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 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 85
boyfriend still goes on pofPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Firstly setting up a 'bogus account' quite clearly says that you don't trust him. I would resent anyone who tried to trap me in that way.
Being a member at POF gives a person the chance to meet friends and chat.
I have recently rejoined after a three year break and I still am in contact with friends that I met on here from 8 years ago!
You do not own the guy and you do not have a right to tell him who he should and shouldn't talk to.If you become possessive and controlling because you feel insecure then don't be surprised if he walks.
Guy's like to flirt, Girl's like to flirt it's human nature.
Sound's to me that you create scenerio's in your head and wait for them to eventuate.....what a waste of time!
 Damienevil
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 86
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:12:05 PM
Nope because nothing in my profile indicates that I am looking for a relationship.

Never mind that I do not believe in monogamy and if I found another women I could easily bring her over to the other girls house for some fun.

Also dating is not exclusive. I also am never exclusive.
 Damienevil
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 87
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:12:43 PM
Never mind the fact that women do not contact me first period so I do not have to care. If I do not talk to them first I do not get a message.
 happy_girl2011
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 88
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:28:06 PM
My boyfriend still has his account active and hasn't changed his relationship status or anything
 blondandbold
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 89
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:49:55 PM
you know if he hiding it from you and you find , then get rid of him

If you want to be on here for friends or forums its no big deal. Your relationship should be open and honest from day one....you have to be secure in what you too have. Its a trust issue. I am happily married, my husband knows i am still on here, and no i didnt meet him in this pond....but i state only on here as friends and forums. Why would i lie to him. Thats where you are doomed.

I love what we have, and he knows he has me fully and 100 percent, i would never jeopardize our marriage for a peron on this site..or any site, i just believe in the concept of friends i made on here and still keep it at that, and read the forums.
 Morena2121
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 90
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:27:21 AM
No you cannot still trust him and you should ditch him before you become even more emotionally attached and end up and a horrible relationship; a cycle consisting of a emotional and mental (MAYBE EVEN PHYSICAL) abuse.
 vixxxy
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 91
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:25:43 AM
i met my ex online, and 6 months later found out he "talks" to A LOT of girls online. i like to call it cheating fantasy. so anyways, he keeps talking to these girls, receives some naked pictures i find, and then decides i want to actually physically get with them. i think you know the rest... dump his ass before you physiologically get destroyed.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 92
view profile
History
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:36:45 AM
That would raise the question "what is he looking for." For me...as soon as I start talking to someone I deactivate my account.

Relationships start with trust. The question to ask is "Can I honestly trust him now?"
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 93
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:47:15 AM
I cannot believe how gullible some folks are.

Which part of Plentyofifsh or Dating site are people having trouble with?

This dude was caught red handed in a lie. BOOT HIM

This dude was caught chatting with other chicks. TO THE CURB

If you get into a relationship (meaning a monogamous union of some sort) then you have no business on any dating site, period. I've never gotten into anything serious from internet dating where both she and I didn't make a point of closing down our accounts. It's a kind of rite of passage, literally closing the book on a chapter of your life.

For buddy the swingin' single up there, carry on carrying on fella. No one can fault you for being honest although they might be wise to make certain they always keep a condom handy. Play safe and all that.

For the OP and anyone else, don't ever tolerate being lied to and treated like shit. You deserve better than that.
 amalefriend
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 94
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 3:12:52 PM
Not much of a damn boyfriend.... If I had that many questions that I felt the need to put up a fake profile, I would have just ended it. He was obviously not worth your time.
 LuvinToLaugh
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 96
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:42:16 PM
When a guy wants you and only you he takes his profile off the site. No questions asked.
It's a true sign of how he respects you and your relationship. There is no such thing as chatting to girls on PoF as friends. Don't be fooled by that one.
 HERBALISTDEON
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 97
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:21:38 PM
IF YOU MEET SOMEONE ONLINE DONT EXPECT NOTHING GOOD OUT OF IT
 BettyMcFattttyPants
Joined: 12/9/2011
Msg: 98
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:39:40 PM
Why are you yelling at us?
 JerryinColumbus
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 99
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:00:18 PM
I find it funny that women of all ages are hooking up with guys like this and even after they catch the guy being unfaithful they stay with him. I was married to the same woman for 37 years and went through alot to keep it together all those years.(and so did she) but now when I contact women on here that are my own age they have no interest in me because I was in such a long relationship. I don't get it. Everyone is looking for that special someone to be with the rest of their life but so many pick someone that is unfaithful or they can't get along with and do this over and over.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 101
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 11:50:26 PM
You should leave the site if you feel this way. I met my fiance on here four years ago. We've been together the entire time, and are getting married this coming June. We don't cheat, and the only reason I have a profile on here is I use many of the forum discussions as 'fodder' for some of my papers. I am working on my PhD in Psychology and have gotten an enormous amount of information about human behavior from these forums. If you check my profile, you will see that it clearly states that I am taken, happily engaged, etc. Not everyone who has a profile on here is some undateable loser, and I had plenty of dates with some really wonderful men before I met my fiance. I had my share of losers, we all make mistakes in judgement, and I had to learn how to spot the 'red flags' like everyone else. But I assure you that I met some wonderful men through this site, and had three who were long-term relationships since I joined in 2003. I have changed my name and tweaked my profile as time went on, but never deleted it. I have hidden it.

The thing that was one of the best indicators of an intelligent man? Good grammar, spelling and the ability to carry on a conversation by email, then im, and then telephone. They didn't want to wait 6 months before meeting, they were looking to meet within a reasonable amount of time, and follow YOUR rules. Oh, and advise to the women, if you carry yourself like a lady, you'll be treated like one!
 Mozzily
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 104
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 1:44:40 PM
No going back now, you will never trust him again.
 BadBoyScout35
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 105
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 2:02:08 PM
As an investigator, I can tell you that if you're already seeing red flags in his behavior and your feelings, then you need to assess what you expect of each other and put it out there. If it's reasonable and he complies, problem solved. If it's reasonable and he doesn't comply, you have a much bigger issue and need to get your butt back to fishing yourself. Sounds like he may have "settled" with you but is looking for something more from someone else or he's an "attention whore" (excuse the term) and loves the interaction from multiple sources instead of being content with you and what you give him. I've found that when dating someone on a regular basis, it's respectful to put the others aside and focus on the one to actually give the real relationship a chance to grow. If he can't do this, then he's not looking for a real relationship, just someone to pass time with until someone new or better or more exciting comes along. If that's the case, then put him back... there are plenty of fish out there looking to get caught ;~)
 andelicka
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 106
view profile
History
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 3:46:11 PM
phe, what did u expect? Never expect anything good from the men u meet on this bloody dating website.!
 Imtheone678
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 107
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 5:45:54 PM
I also met somone on her and she wanted me to get off here so I told her I would hide my profile and after 4 mths she dicided she wasnt ready for a relationship , I was so glad I didnt go completly off , dont worry not all guys are cheaters
 zbeech
Joined: 5/6/2011
Msg: 108
view profile
History
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 6:46:25 PM
Ok, yes the relationship was doomed...but what difference does it make if she snooped or not? I guarantee there was something he did that made her intuition kick which in turn gave her the idea to see if he was still on POF. The bottom line is ... he lied, he cheated and he got caught and I say better to catch him now than further on down the road when she catches him red handed online with some girl he is trying to meet off a dating website.

Why is online dating not for her?? It doesn't matter if it is online dating or any other kind of dating ... a cheater is a cheater and deserves to get caught ... right or wrong? If you felt someone was cheating on you.. wouldn't you want to catch her and prove you are right.. then move on? Even if I meet someone online and begin a relationship, that doesn't mean I should expect him to lie about closing his account and for him to continue to talk to other women if we have agreed not to do that.

Trust issues happen when trust has been broken and this guy can clearly not be trusted because got caught cheating.
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 109
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 7:53:52 PM
NO! he is still looking. I had a guy that I thought things were going well, he kept his profile for some time, but when we broke up and he went back with an ex, he deleted immediately. A guy that feels he has found the ONE will be off here so fast. YOu can count on that!
 NolitaFairytale
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 110
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:29:23 PM
Yeah, isn't it a dinger when someone you've been talking to tells you that they quit the site, but you find them on here with another name?!
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 111
view profile
History
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:31:13 PM

NO! he is still looking. I had a guy that I thought things were going well, he kept his profile for some time, but when we broke up and he went back with an ex, he deleted immediately. A guy that feels he has found the ONE will be off here so fast. YOu can count on that!
Agreed.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 112
view profile
History
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:32:41 PM

phe, what did u expect? Never expect anything good from the men u meet on this bloody dating website.!
ANd why is that?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 113
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:29:50 PM
look, if you are in a committed relationship with this man AND he's still on pof AND willing to chat with some woman, then i think you have the answer to your own question. i mean, it's not like you guys are just dating and seeing other people. you are boyfriend and girlfriend, which means he's a complete cad. no, you can't trust him, and your boyfriend shouldnt' have a bunch of female "friends" that you don't know about. this man is not trustworthy, and i'd get out NOW if i were you. all he is going to do is shut down his account, and put up another one. most likely, it will be one that is unsearchable so that he can spend his time chatting up other women and scamming for an upgrade - because that is what he is doing - keeping his options open. if he was sure about you he wouldn't even risk keeping his profile up on pof for fear of sending you the wrong message and losing you. you are just a woman he is seeing until he meets the woman with whom he really wants a relationship. i know this is hard to hear, but you are a space filler.
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