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 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 35
Getting to know a person through writingPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Exactly!!
My introduction usually starts...:
"Greetings, I'm ****,
I was admiring your (Hair, Eyes, Smile, Dog/Cat/Horse) and was hoping we could chat, sometime...

Admirations....

~ **** "
_IF_ she even reads her incoming mail, she'll look over enough of my profile to determine IF I warrant a response...
(I believe) I put enough effort into my profile to show that I'm open and honest and sincere about finding a quality partner.
My irritation is that most (90-98%) don't even have the manners to respond with:
'Thanx, but no thanx' . . . . . !!
I suppose it's a result of getting so many 'Wolves' messages...Y?/N?
Not All The Good Ones Are Taken!!!
*NATGOAT*
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 36
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 6:14:45 PM
meh, I know the homerow quite well. It matters little. I could write well formed, interesting and personally directed paragraphs with sonnets of romance and intent - or could drop
'Hey baby nice ( @ Y @ ) '
the reaction is the same.
Its stat shopping. the same with the text on your profile - it matters little, it is picture and stat fishing; and if the crab is too little, or the wrong season - back in the water and off the hook.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 37
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:28:23 PM

My first emails may be abit short.
we don't know each other so it is a simple hello...liked your profile/pics
and maybe something short but clever thrown in if I can manage it.


I have to agree with Stray cat.

Also, when I communicate with them, I do not sell myself. If they want they can see my profile, that even though is the longest profile in POF and is practically a novel, women tell me how much they like it. What that really means is that they like what I have to say, and what I think. However, I prefer to move the communications as quickly as possible to a live meeting. There are women out there that are way too comfortable being just pen pals. And that does not work for me.
 ClassicStyle2012
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 38
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:55:17 PM
I agree Rozewater...I think this is why POF is created to be able to screen and learn a bit about a person before you progress to the phone or email ....I can tell so very much from what a guy says, how he presents his thoughts and how long the responses are...and No I don't need a book of a response but more than...yea...no, yes...call me...or what is more horrible is when I get a first contact with "I like you, want to get to know you, here is my number..xxx-xxx-xxxx...call me.... I guess the men think women are just pure desperate!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 39
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:56:35 PM
I think some are adding the length of time of e-mails, the amount of the them,etc to the equation,which kinda confuses the statement from the OP. Also, the generic statement that men are the ones that do not like to write has also got a few hairs up in this conversation.

You don't have to send a thousand e-mails to write an interesting e-mail, or one that exposes certain things about you. I can get to know a person quite well with a few choice words,sentences or paragraphs. I enjoy reading, especially when it interests or informs me(think about it).

What the OP probably doesn't know that some people(both genders) enjoy the written word, and can express well with it. Others do not. Neither are bad or whatever, just different. In other words, some people chose certain forms of communication of which they enjoy because, well, they enjoy it and are probably pretty good at it.

Some love to talk. Some love to write.Some love to see. Some love to hear. Some love to touch.



Some, even, like it all.
 ClassicStyle2012
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 40
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:57:30 PM
I agree Rozewater...I think this is why POF is created to be able to screen and learn a bit about a person before you progress to the phone or email ....I can tell so very much from what a guy says, how he presents his thoughts and how long the responses are...and No I don't need a book of a response but more than...yea...no, yes...call me...or what is more horrible is when I get a first contact with "I like you, want to get to know you, here is my number..xxx-xxx-xxxx...call me.... I guess the men think women are just pure desperate!
 cashleys
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 41
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/13/2011 10:58:15 PM
MEN- do not like to express themselves, talk that much.
A funny story I read.
This woman bought a new blouse went to work and another woman had the same thing on. She talked to her girlfriend on the phone and they went on and on about it for over an hour.
The man comes home, she says " honey you won't believe it" the other woman at work had the same shirt on.
The man's reply---"Well Don't WEAR IT AGAIN". Problem solved, end of story.

That is a man--solves a problem, uses the least amount of words he can.
Dont' you just love them.
 MC_Painter
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 42
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:51:02 AM
Than I must be very different from all the other men here (and I don't type for crap.
If you look at my page it's a mile long (maybe too much) and I just got finish responding to a women telling here about my likes and dislikes of what she likes (Fortuanately I only disliked one of her 16 likes) and I wrote a full page.
I also though sometimes to stick my foot in my mouth when writing and live to regret it very quickly. So I would say it really depends upon the person whether they are male or female
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 43
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 9:04:47 AM
Did you know that if you go into your mail settings in the edit profile section - you can set it so that initial contacts must be X amount of characters?



Good to know. I just set mine to a minimum of 100 - tired of the short msgs like " sup ? " ," nice smile ", etc

Tell me WHY you sent me a msg, geez, you'd think guys would be the ones lacking creativity , eh ? LOL

More on topic, I find talking on the phone SAFER as writing can be misinterpreted since you can't hear a person's tone which is required to detect humour, sarcasm, teasing, etc.

 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 44
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 9:43:01 AM
Agreed! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Too many times the written word is misunderstood and it can stop the process immediately, if that happens. For instance once I posted to a thread that queried something like, "what's the most romantic thing you have ever done with your lover...? " I mentioned a bubble-bath with lots of candles. The man I was connecting with at the time read what I wrote and wrote most vile email I have ever gotten. Guess he thought I was still a virgin.

That said, glad it went no further as he definitely was a pint short of a quart.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 45
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 10:52:23 AM
Wow ^^^^^^^ I'd say you dodged a bullet there !

I'd be doing a big "PHEW !" if I were you !

The guy must've been a total prude to react that way IMO .
 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 46
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 11:09:07 AM
@Maffers:


."or what is more horrible is when I get a first contact with "I like you, want to get to know you, here is my number..xxx-xxx-xxxx...call me.... I guess the men think women are just pure desperate!"

If that is something you think is desperate, wow. He's not asking to have sex. What is the harm in meeting someone in a public place? Like you don't meet strangers everyday in life? Not saying giving out your phone number, but heck lets meet at the ____. The point is to expand your social circle, and comfort level, while being safe... Real life is where you know if ya click...


Meeting is absolutely essential. What she meant was that the first contact was too abrupt. Without a little more info. about himself it doesn't feel comfortable ... In other words give us a reason to meet you, no?
We are not that desperate that we'll go out to meet just anybody.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 47
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History
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 1:42:29 PM




Did you know that if you go into your mail settings in the edit profile section - you can set it so that initial contacts must be X amount of characters?

Good to know. I just set mine to a minimum of 100 - tired of the short msgs like " sup ? " ," nice smile ", etc


I have to disagree strongly. I'm sure the very attractive women who get 20 or more initial messages per day would like for you to say more. But as a man, I get so very, very few initial messages that I am thrilled to death with a message of any length.
 smittin
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 48
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 2:01:28 PM
My husband and I met at a club he was playing in, but we fell in love through emails.

I gave him my email address so he could send me some of his original music. From that point, we emailed constantly, and within 3 weeks I had over 800 messages saved in my inbox.

When I finally saw him typing on his computer, I realized how much those typed messages meant. Hunt. Peck. Hunt. Peck. Hunt. Hunt. Hunt...........One finger.

So it is possible to fall in love through writing, but we had already met and knew there was attraction. Whenever I think how we fell in love by mail it makes me smile.

Especially when I see him type.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 49
Getting to know a person through writing
Posted: 7/14/2011 2:32:35 PM

Good to know. I just set mine to a minimum of 100 - tired of the short msgs like " sup ? " ," nice smile ", etc


I have to disagree strongly. I'm sure the very attractive women who get 20 or more initial messages per day would like for you to say more. But as a man, I get so very, very few initial messages that I am thrilled to death with a message of any length.

I'd disagree, too. Women, in general, aren't really used to contacting men and based on the messages I received, I'd say that most of them haven't the slightest idea of what to say once they've said, ``Hi.'' The most common messages I got said something like, ``Hi. I'm probably not your type, but I wanted to say I liked your profile.'' Many weren't that long. If I had imposed a 100 character cutoff, I think my fiancee would have been deep sixed by the character limit. I'd go more on what happens after one or two messages.
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