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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 40
Should relationships be work?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

You don’t go into a bike ride thinking "I’m going to patsy my way through this and have the best ride ever". You go into it thinking you’re going to give everything you have, it’s going to be intense, you're going to focus on every hill and every corner, and it’s gonna hurt.


Now we're talking the same language!!
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 41
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Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/14/2011 4:57:58 PM
People are a myriad of complex thoughts, interests and motivations. It's not necessarily clear what's always taking the lead at any given time.

Coasting along, not being in tune with shifts in the other, holding onto unrealistic expectations that everything should always be exactly as it was at some point in time, seems a bit weird to me.

We're all like shifting sands - sometimes a bit weaker, a bit aimless, a bit needy a bit stronger. Being able to accept that a partner can be less than ideal and to be able to recalibrate and come back to them and to a relationship with them - without necessarily holding their frailties and failings against them, takes work.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 42
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Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:25:00 PM
Msg.#1:

To live is to exert energy (WORK) on everything.
In relationship, a person has to work on getting along with the other person, and other things, like what she bring on the table, in other words she doesn't throw her weight around, she is careful not to step on his toes,means respect his privacy, she doesn't burb and fart in front of him like what she used to do when she's living single,she doesn't hang her stockings,panties,socks in the shower, before she leave the bathroom ,she has to see to it that she wipe the sink and the commode is clean, she has to stock of things like body wash, toothpastes. very important Vagisil/Eve's feminine wash, that's working on COURTESY... She has to turn on her radar to sense what is the mood of the man, all the time so there won't be any clashes..
she has to work on her cooking skill and sex skill. I think I cover everything but if the relationship doesn't WORK then don't do anything let the relationship WORK it self..

Vannili

 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 43
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Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/14/2011 10:53:17 PM
I work at work.

It's the crazy freakin world instigated expectations couples adopt that make every thing seem like a freakin rewardless job.

for example happeness is your personal search.
ever met anyone with no sacred cows who was happy?
[can't get to know people with sacred cows]
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 44
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Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:04:24 AM

And some folks have immutable "weak" spots which you simply have to accept as permanent fixtures.- Like those twisted masochist who run long distances even when no-one is chasing them.


Those twisted masochist in my point of view are "working " practicing running ,so when their relationship "is not working " and it is unbearable living with that person. They can run with no sweat as fast as they can to that far away distance.



Sorry , I have to tickle myself to laugh of what I posted.....
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 45
Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:57:47 AM

We're all like shifting sands - sometimes a bit weaker, a bit aimless, a bit needy a bit stronger. Being able to accept that a partner can be less than ideal and to be able to recalibrate and come back to them and to a relationship with them - without necessarily holding their frailties and failings against them, takes work.


I think it's more a case of understanding and simply allowing a partner to experience those shifts yet staying in communication on it when needed. We all evolve at different paces and levels and I think it's fairly important to find someone who has had the same level of growth as well as life experiences. I feel with this understanding and awareness of how they've evolved as a person- in positive ways-allows them to know and recognize what we are experiencing when we have a shift or challenge in life. Of course, close communication and knowing that person well will allow for positive shifts that both can experience and learn from and hopefully grow through together.
 Floramac
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 46
Should relationships be work?
Posted: 7/16/2011 4:00:57 AM
""""""""""A relationship is not much different than a job"""""""""""""

that's how I see it.............the pay isn't $$$$ though,,,,,


 drumsafrican12
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 47
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Should relationships be work?
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:21:22 PM
Relationships should have a flow to them, an ease to them. Of course you have to work at a relationship, but if it involves constant struggle and too much work, then the relationship isn't a good one for a long-term commitment.

Judith
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