Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Head of the household?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 126
Head of the household?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I have to laugh at those who look at the past through rose colored glasses.Ahhh the good ole days....They were not so very good if you actually had to live them.

Good men are in abundance.They have not gone anywhere.If one finds themselves always with bad men then the problem is with them,not with men in general.

I think that most men are relieved to no longer have to shoulder the burden alone.Everything no longer falls on them to decide all alone while the wife smiles blankly in the background.

Any woman who wants to go back to the days of being nothing more then one of the children can feel free to do so.I would rather be an adult.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 127
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 12:10:03 AM

Unmarried men die younger than married men. Guess to save us women from old horn dogs.

Naturally all single men become old horn dogs. Would you like to hear some more useless statistics? Apparently android users are more promiscuous, women only have shelf life between 18 and 30 and conservatives have more satisfying sex life. Amusing indeed.


There are millions upon millions of examples where men have shown that they do not have the skills, integrity or ability to be the head of cleaning urinals, let alone be the decider in a family. With all of the abundance of proof that a large percentage of men are not capable of the responsibility of heading a household, how does this myth still survive?

wow. do you even like dyck? After misandric statement like that I doubt any man will want to do anything with you.


I think that most men are relieved to no longer have to shoulder the burden alone.Everything no longer falls on them to decide all alone while the wife smiles blankly in the background.

It is a relieve but at what price? Ask any man if they had to choose between hard labor and loosing their masculinity. Most will part with their limbs before losing their manhood. I've always had only one advice for women with men trouble: If you want a happy man, stroke his c0ck or stroke his ego.


Any woman who wants to go back to the days of being nothing more then one of the children can feel free to do so.I would rather be an adult.

Amusing but it seems mature women are ones who realize importance of natural balance between sexes.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 128
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:23:56 AM
Now abelian, where did you come up with that?
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 129
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:23:21 AM
MystikalMe
Yeh, I can see some validity to this issue , but I also believe we women burned our own bridges, for the long run, by demanding all this equal rights, I want what he has/gets, attitude.
I ABSOLUTELY believe there are equal places of value for a woman and a man in this world, yet and sadly, these equal places of value, have long been distorted, misplaced and misunderstood for a long, long time now.

Did you perhaps stop and think for a minute that NOT ALL women want babies and the picket fence and neat white house with a swing set in the yard? That some women actually looked at all their options and made choices that suited them better?

I can think of one place, I firmly believe women do not have a place in... and that's being a cop or a firefighter. Physically and perhaps mentally a woman is not made out to be either one of these....

That may be your opinion, but it is also a slap in the face for the women who are currently doing those jobs and doing them well. They chose those jobs for the same reason as men: To help people. I bet you think they shouldn't join the military either? Tsk tsk, what disrespect you have for your sister's in the trenches, shame on you!
At least they are getting the same pay as their male counterparts, something you failed to mention regarding the women's movement....

CarKam:
now we get to work all day and then fit 8 hours of household chores and family time into 2 hours per night.

Again, some women actually love their jobs and realize that their jobs/careers actually contribute something worthwhile in their lives.

To me, head of the household means leading the family in the right direction even if it means being the bad guy.

I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I'll happily be the head of my own household without some "bad guy" telling me how I have no say or whether my best interests are protected (or not).

My home environment is not up for anything but peaceful and serene (and clean and organized) and I will not accept anything less from a partner (or friends or family for that matter) who does not value or respects that. The day that I do have a partner, the last thing on our minds will be who gets to be the head of the household. Instead it will be how we get to thrive in our household.
 roylee42
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 130
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:43:41 AM
"back in the day when the woman stayed at home to look after the kids and the man went to work and was the sole breadwinner then he was the head of the house, but in these days of equality noone is head of the house, its very sexist to say that"



Somebody has to be to some extent be it the man or woman. Even teams have a leader. The two of you can make all the decisions together but there are when it comes to a situation where you cannot agree and when crunch time hits somebody has to make the call. It's not perfect but that's the way things work.

I personally cannot stand being told to make all the decisions. If I wanted to have another kid I would just have one not get into a relationship with it.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 131
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:40:16 AM
some women actually looked at all their options and made choices that suited them better?
That's all fine and dandy if it didn't influence society as a whole. Now female choices are 'put out' or 'get out' as the need for relationships and family has been pushed into obscurity. What man in his right mind would want to get married nowadays? I suppose it's a mans fault that I hear punk kids talking about assaulting women like they would a man because they are 'equal'? Perhaps you should look at this society objectively and judge it just as harshly as you do others. Adulterous, immoral me, I and my self culture that thrives on instant gratification, greed and misery.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 132
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:23:11 AM

Even teams have a leader. The two of you can make all the decisions together but there are when it comes to a situation where you cannot agree and when crunch time hits somebody has to make the call. It's not perfect but that's the way things work.


Exactly right.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:11:08 PM

wow. do you even like dyck? After misandric statement like that I doubt any man will want to do anything with you.


How do you figure that was a misandric statement. It is reality, there are millions of men that have abandoned their families and run off to a better deal, there are millions of men that have chosen booze or drugs over their families, there are millions of men that have physically abused their spouses and children. That isnt misandry, its stating a fact, and that fact is even more glaring when that old chestnut about men being the natural leader and the natural head of the household gets thrown out there. I am simply questioning why this myth continues to be held out there as some sort of truth, when the reality is that just because you have a penis, it doesnt give you magical powers.



Amusing but it seems mature women are ones who realize importance of natural balance between sexes.


What is this natural balance that you are speaking about? Please explain in detail that doesnt include generalities that are applicable to both sexes, I dont think you can, because there are no personality characteristics that are gender specific, anyone who believes that certain genetalia is a guarantee of certain personality characteristic is blowing hot air.
 MssCrystal
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 134
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:12:03 PM
I believe both the male and female are a team thus both heads of the household. The poster who indicated that it should be the male who is the head of the home is clearly sexist and living back in the dark ages.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:17:11 PM
Try it when you get divorced and working on equality.......one can take the dependent deduction and the other the head of household deduction......got to like equality!!....

And which one claims the head of household? I say it should be the one where the child(ren) live the most......that is only fair!

End of discussion!

cd..........
 WinningPrize
Joined: 3/21/2010
Msg: 136
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:32:27 PM
I love your answer Mme Petunias ;)
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 137
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:49:18 PM

Naturally all single men become old horn dogs.


Explain the sales of Viagra dude.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 138
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:52:40 PM

I can think of one place, I firmly believe women do not have a place in... and that's being a cop or a firefighter. Physically and perhaps mentally a woman is not made out to be either one of these....


EXCUSE me I was a correctional officer on Death Row in the state of TEXAS. I also walk amoung the inmates as a general population correctional officer. I WAS good at my job. They respected my word.
 Michelangelo1976
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 139
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:59:48 PM
It's like football. Quarterbacks are usually chosen by the fact that they have to be able to think and that is why men of a particular trait are chosen for that role.

Runningbacks are typically men who grew up on the learning of "snatch, grab, and run like hell!" and that is why the men who are runningbacks have the particular traits that THEY do.

Have a nice day.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 140
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:01:07 PM
It is reality, there are millions of men that have abandoned their families and run off to a better deal, there are millions of men that have chosen booze or drugs over their families, there are millions of men that have physically abused their spouses and children.

What reality do you live in? There are millions of women who have done the same. It's called ugly side of humanity. Stop living in a rosy glow of feminism and stop demonising men. Women are not perfect, men are not perfect. People are not perfect.


What is this natural balance that you are speaking about? Please explain in detail that doesnt include generalities that are applicable to both sexes, I dont think you can, because there are no personality characteristics that are gender specific, anyone who believes that certain genetalia is a guarantee of certain personality characteristic is blowing hot air.

Look up masculinity and femininity.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 141
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:37:43 PM
It's more bible b.s. "Head of the household" even the term makes me gag. pun NOT intended lol.
The thought process behind this is to keep women under control.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 142
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:49:11 PM

Woman just had to open their mouths and demand equal rights...



Yeh, I can see some validity to this issue , but I also believe we women burned our own bridges, for the long run, by demanding all this equal rights, I want what he has/gets, attitude.
I ABSOLUTELY believe there are equal places of value for a woman and a man in this world, yet and sadly, these equal places of value, have long been distorted, misplaced and misunderstood for a long, long time now.


What’s really distorted, misplaced and misunderstood is that equality, equal rights, equal value is bullshiit….not so long ago women were considered legal possessions of their husbands. Are you cool with that? Not so long ago spousal rape was legal. You cool with that too? Jeezus…pick up a history book. Pick up a law book. Research what your husband could legally do to you not so long ago. Oh, and remember, if you didn’t want to live in poverty your whole life, you got married. You had no options.

Too bad courageous women went to all the trouble to pave your ungrateful way for you. You could be living the high life, being chained to the stove during the day and the bed at night, while a nice man does all your thinking for you.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 143
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:13:18 PM
Because ..I was the one in our marriage , who in tradegy had to be strong and make decisions about funeral arrangment , what casket , what clothes to be buried in.
Because ...I was the one who had to go check the strange noise downstairs at night
Because ....I was the one who would always to where needed , when the roads were icey and snow covered

Because of these , and hundreds of other similar things

My ex and g/fs........ would only smile , if I referred to myself as head of the house
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 144
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:34:06 PM

Ask any man if they had to choose between hard labor and loosing their masculinity.

How very sad that your masculinity is so tied into how much you make and contribute to your household. I truly hope you never lose your ability to work or grow old because if so your sense of masculinity will cease to exist.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 145
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:10:54 PM
I admit I haven't read through the entire thread, skimmed it a bit, but I'll add my two cents anyway.

Since I've always grown up in a world where women could also work and contribute monetarily to the household expenses, I've never really felt that was a battle I had to fight, although I am certainly appreciative of the numerous women who preceded me who did fight that particular battle. But because I grew up where such is the norm, I will admit it's not something that really crosses my mind on a day-to-day basis when I head for work at 6:30 each morning.

"Head of the Household" as an "Official Title", perhaps this is just something else that I would consider to be 'normal' but, my husband and I each simply recognize each others' strengths and weaknesses, and take the lead accordingly to make up the slack where necessary. We're a team, so where I might lack, he does the extra legwork to cover, and vice versa. Often it does fall into traditional stereotypical roles, I'll drop a book on the big spiders that occasionally venture into the house, but he's still the one that takes the carcasses outside after the fact. I have no problem with that, nor does he. He's a chef, but I do most of the cooking most nights; neither of us have a problem with that either.

He's great with money...but I'm fantastic with it. It doesn't need to be a stereotypical 1950s thing where he hands over his paycheque to me to run the household with, not by any means. We each take care of what needs taking care of, but he doesn't consider it unusual at all to hand me any extra 'fun money" and say "Okay babe, double this for me".

I don't see why it needs to be a male vs female thing at all. Why not be proud of a partner's strengths? Why not do the extra legwork to cover for a partner's weaknesses? I'm probably antisocial by and large, and my husband is not; fantastic, if he does the talking then I don't need to!

We work as a team though, overall. I suck at electrical repairs in the house, he's fantastic with them. My pet peeve chore is laundry, so he does that. I get home earlier than he does most days, so I'll often mow the lawn before he gets home. It's not a competition, it's simply two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company trying to take the burden off a partner in ways that play up our own strengths or weaknesses, likes or dislikes, and also allows us more free time to spend together after chores are completed.

He is more soft-spoken than I am overall. This will probably tick a lot of the womenfolk off so far in this thread but...one thing I will always respect with my husband is...since he's so mellow overall, when he DOES actually put his foot down???

Then damned straight I listen.

To each their own; it works for us.
 Older_N_Wiser
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:04:01 PM
In my relationship, my boyfriend is the head of the house. This is something that we both agree on. In all situations different people have different ideas and someone has to make the final decision. In our case, that is his to make. Oh, I do get imput. We discuss the situation, he listens to my opinions and desires. But in the end, he makes the final decisions. And the consequences of that decision, good or bad, fall to him as well. I may not always agree with his decisions and that is ok. I know he will strive to always do what he feels is best for both of us.
 DesmondT
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 147
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:08:32 PM
Lol women only show up when it come to equality in certain aspects. Most often they hide behind the man for security they say... well I personally see all as equal
 Older_N_Wiser
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:48:54 PM
Men and women are not the same. Yes we are both equally valuable but in different ways. Both are (in a way) incomplete without the other. We are two halves of a whole, both dependant on the other and at the same time independant of the other.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 149
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:17:41 PM
@Zen
That's all fine and dandy if it didn't influence society as a whole. Now female choices are 'put out' or 'get out' as the need for relationships and family has been pushed into obscurity.

And yet the world's population has exploded as a result. Imagine that!

What man in his right mind would want to get married nowadays?

What woman would want to get married nowadays either? What point are you trying to make?

Perhaps you should look at this society objectively and judge it just as harshly as you do others.
Adulterous, immoral me, I and my self culture that thrives on instant gratification, greed and misery.

Unless you actually know me (which you don't), you can not know why I make the decisions I do, what I believe in, what I will stand for, the roads I've walked, the things I've done and seen, my passions, the people I value, the things I'll fight for, what makes me smile, laugh, cry, etc. etc. etc. So that leaves you only to project and assume the incorrect about me, so just who is judging harshly here?

Older N Wiser
We are two halves of a whole, both dependant on the other and at the same time independant of the other.

Very well said.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 150
Head of the household?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:49:11 PM
How very sad that your masculinity is so tied into how much you make and contribute to your household. I truly hope you never lose your ability to work or grow old because if so your sense of masculinity will cease to exist.
Me? Though I appreciate the attention, don't make this about me. My masculinity is not up for discussion.


Explain the sales of Viagra dude.
HAHAHA! And birth control explains sluts?


And yet the world's population has exploded as a result. Imagine that!
Do you actually view that as a positive outcome?


What woman would want to get married nowadays either? What point are you trying to make?
I just point out the obvious. If you are happy with a society of casual sex I am certain modern men will not lift a finger to change it. 'They don't make 'em as they use to' Today men and women are unable to form and maintain long lasting relationships. This why some people are unhappy and look back at 'good old days'. There is cause and effect and yes, I take bias into consideration. Chivalry, masculinity and femininity are constantly under attack. Womens and individual rights always take precedence over family or mens rights. Why this wasn't an issue 60 years ago?


Men and women are not the same. Yes we are both equally valuable but in different ways. Both are (in a way) incomplete without the other. We are two halves of a whole, both dependant on the other and at the same time independant of the other.
It is a shame so few realize this.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Head of the household?