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 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 26
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If a guy intends to settle into a comfort zone he shouldn't marry an always improvement girl. Again, not enuff recon in advance. How people behave in a relationship shouldn't be a surprise in a marriage. Folks should have figured that out when dating.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 27
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:05:21 PM

If a guy intends to settle into a comfort zone he shouldn't marry an always improvement girl
I don't think the guy goes into the marriage thinking he will quickly settle into this comfort zone. I think in the beginning they very well might have been on the same page. People in general should always be working towards improvement. If I was ever lucky enough to find a girl to marry again you bet your tush she will be "an always improvement girl".
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 28
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:38:06 PM
If a woman gets married with unrealistic expectations,
it is generally because the guy fed those expectations.

Like the guy who wants the girl so badly that he promises her a new caddy
on only a Hyundai income. Whose at fault then?

I think anyone who ends up disappointed in marriage
just didn't do enuff recon before they tied the knot.

When I'm seriously dating a girl I have to be realistic with her
about who she's involved with. If it doesn't run her off, I have a winner.
Sometimes we have to be courageous about that.
Instead of timidly hoping things will work out
after she has been suckered in and trapped by vows.


Best post yet...
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 29
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 12:28:54 AM

I think women are more critical than men when it comes to relationships/marriage.


I'm not clear on why you think this OP??? How have you drawn this conclusion?


While most men go into these things with a go with the flow mentality. Most women go in I think seeking the fairy tale they imagined all their lives. They have a definite plan and specific dreams. A few years down the road if these dreams aren't realized they wake up thinking "WTH this is not what I signed up for this is not going according to the fairy tales or the movies that I love so much". And they become disillusioned and a little less happy.


I think that we must have known very different women. I can't think of one woman I've ever known who has believed that her relationship/marriage will automatically become "happy ever after" if she can only get close enough to kiss her toad into a prince.

What I have seen among young women getting married is unfortunately that a great many of them are trying to escape unhappy home lives with parents they no longer see eye to eye with. Even more of them are in a rush to be seen as "adult" or at least "mature" enough to be treated like grown-ups. There are some who are simply transferring from Daddy to Hubby because they have no desire to EVER be responsible for anything but even this isn't the result of fairytale conditioning.

I have often thought that people get into relationships/marriages simply because they don't like being alone. Their need is to be "with someone" so that they don't have to feel lonely. Once they've filled that need (to be with someone and not lonely), the need goes away and THEN, they actually start looking at the person they've chosen without that need fuzzing up their vision. They even get to where they forget what drew them together until, dissension between them causes the loneliness to return. I don't know what others might say but I believe that loneliness within a relationship/marriage is far more profound than the loneliness that made them come together to begin with simply for the fact that they're no longer free to go exercise the options they once had as single people.

Women, by nature, tend to be far more willing to maintain the degree of involvement that first came so naturally between their mates and themselves simply because that's really the only reward they get for a life than can quickly become very mundane with only housework and child-rearing to look forward to... Men tend to let the romantic extras dry up and then wonder why their partners are not as loving as they used to be.

I don't think fairy tales have anything to do with whether or not a relationship or marriage makes women less happy than men. I think if most of us could just hang on to the voluntary, loving attention we are treated with during the dating phase, we'd be a lot happier in our marriages and relationships.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 30
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Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 1:47:14 AM
I think both parties really don't know what they're in for when they get married. From the moment we're self aware, we're indoctrinated with the idea that we MUST get married and have children when we grow up, and that will make us very happy. No one ever tells us that it doesn't necessarily work out that way. Women are brought up to believe that men just can't wait to get married, have kids, work our asses off and give them our money, and give up all of our recreational fun in exchange for a life of raising children. But getting married and having children is WORK; you get less sleep, work harder, and have to give up a whole lot of things that you enjoyed doing before you got married. Problem is, raising children isn't all that exciting and enjoyable as we were told. It's something that we have to do to populate the society we live in. But it's usually not a whole lot of fun. People always tell me how 'rewarding' it is to raise their children; but they almost always say it without a smile on their faces.
Some reasons why women are more unhappy: They continue to do more housework than their husbands. While this may sound unfair, if you compare how much time single men and single women spend on housework, while single, women spend about twice as much as men. But when they get married, those women expect the men to start doing just as much as the women are, so both sides usually wind up unhappy with the result. Second, when the couple has children, it's the woman who's body and lifestyle get turned completely upside down, more so than her husband's, and she often resents that whether consciously or subconsciously. During the years when caring for newborn children, parents spend vast amounts of time and losing lots of sleep taking care of them, none of which makes them happy. So you have tired, cranky people, both expecting the other one to pitch in more on the chores, then wonder why the romance is gone from their lives. So now the woman is stuck home with the kids instead of having 'free time' to herself, and the husband looks elsewhere for his recreation (and sometimes even his romance and sex) which breeds animosity between the mates as well. While I'm sure this isn't the way it always plays out, it does seem to be a pretty common scenario.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 31
Women are less happy than men in their marriage/long term relationships because they expected more.
Posted: 7/16/2011 4:20:07 AM

I've since let that dream go because no one has EVER lived up to my expectations and never will. I want that castle, not a mobile home.


I must say Seakytten, you still have a way with words! Good post!
 ekw1234
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 32
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 4:27:00 AM
Wow!! this is genius and innovative, lets all go and blame the women for their own dissatisfaction.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 33
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:38:21 AM
f'n epifany.
I think it knows where it comes from. Women are the consumate shoppers and consumers. and in their mantra world of retail extravaganza -The CUSTOMER is ALWAYS RIGHT !' So it isnt a realtionship - its f*cking customer service position, and no matter how much you do, when you do it, how you do it, how often you do it - it doesnt f*n matter because her perception of what is 'right' is the correct one.
And Lord help you if her friend got a better 'deal' than she is getting. She will make demands of the quick lube place in a frame of mind of Nordstoms
What do you mean I cant use a competitors coupon, and you should up grade me to the premium service, I am after all here doing you a favor with the business and the Customer is always RIGHT.

F*ck that. I have fired customers in the past, when working at Harley. And my boss was always upset..... until someone else on staff did indeed cave into and 'make the sale' and the customer was more trouble, pain, effort, loss than they were worth. The "I told you' was never more fun, when the shiate didnt stick to me.

So face it guys, we are applying to a position that the pet already enjoys, with expectations of customer service brought to you by Madison Avenue.
Heres to hoping Gay Marriage rocket ships off the charts,
and women get a firm dose of reward for their past behavior and current market activity.

Thanks for reaffirming how much I HATE 'customer service'
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 34
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 6:35:27 AM
We cannot generalise why other peoples relationships fail. There are as many examples of men being long term planners and the woman being a 'live by the seat of your pants' budgetor as there are men.

It comes down to 2 people having an expectation and not really sharing it. Maybe because they are scared to share it till after the vows for fear of rejection...(for myself, I thought being in love with one another was enough) however, these expectations hit them clear in the face as soon as the adult bills, children, home and jobs come about. Then the real expectations surface. Too late in many cases.

If I had really looked at my ex husbands family dynamic before marrying him, I would have known how he was taught to treat a wife. But I was in love and was taught 'love conquers all'. Total Bullchit. It does conquer all when the 2 in love have the same expectations and can always present that united front. And that only happens when during the dating phase both parties seriously look at one another and tell one another what they expect thier day to day married life to be like. For some reason in N American culture, these discussions do not take place-we are told to marry for love. To my way of thinking, this is where the stem grows with false expectations. Right from the start, we are taught total BS. Add the hormonal and mental differences between the sexes and it is a disaster waiting to happen most times. Cant blame one sex or the other really, it is a societal issue that affects all children, regardless of sex, so we should stop focussing on which sex is more correct...and focus on training our kids as to what a healthy, realistic relationship looks like!

I cant stand hearing how the females are always looking for that fairytale...boys were read them too, and they took on the male parts, such as pretending to be a prince or white night, and the girls took on the female roles. One is no better than the other, they are both false. The only kids who should have fairy tales read to them are the ones born into a royal family, they just dont apply to the every day kid-we really need to stop reading this crap to our kids. The liklyhood of your daughter meeting a man who will always be there with enough money to bail her out of any jam life tosses her way is all crap...yet we tell our children stories that revolve around such issues and wonder why they have unrealistic expectations? Thats a big burden for the every day young man, and not gonna happen. And it is sad that we teach the young ladies to hold the bar that high for the men, and not for themselves. How come no fairytales teach a woman that she should be self sufficient? Oh thats right...the lonely, haggard old witch lives alone in those stories...the UNACCEPTABLE old witch is self sufficient. The young, pretty, slender girl needs a man though. Nice message. Who wrote that chit?

As long as we as a society, present these false expectations to our children, this will continue to happen.

I actually loved being married, being part of a team. Had I chosen the appropriate partner who saw married life the way I do, we likely would still be married. He is not a bad man, we just didnt flush out ahead of time what we both required in marriage. I wanted a man who would notice when I was tired of doing everything and offer to help out, he wanted a wife like his Mom who as a martyr did everything and never complained. His mom stayed home and he figured adding working outside the home to his wifes list of duties should not be a big deal, and still do everything at home. Huge problem here...and he was not willing to bend. His expectation was that I work fulltime, come home and work fulltime there, while he relaxed after a hard days work. His role was not that much different than his Dads role, yet he could not see why changing my role (by adding working outside the home to my role) should mean some type of compromise around the house. Had I spent more time in his families home before we married, I would have run like I was on fire but I did not. My fault. I should have asked-do you want a traditional wife who stays home, or a career woman? I did not ask. His answer was after marriage 'I want both and I want to act like a traditional husband regardless'...that should have/would have sent me running but I didnt ask ahead of time! I was in love and figured a man who loves me will automatically want fairness at home. DUH! Not the same things! Love doesnt equal wanting the same things.

I come off as hardened because I always councel couples who ask for advice, to take thier love for one another out of the equation...and look at how you both want to live the rest of your lives. I am told I am cold hearted, jaded etc...I am not at all. I just learned the hard way that emotions and feelings, while awesome, do not hold people together. You need to agree on how the money, children and household chores will be done. These 3 areas will break up even the most lovey-dovey couples if they dont agree on them. No fairy tale tells us how to manage when these 3 things are not in synch.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 35
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Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 7:44:06 AM
tdh thanks for the question:

My observation on marriage here in USA is so different than marriage in my old country, yes you could say playing checker or chess, who ever comes the" winner" but not the" man"..." Yes, filling golds on that sack of the woman is never a enough because the sack has a big hole."

It is not fair to blame the woman or the man why marriage/relationship did not work out.. Most of them are the products of divorce parents, so their mind pattern,is man and woman are opponents,always bickering, you can cut with a knife their hostility fog with each other, after the* honeymoon.*

Dad is only for good time ,when he pick up Susy from Mom, they go movies, ice creams ,skatings ,shoppings,ect, ect, so when Susy grows up she expect that to a man whom she'd marry or have relationship with.
And the man too expect too much from the woman ...

While in the old country,we don't have good time with our Dad, he play,tease and talk with us, he is" sometimes" generous of what we want like a new dress , actually Mom handle his money ..
When we become a teenager Dad is so strict, girlfriends has to ask permission in a respectful manner if they can invite us to a party,sleep in their house,go to downtown,ect.ect.
Dad knows all the boys we befriend, Dad taught us to be respectful to a boy so he won't think to do bad things to us.. And we wash/iron dad's clothes ,serve his dinner when Mom is visiting her relatives or she is sick ect..I gave my first pay to him and he gave it to my mom..(and I did never dream that I will support a husband for 3 years in my adulthood). The first man in our life is our Father. So when it comes to a man we are good as a comrade...
Married/relationship is a vocation of good partnership....
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 36
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 8:30:55 AM
In my 49 years, my brain must've switched to more male thinking... 'cause some of the women's responses here are so FOOKING LONG, that I just can't fathom reading 'em..... holy chit.

tdh, love the thought you posted here.... and have agreed with some that even you rolled your eyes at. Women are emotional beings. Men are rational beings. MOST OF THE TIME.... not 100% of the time. Women will think five steps ahead because that's our nature. Men are more in the moment beings, dealing with the here and now without ties to anything or connecting unless it's gonna satisfy them in the moment.

Expectations are held on both sides, but I've noticed that it's HAVING expectations that is the downfall of every relationship. Give up your expectations of others and there's not gonna be any disappointment. Renegotiation of needs/wants/desires IN THE MOMENT are the key to a successful partnership.

Lastly, 'cause I'm already typing too gawdamnmuch..... is that bullchit about fairy tales has to stop. How old are we?!?! ANYONE who is still using analogies of Cinderella or Snow White in their own life needs to be shaken til their brain rattles.




bullie~
*who isn't even sure she addressed the OP..... I'm tired and need sex damnit... and a beer!
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 37
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 8:52:43 AM

that bullchit about fairy tales has to stop. How old are we?!?! ANYONE who is still using analogies of Cinderella or Snow White

Tall, dark, smart, riding in on 100 shiny horses to save the emotional princess from herself..
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 38
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:15:11 AM

Tall, dark, smart, riding in on 100 shiny horses to save the emotional princess from herself..


AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake *
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 39
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:19:13 AM

The last part I so fricking understand.. Knight in shining armor my arse. Life isn't a disney movie, never has been. The whole problem is people aren't real on their expectations They simply expect more then they give.


Yup yup... and their expectations are THEIRS.... not their partners.... and so when THEIR needs don't get met, they blame the other person. How fooked up is THAT?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 40
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:28:26 AM
I'm tired and need sex damnit. and a beer
See if this was ALL women expected from marriage there would be a lot less divorces. Since this pretty much covers most guys expectations.



In my 49 years, my brain must've switched to more male thinking... 'cause some of the women's responses here are so FOOKING LONG, that I just can't fathom reading 'em..... holy chit.
There is quite a bit of logic and reasoning in those long post actually. Women seem to have given this topic much thought over the years and have a whole lot of get off their chest. I usually get my eyes glossed over trying to read long posts but these have been quite informative.

 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 41
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:36:02 AM
I'm not sure it is because they expect more. I think it has more to do with how women are treated in their early years. They expect to be treated a certain way perhaps. However, I think a man and a woman can have the same expectations due to their early environment which shaped their value system

I have come to the conclusion that us women are sometimes more difficult to deal with. Men are seemingly more easy-going (at least the men in my family are). This does not apply to all women or men though.

I think we are dictated by our hormones/biology more than we know.

Men like to assume that women's up and down moods are "made up". However, when a woman becomes pregnant with a man's child, he accepts her moods as normal, but when the same hormones are going on when a woman is not pregnant (how can one not correlate pregnancy hormones with menstruation hormones is beyond me), people do not let her off the hook or she is faking.

Now, not all women are like this, but not all women have the same level or hormones.

Similarly, men have different levels of hormones as well.

We do think and act differently on some things, while other times we are in perfect agreement.

I've learned to accept that men do some things that I'll never understand. Within a relationship context, it's learning to accept and let these things go or communicate that makes or breaks things.


<div class='quote'>See if this was ALL women expected from marriage there would be a lot less divorces. Since this pretty much covers most guys expectations.

I think women who don't add sex into the equation are not experiencing satisfaction from sex. I know I was like that in my early to mid 20's. Once I realized what I was missing.....

Note however that this comment is all about THE MAN. Just as you cannot change your "sex" expectations, women cannot change their (for lack of a better example right now) "need for security".

Like I said, an understanding and letting go of continually questioning why and communicating "how we tick" would go a long way. That's something I've learned over the years.

I also don't think men are totally "simple creatures". Sure when it comes to sex they are, but in other areas they can be as complex as women. This is why we will never fully "get" each other. LOL.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 42
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Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 10:17:56 AM
Dunno that women (in general) "expect more" in a relationship, but guys do seem to be held more "responsible" (even when they aren't). Oh, and if there's an "issue", odds are that she's sure gonna let you know about it! Or as the old saying goes, ""If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 43
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Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 11:54:39 AM
Bullie good point..... I might add this too

Men see relationship as physical first and emotional second
Women see relationship as emotional first, physical second

Until both genders are able to more fully embrace and develop a desire and respect for the secondary feelings/needs.... only then will men and women balance each other into a healthy, whole, mutual, and satisfying relationship for both persons....
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 44
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 2:06:06 PM
I have no idea what most women expect from marriage or relationships. I don't think my expectations are that fairy tale like. I would go into a marriage expecting them to be able to take care of themselves, be faithful to me, act like an adult, and be there for emotional support.

I don't think people are that complex.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 45
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Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:38:56 PM
I don't think people are that complex.

Perhaps, but if that were so, we wouldn't have the range of opinions that we do here. Things are only "simple" when we assume everyone else thinks the same way we do. Which IMHO, is a big part of the problem.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 46
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:45:26 PM

From my experiences and observations..........I tend to think men have unrealistic expectations of women when it comes to relationships and/or marriages. Even in the dating world.......men expect women to be more entertaining than they are and they expect women to provide more entertainment than they do.



They seem to not understand that the reason the relationship is usually doing well is because SHE continues to invest herself in it, once HE feels that her needs are no longer important, her investment wanes, then all of a sudden he can't figure out why the relationship isn't doing well.



You yourself describe how many men see relationships, quite a few men seem to love to reap the rewards of a nurturing relationship yet seem reluctant to continue to invest in the emotional side. They seem to not understand that the reason the relationship is usually doing well is because their partner continues to invest in it, once she feels that her needs are no longer important, her investment wanes, then all of a sudden he cant figure out why the relationship isnt doing well.



But I agree with grizzelda, when she states that often they stop nurturing the courtship side of the relationship, which we crave and is so essential! ... and yet they continue to expect it from their partner.


Ah, yes, the ol' "no matter what broke up the relationship, it's invariably the guy's fault" take on things....

... love it.

Women are infallible and always right...

... which really IS the downfall of so many relationships.

Women put more energy into making the guy meet HER expectations and meeting HER needs that it gets so fvcking exhausting. Sure, as someone pointed out, change happens and CAN be a good thing, but holy fvck, have you women ever lived with other women in a serious relationship?

The colour of the walls don't have to change every 6 months, nor does the flooring, the furniture, the car, the wardrobe or any of the other million things that women find unsatisfying.

So many of us guys just get tired of being told we aren't doing something right, that something else needs to change, that the wife needs this that and the other thing. The demands never stop, fer fvck sake. Women go out of their way to find things to be unhappy about. And, their constant unhappiness makes them very difficult to live with....

... and, it's NOT the guy's fault all the time.

Women think they're these marvelous communicators, but they really are NOT. Women communicate AT their men, not WITH them. Women LOVE to yap about how THEIR needs are not being met, but NEVER stop to consider the needs of their men.

Christ, after a while men just want some peace and quiet. After all, what the hell is wrong with just being happy with what IS?


 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 47
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:52:29 PM
I think women are more critical than men when it comes to relationships/marriage. While most men go into these things with a go with the flow mentality. Most women go in I think seeking the fairy tale they imagined all their lives. They have a definite plan and specific dreams. A few years down the road if these dreams aren't realized they wake up thinking "WTH this is not what I signed up for this is not going according to the fairy tales or the movies that I love so much". And they become disillusioned and a little less happy.

I'd agree with this for my own self. At least 20 years ago.

A man(simple creatures that we are) wake up everyday thinking "Well I love her today, and I will very likely love her tomorrow, so I am totally happy". But women are just so much more complex than men. They have to have a plan that stretches out well into the future. And that plan is forever being adjusted once certain goal are met. If the goals stop getting met....Whoa nelly. unhappiness tend to set in.

Again? For me? 20 years ago I probably did think like this? Today? Hell NO. I'm just happy today is a good day. Tomorrow? That'll happen in 24 hours. We'll see how it goes.

When it comes to relationships/marriage men mind work like they are playing checkers. While the mind of a woman works like she is a grand master in chess always planning 4 or 5 years ahead.

Geez, I'm so simple-minded now that I can't fathom making something complicated. I don't have any interest in thinking like I did years and years ago. I'm happy with shiny balls and strange bugs and loads of laughter. The inner workings of my relationship? Thankfully, they work without much work/thought.

Do you think the expectations of women and men are totally different going into marriage/long term relationship?

I think when people are mis-matched this is exactly what happens. And I think this is especially prevalent in those much younger than I am. I know that age, the harshness of life, etc., etc., have changed me a serious degree, as I used to expect all sorts of things from myself and those around me. Not today. I expect the sun to rise and for it to set. Everything in between? It's a wonderful mystery that unfolds every day. I wish I had been this way many many many years ago ~ such a different way to exist...or live, rather. JMO
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 48
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 6:15:55 PM
Women love the idea of getting married, but they hate being married.
Men love getting into relationships, but not so much a marriage, but they love being nurtured and loved.

Be happy with your male brain. It works just fine. Its basic, "I would do her, I would not do her". Thats all you need.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 49
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 7:43:13 PM
Women love the idea of getting married, but they hate being married.
For the most part women have a darn good reason to hate being married. On average they put in way more work in their marriage than most men. It's a hell of a lot more work to be a wife, a house keeper, and a mother, than it is to be a husband and a dad.

And even if a wife has a job she still is expected to be a good house keeper in between working that job. I know this is sexist as hell but if I went to a married friends house and it was messy, I automatically start looking at his wife, it matters not if they both work outside the home. Society will still look at keeping the house clean as "woman's work". Is it any wonder women get disillusioned once in awhile and start screaming "I didn't sign up for this"?

It's like the wife have a dollar and everytime she gives that dollar to her husband he gives her 75 cents in return. That's a great deal for the husband, but a terrible one for the wife. But now if the wife ever wises up and start giving the hubby 75 cent for the 75 cents he is giving her. He will get annoyed and start to wonder why he is no longer getting the great deal he has taken for granted all their marriage. And the same thing will happen if the wife suggest he actually start giving her a dollar in return for the dollar she is giving him. He will then start thinking why would he need to start putting more in to get more out? When he was getting so much for such little effort before?.

So yes for the most part women expect more from their marriage than their husband. But that's because they have a lot more invested. Naturally since they are investing more then it's only natural for them to expect a bigger return on their investment.
 mysterywoman999
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 50
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 7/16/2011 7:57:36 PM

Most women go in I think seeking the fairy tale they imagined all their lives.


Well, if the fairy tale is that my man always care about pleasing me , then count me in. After our first date, my ex noticed that I liked 7UP. The first time I went over to his place, he had a chilled case of 7UP in the fridge. I am not real hard to please, but little gestures like that go a long way to letting your partner know you are thinking of him/her. When he stopped doing some little things for me, and stopped either noticing or appreciating things I did for him, I believe I noticed and took that to heart a lot more than he did. I don't say that is always a male/female thing, but maybe?
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