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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they      Home login  
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 Eddie1962150
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 125
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I didn't read all the reply's either. But strictly going by what I have seen here on POF, Women in general seem to expect way to much. They have their sights set so high no man will ever reach it. No man will ever be the "right" one. From what I have seen and read, It's like they find fault in everything. To me it's like most of them are un-happy right at the start. Some of them carry so much baggage from past relationships that they are so sour with men in general that they find none ever that stand up to their "yard stick". Some don't seem to realize that men are just men. We are really simple creatures. Show us some love and we are happy. To a lot of men it doesn't matter where they are in there lives as long as they have the love of their lives right beside them.

But women in general, They seem to always want that brass ring. They are constantly reaching for it. Men in general, They are content right where they are. That's where I see a lot of men and women having problems. Men in general are content with where they are, But the woman isn't. She always seems to want more. They start butting heads. The next thing you know, One or the other walks.

I believe that is one of the reasons why so many men stay single. They already have been married. It didn't work for what ever reason. They have gone through several girlfriends and had problems with them. So, They say to themselves, He11 with it. I'll stay alone. It's better than putting up with one woman after the other that can't come down out of the clouds.

It's what I have seen. It's the main reason I'm still single after 11 years of being divorced. I was married to one who kept her head up in the clouds and couldn't live a realistic life. SEVERAL, girlfriends later and nothing has changed. I doubt I will ever remarry. I'll stay alone before I will put up with another woman who expects way to much and can't come down to earth.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 126
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 11:48:10 AM
I don't think you can make blanket statments like this or that women always want the brass ring and men are content.
If a woman is unhappy and a man is content he is not paying attention.
While a person can totally love their partner and be totally happy they still may want a few things that they don't have. What is wrong with this??????????
Why not ask for what you need?
Are you not allowed to ask for anything after you become married?
Is taking the marriage vows that day the be all and end all?
When I swear to something before God I try my best to keep my promise, because I am a promise keeper.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 127
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History
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 12:19:33 PM

But strictly going by what I have seen here on POF, Women in general seem to expect way to much. ..... From what I have seen and read, It's like they find fault in everything. To me it's like most of them are un-happy right at the start. Some of them carry so much baggage from past relationships that they are so sour with men in general that they find none ever that stand up to their "yard stick".

So, a couple of weeks ago, I took a look at the first five pages of topics in the relationships forum; in those first five pages I found 7 topic titles which made a negative sweeping generalization about women, kinda like this topic title. I found only one where the topic title made a negative and sweeping generalization about men. As you may guess, the female-negative topics had male OPs, and the male-negative topic had a female OP. It's also been my experience that the men are more likely to make unqualified negative statements about "females" and women who are more likely to make qualified negative statements about "some" or "certain" men.

So, say again how WOMEN are the complainers?

Now, on the positive side, most of the topic titles didn't point fingers at perceived gender-faults, many posts by men and women acknowledge that negative traits found in one pereson are not gender-wide - and that's how I find most people, male or female: reasonable and realistic.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 128
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 2:34:25 PM

So, a couple of weeks ago, I took a look at the first five pages of topics in the relationships forum; in those first five pages I found 7 topic titles which made a negative sweeping generalization about women, kinda like this topic title.


Indeed. If "nice guy" threads were still allowed, that number would be way higher.

To be fair (or not however you see it), since men seem to "need" or seek out women more than the other way around, that would explain it. Har!
 hippyera
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 129
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 8:44:22 PM
A FACT:
Women matures much faster than men..Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate..We need stability in a relationship, if man not providing the needs . Don't expect much in return..
Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship. A relationship is suppose to be 50/50. Can you name 3 you know that are??
TIP: As women get older (like men) we tolerate less n less in relationships because we have had years of knowing what we will/will not tolerate in a man...
Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 130
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 8:59:09 PM

A FACT:
Women matures much faster than men..Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate..We need stability in a relationship, if man not providing the needs . Don't expect much in return..
Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship. A relationship is suppose to be 50/50. Can you name 3 you know that are??
TIP: As women get older (like men) we tolerate less n less in relationships because we have had years of knowing what we will/will not tolerate in a man...
Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners...


Well now the secrets of relationships are now reviled........It is always the men that are at fault.

And some ask me why I list I am NOT looking for a relationship on my profile.

Thanks for the offer to plan our futures, I for one will pass on that. I'm having way to much fun on my own and was able to plan a much better future for myself after my divorce.
Some red flags are easy to spot.
 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 131
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/16/2011 10:34:20 PM

......It is always the men that are at fault.


Wow same old same old very old .... meyawn too! 67 times now.. .

btw ...Thanks Valencia for answering my question in post #156 ... very interesting!
 Eddie1962150
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 132
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:27:03 AM

Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship.


You hit that nail right on the head. Thank you for proving me right. The great majority of women today, There expectations are so high no man will reach them. What ever happened to loving someone for who and what they are instead of what you expect? You shouldn't go into any relationship expecting anything but love of each other. If you expect anything else you are in for a let down. And no, A relationship is not supposed to be 50/50. It's supposed to be 100% of both. Both willing to put the other "FIRST" That's the real problem on both sides. Most can't think about no one but themselves and what they want.


if man not providing the needs


Needs? What needs? The great majority of women now say "They don't need a man, They just want one" OK, If that be the case we shouldn't have to provide for any of your needs except for maybe sexual. I mean, You can take care of yourself can't you? You have a job. What do you need us for stability for? What do you need us for except sexual needs. But when you get right down to it, You don't really need us for that. You got BOB for that. So why should we provide anything? You don't need us. We are no better than a dog to most women. "I don't need a man, I just want one." I don't need that poodle, I just want it.


Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners...


I wouldn't say that. I have seen many men screwed up for life by women whose plan didn't work.

 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 133
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History
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:43:02 AM
I would say this is equal. Men want things, women do not want to do. Women want something men have not learn to do.
 Eddie1962150
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 134
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:50:54 AM

Valenciacity that is a very interesting post and experience you describe.
I too have dated internationally and have some opinions and preferences of my own, which I will abstain from posting at this time.

My question is: why do you think Russian and Ukrainian women would choose American men? Are their not enough in their countries? Why would someone marry a stranger knowing that cultural differences, language, styles of communication etc. could be a recipe for disaster?

I'm very curious about this.


I can't speak about Russian or Ukrainian women. But I can speak for China. I have been there. Stayed there for 6 months. I have been wanting to go back ever since. It's a hard thing to explain. All I can say is the women there are way different from American women. They have this way about them that American women have seemed to have lost or never had. I dated a few women while I was there. They remind me of how my parents say they were raised. The Chinese women hold there men in high regard. To them they do not care what a man has or doesn't have. They just want the man to love them. These women do not require a lot to make them happy. If they know that the man in there lives loves them, That's all they need. As long as they have the love of their man, Nothing else matters.

I have seen some of these women that will live with a man anywhere. They don't care. Love means more to them than "things". There is a lot more. All I can say, It's just way different. They expect nothing but a mans love.

The more I talk the more I miss it. I've wished many times while I was there I had been more serious about finding someone.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 135
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 4:16:59 AM
^^^I don't know where you get this idea. I have a friend who lives on the west coast and there are many asian women out there; in fact that is pretty much the type he dates. Believe me when I say that they are NO different than other women in the fact that they use him completely for his money and are princesses. And many of the women he met have now gone back to China or Japan to live. They came here with the same outlook as you say American women have. Even the asian women he is friends with do not take out their wallet.

Six months only provides a rosy outlook. Much the same when I go somewhere on vacation and compare the men. Even in other provinces.

Now if you go into the poorer sections of any country, you are going to find the people different.

You can't use those comparisons and honestly, it would be better if all men like you did leave. We would not have to listen to the constant barrage of insults that american women are sub-par. When the truth is, some men AND women are sub-par and maybe some people continue to date sub-par, not realizing it is themselves that need to change or look more deeply into themselves.

There are plenty more traditional and women who were raised to think of other people. Men are often not interested in that type.

It's the same old story and it will NEVER change. For both men and women.

We need to let go of "how our parents were raised" and move on. Things are different and most men have not adapted well to the changes. Heck, even some women are not crazy about it.

Making your life about finding a partner seems to make many of you miserable.
 Truth09
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 136
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 4:27:03 AM

FACT:
Women matures much faster than men..Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate..We need stability in a relationship, if man not providing the needs . Don't expect much in return..
Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship. A relationship is suppose to be 50/50. Can you name 3 you know that are??
TIP: As women get older (like men) we tolerate less n less in relationships because we have had years of knowing what we will/will not tolerate in a man...
Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners...


:facepalm:

There's so much fail in this heaping post of dog shit that Il just quote it all at once instead of picking apart every little bit of nonsense. First off,you sound like a cavewoman using a computer for the first time. Second, the whole "needs" line makes you sound like a golf digger. And last, what do YOU have to offer in a relationship. All that you talk about is filling a women "needs", what is your purpose in a relationship?
 honestbynature
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 137
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:59:54 AM
It is so important to work together to keep a relationship alive.....it takes 2 to have good sex and it takes 2 to have good fun.....it takes 2 to have a conversation......it takes 2 to do a lot of things. The key is it takes 2! I'm not saying that everything has to be done together but sometimes it's nice to know you're there for company or in spirit even if it's something that you don't really like to do. Women do this all the time and they rarely tell you....it's just how we are. If you open the door for a woman on your first date why have you stopped after 6 months or a year? It's not about getting comfortable with the relationship.....it's about keeping the fire burning, wanting to get home to call her or see him. Why does that part of the relationship end??????
Don't stop doing what you started doing to get into each others arms.
Way back the man was the provider financially and the woman was the homemaker.....the man wined and dined his wife because he wanted to give her a break and the woman wined and dined her husband every night at home because he worked hard all day........she kept the house clean, he kept the house paid....it's not rocket science! Our lives are not like that anymore so my point is do for each other as well as yourself.....everybody has become so damn selfish!
It's not an "EXPECTATION".....I love that word.....it's reality.....take a good look.....and choose to live life with a companion or alone.

Ah that feels better......thanks for listening....hahahaha

Newby to the forum world
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 138
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:10:47 AM

It is so important to work together to keep a relationship alive.....it takes 2 to have good sex and it takes 2 to have good fun.....it takes 2 to have a conversation......it takes 2 to do a lot of things. The key is it takes 2! I'm not saying that everything has to be done together but sometimes it's nice to know you're there for company or in spirit even if it's something that you don't really like to do. Women do this all the time and they rarely tell you....it's just how we are. If you open the door for a woman on your first date why have you stopped after 6 months or a year? It's not about getting comfortable with the relationship.....it's about keeping the fire burning, wanting to get home to call her or see him. Why does that part of the relationship end??????
Don't stop doing what you started doing to get into each others arms.
Way back the man was the provider financially and the woman was the homemaker.....the man wined and dined his wife because he wanted to give her a break and the woman wined and dined her husband every night at home because he worked hard all day........she kept the house clean, he kept the house paid....it's not rocket science! Our lives are not like that anymore so my point is do for each other as well as yourself.....everybody has become so damn selfish!
It's not an "EXPECTATION".....I love that word.....it's reality.....take a good look.....and choose to live life with a companion or alone.

Ah that feels better......thanks for listening....hahahaha
Very nice effort for a first post in the forums.


Newby to the forum world
welcome, looking forward to reading more from you.
 NewToTN9
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 139
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:39:23 AM

Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate..We need stability in a relationship, if man not providing the needs . Don't expect much in return.

True. I have dated a few women who knew what they wanted in a man. The interesting observation was that none of them could themselves live up to the loft requirements and attributes they placed on their mate, not even close.

Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship.

Just curious to why you think women are less happy in their relationship? They most certainly verbalize their discontent more, but does that mean that they are less happy than their male counterpart?

Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners.

I am not speaking for all men here, but I am pretty sure most men are perfectly capable of planning their own future.
 Eddie1962150
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 140
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 1:29:53 PM
@ hippyera

No, Not arrogant. Just the truth. Like a lot of others, You can't stand it. Don't write me telling me to pass you up. I would never have written you to start with. Remember, You wrote me. Kinda dumb on your part don't you think? To write someone telling them to pass you up when they never thought about writing you (Haven't written you) in the first place? It's a forum thing, Leave it a forum thing. Don't PM me just because you don't agree or can't stand the truth. One thing I do not need is another crazy person writing me. Don't PM me telling me I'm arrogant when you are full of shyt. If anything is arrogant it's PMing someone out of the blue just because you don't agree. Leave it a forum thing. By the way, Why me? I'm not the only one who jumped on that load of crap you said. OR, Did you PM them too?
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 141
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 2:29:21 PM

And last, what do YOU have to offer in a relationship. All that you talk about is filling a women "needs", what is your purpose in a relationship?


Gotta agree with this. Men and women have needs. I think accepting each other's needs (even if it's a "man thing") is important.

It's kinda like the whole name change thing when people get married. Many men still like their future wife to want to take his name. Women may not understand it, but really aren't there things that us women have thoughts on that we can't really explain, but want men to accept?

Plus the first sentence of that post cracked me up, but that's off topic.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 142
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History
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 3:18:53 PM

A FACT: Women matures much faster than men..Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate.


really?

can you provide a source for this "fact"??? an impartial study in a peer-reviewed journal.

i've known plenty of men who are "caring and responsible".
 cribplayer55
Joined: 5/5/2011
Msg: 143
Women are less happy than men in their marriage/long term relationships because they expected more.
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:53:40 PM
That is why the Divorce rate of married couples is very high, These women are way to picky and also thinks the man always wants sex, That is why most Marriages Fail!!

If females put males to the test then why when it comes down to the man wanting something from them, they shut you down like a can of beans, blast him away?

Sex is not a bad thing, if so then why do women have kids, if sex is such a B##$ to get?

I hear stories from all these girls that have been in relationships, that they tell me how come it' s all about me when it comes to sex, I'm like please it's not all about you it's on my end too and don't tell me you dont like it, cause your a lying sack of crap!!
 cribplayer55
Joined: 5/5/2011
Msg: 144
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:55:15 PM
I"m kind & caring and that hasn't go me DTF in years!!

My point EXactly , way to picky!!
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 145
Women are less happy than men in their marriage/long term relationships because they expected more.
Posted: 8/17/2011 11:17:36 PM

Sex is not a bad thing, if so then why do women have kids, if sex is such a B##$ to get?

I hear stories from all these girls that have been in relationships, that they tell me how come it' s all about me when it comes to sex, I'm like please it's not all about you it's on my end too and don't tell me you dont like it, cause your a lying sack of crap!!


There are people who don't find sex important and just want to mate. Some women actually go through life not having any good sexual encounters, some never experience an orgasm at the "hands" of a man. Most people are unable to discuss sex openly with their partner. It's a whole different kettle of fish coming on here and talking about it vs. sitting down with your partner, looking them in the eyes and being totally open, discussing fantasies etc. People are not taught to be open about sex. Society and our parents make it taboo; even though it is flaunted in front of us daily. It's a constant mixed message.

As for women liking sex? Only if it's good, if you have a partner who is not open to communication the same way you are, it will suck. If your partner doesn't view sex as important as you do, it will suck.

I've come to a point that I dump someone if the sexual chemistry is not there and they have the attitude that they are good enough and can't learn anything or cannot discuss it.

I've met far too many men who think they are good enough in bed, when in reality they are horrible lovers and do not know how to discuss sex and are frankly afraid to.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 146
Women are less happy than men in their marriage/long term relationships because they expected more.
Posted: 8/19/2011 9:31:22 AM

It's a constant mixed message.

Indeed it is.
But is't this topic about marriage/ltrs as a whole...not just about sex?

I think that there must be a fair number of PEOPLE of both genders who are less happy in their marriages, thus the 30%-48% (depending on which pack of lies-oops!I mean statistics!) you choose to believe, rate of divorce.
Since no specific stats are gathered,( insofar as I know) about the breakup of LTRs, I don't know as we can speculate. I have seen opinions ventured that there are some projections based on anecdotal information/ polls/surveys, indicating that the break-up rate of nonmarital LTRs is noticeably higher. Generally speaking, this would make sense,IMO.
But I do not think that we can boil down marital/relationship unhappiness to being just about sex. I do know it is cited as ONE of the top reasons...but perhaps sometimes unsatisfactory sex is simply a by-product of some other issue?
Cindy O
 boredintheboonies
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 147
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/19/2011 10:23:29 AM
Stereotypes. There is no such things as rule that applies to ALL women or ALL men. This is the kind of thinking the ends up causing people problems in relationships.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 148
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/20/2011 2:21:01 AM

A FACT:
Women matures much faster than men..Some never mature...women are nurturers and we are meant to be caring and responsible and know what we want,need, and will tolerate in a mate..We need stability in a relationship, if man not providing the needs . Don't expect much in return..
Women are less happier in relationships because men do not live up to a woman's expectations in the relationship. A relationship is suppose to be 50/50. Can you name 3 you know that are??
TIP: As women get older (like men) we tolerate less n less in relationships because we have had years of knowing what we will/will not tolerate in a man...
Ask a woman for advice we are great future planners...



^^^^^^HA!!! Bull^&*%! You've been Hippyera
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 149
Women are less happy in marriage/relationships than men because they expect much more?.
Posted: 8/20/2011 6:03:46 AM
I'm going to do something out of the norm and quote this positive post again:


Having high expectations is to norm, in most relationships when you are young ... But as you get older you learn that life isn't about expectations but about living and enjoying what life has to give you...
But if as you say...Men are simple creatures then women wouldn't be trying to read theirs minds so much...
65 % of relationship problems are due to communication.
Assuming, jumping to conclusions, flat not listing to what each other wants or needs.
I’m not talk just about women but this includes men too.


Enjoying what life has to give you.
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