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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Great date then............ nothing      Home login  
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 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 64
Great date then............ nothingPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"I never want to see you again. You know me too well on a first date and I dont feel comfortable."


Something a nutjob would say. A lot of those out there.
 julbev
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 65
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 7/22/2011 7:53:51 PM
Yes it is common!!! What the hell? Why can't people be honest??? Been there done that.
Don't understand and if you try to contact them to find out why they don't answer either. Childish!!!
 Bellflowerboy
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 66
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:18:25 PM
Sandy, I think that we all go through situations like these and unfortunately there is not just one singular answer. You could kill yourself trying to figure it out or you could look back on it as a learning experience. For instance, let me tell you that most guys (myself included) are just as unsure of themselves or the impression that they have made as women are. We walk away from a date wondering all the same things; did she have a good time? Will she want to see me again? Do I have spinach in my teeth, lol.

Here is a suggestion that might make that elusive second date a little less elusive; try texting the man the next morning, or even on his way home and let him know that you had a great time. It will let him know that he didn't screw up and that you are safe to approach again. Just because we are not teenagers anymore doesn't mean that this dating thing gets any easier.
 ilovetodance1234
Joined: 4/5/2011
Msg: 67
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:36:32 PM
I have had the same thing happen to me as did Sandy. Great conversations. Seem to hit it off, etc. then nothing. I try not to let it bother me but we are all human and rejection is painful. I am confused now though as some seem to be defining the first meeting as such "the first meet" and others as the "first date". I always offer to pay 1/2 of any cost involved as I don't consider it to be a "date" in the usual sense. And, I do always text or e-mail and thank them for a lovely first meet, etc. Thus, as it is just a "first meet", I am not expecting a kiss when we say good bye as I hope the guy will be respectful and save that for our first "real date". A peck on the cheek or a chaste kiss on the lips is ok but the tongue down ones throat is just not for me after the first meet. Maybe I am old fashioned but even if really, really attracted to a guy I would rather have a first date and get to know him better before anything more drastic.
 Sandy4779
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 68
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 7/26/2011 4:38:50 AM
I always have a meal at home before a first date. I assume the date would only be a drink of some sort. If a date suggests ordering food or another round, I always let him know it is up to him, that I had dinner at home, and that I'll just have a little. I hope he then understands that he will be paying for whatever he orders. Of course I would offer to share a bill or pay as we got to know eachother better.
On a first date, I like to see how a man handles himself. Is he picky or is he a man who knows how to treat a date.
I did email one of the non-responsive dates that evening thanking him.....no response.
I guess periodically this online dating thing gets frustrating and one starts to wonder if it is fun meeting strangers. I have never been on a blind date in my life until now.
I just discovered these boards and found alot of great stories and opinions. Thanks to all posters for their support!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 69
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 7/26/2011 5:19:29 AM

On a first date, I like to see how a man handles himself. Is he picky or is he a man who knows how to treat a date.

We're doing the same thing.

I guess periodically this online dating thing gets frustrating and one starts to wonder if it is fun meeting strangers.

It's not frustrating and it can be fun if you meet someone without expecting anything more than a continuation of the conversation you were having on the phone and through messages. If you look at every meeting that you don't meet Mr. Right as a failure, then you're going to be frustrated, cynical and bitter and failure will become a self-fullfilling prophecy. Ditto if you regard an hour spent with someone who isn't Mr. Right as a waste of time. Most people put more effort into watching tv than finding someone for a relationship.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 70
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 8/30/2011 2:52:25 PM

I am 51 and in "my day" woman looked desperate if they did the chasing.


Well you look extremely young for 51... I'm assuming those pics are at the very least within the last 10 years... many women don't age so well. If those are pics of you in your 30's then maybe that could be the problem, you weren't what your pics showed... that would be my first assumption although I could very well be wrong.


For me, it's all part of "the dance".


This is not the 50's

"the dance" as you put it I'm guessing is similar to what we now call, "playing games"

No one wants or has the time for people to play games in their dating life.

"Playing hard to get" gets you players willing to chase you around to get in your pants... a "Gentleman" will respect a woman that doesn't express obvious interest... they won't "harass" a lady unless he has seen clear signals you want to keep seeing him. Like... a text saying... "Hi! I had a great time. I'd like to go out again"

OR, you can sit here online trying one guy after another not realizing half of the ones you dated wanted to keep dating but didn't think you wanted to.

Times change, you either change with them or get left behind...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 71
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 8/30/2011 5:26:26 PM
^^^^ Do I hear an echo....YES I DO!


Thanks... I'm glad someone agrees with me on this....
 Plentyofnothinghere
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 72
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:05:03 PM

This is not the 50's

"the dance" as you put it I'm guessing is similar to what we now call, "playing games"

No one wants or has the time for people to play games in their dating life.

"Playing hard to get" gets you players willing to chase you around to get in your pants... a "Gentleman" will respect a woman that doesn't express obvious interest... they won't "harass" a lady unless he has seen clear signals you want to keep seeing him. Like... a text saying... "Hi! I had a great time. I'd like to go out again"

OR, you can sit here online trying one guy after another not realizing half of the ones you dated wanted to keep dating but didn't think you wanted to.

Times change, you either change with them or get left behind...


Amen to that!!!

This is exactly how I feel. Men need to know there is interest for us to keep pursuing. If a woman does not attempt to contact me to see how I am doing....I let her go. Confident men will not chase and know when to walk away. Players will do ANYTHING for the conquest of your loins.

If I seem to be taking all the initiative at contact.....good luck fishing. After all....this isn't the 50's and both sexes are equals, right?
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 73
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History
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:14:44 PM
morning face

lots of wisdom in that post!

kaylee
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 74
Great date then............ nothing
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:21:38 PM
OP- don't worry bout it...a lot can happen in a week...

hell I had a nice first meet with a gal and had a lot of laughs, lot in common , etc.

walked her to her car...

got a nice little kiss.

she kept saying "you're gonna call me right ? call me !!! call me !!""

I called her.

never answered.

never returned my call.


it happens.

who knows ?
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