Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 gunz058
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 32
view profile
History
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Good question. If she's already had sex before then withholding sex makes no sense unless she wants to make sure she isn't knocked up for her wedding cause condoms can break and birth control can fail.
 GypsyEyes50
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 33
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/20/2011 9:48:06 PM
OT ^^^ Gunz, as a nearly 30 y/o virgin (which you MUST be, right? Seeing as how you haven't been married yet? I mean, God help us, you'd not want to be "used goods" yourself, right?) ....anyway, I think you might be a tiny bit short on experience to be making comments on a sex and dating forum :) Honestly, what DO you have to bring to the table, beyond that you don't approve???? We already got that part....thanks! POF is most likely not the right fishing pond for you, btw....

OP....as has been overwhelmingly explained to you by now, a woman old enough to have sex should also be old enough to ensure the right protection is available, specially when the "festivities" take place in her own bedroom. It means nothing more than that she was listening as a Scout and took the "Be Prepared" to heart!

And, I fully agree with the (very funny) comments made as to her "intentions" in asking for a massage, in her home, in her bedroom, on her bed...and having you get lotion from her "special" drawer....methinks the girl was hoping her condom count would be...hmmmm, at least only 14 by night's end!
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 34
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/20/2011 10:54:03 PM
If this Thread is for real,id advise the guy to NOT get married and run for the hills as fast as he can
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 35
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/20/2011 11:00:39 PM

I don't believe in divorce


Shall I assume you also believe in "till death do us part" ... so would murder be preferrable to divorce??
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 36
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/20/2011 11:15:08 PM

I mean you wouldn't believe how many girls I come across that say oh I was engaged so I had sex with them but then things didn't work out. Now they are used goods.


Only to those who consider women as objects or merchandise.



Its not so much of a religion thing but you don't know how many end up pregnant for their own wedding. Thats disgusting and often upsets the parents and people attending the wedding if the bride is pregnant.


People who will judge the bride in this manner should not be invited to attend. They don't care about the bride, if they feel their slate is cleaner than hers, and that's all they care about. Who wants a bunch of holier than thou people showing up at their wedding?
 808md
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 37
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/20/2011 11:51:48 PM
Now they are used goods


And a pregnant woman is
disgusting
when she is not married.


You think you are so morally superior but you are really just disgusting.
 GypsyEyes50
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 38
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 4:40:35 AM
oh...OP, oops I posted in the wrong thread up above :) That's what happens when posting late in the eve....

In your case, I'd say the best thing you can do in this situation is let your brother and his GF figure this matter out and stay out of it with your thoughts and opinions.
 gunz058
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 5:53:52 AM

Shall I assume you also believe in "till death do us part" ... so would murder be preferrable to divorce??


Thats the route I'd probably go...But thats all I want in life is to get married and make someone else the happiest person in the world or as close to it as possible. If I fail at that then hell I don't want to be here cause I've done most everything else I care to do on this earth.
 gunz058
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 41
view profile
History
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 5:57:49 AM

seuleforums- OT ^^^ Gunz, as a nearly 30 y/o virgin (which you MUST be, right? Seeing as how you haven't been married yet? I mean, God help us, you'd not want to be "used goods" yourself, right?) ....anyway, I think you might be a tiny bit short on experience to be making comments on a sex and dating forum :) Honestly, what DO you have to bring to the table, beyond that you don't approve???? We already got that part....thanks! POF is most likely not the right fishing pond for you, btw....


I actually came to this forum to try to see if there was an easier way for me to find a girl like I'm looking for. If you have any better ideas for me please let me know. If you point me in the direction of a religious site forget that. People go to church for all the wrong reasons now day. They go for a power trip or they go to pretend they are forgiven of their sins then go out and do them all over again. The church is almost the last place I'd go to look for a virgin. Oh and I don't want a girl with tattoos and she can't act like an amish!
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 42
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 6:17:30 AM
I'm not one to bash another persons religious beliefs, as long as nobody is being harmed, and animals aren't being tortured. Apparently this woman has no problem with oral, because nothing is being altered. The breaking of the hymen has a spiritual significance to her, and she is trying to preserve it for when they say I DO. Who am I or any of us, to contradict her in her value system and tell her she's wrong? I don't follow this belief system, but I respect it. I was brought up to respect beliefs that were different from mine.

This is the point I was trying to get across. Great job Yew, i just could not come up with the words. It is very well put. Being that this has to do with the breaking of the hymen gets the reasoning across as why she wants to wait for marriage. To go one step further how about if she was once married and this is her second time and says she wants to wait for marrige again where would religion play a part now. So the hymen factor would prove positive as a very legit reason to wait.


I note that the OP said the girl was "practicing" oral sex, not completion of it..sure would bring some blue balls into the equation..more like torture if you ask me..

This is true ping but it is possible that she could start oral and he could finish himself off or she could with her hand, unless they concider the finish a type of completion that would constitute not waiting till marrige. Then that would coupled together with the breaking of the hymen I guess be conciderd sex before marriage. It seems when religion comes into the picture things can get complex as well as what one defines as there beliefs.
 waxinglyrical
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 43
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 6:59:46 AM

He's beginning to think about going elsewhere, but just for sex.


As in?


Is he right or wrong to continue the relationship if he's thinking about sex with another woman more and more.


Is this like a specific woman or like a celebrity or something? Either way, it isn't something I place a value judgment on.


If he did it would it mean he is unfaithful and therefore not really in love?


If he fantasizes about another woman or makes use of the highlight reel? *I* believe neither -- that it's being unfaithful and shows he's not really in love. It doesn't really matter what I believe. I have no objections when it comes to sex outside of marriage or fantasizing about others. However, I realize that certain brands of belief (the very strict, dogmatic flavors) tend to frown upon such things.


[Is masturbating being unfaithful?]


That will be an emphatic "no." At least, not in my book. But again, what matters is the dynamics of their marriage.


Is she right to withhold knowing he wants it? She says its on religious grounds


In her eyes, yes. I don't "get" it (well, I do because I used to think the same way). Frankly, I find the precept to be outdated and puritanical nonsense.


but she does practice oral with him. Is this hypocritically of her.. is she bending the rules? It's obviously sexual but not intercourse..?


This is downright laughable. This reminds me of stories if teen girls (ahem, "good" Christian girls) who pledge their virginity to their father and Jesus while doing *everything* else except for vaginal penetration. How they rationalize and reconcile their activities with their dogmatic/fundie precept is beyond me.


Would he be wrong if he simply satisfied his need elsewhere? And if he does.. should he go with someone casually or should he go with a prostitute?


Uh, if this going "elsewhere" involves another person and they are not (obviously) in an open relationship, then yeah, that would not be a good move.

Perhaps he can invest in some good porn to hold him over for the next 6 months, assuming that isn't against the rules.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 44
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 7:20:17 AM
I don't believe in divorce...


Sooo, does that mean it doesn't exist? YIKES!!!!!! I'm still married???!!!!!


I actually came to this forum to try to see if there was an easier way for me to find a girl like I'm looking for. If you have any better ideas for me please let me know. If you point me in the direction of a religious site forget that. People go to church for all the wrong reasons now day. They go for a power trip or they go to pretend they are forgiven of their sins then go out and do them all over again. The church is almost the last place I'd go to look for a virgin. Oh and I don't want a girl with tattoos and she can't act like an amish!


Try 1-800-VIRGIN. I've never tried that, so if it doesn't work, since you've pretty much ruled out all the bipeds without feathers, better enlarge your search to quadrapeds. I mean, you've been on this peculiar hunt for the better part of three decades, no joy to speak of in all that time. Yeah, better expand those search criteria, or you're soon gonna be 0 for 31, and that's reeeeealllly bad.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 45
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 9:31:52 AM
Post #40


so would murder be preferrable to divorce??
....Thats the route I'd probably go...


You have got to be kidding me please tell me it ain't so.

Would your definition of used goods include a woman who had practiced every other type of sex but vaginal penetration?
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 46
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 9:34:08 AM
Gunz:
all I want in life is to get married and make someone else the happiest person in the world or as close to it as possible. If I fail at that then hell I don't want to be here cause I've done most everything else I care to do on this earth.
This sounds downright suicidal..

My suggestion is to not set yourself up for failure. Take that how you will.


The church is almost the last place I'd go to look for a virgin.
Are you a virgin.. ?
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 47
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 9:42:29 AM

Sex before marriage is wrong. I mean you wouldn't believe how many girls I come across that say oh I was engaged so I had sex with them but then things didn't work out. Now they are used goods. Its not so much of a religion thing but you don't know how many end up pregnant for their own wedding. Thats disgusting and often upsets the parents and people attending the wedding if the bride is pregnant. I mean if 2 people have waited this long to have sex whats a few more weeks or months when you have the rest of your lifes to have sex together?


Its this kind of thinking that gets us nowhere....
 distinct_purpose
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 48
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 10:04:56 AM

I don't believe in divorce


That's the same saying you don't believe in marriage, or being single?

Divorce is a state "I am divorced" or an act "I'm getting a divorce"

It is a fact period, your belief in it won't make a hill of beans of a difference if you get married and your wife decides to divorce you. You will be divorced whether you believe it or not.

 forumrum
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 49
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 10:54:53 AM
gunz

Dude really? Where did you get these freaky beliefs from? Seriously, I really want to know how someone gets so warped in their thinking.

Did your parents beat or abuse you? Some cult? Please tell.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 50
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 11:01:02 AM
"gunz" sounds like he will be the next Col. Russell Williams (google it if unfamiliar with story).

rigid thinking..Williams had this sense of superiority & "moral rightness". .. he was the product of one of Canada's "finest private high schools for boys", Upper Canada College.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 51
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 12:02:30 PM
^^ I'd never heard of that oddly enough, thanks for the info.

Quite a sight here:

http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/canada/Russell+Williams+trial+Warning+Evidence+photos/3690404/story.html
 gunz058
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 52
view profile
History
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 2:01:08 PM
I kind of expected the response I got. No one wants to admit they themselfs are a whore or in the case of the divorcies no moral values that they could withstand cheating on their partner or whatever reason it ended in a divorce. Thats why this country is going to hell in a heartbeat. So many single parent families often happening unplanned. No one has any morals now days. Sex is just done for fun now days with whoever...no one does it for love and if you really love the person then you should be married to them. And this kind of love is something that lasts forever til one is no longer living.

And yes I'm a virgin or I wouldn't be looking for someone else who is also.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 53
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 2:12:25 PM

And yes I'm a virgin or I wouldn't be looking for someone else who is also.


I don't see any problem with you looking for a virgin. But what happened to him without sin throwing the first stone? What sticks in my crow about you, is calling pregnant women who are unmarried, disgusting. What's YOUR big sin? Do you consider yourself disgusting for whatever you have done? Or have you always been perfect?
I would like to recommend the movie Les Miserables to you. It's all about self rightous sin sniffers like yourself.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 54
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 2:18:15 PM
Gunz: do you really think that your headline is going to attract that good girl you want? You think she will go, 'oh, I'm not used goods, oh yay!'.. ? Hopefully she thinks higher of herself than that.

I can appreciate that you know what you want and are not willing to settle for less, I think many of us feel the same in our own way. But is it really necessary to make moral judgments about others in doing so?

I mean a girl could have been a virgin saving herself for marriage, get married to a man who professed to have all the same beliefs as her, only to cheat and treat her horribly after. A few years, reduced self esteem and a couple of kids later.. what is she to do.. stay.. ? Of course not, that wouldn't be healthy for her OR the kids.

But I guess she would be 'used goods' and lacking in morals in your opinion as well.

That type of black and white thinking will only hurt you.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 56
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 3:08:20 PM

And yes I'm a virgin or I wouldn't be looking for someone else who is also.

If you find one, let us know and we'll have you both bronzed.
 insulate
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 58
view profile
History
HELP! -- Sex before Marriage: Right or Wrong?
Posted: 7/21/2011 3:59:45 PM
If I were her, I'd RUN, sounds like this guy doesn't have much self control.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >