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 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 78
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History
What do women want?Page 4 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

As for the lady who expressed that I should look in the mirror.. WTF ...are you his fiance?


yeah, i expected that...

no, i'm most certainly NOT his financee - and he and i have butted heads often enough over the years here that i can also tell you i'm not "white-knighting" for the guy (he doesn't need my help anyway).

but i'm wondering why you feel the need to say such disgusting things about a woman who isn't on these forums - like calling her a "victim" among other things.

you're coming off as mean-spirited and unkind yourself.
 ilovetodance1234
Joined: 4/5/2011
Msg: 79
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 12:20:29 PM
Good for you that you are not his fiance [if that is indeed true] . In MY opinion if he behaves towards his fiance as he does on the forums with such malice, bitterness, etc. then she certainly is a victim of his abuse. And yes, the type of opinions he is expressing with his malice is abuse and Yes that would make her a victim, disgusting, yes, it is disgusting to be anyones victim and worse yet for it to be accepted. Sorry you don't like what I had to say. We don't have to agree. K?

PS. Just wondering why you two feel that it is ok to bully others on the forums? We all are entitled to our opinions without being attacked with such malice.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 80
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 12:41:32 PM

If men stopped putting that vagina on a pedestal, men would realize that women really don't offer that much to a man's life.


Well, I've said it here before, and I'll say it again:

As men, we WANT women to be up on that pedestal...

.. it's WAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier to see up their skirts that way...

 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 81
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 1:13:43 PM

Sure, but maybe you're just meeting those who are desperate enough to bother meeting the female counterparts of the guys you talk about. Some guys just don't see the benefit of being in a relationship given how much they are expected to give up. Believe it or not, the choices of women your age and mine is not anywhere near as wonderful as you seem to think....

So I am meeting unhappy men (my counterpart) who are desperate enough to bother meeting me?

First of all my post says " I would like to see happier men my age"... did not say "I meet". In other words the men around me: at parties, at work, friends of friends, at the store, etc...
The ones on pof I don't even meet, I can see it in their photos and read it in their profiles.

Some guys just don't see the benefit of being in a relationship given how much they are expected to give up.

^^^This is a perfect example of the "inflexibility and being stuck " attitude I was talking about earlier. There is not an inkling of looking at the endless possibilities: "I am missing something I need to learn? Did I understand correctly? Perhaps I can communicate better. Maybe things are changing...maybe I am just making assumptions" the questions could be endless for the one who chooses to be sincere in their quest, be an active participant, take responsibility for himself/herself.
Your statement implies "what's in it for me", "I am not willing to give up anything" and then there is the word 'expect' ... "I am not willing to work with you".

Funny how in a handful of similar threads, the conversation is grossly steered every time to the "how much", and usually it becomes about $$. I look for quality not quantity.
You assume I think the choices of women my age are wonderful... I never said that... you assume, just like you've assumed a lot of stuff.

The title of this thread is [u]What do women want[/u].
I've noticed that, as the posts came (myself I did give a simple, amusing and truthful answer at the beginning of this thread) ... all the answers get twisted into "What we men are not giving you" ... Two different things! The latter reeks of confrontation and opens the door to "I am right/you are wrong". Most every thing I posted got twisted as such.
My objective was to be helpful, yours is to blame, and make yourself a victim, CB.
I made the mistake of presuming you really wanted to know what women wanted. Now I get that you just want to absolve yourself of responsibility so that you don't have to change anything, give anything, do anything... just "bang away", like you tell your sons.
It is fine that you don't want to buy the cow, at least pay for the milk no? Why are you entitled to get such service for free? There are women who provide the very service.

I see an old little boy, stuck in his ways, who is selfish, falling apart, crusty, and not growing, not even wanting to grow!


.. which is the exact reason most men would prefer to date younger women.

A MALE friend our age said once to me that the reason men prefer younger women is because they are naive and put up with all the bs. Older women are wiser and don't, they see through it.
Quite sad actually, that a young woman would put up with all the bs for a few bucks.

If you really want to know what women want, in general ... read post #68, WhitePanda sums it up pretty well. Meanwhile I am done talking to the deaf.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 82
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:04:03 PM


Some guys just don't see the benefit of being in a relationship given how much they are expected to give up.


^^^This is a perfect example of the "inflexibility and being stuck " attitude I was talking about earlier. ....Your statement implies "what's in it for me", "I am not willing to give up anything" and then there is the word 'expect' ... "I am not willing to work with you".


Well, read into what I said what you will, but I'm thinking there's a bit o' the ol' Pot-Kettle-Black there.

Seems I recall a few posts from you stating that men need to go out of their way to do whatever they can to make sure their woman is happy. Should there not be some equitable consideration?

There is ALWAYS a price to pay for being in a relationship with someone. Sure, sometimes there is a positive pay-off, but from previous posts you seem to think that women are the only ones who put any effort into any sort of relationship, that only men benefit.

I just don't see it like that.


My objective was to be helpful, yours is to blame, and make yourself a victim, CB.


Well, you go ahead and believe what you will, but I am not, nor have I EVER been a victim. I have ALWAYS owned my part and always will. I'm kinda big on personal responsibility.


I made the mistake of presuming you really wanted to know what women wanted.


I have a pretty good idea about this and did long before this thread appeared. I really don't think what women want is much different than what men want, and, just as with men, I think what women want changes with age. I think that the that problems and differences in expectations and willingness to work with a partner is where the problems arise.

And, contrary to what you seem to believe, it's not always guys who are at fault.


It is fine that you don't want to buy the cow, at least pay for the milk no? Why are you entitled to get such service for free?


I feel no such entitlement, though I find it interesting that you seem to be referring to sex as a commodity. Too many women see it that way in relationships as well.


I see an old little boy, stuck in his ways, who is selfish, falling apart, crusty, and not growing, not even wanting to grow!


See what you will, I really don't care. I find it disappointing, though, that you'd use the stupid belittling tactics so many women love to use when they have nothing else to offer.

.... coulda sworn you'd be smarter than that. :shrug:


A MALE friend our age said once to me that the reason men prefer younger women is because they are naive and put up with all the bs.


Well, I'm sure your male friend was being PC as hell. The reason most of us prefer younger women is because they're fun, not nearly as jaded and bitter as many of their older sistas, and when you unwrap them, they look reeeeaaaaaaly good....


Meanwhile I am done talking to the deaf.


Me too.

Cheers.

 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 83
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:11:16 PM
It is usually successful when both parties want the same thing. When two people in a relationship start wanting different things, that relationship is weakened or fails due to incompatible desires. Finding a woman who wants the same general things in life as you is the challenge. Women for the most part want what society tells them is important. That makes it difficult to overcome when what women think they want is both unrealistic, and unreasonable. Delusional thinking is rampant in the dating community, and both genders have issues that grow from that seed.

Perhaps OP you should be looking at this differently.

Say what you want. Hope a woman sees it that might find it interesting. If not then do not be discouraged by the lack of compatible women. That is real life, not just online life.

You could of course leave out parts of your life and wants that you know women are so prejudicial about, but even that eventually will surface, and she will consider that justification to dump you.

50% of women will hate you no matter what you say or do. Those sorts cannot be pleased and you should not bother. They are total write offs as people.

But 50% have at least some common interests. If you can find one that is not stuffy, judgmental, and actually wants a "real" male companion, then you might find happiness or more. Stick to the ones that are human, and avoid the bytchs completely. You want happiness for both of you, not happiness just for her. Women that want the same balance are out there. It is just a matter of chancing the minefield and knowing where to not step.


Something is happening that is causing a divide between men and women.
Women are evolving and men are stuck.


Female culture is changing for the worse, not the better. That is hardly evolution.

What men want and feel comfortable with has not changed much, and does not need to.

What women want is becoming Schizophrenic and is based on totally media driven or delusional thinking. Women of course do not see it that way. Some Women also do not see why they are depressed so often, when most often there is no need for it. Having a society full of unhappy and dissatisfied people (women being more vulnerable to this) is good for business. That is why the female media caters to perpetuating that kind of thinking. They also like to make women think this is somehow "evolution".

The ones with intellect are more self-aware. Stick to them if you can. The ones with more empathy then logic are also good choices, but they are easily led astray by social peer pressures into the same deluded choices and thoughts.
 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 84
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:27:23 PM
@Mortalez:


It's not that we are stuck, we just don't see it as evolution, evolution is progress, for something to be viewed as progress it has to be an improvement over what came before it, the way people view relationships is not and improvment, it does not feel as good, not as enjoyable and it leaves many feeling they serve no purpose.

Exactly! So if you are not happy about your romantic situation then you need answers.
As I said, you are creative, so ask the right questions! Just don't give up and pleeeez ! don't get crusty and stale.


Is this why with few exceptions its men who throughout history have been the ones who question authority? band together and over throw oppressive governments? There is a reason the usa is not part of the British empire...

Yes, yes, it also happened in Mexico, Peru, Argentina, etc etc. etc...
The concept of war is not new but now outdated. If we must be liberated it must be from this mentality of war: if we don't like or agree or even understand our neighbor then they must be the enemy and we need to fight them to the death.
UNfortunately this war concept has spilled to families as well and is thriving well in these forums as well as between the genders. Look at this thread for instance.
Can we not be open and tolerant? Could we perhaps open ourselves to understand at least what each other's needs are instead of attacking like a white cell a "foreign" entity?
Who knows, we might learn something from "them".

And if you look at even children it is boys that tend to be more rebellious, but again a system that works does not need to be changed, and the new system should be better not worse our 50% divorce rate today vs 10% in the 50's is evidence enough that it was not an improvement.

Rebelliousness works best when coupled with intelligence and compassion, not hatred and aggression.
Remember Gandhi, what he did and said ... "Be the change you want to see in the world".
Be rebellious then! And change yourself!


That's just it I never had a game, I would just be myself and I had good luck in the romantic arena.
My old pattern was, humour, honesty, creativity and just being as honourable as I could be. Are you saying those things are out of style? Well if they are not, it is clear that those traits are not enough.

Game, excuse my English ... maybe your 'style' would be a better choice.
Change does not necessarily mean ''throw everything away and start over".
For you IMO, the things you bring to the table are quite impressive.... I'd date you for that! Because those are my personal preferences.
Maybe you just have not met the one who is worthy of you Mortalez.
Perhaps you just need to add something to the formula. Go from Mortalez 1.o to Mortalez 1.1
What that is only you know for sure. Some ideas. Are you happy with your life... are you growing personally, learning new stuff and pursuing your dreams?
...'cause you may be a great guy but if you are not interesting ... There is something irresistible about individuals who are moving on. They feel like a breath of fresh air.


And tht is part of the problem, relationships are not supposed to be business like,

Yes, business like is actually good. What I mean is that long gone are the days for me, when I gave myself completely and/or fell for a stranger who couldn't care less about me, wanted to use me, or get something for nothing. I am worth something and want to be treated accordingly. It doesn't mean I am demanding or cold hearted, just more discriminating in my choices.
Surely if you are a father, it would be advice you'd give to your daughters no?


If killing spiders and being creative was enough I WOULD NOT BE HERE, if being faithful was enough, I WOULD NOT BE HERE, Oh and I don't settle either I refuse to be with someone who puts me at the bottom or even middle of her list, If I claim to be into somebody and I have romantic aspirations toward said female they are at the TOP of my list, anything less is a waste of time for both parties.

Oh! Now you are being business like! YESSS!


I enter into every relationship on a positive note, for of hope extreme happiness and hope, That only changes at the point inwhich I start to feel neglected, and that's the painful part of all of this, most people DO know how to behave in a relationship and most do(during the honeymoon stage), but usually only in the early stages then they start to fall back to their old life and try to squeeze their partner into it, leaving a partner feeling they are only getting the spare scrapes of their life. yes people can be heartless.

Yes, it's true...
I have to ask you, to ask yourself actually, if this need to be at the top of the list is not too excessive for you? I wonder, because of your Leo nature, if the best thing for you is to be with another Leo. They understand better than any other sign each other's needs to be leaders and the center of the universe.
It is not a bad thing... just has to be matched properly.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 85
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:04:39 PM
WOW, this thread made for some interesting reading!

"women are evolving and men are stuck"

Evolving? That's an interesting POV! What have they evolved to? One sided relationships where they dominate or where life is on their terms like "it's my way or the highway"?

"Think about it, if women have changed you'll have to change your game"

Funny, that's exactly what happened, in fact that's what half of these forums are filled with! When women believe they have all or the answers or worse yet, the only answers, men modify their behavior to fit the times. Hence so many guys go for the sex and not the relationship. That's how men have changed their game, if I get nothing, why should I give something!

Oy
 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 86
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:12:17 PM

Evolving? That's an interesting POV! What have they evolved to?

Notice the ING? I did not say evolved... we are not finished yet, we may never finish, none of us should.

But the following is next in the evolution:

Hence so many guys go for the sex and not the relationship. That's how men have changed their game, if I get nothing, why should I give something!

Trust me, that is going to change too.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 87
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:24:36 PM
"Trust me, that is going to change too."

I doubt that sincerely. First off the rules of dating are REALLY simple. Since your "evolving" started, women have the game locked, especially online. They play their silly games, I won't make first contact, pay for a date, or be honest. Women would rather set themselves on fire than, tell a guy the truth about what she's feeling or thinking. Further 70% of women won't make first contact on dating sites, they may make you a favorite, but that's all. Finally you'll see women pay for dates when pigs fly! That evolving they ain't!

Gee while we're at it, lets look at another of your statements.

"We become more business like"

I thought this was about "relationships" or dating. LOL! Yeah there are a slew of women on here doing the new version of dine and dash. They date 3 days a week, different guys Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Fill up on bread, soup and apps, then smush the food around on the main course and have it wrapped to go! Yeah I guess your right, business like.
 dminjb
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 88
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:26:32 PM
I have seen this topic done ad naseum on here, and it usually degenerates to the point it's at now, which is why my inital answer was tounge-in-cheek. People will put inflammatory comments on here just to get a rise out of others, then will sit back and watch the "pigtail hair pulling" and "boys are smelly" responses fly.

But still, it is amusing to read, and as for those who put geniune thought into their response, been there, done that and it's a bit like smacking your head into a wall, as the trolls will just take your statement and twist it thus causing another wave of dissent.

Anywhooooo...point being, "Don't feed the trolls"

Gotta run, trimming up so I can put my v-jay jay on a pedastal
 RazaMixta
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 89
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:27:31 PM
Just one more thing....

The title of this thread is WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?. I took it literally and thought women would answer the question.
Women have and are replying.
Men, instead of asking more questions to understand better, write bitter posts belittling women and blaming.

Guys: Start your own thread and title it something like "have fun and bang away", or "Hence so many guys go for the sex and not the relationship", or "I'm selfish and I'm sticking to it!" ...Or whatever you want, be creative!

Take your garbage out, pick a spot ... why here?
 WhitePanda
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 90
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:31:40 PM

Hence so many guys go for the sex and not the relationship. That's how men have changed their game, if I get nothing, why should I give something!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trust me, that is going to change too.


Change? Now that more and more women are having sex without being in a relationship. Not likely.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 91
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:42:44 PM
^^^^^^^^ Yep, indeed the GAME is changing. More and more men are refusing to play it. They are opting out, and heading overseas. The home team is at a severe and distinct disadvantage. The game has changed - its moved to a new field; and like all the outsourced jobs that have left the country, don't expect those positions to come back either.
I have been translating letters for the well monied, well optioned MicroSquishies for the last 15 years - my numbers are increasing every year, and since the shiatty economy where American women are divorcing for financial reasons, the foreign bride marriage success rate is closer to 80%.
If you have the want, need , and desire for a real love, never forget that America is four time zones of one hemisphere - you would be an idiot to think that it is the only game around.
Get on a plane, go travel - I am betting your life is never the same, I know MINE is much better outsourced.
Guys, your domestic market value is about nil - they don't want the nice guy; look at all the threads saying so - get out, opt out, leave - if you stay and play the game here = you get exactly what you deserve.
When the tide turns, they will change their minds, or go lesbian - in anycase what do you care- find YOUR happiness and quit worrying what American women think/want/do/don't do.
Or you could continue to do what you have always done, with similar results.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 92
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:45:09 PM
Oh my,(sniff sniff) my feelins is hurt!

Ok I'll answer the question shortly "What do women want?", before that let's take one last morsel shall we.

"I took it litterally and thought women would answer the question."

Well let's see, you've critiqued men on their profiles, war and a slew of other issues. I doubt that fits the bill. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

Jamie, the guy who asked the question, is stuck in that never never world, of not understanding the game of dating. Looking for an honest answer from the women he seeks to date. Jamie, give up the ghost, the ladies will NEVER come clean.

In their 20's women want a good time, with the hottest guy they can get. In their 30's with that mother of a biological clock ticking, their looking to latch onto that shlub, who will support their children. Of paramount importance is their "special day", you know, white gown and big party, then the kids, then the house and lifestyle, then if theres anything left you MAY get some.

Past 40 after the guy has paid out the gazoo, to support the kiddies and have her in the life she wishes to be accustomed to, she gets itchy and divorces the schmuck. Leaving him with attorney bills, alimony and a life of bologna, hamburger helper(without hamburger) and mac and cheese.

She cleans up her act and goes looking for the next mister right.

Look pal, unless you've got looks, a job like a lawyer, doctor or executive, your not gonna get with any of the top ladies on here. Time and again, it's been proven that a woman doing online dating wants only the top dogs, NOT the frankfurters.

Sorry, that's the unvarnished truth.
 dminjb
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 93
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:53:34 PM
@ valenciacityx - if all men thought like you than I could see becoming a lesbian as a viable dating option, thankfully though, you are not representive of all men.

Hey listen, after you get done sitting in your lazy boy recliner scratching your balls, try turning off NASCAR, suck down that last beer, put on a clean undershirt, change outta the underwear with the skid marks, and then, leave your cave, and join the real world....and no, I don't want to play the "pull my finger" game ...


just sayin ....
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 94
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:01:49 PM

Time and again, it's been proven that a woman doing online dating wants only the top dogs, NOT the frankfurters.

Sorry, that's the unvarnished truth.


that's a lie.

the statistics posted publicly by another large dating site show that 2/3 of all messages from men go to the "top dogs" among the women.

while the women overwhelmingly message the men in the middle of the pack and the male "top dogs" get about 10% of the message traffic.

from some random posts made here and there by Big Fish, it seems that those stats hold true on this site too.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 95
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:04:39 PM
dminib, how do you know those things about Valenciacityx..??
or do you just sterotype all men you disagree with ?

what women want ...is to be happy ..... whatever that entails
 dminjb
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 96
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:12:50 PM

Time and again, it's been proven that a woman doing online dating wants only the top dogs, NOT the frankfurters.

nahhhh...we don't want the frankfurters, kielbasa or bust



dminib, how do you know those things about Valenciacityx..??
or do you just sterotype all men you disagree with

was giving him an example of his own stereotyping of all women....think you haven't read my previous responses on this thread to pick-up on that, methinks maybe you need to ask him why he stereotypes all women.

Besides, "he started it, nah nah nah "
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 97
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:19:40 PM
Oooh! Feisty I like that in a woman.

"that's a lie."

Hmmm, maybe you are correct, I guess public appeal, advertising and holding out a carrot to the down trodden wouldn't have a thing to do with it! Or for that matter their profit margins, this would be a much smaller business without joe or jane average on board.

Let's see, I guess where I'll go with this, is one of my former statements "women never message a man first", now while it may not be scientific, there are several threads to peruse that if you count up all the women posting, says they don't message a man first, by as much as 70%. Or the thread that a while ago was over 110 pages of guys lamenting their unanswered emails.

Now aside from that, how many other threads covering these subjects have been delisted as redundant? While that anecdotal information, may not have the numbers that big fish or that other site "say they have", it certainly points to a descrepancy somewhere.

As for men emailing the hottest women, I don't doubt it. Aside from the true statement that men are visual, it also is a case of many not seeing their own flaws or, in plain english "what the traffic will bear" in the looks department. Some approach this as nothing ventured, nothing gained, others are clearly delusional.

Whatever the case, the bottom line is women wait to be contacted and don't initiate contact. Women may not want to date the 20 odd guys who contact them. But try contacting 20 or more women and having none answer you, it can be a humbling experience that women never experience.
 dminjb
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 98
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:42:03 PM

Hmmm, maybe you are correct, I guess public appeal, advertising and holding out a carrot to the down trodden wouldn't have a thing to do with it! Or for that matter their profit margins, this would be a much smaller business without joe or jane average on board.


whom are you referring to re: public appeal, advertising, and profit margins? as for holding a carrot out to the down-trodden, bah..."let them eat cake"

Agree that men do most of the inital contact, which is why I had always made sure to take the time out to send a response even if I wasn't interested, unless however, the message was from someone with a profile name of "gotAbig14u" or "luv269", and worse yet, the ones who address you as "hey hot stuff, sexy mama, chicky" and tell you that you are "yummy" and they can "rock my world"....
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 99
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 5:12:22 PM
Oh my, I have stirred the ladies up!

First off let's take my newest, bestest pal dminjb. To answer your query, I am referring to all the dating sites, POF, match.com, zoosk, and on and on. I love the little ads, they always show a woman who is gorgeous! Or better still, a group of women who are as hot as he11! As though the recently divorced couch potatoe could hook up with any of them! Hahahaha! That's called advertising although the phrase "truth in advertising" seems lost on them!

But to make a profit, they need their $20 every month from joe couch potatoe too. Promising a product, they can NEVER deliver seems wrong somehow. But hey, a dollar and a dream, works for them. To get those advertising dollars back, they put these little ads on, but membership fees, butters the biscuit.

Oh and your the perfect subject for this discussion. With those baby blues, blonde hair and cute smile, I can tell your inbox is never empty! Hahahaha! That's the ticket though, guys in your area see that and lose their minds. They may not have anything to offer that you want, but it won't stop their trying!

Finally to you and cathysaint I think it was. Yeah crass messages go with the territory, sorry some guys are all about the sex and nothing else. They'll either put it in their name, send a "hey baby" message or shotgun 200 emails hoping someone will bite. Being here doesn't cost them a dime, why not try and make that approach work for them. Part of the system I'm afraid to say.

I never understand why these guys or the smooth talkers, get with women and get them into bed after 1 or 2 dates. You lay down with dogs, your gonna get up with fleas!

Congrats on being one of maybe 70 women who actually answer a real guys emails. So many guys take the time to read the profiles, craft a message, incorporating something from your profile, their own, just trying to start a conversation, only to get the dreaded read/delete or worse the unread/delete 95% of the time.
 oaklandish
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 100
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 5:20:56 PM
So after reading the 5 pages of back and forth I must say- I don't think many of the women fit the stereotypes that are being presented by the men. I have been on and off PoF for about 3 years we all have different criteria. I do message first, I have had letters ignored or deleted or been told politely no thanks- just means I picked wrong. Some times on paper it looks like you should be a perfect match but when you meet - even if you give it a second meet- it just isn't a click and you maturely go off and pick up where you left off. I have made a friend or two on here.

But I don't hold all men responsible for negative experiences nor do I group them and ask what do men want as I know they all want different things....like the one that told me he wasn't seeing anyone else and then the night before I was supposed to spend the night for the first time after what I thought was an appropriate number of dates, he admitted I was one of 5 and said he was recovering from a heart attack. I guess he was given the green light to have sex again and he just wanted the attention of many women...thankfully his conscience made him tell me before I would have stayed. Now compare him to a guy I have recently dating for a couple of months who likes me for a variety of reasons but that included being able to carrying on an intelligent conversation. But he suffers from depression and is having a difficult time right now. I know he is in treatment and don't doubt what he has told me. I am willing to hang in there but he is not wanting to or able to deal with a new relationship right now so we are trying to be friends and see what happens. So I guess that kills the notion of all women wanting perfect men.

I have dated men my height and men taller, black and white, bald and curly haired, professional and blue collar, thin, average and plus a few pounds. I support myself and am not looking for a sugar daddy. But as I said you can meet those criteria on paper but we may not be a match when we meet......taste is so hard to describe.

You really have to ask each woman what do they want...sometimes that even changes..and we find ourselves adapting or accepting things we may not have known we would have been willing to accept. But that's the fun of getting to know people.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 101
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 5:53:00 PM
(sigh) Awww Cathy, thanks for playing, but no cigar.

"not always sure if this is just a shotgun message that is sent to many, or a personal message"

How can you know if the message is personal or shotgun, if you UNread/delete it? If you read it, it refers to things in your profile their you go! When someone sends you a message, at least look at it BEFORE you delete it.

"The environment they are used to"

Gee, guess these individuals never heard of the golden rule, treat others as you want them to treat you. What kind of environment produces a person who can't be bothered to consider someone elses feelings? No it's just selfish, their all about themselves and anybody doesn't matter.

Thanks for playing though.

Now onto Oakland:

"I don't think many of the women fit the stereotypes that are being presented by the men"

Another gee! How do you know that? Dated many women from here lately? Do you really believe the women who behave as I said or any of the other guys, would REALLY post that behavior on this forum?

Your right, about some things, sometimes women are attracted to the stranger guys, ones less good looking, or have a blue collar job. But in point of fact, that rarely happens on here and as for you, you are another exception to the rule. Most women don't use POF to date, they use it as a screening tool, not to meet guys or interact with them. In fact quite the opposite, they use this place to eliminate guys they consider inferior or not worth their time.

Sorry if that bursts your bubble, but ask some of the other guys, if I ain't tellin it like it is.

My theory on dating is simple, I contact anywhere from 5 to 15 women in a month. I'm far more lucky than most. I average a better than 25% response rate. But I can read how some women, I'm attracted to are viral, so I avoid them like they had AIDS!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 102
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What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 6:44:16 PM
i think you're trying to deliberately obfuscate by suggesting that the quantity of messages sent by men outweighs the fact that they're only sending those messages to the top 20 to 30% "most beautiful".


try contacting 20 or more women and having none answer you, it can be a humbling experience that women never experience.


never?

i've never been one of those sit around and wait types - i've contacted hundreds of men here and have less than a 10% return rate. and a full 3% of that return email is of the "get lost fatty" type, which hardly counts at all.

that's not humbling... it's downright disheartening.
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