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 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 103
What do women want?Page 5 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

How can you know if the message is personal or shotgun, if you UNread/delete it?

Ever consider that the person checks your profile and sees something in it that makes you an automatic non-starter...maybe she wants to date younger- or older- men. Maybe she has made it a matter of policy to not date guys who are divorced, or guys with kids under 18. Maybe YOU think that being 100 miles away is not problem-but she doesn't agree. Maybe she doesn't like something you said in your profile. Maybe she thinks your pictures are fake. If you have no pictures, she may have a policy about not responding to pictureless members.

And as far as responding just to say "don't think we are a match"-do you KNOW how many men will use such a response as an excuse to start assaulting the sender via email/IM. It sometimes seems as if every "sore loser" male dater who ever heard of the Internet is on this site.
What do women want? Can't speak for anyone else, but for myself, qualification #1 is that he not be in need of an appointment with a proctologist-to find his head. If that condition is met, and a mutual interest/attraction seems possible-well we'll go from there. For myself, I'm not all het up about marrying again-or cohabiting-so there are some things I COULD be LESS concerned with-but oddly enough, it seems like it's the guys who appear to have housing, financial or transportation problems that are dead set on finding a woman without those problems, to live with...and they don't bring enough other positive traits and talents to the table to make them worth that risk.

As for just general thoughts-just because a woman admits her interest in dating/relationships/sex by posting a profile on a dating site doesn't mean that any guy within reasonable age and geographic location will do! There are matters of attraction, interest, expectation of compatibility and personal preference that women are allowed to have their druthers about-just the same as guys!
Cindy O
 ilovetodance1234
Joined: 4/5/2011
Msg: 104
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:03:33 PM
I am almost afraid to post anything for fear of being blasted with the nastiness. NOTE THIS IS HOW I FEEL NOT SAYING ANYONE ELSE FEELS THIS WAY. For me it is all personal and individual. It is whether we click with someone that matters. We click for many reasons. It is not all about looks or what can be provided to make our life better financially. Look I really fell hard for a guy who as soon as I walked into his arms (gotta be honest here we did know each other back in high school but never dated) I felt like I was home. I know it sounds corny and probably even stupid. But honestly as soon as I walked into his arms that is the thought that went through my head. Truthfully he didn't have a whole lot to offer financially, but that didn't matter. He had a myriad of health issues but that didn't matter. I don't have any health issues to deal with but his only made me care more deeply for him. He is a grumpy, surly, unhappy, negative man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders but that didn't matter because I knew the reasons he was this way and I felt good that I brought at least a little happiness into his life and he brought a whole lot of happiness into my life. Waking up to his face in the mornings made my day.He wasn't all bad, he sang songs for me, made me feel on top of the world when I was with him, we cooked some awesome meals together, shared a lot of heartfelt conversations, the list goes on. For some reason he just floated my boat. - At the same time, just before we started dating I had been friends with another guy who was interested in moving it into a dating thing - this guy had money, he was, too be honest better looking, he had no health issues, he was positive, caring, kind, all of the good things but I just didn't feel it for him. Don't know why.
 oaklandish
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 105
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History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:05:43 PM
"Another gee! How do you know that? Dated many women from here lately? Do you really believe the women who behave as I said or any of the other guys, would REALLY post that behavior on this forum?"

I do know women who are on dating sites, they are friends and I know what they are looking for and how they would react. Your snarky, sarcastic comments here and your profile would be enough to turn off all of my friends......I am sure you think you are being funny and cute...talking about trashing china in stores ...really? That's what you say to attract a woman?
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 106
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:50:18 PM
WOW guess I've been told off by the mob of angry women!

Let's see...I'm obfiscating...they may not find me interesting or too short, too tall, bald or hairy or live too far...another woman who dates a guy who has troubles...and finally when all else fails, let's attack the guy who doesn't agree with us women. Let's go into his profile and see what we can pick apart. Hahaha!! Whateva!

That about right bunky?

Frankly the most interesting thing I took away from this thread, is that despite the behaviors I have described in both men and women, you only chose to defend the sistahood at all costs, sad really. You glossed or bypassed what I said about men, fixated on the insults to women, that most of you wouldn't want to be caught dead with. Or maybe you do believe that such behavior from women towards men is warranted. That might be insightful.

In the end, I will do what I want, as will you. I appreciate your taking the time to let me raise your blood pressure. It shows the way women view men now, it shows me that any behavior by women will be tolerated by other women, because that's ok, it was just one of the girls, sticking it to another guy.

Have fun ladies, obviously you won this round. At least you all think so.
 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 107
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:51:57 PM
That's not really a reasonable question. Women are individuals: we all have our own preferences, beliefs, interests, values, etc, just as you men do.

When you meet a woman you like, you should specifically ask her those questions.

Good luck

Nutt
 dminjb
Joined: 5/17/2010
Msg: 108
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 8:30:29 PM
@oy vey,

Oh and your the perfect subject for this discussion. With those baby blues, blonde hair and cute smile, I can tell your inbox is never empty! Hahahaha! That's the ticket though, guys in your area see that and lose their minds. They may not have anything to offer that you want, but it won't stop their trying!


while I appreciate the compliment (I think?), my profile is hidden and has been for awhile. And trust me, as far as the ...


I never understand why these guys or the smooth talkers, get with women and get them into bed after 1 or 2 dates. You lay down with dogs, your gonna get up with fleas!


I don't want to speak for all women, but nobody has ever been a smooth enough talker to get me to do anything I do not want to do. You need to give women a little more credit for being able to size up someone's intentions and see through a line of b.s.

I think that it has to be more than 1 in 70 women who respond to messages. But while there are the men who do appreciate that even if you may not be interested that you took the time to answer, there are those who get nasty, so it's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Wasn't dating so much easier back in high school, if you liked someone you'd just stick a note in their locker or have your best friend tell their best friend, lol!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 109
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 9:10:58 PM
"Wasn't dating so much easier back in high school"

I'd agree with that. What I find disappointing is the lack of dating. At the time of high school(at least at my age), you met many people, by all means there were some clicks, jocks with great looking gals, geeks with geeks, although we called them something else back then I'm sure.

But people to me were more independent, except in that exalted world of football players or cheerleaders. The rest seemed more open to meeting anyone or everyone.

If someones interests were similar to yours, you spoke, maybe even dated if things clicked. Those with similar interests would date heavy guys, quiet guys whoever floated their boat. That's gone.

Now before you can date, you need to meet a checklist, than another checklist, then the "secret" checklist. So now you join POF, set some initial parameters(checklist) must have picture, be between this age and that, smoke or not, live within X miles, haven't messaged any one blah, blah blah.

After that you have to meet the personal requirements, be active or not, like country and western music, worship Jesus, own a motorcycle, walk the beaches endlessly holding hands, be an outdoorsman willing to camp, make campfires, fight bears(I know I'm being outlandish, but making a point).

Now once you have met those strictures in part 1 and 2. You must meet those "secret" parameters, you don't know exist. His or her secret desires to be a compatable date. You never know what they might be, or worse, what you might say or do that will eliminate you.

In part this was screwed up by both sexes. Men seeking sex only, but not being honest about it in their profile, or by trying to ambush women into a sexual encounter. This set in motion, a trend in online dating that would not get better. Women in order to avoid this, put up walls, more restrictions, so that not even prince charming himself would make the cut.

I used to enjoy breaking...(see your wrong O-dish) bread with a woman, just to have a pleasant evening. A couple of glasses of wine, a nice dinner and maybe a little dancing. A person of the opposite sex, who enjoyed say sailing, scuba diving or snorkeling could sit for 2 hours and talk. Maybe no second date would happen, maybe we would become friends, but a nice evening just the same.

That's gone the way of the do-do bird. Now if it doesn't lead to a relationship, or not the person with the right job, height, weight, hair-do, or any of the other things that really don't count, it's not worth meeting them. See, end of dating.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 110
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 9:43:25 PM

WOW guess I've been told off by the mob of angry women!

Told off?? Angry women? You rattle way too easy, pal. At the (unlikely) time that you actually make a woman (or women) here angry and get "told off"-you'll be in the ditch, looking for your doors, your ass, and your d*ck.


Have fun ladies, obviously you won this round. At least you all think so.

Actually, we know so. However, it's not about "winning" or "losing" "rounds".
Are some of the gentlemen posting here perhaps middle school children playing on the computer?

sticking it to another guy.


Oh my, is someone's nose out of joint?
Women may tolerate other women defending themselves, or speaking out against a guy who is acting like an out-of-control penis dragging a man behind it. In other threads I've seen women taking sides to defend-or attack someone,regardless of gender...more so than I see any MEN defending women( it does happen but not that often). I do see men disagreeing with/rebuking other men, but it's usually over the general subject matter/tone of their posts, not so much defending another individual poster. Usually it's another female poster who will speak up specifically in defense of another poster and that isn't always based on the gender of the poster she perceives to be unfairly attacked.


I appreciate your taking the time to let me raise your blood pressure.

See, there-right there!-that's your problem, you give yourself way too much credit.


Let's go into his profile and see what we can pick apart.

THAT goes with the territory. Don't want people going into your profile to "see what they can pick apart"? Stay out of the forums.


fixated on the insults to women, that most of you wouldn't want to be caught dead with.

Caught dead with which? The insults or the women?
What-are people only supposed to defend those that they want to f*ck? Funny, I don't see this thread filling up with MEN defending women posters-yeah yeah, I know," bros before "hoes"-that's OK but "sistahood" is not?
Oh, btw-the word is "obfuscate". Granted, perhaps it was a "typo"-but just in case it was a mis-spelling, I wouldn't want you to CONTINUE to appear uneducated.
See, I'm trying to help you!
Cindy O
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 111
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History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 9:47:31 PM

What do women want?
1. An awesome, skilled, lover.
2. Someone who is employed with a steady income.
3. Generosity, not only monetarily but in all aspects of life.
4. Kindness in spirit and humour.
5. Someone willing to share the workload of daily life.


Let's evaluate this for a minute.

#1 yes a good lover is a great thing, but here is the problem.
while the all women are different line tends to be so much bullsh!t, sex IS the one area in-which that statement is true, some trick, angle, position or technic that has one women screamin jesus may have the next girl yawning, While men usually only require moisture, friction and time, women often require blueprints, diagrams, flowcharts and a geiger counter. So often it takes time to learn all your sweetspots, But one thing to note, do to the fact that women are harder to get there than us men, maybe you should stop to think where those guys that CAN get you there right off the bat must have had alot of practice.

#2 this one is easy, its a shallow statement.

#3 So you only want guys who have it to spare. Saying "not only monetarily" makes it sound as if its a requirement. I cant speak for others, but I am the type that will give the shirt off my back to one I love, but I want a woman that appreciates those things not one who Expects those things. The only thing you should expect from your SO should be faithfulness, love, time and affection.

#4 This is the first honorable requirement on your list so far, and I find it interesting that is forth on you list, hell it should be first. Kinda sad when you think about it. And so many of you out there wonder why so many men are bitter, jaded and broken.
Imagine how you would feel if you were viewed by so many women as nothing more than a walking ATM.

#5 That is fair, but note, that's why many men prefer not to date women with younger children. often women bring MUCH more daily workload into the relationships.
Again I do try to help out when I am needed, and I do so often without being asked, but I dont want it to be EXPECTED, it should be appreciated.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 112
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 10:05:08 PM

That's not really a reasonable question. Women are individuals: we all have our own preferences, beliefs, interests, values, etc, just as you men do.
When you meet a woman you like, you should specifically ask her those questions.
Good luck


If that was true then every single person on the planet would be hooked up.
Being that a certain segment of the male population seems to have dates lines up every friday, while others are at home on their couch being bombarded with chatline and phonesex commercials.
If all women were truly different law of averages would work more in our favor.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 113
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 10:19:51 PM
Oh Cindy, you still got it! Always loved your posts.

Not worried about being told off, this ain't my first rodeo on this site, you should know that well, we've sparred many times, on many issues, sometimes on the same side, sometimes not. I've been told off by the best and worst these forums have to offer these last 6 years.

As for "nose out of joint" uh-uh, just sayin. I have the skin of a rhino, so no worries.

As for typo's, yeah they happen. So take care and enjoy, all the best.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 114
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 2:32:32 AM
reread my posts
I actually like women - just not the American variety.
Three years on the US dating scene has proven that we dont get along, have totally different priorities, educational backgrounds, cultural preferences, and a complete lack of agreement for a point of reference for what actually constitutes a conversation.
Every instance of the American girl, that I have met in the last three years, has been a stalled, fail to launch, go no where, meet and greet that floundered and flopped.
And so the one thing was common - was American women; Luckily, I speak a language and know that dating overseas is a totally different field.

I hate all horses too. Why, because all three of them that I have been around have bit me, or attempted to bite me. I don't need to be introduced to every horse to find the exception. Hate the Horse? Stay out of the barn. Extrapolate appropriately.

PS Havent had a TV in 2 years; havent watched NASCAR since 84, (nor any TV f'n sports for that matter) there is no Lazy Boy recliner in the house, it is more the REI show room than IKEA - I can pack and go in under an hour and disappear for months on end - and have, several times. The library is quite stocked - I am working through Bulgakov right now - the translation, with the allusions is quite entertaining.

Its a big wide world. If you are tired of the American game, get on a plane and go see for yourself. It helps if you have a language - but it is certainly not a requirement. It's Summer, do yourself a favor = vacation abroad.

this place will be the exact same when you return, I am betting you don't miss it - it certainly wont notice your absence.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 115
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 3:27:41 AM
RazaMixta said.....


Men, instead of asking more questions to understand better, write bitter posts belittling women and blaming.

Guys: Start your own thread and title it something like "have fun and bang away", or "Hence so many guys go for the sex and not the relationship", or "I'm selfish and I'm sticking to it!" ...Or whatever you want, be creative!

Raz,they already have!!!!
Take a look in the 'Relationships' category for a priceless Thread,"How Does a Man Benefit From Marriage?"
Last time i looked,it had got up to 40 pages and still going strong with the same 'ole Poster repeating himself ad nauseum.
A "great" read
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 116
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 3:40:12 AM
valenciacityx, if men are indeed going overseas, you had better learn the language of that woman you are dating from there, because, around here they are from the Philippines and the men don't know what their wives/girlfriends are saying about them. Well, most of them say they married the slob because 1. he has a lot of money to spend on her 2. does not know the language so I can call him names and tell him he is a jerk, and if I smile while I say it, he thinks I am paying him a compliment 3. I will have that child who will make sure I can stay here in the US (anchor baby) and then I can kick his a%% to the curb and go for someone much younger.

Do you want to go with the travel thing? I did travel to Europe quite a bit and the men there hold doors open, pay for dinner, give flowers and are so much more like gentlemen than here in the US. No, I prefer to live here and my job is here, before you go off on a diatribe.
You don't "go Lesbian" you are or you are not. Don't bring those sisters into this fray.
You sound so bitter and contemptuous that maybe you should just stay home and play hand ball.....by yourself. Don't forget the vaseline or lotion.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 117
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 5:05:53 AM
In MY opinion if he behaves towards his fiance as he does on the forums with such malice, bitterness, etc. then she certainly is a victim of his abuse.

Apparently, you think anyone who disagrees with you is abusive. On the other hand, I merely disagreed with you and did it point by point. In response, you posted personal attacks on me and my fiancee without ever addressing what I posted. If anyone is guilty of abuse, it would be you. I disagree with lots of people and lots of people disagree with me and for the most part, the disagreements are confined to our opinions, not personal attacks and baseless accusations. You seem to be unable to seperate those two things, which is your problem, not mine.

And yes, the type of opinions he is expressing with his malice is abuse and Yes that would make her a victim, disgusting, yes, it is disgusting to be anyones victim and worse yet for it to be accepted.

Your inability to accept criticism of what you say without trying turn that into abuse only makes it obvious that you can't defend what you say on its merits. You can characterize me any way you wish and you can insult my fiancee who isn't a forum participant and can't defend herself (although I think she'd feel like doing so was beneath her), and there's not much I can do about it. If you feel that gives you more credibility, go for it.

Sorry you don't like what I had to say.

So far, I already posted my response to what you had to say without you bothering to address it, so as far as that goes, I've already said what I had to say about it. As far as your personal attacks on me and my fiancee go, I can't say that I'm going to get all that worked up about it. Continue on if you wish. You are't going to cause me or my fiancee any grief.

PS. Just wondering why you two feel that it is ok to bully others on the forums? We all are entitled to our opinions without being attacked with such malice.

Responding to what you post and disagreeing with you is not bullying and your inability to respond to what I disagreed with doesn't constitute malice just because you had difficulty actually adressing the points I made and decided to call it bullying, abuse and malice for lack of an argument. You are entitled to an opinion, but you aren't entitled to having your opinion disagreed with.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 118
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 7:45:08 AM
I already know the language. 15 years with the military deployed as a linguist analyst, and an undergrad in language and culture - I do well over seas.
Way better than here.
Not bitter - just opted out of the American Game, I should have retired overseas when I got out of the military - honestly I don't know what I was thinking.
All the jobs are overseas anyways; and they are not coming back.
When men discover the worlds best kept secret - they wont be coming back to this market either.

so you can take the advice of the ladies here, and date down, settle for less than you want, and quit chasing what you think you deserve, be comfortable with the remainder 80% (of which fewer will have you)
or you can get on a plane and find out for yourself.
I figure if I help one guy a month to see the light - I have helped my brothers out quite well.
The Beattles had it right in the 60's - The Ukraine girls leave the West behind.

or you can continue to do what you have always done, with the same results.
I am betting on a fully transformative market dynamic trend shift - men are sick of settling, much less in a down ward direction.
PASSPORT -> VISA -> PLANE TICKET -> OPT OUT.

funny the only time I ever felt 'desperate' was attempting to date an American.
 Rancloff
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 119
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:02:27 AM
I think maybe you answered your own question. Women want a good looking man that they are physically attracted to.
You can match interests all day and if there's no attraction there it's not going to happen. This applies to both men and women.
I have messaged all kinds of women and never got a response in spite of having all our interests line up perfectly. Conversely, I have been messaged by many women who share my interests but they were simply not attractive to me.
I don't consider myself to be a handsome man. In fact I know that I am not. But about two years ago I started lifting weights and got myself in pretty good shape and it has made a big difference for me. Make no mistake, I am not a lady's man by any stretch of the imagination, but my dating prospects and positive responses have absolutely improved since I added a few pounds of muscle.
What I am saying is that most of us are not born looking like Brad Pitt. Fact of life. But if you are not a naturally handsome man you need to go the extra mile to bring something to the table (in regard to physical appearance).
I know it sounds shallow, but do whatever you can to look better. Look, if I could afford it I would get a nose job, and why not? I would feel better about my appearance which would only improve my confidence and more women would find me attractive. No doubt some people are going to say that's a very shallow and superficial attitude, but do you think I would care about any of that while I was at the beach rubbing oil on the girl of my dreams? Do what you can to look good and your prospects will improve. Looks aren't everything, but they certainly are important, don't fool yourself into believing otherwise.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 120
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:26:11 AM
Well another happy camper heard from!

From the tone of your post, I don't get why you wouldn't want a European man, after all we American guys "slobs", worth only a green card and bitter and contemptuous.

As for:

"I did travel to Europe quite a bit and the men there hold doors open, pay for dinner, give flowers and are so much more like gentlemen than here in the US."

WOW, just WOW! I guess I'm the last guy in America who holds doors open(by the way, I do it for both sexes). As for the "pay for dinner", thank you for making my point.

There are probably several thousand profiles here where women "say" their independent, well independent means to me, you can pay your own bills. But with all things dating, here we go again. Men must make the initial contact, ask for the date, plan the date, pay for the date, buy flowers and basically kiss your a.., according to this statement, what's independent about that?

So by extension, what women are saying is, we both work have jobs, in some cases women make more(not a great number I know), BUT the guy should spend his money and let you keep yours. Sounds great! Is that an extension of "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine"?

Now before boarding the high horse, I pay for dates, don't wish to twist her arm for a check. I used to give flowers, too many complaints, they don't want to carry them, or that's old fashioned or ...

As for European men, I have heard that while they may do all those things, they are also very chauvanistic, have mistresses and women should be seen and not heard. I doubt many women would stand for that long term in the good old USA.
 Rancloff
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 121
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:27:44 AM
Everything you say is true. I'm not saying looking good is the end of all your dating woes, or that you can go out and get a nose job and live happily ever after.
What I'm saying is that looking good helps you get your foot in the door. To one degree or the other we are all on here marketing ourselves to prospective mates. Why would you not want to put out as appealing a product as possible? Yes, you are going to meet shallow and superficial people, but sometimes you're not. The only way to find out is to get to know someone. Can't do that if they aren't interested enough to respond from the git go.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 122
view profile
History
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:34:20 AM
@valenciacityx
I understand what you mean, I have been divorced for going on 12 years and of all the women I have dated in that time I can only think of 4 women that I trusted 100%.

This trust was based on the fact that they were always available did not want to start out dating multiple people, always caring, did not put outside crap ahead of the relationship, did not hang around MALE friends, did not flirt with other guys(being too friendly) etc etc....

And its interesting that of those 4 good decent women only one of them was American,
the first one was indian(from india), the second was from panama, the third was from el Salvador, and the forth was A typical W.A.S.P born in Detroit raised in Toledo who I met on this site.

Looking back on it, the american in that small group of trust worthy females I feel I just got lucky and met her at the right time. I met her 3 weeks after her youngest son went off to college and one year after her divorce. She had 3 kids and was a super sports-mom, all her kids kept her super busy and she was involved in all their activities.
Her ex-husband was some rich bigshot who threw boat parties every other weekend so he got all their friends in the divorce. So all the time and energy that used to get put on her kids got transferred to me and I was loving it. it ended too soon because her job transferred her out of the state too early in our relationship. So there are good american women out there but yes the numbers as high.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 123
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 8:40:08 AM
As for European men, I have heard that while they may do all those things, they are also very chauvanistic, have mistresses and women should be seen and not heard. I doubt many women would stand for that long term in the good old USA


All that old fashioned stuff that you may find more commonly in other parts of the world may well go in hand with an old fashioned attitude towards what a womans place is in society. It seems to me that women in North America these days want the benefits that used to come with being the little woman who could not take care of herself as well as the benifits of being independant and being quite capable of taking care of herself. Maybe what women in the USA want is to have their cake and eat it too.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 124
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 9:26:40 AM

Being that a certain segment of the male population seems to have dates lines up every friday,

Well, instead of being on the forums b*tching about things, why not place ourself in juxtaposition to these date-competent men and see if there is something you need to learn?
Caveat...I am not suggesting that a man "get game","play games" or pretend to be someone that is 180 degrees from their true selves. Nor do I recommend the "pick-up artist" books-unless your only goal in dating is to have "a" date every Friday night, to get sexual gratification through the use of head games. Another thing that might be useful is to observe couples that you know have a strong marriage...yes, gender roles in marriage and family are undergoing a paradigm shift-but the core feelings are still the same.

Three years on the US dating scene has proven that we dont get along, have totally different priorities

Really? Are you sure that you just don't interest the women you "think" you "deserve"?

I hate all horses too. Why, because all three of them that I have been around have bit me, or attempted to bite me.

Having spent many years in the equine industry( trainer, instructor, competitor, mentor,buying,selling, brokering),this explains a lot. Even if they were very high-strung show or race horses-having every horse you've ever met try to bite you is revealing-and I am in complete agreement that you should stay away from them.

can pack and go in under an hour and disappear for months on end - and have, several times. The library is quite stocked - I am working through Bulgakov right now - the translation, with the allusions is quite entertaining.

Its a big wide world. If you are tired of the American game, get on a plane and go see for yourself. It helps if you have a language - but it is certainly not a requirement. It's Summer, do yourself a favor = vacation abroad.

Yet here you are, using these forums to try and jab at US and western culture women because they do't want you.
Actions speak louder than words-show us, don't tell us.

Raz,they already have!!!!
Take a look in the 'Relationships' category for a priceless Thread,"How Does a Man Benefit From Marriage?"
Last time i looked,it had got up to 40 pages and still going strong with the same 'ole Poster repeating himself ad nauseum.
A "great" read

No lie! And (shame on me!) I can't resist the temptation to keep rattling his cage...

Men must make the initial contact, ask for the date, plan the date, pay for the date, buy flowers and basically kiss your a.., according to this statement, what's independent about that?

It's absolute independence...women do not HAVE to "depend" on "getting with a man" to live their lives. But we still look for a man who is self-assured/confident( and that is WAAY different than domineering, blustering, bullying,c0cky or condescending),thoughtful,and reasonable. Paying for the date, flowers,etc are nice gestures if done for the right reasons,shows that a guys' heart is PROBABLY in the right place( trust me, I've seen those gestures used to set up a controlling or "you owe me" scenario).
Some of the courting/dating behaviors go way, way back to what could be the beginnings of civilization-and while I would not go so far as to call them irremedially "hard-wired" in womens' brains, I do think that there is such a long history of social conditioning as to make that NEARLY so.And back then, the dependence was actually the male seeking a female he could depend on to gestate, birth and nurture offspring, offspring that carried his genes.
Now that may not, IN the largest sense of the picture,be as vital as it was at the beginning of human history when it was imperative to produce more humans to insure that the species did not suffer extinction.But I think that the millenia of social conditioning is not going to change overnight.

BUT the guy should spend his money and let you keep yours. Sounds great! Is that an extension of "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine"?

I cannot claim that this is true for EVERY woman, but in many dating situations that develop into relationships,once the "courting dance" initial steps are dealt with( she allows him to "prove" he can "provide") the expenditure of money and effort often becomes more balanced. And we've all seen cases- go check out some of the "I'm a nice guy,but women want broke-ass abusive jerks!" threads, where it IS the woman doing the spending, the providing,etc. But there are also women out there raised by very traditional parents, or even parents that instilled an "entitlement princess" mindset. Because people now tend to be more mobile and have access to so much information about other schools of thought, the issues surrounding dating customs cannot be completely predicted across the board. There are many man who are offended or label a woman as a "feminazi" if she offers to go "dutch" on a date. There are men who dislike- or will take advantage to behave badly-when a woman asks HIM out.

So, there is no one answer to "what do women want"? I think we can outline some basics-a man that is pleasant to be around because his hygiene is good, a man who is kind, reasonable, regards women as equal beings on the planet-neither putting them up on pedastals, or trying to subjugate them. Most women look for a guy who can at least support himself. If she is a woman who believes that getting with a man is a legitimate and acceptable means of gaining an improved lifestyle, yes, she may put more interest in a man who has a greater abundance of money and material possessions, and the condtioning to believe that providing for a woman is how things are supposed to be. But some women will become uncomfortable if this "providership" feels like she's going to be designated as an item of property.

But I also think that maybe some of the new developments(relatively speaking) in meeting people, dating,etc have made people of both genders very impatient and easily confused/frustrated.
Thus we have threads like this.
Cindy O
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 125
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 9:52:00 AM

No lie! And (shame on me!) I can't resist the temptation to keep rattling his cage...


Ladyc4,you are absolutely one-of-a-kind and your Posts are SENSATIONAL.
Ive just come from that other Thread,hehehe........................:)
(Least you have a well developed sense of humour along with some great common sense).
Ok,back to our scheduled program.......................
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 126
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 9:58:26 AM
Cindy, you make some good points and observations, although some I would question. A law of pyshics is action=reaction. Based on that alone, many things are interpreted by both genders, in different ways with differing results. Cases in point:

After the changes from the 60's concerning sex, women were free to share their body with whom they chose. A paradigm shift took place, women had sex. Men correctly or incorrectly decided that meant "I will have sex with you once or twice, then move on".

That wasn't what women meant, but without communication, honest and open, it's what resulted.

As for the courting ritual, yeah I get the idea of procreation and keeping the species alive. If a woman wants total independence or even partial, it evokes a reaction, like it or not. I believe men viewed the change negatively at first, then decided independence=equality. If that's incorrect, than it's incumbent on the woman to make that clear.

Now as to the "rules of engagement between the sexes", there are none. More liberal men want women to split the cost of a date, not even to pay for the whole shabang. Many women's reaction to this as I cited, is horror. That somehow these men are inferior, because of that expectation.

As for abusive jerks, hey there are abusive jerks in both genders, men don't have a lock on that one. Anytime we shift the paradigm of dating, there will be fallout and unintended consequences. Nothing happens in a vacum. So when women strive for equality, it comes with strings like all changes.

just sayin...
 ilovetodance1234
Joined: 4/5/2011
Msg: 127
What do women want?
Posted: 7/25/2011 10:51:57 AM
abelian: for the love everything good. Go away. We don't agree with each other. Leave it alone. Stick to the forum and pick on someone else and get over yourself. K?
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