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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?      Home login  
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 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 126
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?Page 6 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
not sure..sugar daddy wannabes maybe? what is the term for women who are soo proud that they have breasts (making them unique among, oh about 3 billion other females on Earth) that they feel they must flaunt them and have them on display as much as possible, to attract attention?


GET use to it. WOMEN HAVE BOOBS. Had them since I was 13. I am not about to wear a nun's habit to MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE with the idea women have breast. Hate to tell you this but YOUR mother has them too. AND let me guess what BIG flick really means. Maybe I will change my name. BOOBS.

Thank you for reminding me why I will not even consider younger men women having breast is still very confusing to them.
 kkrueger23
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 127
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/29/2011 10:59:25 PM
"what is the term for women who are soo proud that they have breasts (making them unique among, oh about 3 billion other females on Earth) that they feel they must flaunt them and have them on display as much as possible, to attract attention?"


I don't know what that term is... why don't you ask the MEN who design our wardrobes about flaunting breasts and then you will get your answer lol.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 128
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/30/2011 12:20:52 AM


I might be picky, but in order to get a reply from me you need to invest many years in your mind, body, soul, and career. Being a nice guy is not enough. I know Americans like instant gratification. But dating success is based on years of working on yourself and not on ten minutes tweaking of your POF profile.


I sort of skimmed through this thread, and 70% of the posters labeled OP a gold digger/shallow person and other people like her.

Personally i don't think it's anything wrong with a list or lists of requirements. You want what you want. To me though the real "fun" starts when 1 year goes by, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years have past and you still have not got what you wanted. Are you going to "punk" out like 99.9% of people and start to remove pages/demands/ make compromises/ from your list as you start to "age" or are you going to put your life on the line and say "I'm willing to die alone, if I don't get what I want".

In the end, will the O.P and people like her live in solitude if they don't get everything on their list. They can't get mad and say hey "nobody" wants me, it's all on them.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 129
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/30/2011 4:33:58 AM
I nice T shirt should sum up the situation = it is the advertisement they are looking for anyways

( * Y * )
est. 1979

that should cover it.
 JeetKuneDo
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 130
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/30/2011 5:30:38 AM

GET use to it. WOMEN HAVE BOOBS. Had them since I was 13. I am not about to wear a nun's habit to MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE with the idea women have breast. Hate to tell you this but YOUR mother has them too. AND let me guess what BIG flick really means. Maybe I will change my name. BOOBS.


This means you don't respect yourself. You're doing what's popular. Most attractive women I have seen don't need to flaunt their boobs. This is the kind of women I can respect. Would you flaunt your boobs at work or at a family function?
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 131
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/30/2011 5:43:24 AM

I don't see anything on that list that is unattainable by the average person. She's not specifically asking that men earn six figures or be a certain height.

Thank you so much for saying it again.I have already said something similar but people seem bound and determined to insist that this list is full of unattainable things.The real truth of the matter is that every single thing on that list any one of us can do.


Most of the men and women I know fall into that list and none of us are exceptional,rich,wealthy or super smart like Bill Gates.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 132
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 7/30/2011 5:56:33 AM
YES I wear v neck shirts. WHY because I have a double chin and boat necks and turtle necks increase the size of it. GROW UP really. GROW UP.
 JeetKuneDo
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 133
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:04:55 PM

WHY because I have a double chin and boat necks and turtle necks increase the size of it. GROW UP really. GROW UP.


WTF, get real, how the heck can you hide your double chin? Maybe some weight loss will do you some good.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 134
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:08:40 PM

I don't know what that term is... why don't you ask the MEN who design our wardrobes about flaunting breasts and then you will get your answer lol.


Ahhh... you DO realize that the types of men who design women's clothes aren't exactly attracted to women in that way, right?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 135
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:16:08 PM

You have to be picky or else you're just wasting your time in the long run. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone they are not compatible with.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of people who are here are here because the people they keeping picking are not people with whom they are compatible. I'm a bit skeptical of people who throw the ``picky card,'' but never seem to find anyone who is compatible. If your picker is bad, being picky isn't a virtue.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 136
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:36:41 PM
Not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of people who are here are here because the people they keeping picking are not people with whom they are compatible. I'm a bit skeptical of people who throw the ``picky card,'' but never seem to find anyone who is compatible. If your picker is bad, being picky isn't a virtue


I think you can gage how self-important someone feels by how "picky" they are.

The problem is people are far too picky for the particular category / class / whatever label you want to assign they belong to. Swollen egos and inflated senses of self worth create this monster.

Even on this site.... you have men and women, who at their best - on their best day - are 5's... but so picky that nothing short of a 10 will do.

More so, these "picky people" are picky about the WRONG elements. They have absolutely no idea what they should be picky about. Instead of worrying about whether nor not they are compatible in the communication department, enjoy the same dreams for the future - they're picky about the other person's "teeth" "shoes" or any other item on their list of superficial requirements / deal breakers.

But, again - lest ye forget - this is a virtual world we are playing in. Where a 3 can make believe they're a perfect 10 and spend 20 years waiting for Brad Pitt to log in and email them.

When someone labels themselves as picky - I avoid them. They might as well just post on their profile "warning! I think very highly of myself, as such I expect YOU to either meet or conform to my standards and expectations - because I am VERY important and special."

Seriously, when someone tells you they are "picky" - you're best bet is avoid them. You're just asking for trouble.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 137
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:52:33 PM
Brad Pitt? Not all of is are waiting for him to e mail us. Vin Diesel? Now we are talking....

Not sure why people keep using Brad Pitt as who women want. The guy needs a tic tac and to grow a few inches. Just saying. :)

Not all of us want the " nice guy" ~ more like a guy who lives in reality. And that we are attracted to. Off line that is...on here it is a joke.

Hard to have a bad picker on the Internet. Until you meet someone in person, photos and profiles are what they are. It requires in person contact to see what the real deal is. Now if you see someone is tragic in person and continue to see them? Then yes, that is having a bad picker .

All you can do on here or the phone is hope you are dealing with honesty.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 138
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:03:45 PM
Brad Pitt? Not all of is are waiting for him to e mail us. Vin Diesel? Now we are talking....

Not sure why people keep using Brad Pitt as who women want. The guy needs a tic tac and to grow a few inches. Just saying. :)

Not all of us want the " nice guy" ~ more like a guy who lives in reality. And that we are attracted to. Off line that is...on here it is a joke.


I don't disagree with you. I think your point is valid and realistic.

The problem isn't with having standards, nor is it being particular with what you want. I've never said that (not saying you are implying that, I'm just making a point). The problem is that people are going overboard with their requirements. Just like the OP of this discussion.

Let's face it. Looks DO matter. But there is a difference in pursing someone you find attractive, to you, and ignoring or blowing off potential matches because they aren't "hot enough."

There's a difference between wanting someone who has more ambition in life than to flip burgers forever, and demanding he/she be a professional "with a career" where everyone at the office addresses them as "sir / maam."

This all ties nicely into the unrealistic expectations of the OP. That is being "picky" - too picky about the wrong things.

She cares more about how hot he is and how much he makes than she does anything else - her own words make that clear. She's picky - but picky over the wrong elements.

But, the OP isn't alone. This is how far, far too many people think these days. "Yeah he's nice and would treat me well, but how are his teeth?" "Yeah, she's really sweet and cute and would probably make a great girlfriend, but she's just not quite hot enough..."
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 139
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:13:01 PM
Cinsav I always "get you" and it is a fact all you say.

I think where people screw up is the expect too much on the internet. They see photos, and a profile. Maybe a well written one ~ then comes the meeting. Boom. Not what he or she expected. Not to mention, all the long drawn out e mails, and some people go so far as to feel they are in a relationship ( rolls eyes ) before even meeting.

Attraction is the key first, but IN PERSON not on here. I get these men who e mail me all sorts of crap. And the first thing I say back is " you need to meet a woman in person to be able to say the things you say". I do not lie about a damn thing in my profile and I have had men freak the hell out when they DO meet me because it is almost like " oh shit, she was not kidding about her stats". Now, sadly, I saw these same men and said " oh shit, he lied about his". Thank God for EXIT doors, no joke.

For me, even if ANY of these men were hot, sadly all of them lied about other things as well, and I would have told them see ya. Someone can be hot as hell, but once they start talking...it is amazing how ugly they become.

It is too difficult to try to change our ways ~ I know I cannot. And the people who do settle or choose someone ONLY because they are hot in their eyes and no other reason, get what they have coming to them.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 140
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:18:10 PM
Cinsav, I hear you but im confused by your post, one hand you say LOOKS do matter but in the next breath you say the OP is wrong for blowing off potential matches because they are not hot enough? it doesn't work that way, you're either attracted to someone or you're not.

Yeah Ive heard the stories about people growing on you and things like that, but that is so rare like a four leaf clover.

I don't care how nice and personable and she gives charities and rescues puppies from trees and wonderful Paris Hilton is, I would never be attracted to her, she couldn't give me chubby even If I was stuck on a Dessert Island for 7 years and there was no women around to look at.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, who are we to say someone expectation is unreal? and the professional person with a career, that could mean anything nowadays, I know hair dressers that are professionals and makes damn good money.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 141
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:22:06 PM
CDN, Paris needs to go to KFC. LOL


EDIT: Cdn I'd rather choke your chicken too....is there a bathroom in the one near you??? Bring the ruler...that sounds kinda hot....LOL
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 142
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:25:15 PM
LOL...Muscle stop that , or Im going to put you over my knee and spank you with a ruler , actually If I had two minutes and wet towel and I was in KFC with Paris, I would seriously consider asphyxiating her and putting her out of her misery, that half wit ...santa luciaaaaaaaaaaa

Muscle, Im telling you I rather choke my chicken before I would think of Paris LOL
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 143
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:26:57 PM
Cinsav, I hear you but im confused by your post, one hand you say LOOKS do matter but in the next breath you say the OP is wrong for blowing off potential matches because they are not hot enough? it doesn't work that way, you're either attracted to someone or you're not.

Yeah Ive heard the stories about people growing on you and things like that, but that is so rare like a four leaf clover.

I don't care how nice and personable and she gives charities and rescues puppies from trees and wonderful Paris Hilton is, I would never be attracted to her, she couldn't give me chubby even If I was stuck on a Dessert Island for 7 years and there was no women around to look at.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, who are we to say someone expectation is unreal? and the professional person with a career, that could mean anything nowadays, I know hair dressers that are professionals and makes damn good money.


I disagree with your first point. I personally know a lot of men and women who have blown off and turned down dates from people they actually thought were good looking - but weren't good looking enough. Well, I shouldn't say a lot - more than a few. One of them, a woman I actually went out with a couple of times, is exactly like this. Very high maintenance, thinks very highly of herself - hence why I want nothing to do with her romantically. Anyway, on more than one occasion I have been out with her when she has met someone - someone she thought was "really cute" - but she "deserved someone a little better looking." I'm not making this stuff up - I'm not that creative. So, I know people, from first hand experience who are like this. I think there are a lot of people out there who are like this. More than probably either you or I could imagine.

I agree with you on Paris Hilton - she reminds me of one of those dog breeds... the Afgan? Something like that.

I think the point I was trying to make that you were missing is that it is the tone of the OP and her profile that lead me to believe she wants money and position. I hear what you're saying about careers. I get it. But, I don't think that line of thinking is what the OP is defining in her requirements. I think while YOU see a career as someone who dresses hair - the OP sees "career" as someone with a big time income and a title.

We're not going to agree on this - and that's fine - other people reading this post might gain something from our discourse.
 djinite987
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 144
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:32:58 PM

The problem is people are far too picky for the particular category / class / whatever label you want to assign they belong to. Swollen egos and inflated senses of self worth create this monster.

I think there are some people like this who can't get a clue or learn to except the fact that they are not up to par with the type of person they want to be with.


She cares more about how hot he is and how much he makes than she does anything else - her own words make that clear. She's picky - but picky over the wrong elements.


This is how I feel everyone is like. They think too much about the outer and what others think then the type of person they are inside. The thing is if she can get away with it she can be picky all she wants because she is still getting what she wants. If she can't get what she wants she may be here 5 years from now.. but that her coice what she wants not anyone elses and no one can tell her what she can and can't think.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 145
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:41:47 PM

CDN, Paris needs to go to KFC. LOL

She should go to Popeye's and order the 12-piece special, with a choice of two sides, and salty biscuits. If she wanted to be daring, she could go to McDonald's for her dessert and order a McFlurry. lol
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 146
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:57:37 PM
Lolita!

Haven't "seen" you in forever! How have you been? Message me...

Yeah Paris is way way to skinny... bean poles need not apply.

That brings up a question for you women. You know men like the Jay-Lo thing... you know we like the Sharkira thing. So do you incessantly complain that you're size zero ass isn't a size negative 3?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 147
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 9:00:56 PM
Cinsav, Ive gone back and re read the OP profile and opening post and for the life of me I cannot see where some folks thinks she's a gold digger?I see a confident kid knowing what she wants, and believe im not trying to blow smoke up her ass and trying to date her or what ever.

Yeah Ive met women like that too, and majority of the times I Ignore them, not worth my time or energy.

And between Muscle and Lolita Im going to have nightmares about KFC and Pop eyes tonight santa luciaaaaaaaaaa.
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 148
view profile
History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/1/2011 10:00:40 PM
OP, you are right, nice is not enough. You are obviously a very intelligent, attractive and well educated woman who has worked very hard to reach the point in life that you are at. I am not saying that only a man with a advanced degree will make you happy, but I venture to say that he will be intelligent, articulate and driven in whatever field he is in. Did I mention that I have a 29 year old son that just graduated from Georgetown Law School....really I do?
 SleepyMcGee
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 149
view profile
History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/2/2011 2:38:51 AM
Completely agree with OP. So many guys here on the forum are whining about girls never giving them a chance when it's the whining that shows why they are having no success. They complain that because they aren't "Brad Pitt" in the looks department that no girl will give them the time of day...showing their complete lack of self esteem. Confidence and self-assuredness are one of the biggest turn-ons to any type of girl that I personally would be interested in.

No girl wants a self-conscious, introverted, loser. That might be what they end up with, but when a girl has her choice (ie. a dating site), certain things are going to appeal to them more.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 150
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:22:25 AM
^^

why is the 'need to offer more' addressed only to men? what about the women who constantly whine about their lack of success? do they offer all (or at least, most of) the things the OP has mentioned?

do most women still believe that if they show up AND have a vagina that's all they need to bring to the table?
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