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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 201
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?Page 9 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
mmmmmm...how come you quoted me and then went on a rant that
had nothing at all to do with what I said?

I didn't type out my "list", so how do you know what's on it or
what I expect?

 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 202
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 9:36:37 AM

On the upside...I learned a new word today. Pedastool.
As in, I need some more pedastools for my kitchen island.


a 'pedastool' sounds like something a pederast would have around .. :(
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 203
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 9:49:58 AM
I put in Plenty of time...but...
All I ever get back from very polite, notes of admiration are...:
"You're Too Far Away!"
...
...
If That much..!!
 mytime1974
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 204
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 1:17:15 PM
You are right, just being nice won't get you anywhere. But in my eyes a quality man is much more than just having a career vs a job, a great haircut, etc.... Because the most educated, well groomed, career driven guy could be a total****. So being all those qualities don't mean a thing if he isn't a great guy at the very core.

But I do think the basics should be met and that doesnt mean he has to make a certain income figure, have a certain type of house, car etc...

1. Job/Career
2. House.
3. car
4. License

Surprisingly, those four basics are hard to find...odd
 ronnie12398
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 205
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 2:48:53 PM
you are so true on this one, being nice will not pay your bills or get anything .
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 206
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 4:05:49 PM
Yes, being nice won't pay the bills. I wont argue that point. Now let's apply similar logic the other way. What happens when a guy says, "She's nice, but...". We all cringe because we know the weight issue is about to be brought up. Ladies, does it not hurt when a fella passes you up because maybe your butt's bigger than he thinks it should be? Guys feel the same when a gal passes on them because his bank account is smaller than she thinks it should be.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 207
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 4:21:20 PM
i don't know what some of u clown's are smoking but a pedastool is something that a guy put's a woman on all the time. this is how she develops "princess syndrome". but u's aren't going to find that in the dictionary now r u?

sheez, wake up. something a man should never do is put a woman on a pedastool.

and yeah they are used for kitchen's congratulations!! take much to think of that one?

and yeah i DO "GET" this whole topic, but clearly some of the other poster's who want to disagree don't. read between the freaking line's people!! or read more clearly all together.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 208
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 4:38:49 PM

i don't know what some of u clown's are smoking but a pedastool is something that a guy put's a woman on all the time. this is how she develops "princess syndrome".


in the majority of the English-speaking world it is "pedestal"

(what you are trying to say, I think)

sorry I don't speak or understand "Oz"
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 209
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History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 4:49:11 PM
pedastool


Uhhh the word is pedestal. While I am far from the worlds greatest speller, I rarely feel the need to call people out on theirs.

Edit: Rats someone beat me to it!


Yes, being nice won't pay the bills. I wont argue that point. Now let's apply similar logic the other way. What happens when a guy says, "She's nice, but...". We all cringe because we know the weight issue is about to be brought up. Ladies, does it not hurt when a fella passes you up because maybe your butt's bigger than he thinks it should be? Guys feel the same when a gal passes on them because his bank account is smaller than she thinks it should be.

Yes it does suck when we are rejected due to our size (or pretty much anything else) but you are missing the point. The OP OBVIOUSLY works out. Why is it outrageous that she would want someone that puts the same importance on being healthy and looking good? I keep asking for the people complaining to address this point. She does not seem to ask for anything that she does not seem to bring to the table. What exactly is the problem with wanting to get what you are giving?
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 210
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 5:35:03 PM
^^^^^^^^^The problem is that they can't meet her requirements... as simple as that.. It cuts them out of the running and they can't handle it...

Maybe if someone else says it they will listen..

She's works hard on looking after her body - she's wants someone who does the same
She worked hard on getting an education - she wants someone who has done the same
She has her own place - she wants someone who has the same
She has good manners and knows how to conduct herself in public - She wants someone who does the same
She has a good job and earns a good income - she wants someone who has the same

What the h*ll is the problem with that???? Maybe she should date a unfit, uneducated, bad mannered, jobless, unhygenic loser who doesn't have a cent to his name so you will all stop your whinging.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 211
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 6:08:14 PM
Okay let's look at it your way.
1. I have an education-you should then assume I am always right. It may save you a beating.
2. I have worked hard at building my career. You will not try to interfere with that, or you might get a beating.
3. I spend time at the gym so I can look my best. You need to marvel at my awesomeness or I'll find some chick who does.
4. I spend alot of money on appearance, so expect other women to notice me.
5. I have great social skills. Don't get all pissy because I flirt, or i'll beat you again.
6. I have my own home. You should know how to take care of it for me, because I'm to busy working on my career and socializing. Your job is my home.
7. I put alot of effort into the decor of my home, you're not changing a darn thing. Just consider yourself lucky I let you live in my home.
8. I am perfct. I demand you be, too. One little mistake and I'll beat you.

See, we can play this game all day long. The point is that nothing on her list has anything to do with bing nice or not nice. To a few of us here they represent a shallow exsistance based appearences and materialistic possessions. What we are saying is that it is a matter of priorities.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 212
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the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 7:01:41 PM

Okay let's look at it your way.
1. I have an education-you should then assume I am always right. It may save you a beating.
2. I have worked hard at building my career. You will not try to interfere with that, or you might get a beating.
3. I spend time at the gym so I can look my best. You need to marvel at my awesomeness or I'll find some chick who does.
4. I spend alot of money on appearance, so expect other women to notice me.
5. I have great social skills. Don't get all pissy because I flirt, or i'll beat you again.
6. I have my own home. You should know how to take care of it for me, because I'm to busy working on my career and socializing. Your job is my home.
7. I put alot of effort into the decor of my home, you're not changing a darn thing. Just consider yourself lucky I let you live in my home.
8. I am perfct. I demand you be, too. One little mistake and I'll beat you.

See, we can play this game all day long. The point is that nothing on her list has anything to do with bing nice or not nice. To a few of us here they represent a shallow exsistance based appearences and materialistic possessions. What we are saying is that it is a matter of priorities.


Okay... that made zero sense but okay. As has been stated many, Many, MANY times in this thread. Those things are required to even get your foot in the door. It's not a situation of once you have those things she will like you. You have to have those things and still be interesting and have social skills. Let's take a look at YOUR list...

Okay let's look at it your way.
1. I have an education-you should then assume I am always right. It may save you a beating.

Where you get this I do not know. A beating? She places an importance on education and would like the same from a partner. It in no way makes you always right. She never said be MORE educated than her as she is QUITE educated. Just be educated. It helps in the finding of a common ground.

2. I have worked hard at building my career. You will not try to interfere with that, or you might get a beating.

Back to the beating? She worked hard at her career because like it or not it is a priority to her. To find someone that it is not a priority to could be detrimental to a relationship. Again it is something very reasonable that she finds important. If she did not find it important, she would not have studied for 6 years to do what she does. It's reasonable for people to think that way. that is why we have doctors, cell phones and cars.


3. I spend time at the gym so I can look my best. You need to marvel at my awesomeness or I'll find some chick who does.

Yes she wants a man that will look good naked and do what he can to be healthy. She is putting in that same effort. Fall down and marvel at your awesomeness... never came up. Do it or you will find someone else that will? You are only offering what she is offering here. How do you figure that you would have the upper hand in this situation?


4. I spend alot of money on appearance, so expect other women to notice me.

She did not say 'a lot' of money. She said a hair style instead of a hair cut. As in try to appear stylish, not break the bank on a trendy hair stlye. Again what is with the threat of other women? You would only be offering what SHE is offering in return. How do you figure that you would have her on her knees trying to keep you? What she has asked is a 50/50 situation.


5. I have great social skills. Don't get all pissy because I flirt, or i'll beat you again.

Sorry. This is the crux of your entire point. For a guy to act like this, say this or expect this, he actually has very POOR social skills. If he flirts and his signifigant other becomes upset, then he is being socially clumsy. If his solution to this social problem is to dominate or threaten her, then he again is demonstrating very POOR social skills.


6. I have my own home. You should know how to take care of it for me, because I'm to busy working on my career and socializing. Your job is my home.

uhhh... huh? Dude, she has a Master's Degree in Engineering. You would very possibly make LESS than her. But it has become obvious where your perception lay. You are not interested in a relationship of relative equals. Your interest is in relationships with quivering, insecure women that are in constant fear of losing you to another woman, is less intelligent than you and less able than you. From that point of view, your argument makes sense... but the women that are not interested in that are not interested in you. It's funny because the whole 'Less judgmental' thing that you brought up earlier. It turns out that you are being pretty judgmental of the OP. You have your wants, she has hers, but somehow hers are wrong and yours are right. Hmmmm


7. I put alot of effort into the decor of my home, you're not changing a darn thing. Just consider yourself lucky I let you live in my home.

I do not recall the OP asking to live in anyone else's home or redecorate it. But she does want to feel comfortable in it. Again, seeing how it would be entirely probable that the OP would make equal or more than said partner, she may not be interested in down grading to live in his home.


8. I am perfct. I demand you be, too. One little mistake and I'll beat you.

I do not recall the OP asking for perfection, nor attempting to threaten/dominate her partner. Just to bring to the table similar qualities and values that she has. Again the constant return to it being a contest or that she may 'lose' you shows that you are not on the same page as the relationship that she is talking about. While you too are free to pursue the sort of relationship that you want to, understand that the OP seems to be looking for things that seem EQUAL to what she is offering.


See, we can play this game all day long.

Noooooooo. You played a whole different game. The scenario you presented was that your situation was GREATER than hers. You were better looking, had a better home, a better job, a better body and better options tyhan she had. That she should feel lucky and priveledged to be with you instead of what the OP put forward that she just wants what she in turn is offering. You are trying to play Poker at the Black Jack table.Two different games.


The point is that nothing on her list has anything to do with bing nice or not nice. To a few of us here they represent a shallow exsistance based appearences and materialistic possessions. What we are saying is that it is a matter of priorities.

You are correct in that nothing there was about nice or not nice. Nice is expected and should not have to be said. It's baseline and if you do not have nice, you don't really get to play. You need nice, but for the OP you also need certain other things to get in the door. Frankly the OP is asking for things that you probably can not provide thus you seem to have an issue with them.
Let's face it, if a dumpy out of shape woman approached you on here, acted like a complete tool, had zero sense of humor and low social skills, had a job at 4 jobs in the last 6 months, perhaps had a GED, lived at home with her parents and had four kids but had no car appraoched you on here, you would be less than interested. Even if you gave it a shot you would soon become disinterested as she would not be operating on the same plane as yourself. You would be responsible for too much of the relationship (having to travel to get her EVERY SINGLE TIME, having to plan around her kids, always having to go to YOUR place for sex 'cause she lives with mom and dad and the kids, you would be paying for everything as she is broke, she would probaly not be as exposed to culture and the world as you had so you would feel uncomfortable sometimes with her on certain subjects and to top it all off, she has no sense of humor thus can be a real downer, plus she would be spitting and cursing too loudly in public places probably embarrassing you.
Make no mistake... there is absolutely nothing wrong with a person like this, but it would generally be a short lived experience to date her if your social position is higher than hers. She is who she is and should be free to pursue someone that would love her for who she is. The good and the bad. But imagine her position. She would start dating you and soon it would become uncomnfortable for her as well. She would start no asking to see you as it would be an effort that YOU would have to make. You go get her, bring her where ever, then your house then her house that back home. Everytime. You would be paying for everything so she would stop suggesting nicer places or experiences as she would feel like a burden, You cook dinner for her and take her out, but she may not be able to return the act as she lives at the home of other people. she would have less exposure to culture and the world and very possibly start to feel stupid and ignorant around you. feel condesended to when you explain things to her and not comfortable around YOUR peer group as she would very possibly not measure up to them in these areas either. Of course she could be the nicest, sweetest, most considerate person that you have ever met, but you really are not that excited by her physically as she could lose thrity pounds and has no muscle tone. Yet she sees you naked and feels insecure about herself.
Let's face facts, it could work and sometimes does work. But far more often than not it does not work.
There is a saying 'you need two fairly equal horses to pull a cart. If one is stronger than the other it will drag the weaker horse. The weaker horse will slow the stronger horse and resent the stronger horse for dragging it forward too fast and do things it can't do."
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 213
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 7:51:30 PM
Dude, it's called SATIRE, look it up. I was making the point that even an a**hole can have all those things on the list. Nothing wrong with wanting to stay healthy, have a few nice things, and the life of the party, but to make those a priority over good character, ethical behaviour, trust, respect and all those qualities that make up a nice person is, to some of us, shallow. And no, those qualities are not just the begining. they are the heart and soul of a relationship. Not the house. Not the decor. Not the hair cut. Not the degree. That's why the vows go," for better OR worse, for richer OR poorer, in sickness AND in health..."
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 214
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History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 9:34:36 PM

Dude, it's called SATIRE, look it up. I was making the point that even an a**hole can have all those things on the list. Nothing wrong with wanting to stay healthy, have a few nice things, and the life of the party, but to make those a priority over good character, ethical behaviour, trust, respect and all those qualities that make up a nice person is, to some of us, shallow. And no, those qualities are not just the begining. they are the heart and soul of a relationship. Not the house. Not the decor. Not the hair cut. Not the degree. That's why the vows go," for better OR worse, for richer OR poorer, in sickness AND in health..."

Well if you say it's satire, I'll take your word for it. but your version of 'satire' oddly seems to mirror you arguments. True enough you exaturate to make a point, but you are using satire to make your points and they are the same point.


and that's just the point, isn't it?

Item 1- Being intelgent isn't enough.
Item 2- Being dependable isn't enough.
Item 3- Yeah, vanity, always a good trait.
Item 4- See Item 3
Item 5- Being ones self is not enough.
Items 6&7- Being responsible is not enough.
Item 8- Learning from ones mistakes is not enough.

I may be picky, but I like my friends and lovers just a wee bit less judgemental.

The same points this time without satire...


Yes, being nice won't pay the bills. I wont argue that point. Now let's apply similar logic the other way. What happens when a guy says, "She's nice, but...". We all cringe because we know the weight issue is about to be brought up. Ladies, does it not hurt when a fella passes you up because maybe your butt's bigger than he thinks it should be? Guys feel the same when a gal passes on them because his bank account is smaller than she thinks it should be.

The same pointsbut again you bringing up her being rejected like it should be teaching her a lesson about why she picks who she picks...


See, we can play this game all day long. The point is that nothing on her list has anything to do with bing nice or not nice. To a few of us here they represent a shallow exsistance based appearences and materialistic possessions. What we are saying is that it is a matter of priorities.

You defending your satire in comparesion to 'non-satire'.


I was making the point that even an a**hole can have all those things on the list. Nothing wrong with wanting to stay healthy, have a few nice things, and the life of the party, but to make those a priority over good character, ethical behaviour, trust, respect and all those qualities that make up a nice person is, to some of us, shallow.

At no point did the OP or anyone else say that those things were all that mattered or the priority. Just that you needed those things to get your foot in the door. it has been said on this thread by several posters (including me) that nice is just baseline and should not have to be said. Nice is expected. She never said if you have a career and an education I will fall for you. She never said that if you have a nicely decorated home and social skills that she would over look everything else not on the list.
You, me, everyone has their own list of things that will want and do not want. Even you say...

I may be picky, but I like my friends and lovers just a wee bit less judgemental.

... You may be picky, but because the OP uses a different criteria than you do. Frankly a criteria that you do not meet you DO judge her and call her shallow and judgmental...

but I like my friends and lovers just a wee bit less judgemental.


and all those qualities that make up a nice person is, to some of us, shallow.
To a few of us here they represent a shallow exsistance based appearences and materialistic possessions.

The Op has the same rights as you do to want what she wants. You are mistaken to believe that they are not important. They may not be as positively viewed as charater and ehics, but in the end, it is said that married couples fight more regarding finances than anything else. More than trust. More than character. More than ethics. financial compatability seems to break up more marriages than anything that you mentioned. So why is it 'shallow' for her to make sure that she has someone that is on her level?
Even more to the point, why so focused on finances/ the crux of the point was not money. It was culture, education and social skills. it was the efort put into making yourself attractive to another person. Again why should she not want someone that has put in the effort that she has put in? How is that shallow? Why would a person that claims to not be so judgmenatl even care? muchless resot to calling the OP shallow and judgmenatl? oHH I get it. You never said that you were not judgmenatl. You want your friends and lovers to be less judgmental. So again back you the same issue.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 215
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History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/10/2011 10:35:54 PM

What exactly is the problem with wanting to get what you are giving?


The problem is that they can't meet her requirements... as simple as that.. It cuts them out of the running and they can't handle it...

For some, may be. For me, no.

As I said earlier in post 94, I have no problem with any of her expectations. She has the right to demand whatever she wishes. But when she had to start a new thread to lecture the world on how many hoops a man must jump over to earn a reply from her, that's being presumptuous, and it's no wonder why some will find her arrogance a disdain.

If a "nice guy" comes on here to rant about not getting replies from women, he deservingly gets his due dish out at him. And he will, fast and furious. Likewise, If the OP comes on here to rant about those who apparently have the audacity to send her a message, I'd expected that she gets the same reprimand too. But apparently not. Seems like only nice guys' rants deserve the ridicule.


I might be picky, but in order to get a reply from me you need to invest many years in your min, body, soul, and career...

okay, if you say so.

The fact of the matter is that anyone who puts up a public profile on a dating site has to expect that some of the inquiries will not meet their standards. That's part of the gig. If it is not a fit, deal with it privately. Nobody else cares. Starting a new thread and coming on all high and mighty to impose your standards on the rest of the world will only make you look pompous and shallow.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 216
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/11/2011 12:00:47 AM
well who needs a dictionary when u got thebigflick and canam miles around haha.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 217
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/11/2011 2:13:47 PM
There are two items on the OP's list that make her sound judgemental, imho. First is the career vs. job item. Secondly, there is the item about avoiding mistakes, particulary because of the divorced by 23 example. But I don't know the young lady and may very well be wrong. I hope that I am.
As far as being shallow, I was refering more towards a materialistic lifestyle than any particular person, OP included. I believe the crux of the issue is financial. Four of the items on the list speak directly to finances; career, home, belongings, and grooming.
Two items indirectly; the gym,have to pay for that membership, and an education, as I assume she is refering to a higher education. That's six of eight. That leaves two. I wish her the best of luck finding some one who has made no mistakes in their life, stupid or otherwise. The last one, good social skill, could be viewed as just another way of saying nice, oddly enough. In todays economy, a lot of good, decent folks have lost their carees, and as a result their homes, belongings, and savings as well. They are finding out that their degree doesn't carry the weight it once did. They can no longer afford that gym membership or fancy hair style, But they are still good, decent people. Likewise, if you strip all that away from a jerk, then he/she is still a jerk.

Finally, I'd like to say there is a difference between being judgemental and defending ones point. But thank you for pointing that out and giving me an opportunity for self-improvement.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 218
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the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:07:37 PM
Grooming is not financial. It's attempting to look your best. Wearing clothes that fit your frame and are complimentary to how you look rather than sporting your favorite baseball team. She never talked about belongings. Having a tastefully furnished home does not need to be expensive. It does preclude Miller Lite neon signs though. Gym membership+The Y and frankly the point was not having a gym membership it was staying healthy and fit. As long as there is ground one can jog, do push-ups and crunches. Education also need not be a financial burden. She never said have a Master's Degree. Just be educated. Be knowledgable about the world around you and have some exposure to culture.

But the point that she is making in the end is a true point. SHE was not focusing on financial aspects, the forum is. She was focusing on men doing what it takes to be attractive to the opposite sex. It takes more than just being nice. The point that has been lost in this debate is that you actually need to be ATTRACTIVE to have success in dating. Not simply good looking attractive, although looking your best goes a long way. Attractive to women is different than attractive to men. Women attach emotional issues to attraction. you can be big (Over weight) and confident and women will see you as someone that makes them feel safe. You can have a big nose and it may remind them of a favored uncle and that will do it for them. You can be balding and simply shave your head and women see it as a sign of confidence and find it attractive. Grey hair, scars, whatever. Men are able to pull that stuff off and have it WORK for them. Women will also atribute non physical things like intelligence as attractive, confidence (more than anything else) power over others, being a sharp dresser, or having a skill of some sort (like being a talented chef, tough, funny...) all as attractive. Women on the other hand need to be physically attractive to cut the mustard.
This is the point that is being made here. Simply coming to the table with 'nice' is not attractive. Don't be fooled into thinking that finances are the big issue here. She is saying that if a lot of men put more effort into learning how to be attractive to the opposite sex, then they would find more success in the dating arena.

One poster mentioned that her 'friend' liked guys that actted like brutes. Look, women simply like that sort of play. It's 'Alpha Male'. It's also fun. In my own profile I have a picture of me carrying a woman around over my head. I get more comments on that picture than any other!! It's the way of the world. People can either accept that this is what works and roll with it, or they can buck the system and deal with the results.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 219
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:25:26 PM
BTW people, I did a little research. Pedastool is a line of childrens furniture designed by Micheal Jackson.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 220
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History
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/11/2011 7:26:25 PM

BTW people, I did a little research. Pedastool is a line of childrens furniture designed by Micheal Jackson.


LOL!
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 221
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/13/2011 11:27:30 AM
I would ABSOLUELY,without a shadow of a doubt,be willing to put in the time with a guy if he's a nice guy. I don't want a renagade,a Hell's Angels (YIKES!! ) or a guy who walks around with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove.They're not my type,At ALL. I don't care if a guy has a "job" or a "career" as long as he's happy and doing something he loves,that brings honest money in. I just want a guy who; Is a Genuine nice guy,Is true to himself and those he cares about,Is fun,Is funny, Can laugh at his own imperfections,Has his own circle of friends (but would welcome mine as well) Is kind to both animals and children,Is NOT shallow or superficial (those folks are a dime a dozon if you ask me! )Has a good sence of humor,Is Adventurous,Happy, Is a Teddybear,and Doesn't sweat the small stuff. That's all I want.Has his own place? Nice,but not needed. Works out daily?? If he does it to make himself happy,Great! I don't need that. I'm happy if he can read & write. I I think the secret is in loving what you see.....NOT seeing what you love.This may startle a few hundred folks out there,but......I'll try to break this news as gently as possibe...........are you ready??.......here goes.... NOBODY'S PERFECT!! Not even those who've fooled themselves into that belief for so many years The only Perfect One died on the cross. Now,please get off of yours....somebody needs that wood! Honestly,if a guy can accept my imperfections,my"warts and all" so to speak,he'll receive the same from me.....and ,that's the truth! Good news? We'll ALL get our chance....there's "Plenty of Fish" for you AND me!
 missytubbie86
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 222
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:43:20 PM

I want it all. Yes, I know that’s why I’m single.


That's also probably why you'll still be single for many years and counting...sadly for you
 Jen_29
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 223
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:41:18 PM
My point was very simple. If you are unhappy with your dating life then get of your ass and do something productive to improve your chances. Whining about your lack of success and blaming the other sex is very unattractive.
 missytubbie86
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 224
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:44:15 PM
Hopefully, people will realize that not all women are like the OP. Sure, we had some preference but I just can't relate to the OP. At least she doesn't said she wanted a man who's at least 6ft tall or whatever it is!


are you educated?
do you have a career instead of a job?


I've dated some who has a steady career and it doesn't means anything at all. They're not a better date than others. I don't think being educated is the main point to have a successful relationship!


do you go to the gym to look healthy and attractive?


What if your man who 'look healthy and muscular' and you just found out that he has diseases? I bet you're the kind of woman who's ready to move on to the next man...
My point is: 'looking healthy' doesn't mean that you're actually healthy!! WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT? OP, do you want a trophy or a real relationship??


I might be picky, but in order to get a reply from me you need to invest many years in your mind, body, soul, and career. Being a nice guy is not enough...


You're picky , but not the worst I've seen. Unfortunately, women like OP are giving us a bad name and no wonder why some men are frustrated and angry here...
And we're still wondering why some of these nice men are turning out violent toward us after years of frustrations...Women like OP are probably the reasons of these consequences.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 225
the nice guy...are you willing to put in the time?
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:49:15 PM
Educated? As long as they can spell and string two sentences together that is fine with me. I dont necessarily want a university educated man.

Career instead of job? I guess that means earns lots of dollars. In this climate we are lucky to be working at all.

I am not into gym junkies but looking reasonably fit is attractive, yes.

Haircuts? Everyone likes something different and as long as it is reasonably tidy, that is fine.

Social skills? I agree manners and the ability to listen as well as talk are desirable.

Own place to live? As long as they are not living with parents into their late thirties and sharing a house or apartment is fine. I agree that it should be kept clean and tidy as anything else is a huge turn off.

Divorced at 23? Sometimes it is better to get out of an unsatisfactory partnership and not waste time on it. There are many circumstances for it and should not judged on that.

But years of working on yourself??? that is a bit much......I agree that many profiles are tweaked but we all know that.
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