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Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 31
Beauty over age 45Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
So, I read this thread page before reading the's my opinion based on this thread page:

1) I like the way women my age look.
2) I don't like when I read I look younger than my age in a profile...let me decide what I and women make this statement.
3) I don't like when someone lies about their age in a profile...that's a lie and is extremely tacky at and women lie about their ages..
4) I think when people whine about what other people think and's extremely un-appealing

Then I read the OPost...
1) when I see a beautiful woman in her 20's and 30's ...I think...she's old enough to be my daughter...ewwwww...
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 32
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/4/2011 5:11:00 AM

when I see a beautiful woman in her 20's and 30's ...I think...she's old enough to be my daughter...ewwwww

Yeah and I bet Hugh Hefner is thinking that just about every day!!!...

Well, perhaps the way I think is a defense mechanism I employ to avoid being thought of as that pathetic dirty old man..which what I think of Hugh Hefner...anyway...we don't have Hugh's money so there's no attraction to bring hawt 20-30 somethings our way.
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 33
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/5/2011 1:10:56 AM
To me, beauty and youth are not the same; but youthfulness, both physically and in personality, enhance a woman's beauty.

I would never want to date a woman who is much younger than me, because to me they lack both physical and intellectual maturity. But if I met and dated a beautiful woman my age who just happened to look much younger, I'd be enchanted -- especially if she knew when and how much she could act younger. If we're listening or dancing to oldies, I'd hope we both feel like teenagers again; if she dresses and behaves like someone half her age all the time, she's almost certainly going to look ridiculous.

True beauty is ageless.
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 34
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/6/2011 1:45:27 PM
I can only work with what God gave me, lol! If a man likes the way I look that is great. If he doesn't find me attractive then move on I say. I'm 59 and I don't expect men in my age range to look like they did at 30. I might add that I have always been attracted to men in my age range (same decade), my whole life. I like gray hair and laugh lines and a twinkle in the eye that comes from experience. Just wish a number of the cuties I've seen on here lived closer to me! And by the way...there are many of us middle aged ladies who don't need and have never taken antidepressants or drugs to deal with age, life changes or whatever. As for gravity, I've found that it affects us all, lol!
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 35
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/10/2011 4:32:42 PM
"Age only matters if you're wine or cheese". To me.we're all beautiful,regardless of age. WHAT is age anyway,except a number? Why is everybody so hung up on age??You turn 18!!'re now legally an adult!21!!!! now,you can legally drink! Now.........WHAT???! What happens next? It's funny isn't it,how when you're a kid you CAN"T WAIT to get big and do"grown-up" things.......whereas,you reach a "certain age" (and for everyone,it's different) as an adult,and you'd give ANYTHING to be able to turn back the clock and be a kid again, even just for one more day. For me,age is a case of mind over matter.......and,if you don't MIND,it don't MATTER! I'm lucky enough,it seems,to come from a long line of people who look AT LEAST 15 years their junior......believe me,I'm NOT trying to brag (ok......maybe......just a LITTLE?!! ) and I'm absolutely THANKFUL for that. But they ALSO keep a young attitude,which,thank GOD,has "rubbed off" onto me . The point is,weather you're 2,1 hundred and 2,or ANYWHERE in the middle of the spectrum,please know this....YOU are beautiful for your age! Really.You are. I don't think "holding back the years" has as much to do with LOOKING young,as it has to do with being young-at-heart. Think about it.....anyone can LOOK younger,but if you keep a spring in your step,your heart open to all the wonderfulness life has to offer and "your face to the sunshine so you cannot see the shadows" (thank you,Hellen Keller) no one will BELIEVE your age when you tell them! WE ALL get older.....there's no avoiding THAT!......but we don't have to be OLD! (That's an indirect quote from the lovable,100+ year YOUNG,comedianne George Burns.) Age is only a state of're as young as you believe you are Bellieve it!
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 36
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/12/2011 5:53:57 PM

Youth and beauty are Not the same...I'd really _Like_ to find a pretty someone around 45..!!
But to my experience, a larger % of 45+ women need anti-depressants or stimulants to keep them on an even-keel...(as compared with 30+)
They're also more suceptible to the long-term effects of gravity and elasticity!

You're a guy in your mid 50's who looks like he's in his mid 50's, and your concern
is finding a woman as young as 45 (around 45). There are actually plenty of women
your age who take no medication at all, are in good physical shape, look pretty good
for their age, but I'll bet you automatically discount them?

This to me is the problem with fishes. People set perimeters and then are often unwilling
to go beyond them. I've often said that the problem with men my age is that they were
simply not interested in women my age.

Jeepers, I'm glad I'm not seriously looking anymore. This place could be discouraging.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 37
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/13/2011 11:29:03 AM

I would say there are some but they are the exception rather than the rule just like men in thier 50's - I see plenty of comments from women in the forums complaining about a dearth of attractive men over 50. So I think the unrealistic setting of parameters goes both ways on here.

Tis true. I'm assuming for both genders, it's likely that there are some, but more the exception than the rule.

~OT~ I was age-appropriate-only since I knew that I liked boys. No one much younger, no one older. As I aged, that parameter served me VERY well. When I was single ~ I was looking for someone that I felt WAS my age. My SO is 2 years younger. We are from the same "time zone." When speaking of our young years, we recall the same events, the same music, the same toys, the same TV programs, etc., etc., etc. We have first-hand-memories of the same world events. There is a lot more to this "age being just a number" to me than just how much has happened to the physical body. The mind is also the same chronological age as the body and the encompasses the era's we recall as children, teens, young adults, and now older adults. These are some of the things that made someone age-appropriate for me. I see nothing wrong with older/younger ~ younger/older, it just wasn't EVER something I was interested in. JMO
Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 38
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/13/2011 12:55:37 PM
i think the problem is that as men get older, women their age seem to look more like their mother rather than their partner
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 39
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/12/2011 4:12:26 PM
OP, it's a problem because you make it a problem. I will be 59 this year; if I have a shelf life, it is only because I have stamped myself. I have been contacted by as many men younger than I am as I have men my age. In real life, it is the same.

Men have no more "luxury" than do women, and there are many men who can't even get dates with women their ages, let alone younger women.

But to my experience, a larger % of 45+ women need anti-depressants or stimulants to keep them on an even-keel...(as compared with 30+)
They're also more suceptible to the long-term effects of gravity and elasticity!

And some men are just butt-ugly regardless of how old they are (no one in this forum, of course). And IF what you said about 45+ women were true, then it would be just a matter of time for the 30+ to need the anti-depressants, eh?
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 40
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/13/2011 5:56:48 AM

Anyone that thinks a 20 year old girl is more beautiful than I am should stick with the 20 year old. Really not trying to be rude but I am pretty sure I would not find him attractive. The beauty of more mature people comes through in how our character and experiences have imprinted themselves on us. Wisdom, joy, love...these qualities are the most beautiful of all and you just don't have them at 20.

Yes! Men and women try to make the "age issue" into a competition, but I am not in competition with anyone. If a man wants the 20 year old, then let him have her! And vice-versa with an older woman/younger man. On both sides, it is people who are insecure about their age that have the problem.

When I truly was a beauty (outside) I didn't know it...Now I am a beauty inside, know it and love loving me.
Your own standard is enough...Though I rarely go out now when I do I just assume that I am the most beautiful person

As you should assume! It gives you self confidence, and THAT is attractive.

I "bloomed" later in life. I weighed 250 pounds for most of my 30s and 40s. After losing a bunch of weight, I found myself more attractive in body and mind--my self concept was strengthened. People who knew me or who see pictures of me in my 30s and early 40s tell me how much "better" I am now--I have to agree with them. (Grin.)
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 41
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/14/2011 7:51:01 PM
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty is only skin deep. As I progress in age, I realize that what I was attracted to in my younger yrs is not the same today. I know I am sexy, healthy and full of life at 48 and altho I am not currently in a relationship, does not mean I have given up hope. Yes, I am dating older men, and Yes I have dated younger. I just think the younger men should take heed to the old country song "Older women Make beautiful lovers". LOL A beautiful person is who she is on the inside.....
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 42
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/14/2011 10:42:49 PM
I have to add something to my earlier post.

Many men, and even more women, look younger to me than their actual ages. I'm serious about this; maybe it's just the perspective of my age, but I have a much tougher time today estimating ages based on either appearance or (sometimes) actions.

But I suspect there is more than just my advanced years in play here. More than cosmetics too. Most people seem to stay active longer, eat healthier, and just have more fun than our elders did at 45+. I think it has to do with increasing lifespans too; we live longer, so it's natural that our bodies and minds remain "young" longer.

Sometimes I wish people -- especially women -- came with badges telling just how old they are. Is the cute woman sitting by herself in the mall's food court 35, 45, or perhaps even 55? It's getting harder to tell at a glance, and sometimes even after a little small-talk, unless she indicates that I'm too old to interest her.
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 43
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/15/2011 10:16:09 AM
I am not getting the whole one is better than another...age is age...sorta like race is race...we have it ..we can't change it (except Michael Jackson did try ;p). Isn't maturity suppose to be about being able to take the blinders off and see the whole person?

I read put downs on younger people all the time and think...dang who do these people know that age and then they mention their own kids and I think how lucky I am that my kids and I can carry on meaningful brilliant and creative they are.

I would never dream of devaluing them to make a point on forums about younger people being less...they are just at a different point in their life ...but some of them are exceptional. Just like some older people are exceptional ...and viewpoint of themselves and others are what helps make them exceptional...those who prefer to bemoan the point that others are better are actually pointing out their own unattractiveness so why would a positive person want to be bothered by someone with such a closed minded approach to life?
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 44
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/18/2011 1:11:30 PM
Beauty is about being in relatively good shape, IMO. It is about having a beautiful smile and sparkling eyes. Beautiful is being a positive soul and believing in the goodness of others.
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 45
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/18/2011 6:10:14 PM
Today's society, of media driven ads and models, builds an unrealistic standard by which we are all force feed from at every commercial break, magazine cover and on every television program (with the exception of Rosanne, Maude, Golden Girls, Ugly Betty).

Only in the last five to six years have high fashion models beyond the age of 40 been acceptable to the runway. Most of society's images of beauty are either young or Photoshopped.

This standard has been with us since mass marketing can of age after WWII. I see little to alter it in the coming years.

On on the subject of men feeding the egos with younger women, that has been a tradition that dates back to med-evil times and beyond. Because of the social stigmata that male dominated society placed upon women going "Cougar" in the past, only in the last few decades has that begun to alter. Ego is a had task master for some men to serve and ignore.

But there are some of us who have dated women older than ourselves. I actualyl enjoy the company of women closer to my own age and older. Better at holding up their end of a conservation, more experienced in sex and all around more fun period.

Sadly we are few and far between. The majority out there will always go for younger, tighter, and sexy. Makes then feel good about themselves.
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 46
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/18/2011 9:18:55 PM
I feel exactly the same way. I just talked to my daughter about the double standard and that men are searching for someone younger (seems like always) not even looking for their contemporaries, the same age. People always think I'm younger, but bottom line, I am honest about my age and it colors their perception of me. Suddenly the "middle aged" filter is what they are looking through and they see someone they perceive as older, too settled, not exciting, somehow limited by the number...I don't want to fight a battle of prejudice every time I tell someone I'm 46....maybe I should start lying, after all this time!
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 47
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/19/2011 7:39:19 PM

Yes we have had more than a few women who have indicated that younger men are interested in older women. The problem seems to be with the boundries of thier interest.

I was married to a man my age for 25 years; I lived with a much younger man for seven years; I have dated men my age, older men, and younger men--the problem of the "boundaries" of their interest exists in ALL age levels, not just with young men.

If the 55 year old fat guy just wants sex and the 25 nice-bodied man just wants to have sex, which would be the most logical choice?

I consistently find it amusing that men in their 50s (or older) who look their ages and obviously have no money (who wants to support a man or woman who can't support him/herself?) whine about how women look their ages!
Joined: 12/19/2010
Msg: 48
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 4:17:03 AM
Personally I would prefer to date women of my on age bracket. There is something comforting about know each of you grew up in the same aria it gives you something in common to help break the ice.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 49
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 6:54:35 AM

Ok, does beauty equal youth? (Or rather, does youth equal beauty.) I've noted that, unfortunately, it's something that's been sort of 'programmed' into many people.

The idea that beauty equals youth has been crammed into our brain since at least the Renaissance. Yes, before that poets and others extolled the beauty of youth, but consider that the life expectancy was 30ish--a woman who is young today would have been considered middle aged and old for much of recorded history.

But during the Renaissance, being old and female took a dangerous turn in the form of witch burnings and persecution. Of the people put to death as witches, most of them were women, and of those women, most were old. Things that seem laughable to us now were ascribed to old women, including that their look was poisonous and could harm or even kill babies with a glance.

Laughable, yes--until you were burned for it!
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 50
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 10:50:24 AM
So are men delusion(al) who limit themselves to much younger women? Or is it only women who are delusion(al) when they do this?
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 51
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 11:00:06 AM
Why limit it at all? Why is age even an indicator of results?

It does not matter to me your age, but how we fit together mentally, physically, emotionally, and overall. I do not care if you are 30 or 60, as long as you want me, and I you, and we are happy to enjoy that connection.

I have dated those much younger and those much older, and overall, I never knew their age or cared until it was brought up because of some social issue, or need that someone had, either they, their friends, family, or society overall..............

The qualifiers for me are as follows, if you want to have children, I am not a good choice..............If you want to have someone support you, I am not a good choice.......................If you need that white picket fence and marriage, I am not a good choice.............If you need me to take care of you, I am not a good choice.............If you want an equal and will be my equal, and if the connection is there, chemistry, and compatibility, I AM a good choice.

Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 52
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 12:19:35 PM

That depends on the guy. Out of shape, health problems, etc. without anything special to offer, probably. But fit and successful in his career, probably not.

You get the benefit of the doubt because you aren't a woman looking at men's profiles. Just today I saw one, a man who sounded, from what he said, "too old" for my tastes. He's 75 and looking for pretty women 35-55, and has that age restriction. As far as I could tell, all he had to offer was a big RV and mostly full time travelling. Most women in that age range have jobs and often younger children to take care of. Somehow, I doubt if he's going to find what he's hoping for. Unless he's resigned himself to being someone's sugar daddy, anyway.
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 53
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:45:40 PM
Yep that's what I am looking a un-fvcked heterosexual man

I have come to conclusion you won't find any of those on POF
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 54
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 4:56:20 PM

Us older people are not as beautiful as younger people. That is a fact.

I can only speak from my experience, which is obviously not the experience of most people on this thread. For a long period in my life, I weighed 250 pounds: I lost 100 pounds in my 40s, and it changed my life in many ways.

I look better now than I did at 40--I say that I am a late bloomer, and perhaps that is why I feel differently about being "beautiful" at my age than do others. When people reach their peak of attractiveness in their youth, I am sure that it seems downhill from there. For those of us who spent a few decades being unattractive, new found "beauty" in middle age gives a different perspective.

I teach at a college, and I see a vast array of young people when I am on campus; many, many of them are obese, many are slovenly, and many just do not take care of themselves. If we are discussing beauty in advertising, that is one thing, but to say that youth trumps age simply isn't true.

Many people look at this "attraction" factor as competition, and I know that for many, it is, but not for me. I am beautiful, and it is not even necessarily the way that I look, but because I like myself and radiate self confidence.

Men do not identify themselves on their looks nearly as much as what they do, whereas many women often identify themselves on how they look.

As I can only speak from my experience, you can only speak from yours! Men DO "suffer" from the loss of their looks--I see and hear about it all the time! They worry about their virility, the thinning hair (WHY so many combovers?) and I cannot tell you how many profiles I have seen where the men state, "I look and act younger than my age." It is why some men wear those skinny little ponytails and pigtails; they are trying to hold on to their youth.

But you are right, some men have given up on trying to look good. I once had lunch with a man: his belly hung over his shorts, and he wore an oversized t-shirt and crocs. I wore a nice skirt and boots. He said that he wasn't concerned about how he looked, but comfort. I am always comfortable in my clothes, but I want to look good. I am not going to waste my time on a man who has simply given up on how he looks.

it is rare however when the guy is that much younger than the women, not so rare the other way around

Look at this stat:
Braving "robbing the cradle" jokes, almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men (defined as 10 or more years younger). According to a recent AARP poll, one-sixth of women in their 50s, in fact, prefer men in their 40s.

And check out this site:

The paradigm/stereotype of old man/young woman is shifting!

and with guys, youth and beauty is always a plus.

In my dating experience, I have seen as many or more men younger than I am than have been my age or older than I am. I didn't plan it that way. I lived with a man the same age as my sons; I had a short-term relationship with a man 11 years my junior.

It isn't about age: it's about the man.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 55
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 9/20/2011 5:00:37 PM

Ruby, I suppose young men might wonder what it is like to have sex with a fifty year old, but when I was in my mid twenties, the thought of doing so would have made me sick . . because a woman in her fifties was my mother's age and I simply did not find them in the least attractive at the time.

As I said, you can only speak of YOUR experience! From the number of young men who have approached me on dating sites AND in real life, I can vouch that there those who have fantasies about older women, including those in their 50s. They also want to act on those fantasies.

Not only that, I have had students approach me--not only my own students, but others who saw me on campus. Some young men--and old men--have teacher fantasies, too. Go figure!
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