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 go_geo_go
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 51
Is honesty the best policy?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
LOL I dated a woman years ago that told me she was single with no kids. First date she told me she had an 11 year old... but there was a child's seat in the back. Second date she told me she had a 3 year old too. Third date she told me she was divorced. Forth date she told me she was married.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 52
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/1/2011 4:54:09 PM
OP you did the right thing, he persisted in asking he deserves the truth.

If he hasn't replied its probably because he's going through rush dental work and hoping to get his teeth all shiny and new looking then reply with a pic of him smiling... or he's crying.

Either way he should have just been mature and polite and let it go.

Next time just learn to be a little rude and block/delete people who don't seem to respect your decision to not give them a specific reason.

Hmm... maybe I should go post a pic with me grinning from ear to ear so girls can inspect me like they would a horse
 Naadirah
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 53
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:38:17 AM
I have been asked this question before during a phone conversation. I refused to answer. There were good qualities and bad qualities, but the bad out weighed the good. I was not wanting an argument, so I opted out. Simply, do not answer.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 54
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/2/2011 10:02:49 AM
Nobody is a 100% honest, no such thing , absolute honesty is such a myth and a overrated one at that, we all tell little white lies, because if you're brutally honest or 100% honest would be brutal and inconsiderate.

Have you ever seen a homely baby? ever had a good friend or family member wear something that was inappropriate ? or your partner spent hours slaving over a stove to cook you something special and it tastes like shit , do you tell the partner that its shit or do you say smile, acknowledge their hard work and hope there is Gravol handy?

In this case the OP shouldn't of said anything to the guy, the guy knows his teeth is bad and he has a overbite large enough to open a bottle of soda or beer, why he insists on rubbing salt in the wound tells me the type of person he is.

The OP should of tossed him a couple of carrots and be done with it, I know if I was pressed depending on where I am I would plead the 5th if I was in America and in Canada, I would reply I refuse to answer that without consulting my lawyer just kidding, I just dont answer.
 boredintheboonies
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 55
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/2/2011 12:40:59 PM
This is not an ongoing relationship so answering him will probably do nothing but get a fight going. He knows there is something about him you did not find appealing and that should be enough for him. This nitpicking he is doing is probably a bid to get you to come right out and say it so he can then bash you. I would ignore him
 -metal4life-
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 56
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/3/2011 7:58:26 PM
If he's asking, he obviously wants to fix it so as to avoid future failures, just tell him already!
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 57
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/4/2011 12:22:32 PM
OP, just remember...no good deed goes unpunished. If you try to help it will blow up in your face. Block him.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 58
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/5/2011 11:28:22 AM
For the record, he never replied to my message. I suspect he knows ...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 59
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:20:32 PM
^^^"It seems like you sort of get some pleasure out of it."

How exactly did you come to this conclusion? I agonized over what to do, which you would have known if you'd read the entire post.

It's never "fun" to hurt someone's feelings ... at least not in my world.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 60
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/5/2011 5:35:43 PM
Honesty is the best policy, however, descretion is the better part of valor.
So there you go, two pieces of advice that are no help at all.
You made yourself perfectly clear and are under no obligation what so ever to explain anything further.
 flora2011
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 61
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History
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:47:09 PM
I would answered staright so he gets the picture right now. it is not good to make him waiting. i do have the same situation, i saw someone's profile and he responded we are not good matec an di would like to know.
so in my openion yes hoensty is the best policey no dragging here nope!
goodluck.

Flora:
 flora2011
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 62
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History
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 10/4/2011 4:11:41 PM
my topic is not related to this, however I am always honest and I do not mind saying what I feel!!fustrated:

The reson I am responding that I am new here and would like to know how can I make anew thread so i can express my thoughts here and get support from members here...

I do know how to post that is all.

Please anyone let me know would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you kindly..

flora2011
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 63
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Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 10/4/2011 5:09:00 PM
Agreed.

Most women make the assumption a partner can't take any criticism, but that is a bad assumption to make. Human beings can take criticism, but being lied to is a lot worse.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 64
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 10/4/2011 8:15:26 PM

But if I was honest with him, and he fixed the problem, he'd most definitely have better luck dating.


Would he have luck..with you?

If yes; tell him.

If not; dont.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 65
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 10/4/2011 8:16:38 PM

He knows it's his teeth he just wants you to confirm it so he can respond.


You're probably right.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 66
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 11/19/2011 1:34:00 PM
Tact, discretion, kindness, self-protection, is the best policy. Stay as close to the truth as possible, but do it with those things in mind.
 BSradar925
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 67
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:03:53 PM

Should I just be honest and tell him what I didn't like about him or just let it drop?


You don't owe him anything... You don't own an explanation as to why you did not find him attractive!
 BSradar925
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 68
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:07:12 PM

But if I was honest with him, and he fixed the problem, he'd most definitely have better luck dating


Before saying anything I always ask myself, "is it true? it is kind? is it necessary?"

I think telling a stranger about his physical flaws is NOT kind, and is NOT necessary IMO
 TabascoPasco
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 69
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 11/20/2011 1:48:34 AM
You gotta love the ones that say sure I like to hangout to go out or whatever after the first date. A few days or a week later you call that person to hangout, go out or whatever and they say yes I'll call you back but no they did not call back.
 CptJohnSheridan
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 70
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 11/30/2011 11:59:48 AM
I will play devil's advocate here. What if the guy has gone his entire life and doesn't know? How many of us have friends who think they can sing because no one has had the guts to tell them that they stink? I would tell him the truth and if he responds harshly ignore him. You still will have done a good deed.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 71
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Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:46:48 AM
Sorry, I couldn't read ll responses but from what I could read I would go with this.



I don't feel it's a match but it was nice to meet you,' you're done. I would not respond to any more contacts from him.


Of course honesty is best. However, this is not about honesty anymore. It's about control and an opening to humiliate and attempt verbal abuse. He disrespected you when you told him, "please don't ask". Giving him an answer would only enforce his disrespectful behaviour.

I was in a similar situation once. And he would just not stop leaving me alone until he got what he wanted, which was a more detailed reason why I didn't want to see him. Then he started with the passive-aggressive and abusive comments, which I was trying to avoid. Don't fall for it.


I would tell him the truth and if he responds harshly ignore him.

By then it's already too late. It's her choice to decide when and to whom the good deed is appropriate. Anytime someone takes this choice away from me by making it a requirement or by insisting, it doesn't sit well with me. But everyone is different.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 72
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 12/1/2011 2:22:58 PM
The correct answer is it's not your job to tell him about his teeth. You are not a dentist. This is a matter of common sense.

Your job is to date and find a partner and minimize rejection for the sake of your own sanity. If you say something negative and he turns out to be a hothead and lashes out, don't be surprised.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 73
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 12/1/2011 6:01:00 PM
If it was me I'd get back to him with "You're a nice guy and we had some spark but sorry the teeth just don't do it for me. Get yourself some braces and then give me a call in a year or however long it takes".

I dated a girl a year or so back.. we went out twice. Tall, thin brunette, very attractive.. except her teeth were rather crooked. I realized I'd never be able to get used to it.

If she had asked me.. I'd have told her. They detract from her beauty.

It's something that can be fixed. I'd never tell someone I didn't like their face, that wouldn't be very productive for them, or for me.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 74
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:37:04 PM
OP: He's probably baiting you into a flame war. You've given him all he needs to know.

Honesty is not only the best policy, it's the only policy. But that doesn't mean telling everyone you meet the complete unvarnished truth. It's OK to take the fifth...
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 75
Is honesty the best policy?
Posted: 12/2/2011 9:37:42 PM
when someone has a few photos up and they all have a closed mouth smile it makes me wonder why and if its their teeth.
I honestly dont know what i would do and I have been in the same situation before and did not tell the man why. I just did not go on a second date. i would think that at this age (40's and 50's) the person would know how they looked. But that isnt always true,...sometimes they are just used to their teeth and dont realize that it detracts from their looks. now I sound shallow but Im not. the worst kind of teeth are when you can tell they have been on drugs.
once I dated a man with bad teeth, but his personality was so great that I fell in love with him and although I would have loved it if he fixed his teeth, i never mentioned it.
he had the income to do so also.

i think if it was something so distracting about me that caused me not to get dates I would want to know in a nice way.
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