Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 24Lross
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 301
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?Page 13 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Even though I have been a member of POF for about 5 or 6 months this is the first time I have come into the form let alone posted an opinion...But in reading your post you are so very right in the fact that is is extremely difficult to meet women at age 55 and beyond that has taken care of themselves.... They seem to be way over weight and have lost interest in physical appearance... And seem more intent on the attitude of beauty is inside..., and frankly that truly might be the case.., the problem is inside beauty is like gold in a gold mine.., you must dig though of the undesirable to get to it... sometimes you succeed most time you don't...

I frankly tend to date younger for several reasons.., the main reason is it takes a younger woman to keep up with me and another reason is a no-brainer.., if I cannot look at my significant other and be inspired from a visual perspective without her doing or saying anything then is very likely my participation is going to be limited.. And obviously is she has chosen me I meet her criteria as well...
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 302
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/17/2013 11:35:18 AM
Even though I have been a member of POF for about 5 or 6 months this is the first time I have come into the form let alone posted an opinion...But in reading your post you are so very right in the fact that is is extremely difficult to meet women at age 55 and beyond that has taken care of themselves.... They seem to be way over weight and have lost interest in physical appearance... And seem more intent on the attitude of beauty is inside..., and frankly that truly might be the case.., the problem is inside beauty is like gold in a gold mine.., you must dig though of the undesirable to get to it... sometimes you succeed most time you don't...


Ummm hello the same applies to men...Believe me...sigh...
 Loneeagle210
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 303
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:37:16 PM
I'm 60 and I don't think we are all in that bad of shape. I'll admit I'm a little slower now, but 30 yrs in the military would probably account for that. As for dating, I gave up. Most women have a laundry list of requirements that very few men would meet. I found that women around my age say 55-63 less than 10% would date someone 60 or older. Not to mention they want an athletic build and make from $85K-over $150K. Can't understand why they can't find anyone.
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 304
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:01:16 PM
I really have no issue with women in their 50's, at least around here they look fantastic and sexy as ever. Its difficult because I can't find them on a friday night. As many state in their profiles, they're watching a movie or out yaking with the girls, yay....its dead in my town and I'm not interested in youngins. And don't even mention dance classes, I know that route well, half the women in those classes are married, and their husbands are nowhere to be found after they got dragged to all those salsa classes.
Here at pof I was doing fine until I hit 55....women were contacting me, but as soon as 55, I was outside the filters.....I have to assume a woman who is 48, doesn't look forward to 50, and since 55 is close to 60, you're considered on life support...so they make their filter from 52 to 40...because they can, once again yay........
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 305
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 2:07:06 PM
Wow Hannah, post of the year, maybe best all -inclusive post ever!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 306
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 2:30:24 PM
Awesome post, HannahMe. I think your post is very insightful and showcases some "facts" that some simply don't want to acknowledge.

The only thing I would point out is that not all people who are on POF are here to date or find a mate. When I came upon this site years ago, I joined out of curiosity and not for the reason of dating or finding a mate. That has not changed in the 7+ years that I have logged on to the POF site. I have made many online friends, some of which have become real life friends, from reading/participating in the best feature of the POF site - the forums.

In any event, your awesome post is bound to bring a lot of naysayers out of the woodwork. I'm off to pop some popcorn, grab a beverage and watch the reactions from some of the forumites.
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 307
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:19:52 PM
Hannah,

I enjoyed your post. I have to disagree about your assessment of men loosing their attractiveness in the late 50's. I joined a singles club for a while and the older guys were getting laid non-stop...all they wanted, while the old gals were fighting for them. Someone must have put Viagra in the punch bowl because it was rather funny to watch. One woman came up to me and asking to date me. It was a huge turn on although I did not find her attractive her attitude was spot on. I regret not following up on her.

The point being, if a man takes care of himself, keeps active, and is willing to flirt and date some, there is no shortage of women as you get older. While some women give up, other keep trying and there are many of them. Some men turn into sour pusses and get nothing. Women can still find interesting men, but they have to work harder and compete with other women. Singles groups are the best for this.

I also agree with you on bailing out on online dating if you don't have immediate success. I did and I am glad I did. It was a waste of time. My recommendation for the guys is to keep some business cards with you. I often meet women casually that are trying to strike up a conversation. Or I will see someone interesting and make an approach. While at times you may be dealing with some other issue and unable to chat, it is easy to pass out a card and let them follow up.

I am not sure why some of the women I met online failed to follow up. In some cases I think it is because the picture posted was from years back and they know they will disappoint whomever they meet. I ask for a phone number if one is not offered. I never give out my own number, because I never get a follow up when I do--I think it projects overeagerness and gives up control to the woman. If I don't get a number I stop emailing. If I get a number and call with no pickup, then I try once or twice more and then quit. It is important with online dating to talk on the phone as soon as possible to verify the person is real and then meet for a face to face to show each other the real person.

Now if you are serious about finding someone, I feel you can. You have to adjust your expectations to reality. What online dating does allow is someone who writes well to display that. Conversely, you can also write real letter to a person in real life. I find a real letter written on paper is better than an email. In fact, I may just do that tonight. If you stay online it means you are over-shopping and have unrealistic expectations.
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 308
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:31:43 PM


What is an ex cougar?



An ex-cougar is an old woman who used to date younger men, but now she is so old that even the old men are not interested in her.

It happens when the younger guy dumps her for a woman younger than himself, and now the cougar finds herself old and alone.

At this point she regrets not finding a more age appropriate man earlier when she could, and she is unwilling to date a man in her present achievable age range--in his 80's on life support.

In logistics, it's called end of useful life. In the tire business it a bald tire.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 309
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:33:28 PM
We all should take care of ourselves, trust in God & believe in a little magic...

Let me tell you about my Grandmother Tessie...
at my age she was widowed already. She lived in a small rent controlled apartment in the Lower East Side on NYC in a Ukrainian neighborhood. She didn't have online or meetup etc.

She took care of herself, minded her own business & lived her life. A very wealthy handsome man a lil bit older than her who owned AN ENTIRE APARTMENT BUILDING took notice of her & courted her. They got engaged, he gave her a ring. He had no children/heirs...

She ended up DUMPING HIM & he died 6 mos. later...
Huge mistake, but...w/o trying, she landed a very eligible man...
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 310
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:39:06 PM
great post hannah

I can't say its right on the mark , but agree there needs to be a lot more acceptance in this world
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 311
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:43:55 PM

In logistics, it's called end of useful life. In the tire business it a bald tire


Can't you melt those tires down into rubber..doormats ??
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 312
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 6:30:41 PM
Hannah,
What a great post! Very thoughtful and eloquent. I rate it to be required reading ! :D
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 313
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 8:43:22 PM
Hannah, I think Dr. Hannah Oz would fit well.



That's just the fact. The people who are successful with online dating generally find (for women) someone within the first 60 days and (for men within the first 6 months). If you can't find someone in 9 months, get off and work on yourself and your connections in real life. Online dating can become an addiction and window shopping; people who are on longer than than can become skewed in their perceptions. They become very polished at profiles, emails, chats, and first dates, maybe even relationships that last a month or so--but they can't sustain real relationships because they get stuck in the online dating syndrome. If you don't want a long term relationship, then no matter how long you stay on.


I think within this group there are a lot of people that don't want to stop dating new people every 2-6 months. They
aren't looking to get off of PoF because they enjoy the variety and excitement of new relationship.

I suppose your post otherwise fits most people, it's tough for me to know for sure, I have recently concluded I am a 5%.

95% of things people post about don't apply to me. Thus, I love the status quo. :)
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 314
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/30/2013 10:40:10 PM

What is an ex cougar?






An ex-cougar is an old woman who used to date younger men, but now she is so old that even the old men are not interested in her.

It happens when the younger guy dumps her for a woman younger than himself, and now the cougar finds herself old and alone.

At this point she regrets not finding a more age appropriate man earlier when she could, and she is unwilling to date a man in her present achievable age range--in his 80's on life support.

In logistics, it's called end of useful life. In the tire business it a bald tire.




ooOOooo, can you just feel the love in that post?
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 315
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/31/2013 4:38:12 AM
The cougar thing is alive and well guys, and all the toothless, obese, no hair, lazy, slobs are the blame. They ignored their women and it turned into playtime, and those women didn't want another 50 year old loser.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 316
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/31/2013 6:45:04 AM
I've been on POF for years & only met a handful & dated 2 back in 07-08...I was raising 2 sons w/ autism, had my father die, mom sold her house, got ill, had an illness & surgery myself (all better!) & a stressful crazy job. Not conducive for dating...The men I met from here all were way lower caliber than me, even the 2 I dated (basically just for sex- like an extended booty call)

I did get more confidence over the years & seem to do better IRL even if it is not as frequent as online (I could meet 5 low class dumb men every week VS 1 quality man every 6 mos w/o even trying)

I do not go out much at all nor do I chase, if I went out more & were more aggressive, I'd meet more, but...

The type of man I want wouldn't want a woman who was running all over trying to p/u men...He'd be happy knowing I was basically a homebody who likes to go out once a week...

We seem to think there is a formula or progression for how true love runs it's course...that we meet for coffee, spend 30 mins, then he asks u to dinner...you end up having 3 dates...then u have sex, then u r exclusive, etc.

Well what if u knew someone from IRL & when you 1st met them, u didn't really view them as a partner? Then u kept bumping into them and...one day u look at them & u see them in a diff light...you don't have to flirt or do this or that. it happens naturally...

Sometimes people meet & they just r not ready 4 eachother, in that case, the other may date while being open to the person she/he really really wants...
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 317
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/31/2013 9:51:30 AM

The cougar thing is alive and well guys, and all the toothless, obese, no hair, lazy, slobs are the blame. They ignored their women and it turned into playtime, and those women didn't want another 50 year old loser.


Well said, handyman, well said.
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 318
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/31/2013 10:16:36 AM

I do not go out much at all nor do I chase, if I went out more & were more aggressive, I'd meet more, but...

Define 'chase' and 'aggressive'...?
If you are an outgoing and friendly person and talk to many people while you are out, you will have no problem meeting men. It helps if you have a knowledge of current political, economic, and current events (don't have to be an expert), know some geography and some sports (here hockey is big), and are willing to talk about a wide range of subjects, then I guarantee you will meet men. Just a word to the warning that a few will misinterpret your intentions and try and cross your boundaries but that is for you to decide.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 319
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 1/31/2013 5:29:03 PM
Honestly ..lets face facts , Most women my age (53) that are desirable (for multi reason) are dating younger ,
The rest of the pool is either not date/relationship material or an outright nutjob.
This situation forces me to look younger and date , for which I get blasted by the women my age
I'm serious about finding a LTR, and although I didn't plan on it being with a younger women ...it might be
 Sharon4412
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 320
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/1/2013 1:21:21 PM
I turned 50 this year, because I don't spend a lot of my time in pubs, I find it difficult to meet people, having said that I think men want a younger woman, and possibly oriental , i'm relatively attractive and sexy, and a really happy person . I'm in good shape for an auld one, still no joy. I have a full life so its ok .
 loviek
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 321
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/2/2013 12:59:22 PM
attraction is a personal thing.
WTF makes you think because your oriental, your more attractive than anyone else???????????
I for one, find NO attraction to specific ethnicities.
your either a****ead or you arent...........nothing to do with race whatsoever.
 galyoungan
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 322
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/2/2013 3:21:41 PM
Hi kaki3152,
you sound so sane too! Too bad you're all the way across the country from me. Living in this little corner of S.E., AL, (we call it LA... lower alabama) leaves much to be desired in healthy, single men. Have fun! Debbie
 for4rums_loner_here
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 323
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/2/2013 4:30:23 PM
Hanna had a level talk, and it was good.

Her recommendation is to change yourself from being a reject to something else. Good advice.

For me, I levelled with myself some time ago: I won't change, but I own up to my fate. Read my profile please.

I know I am an arrogant, bossy, sensitive, angry man. I have no doubt, and have no qualms about it. Also the fact that in the last thirteen years I've lived a celibate life proves to me that I ain't no big catch, and am quite ugly too.

People usually rush up to me and try to comfort me. "Don't be bitter", "don't be negative", etc. is what they say. I may be bitter, and I may be angry, I am in fact, but those have no relations to seeing reality as it is.

Others decry others and find fault with them. I do that too, but I find faults with myself, which is kinda alien to human nature.

I used to be on another website for singles that have no forums, and therefore I was forced to read profiles for entertainment. Boy, girls had a high opinion of themselves. That was just as repulsive to me as my self-deprecation is repulsive to them.

So it works out both ways. They don't like me for my attitude, and I can't accept them with their lily-white self image of themselves.

I actually figured out what's with women. Most women, at least. They see things in terms of "good" and "bad". A lot of women do. They do that not because they are blinded to shades of differences, but because this is a good metaphor for getting along in life.

In front of a woman you can't say someone is ugly -- a third party, no matter be they men or women, the third party. Ugly does not fit in the weltanschauung of a woman. Too harsh, too dismissive, too antipathic. Men make war, women raise families and hold the unit together, through nurturing, and men and women make love.

I digressed. But it's why women use the paradigm of "good" and "bad" for their daily existence. Women hope for much more good in the world than bad, but at the end of the day their balance sheet is divided into "good" and "bad".

This is reflected in ancient mythology too. For instance, the Christian Evil is Satan, a male, and the Christian God is male too. Let's not probe if God is good -- that's another can of worms, much worse than the question "why I can't get laid".
 clyde222
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 324
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/2/2013 4:35:33 PM
I seem to get dates but with uninteresting men.
I'm looking for someone interesting
that can hold my interest. Is he out there??
 for4rums_loner_here
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 325
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 2/2/2013 5:46:01 PM
"""""""""""""
I seem to get dates but with uninteresting men.
I'm looking for someone interesting
that can hold my interest. Is he out there??"""""""""""""

Go out and find him... and keep seeking, leaving no stone unturned, until your search proves fruitful.

Because, basically, if you want to find an interesting man past 55, you or him or both must be stoned.

This is the reason for having to keep checking under the stones.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?