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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?      Home login  
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 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 351
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?Page 15 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
^^^oh please. There are many slim, trim and decent looking men and women in our age group...but the thing is, do they have a bad attitude or just a nasty disposition or negative outlook like some that post on here. Ugly on the outside can be dealt with; ugly on the inside is just....ugly. No one is turned on but this attitude.


I agree with this. The gentlemen my age who I might be interested in are already taken...not surprising.
There are also many people my age (male and female) who are very bitter and still stinging from a break up.
Lots of bad attitudes...not attractive at all.

Younger men are not usually interested in me (I get it), and I'm not usually interested in men that are a lot older
than me. I'm in dating purgatory right now. The good news is I'm okei with that.


I'm responsible for bringing an erection when the time is right and the older gals are responsible for having their hormones in check.


ahahahahahaha! :o)

 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 352
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 12:01:58 AM
It is *impossible* to meet available men, even in your 40's. Men my age dont want women my age. Guys older than me in their 50's dont want women my age. They all want 20 year olds. Yes, it is VASTLY different than when I was in my 20's...an entirely different landscape. You're also dealing with the fact that many men are married, taken, etc...and many that ARE single are single for a reason, rouge males, guys who dont want to commit, I've met plenty when I was online dating.

I learned pretty quickly that my own value as a woman has plummeted as I creeped into middle age, so what else is there to do but stop dating? One can only endure so much of this. You can't fight biology.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 353
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 5:04:16 AM

I learned pretty quickly that my own value as a woman has plummeted as I creeped into middle age, so what else is there to do but stop dating? One can only endure so much of this.


This is a valid statement far far more often than any of us 45+ "adults" cares to acknowledge. Denial permeates our dating scene. And the operative word is "scene." What we have "seen" when we look in the mirror does not in many ways reflect the true "scene" before our eyes. Women are just as subject to image denial as men: this is hardly a gender exclusive phenomenon. Anyone on Facebook has seen the hundreds of pictures posted daily. And the dozens of "likes" they receive from "friends." Some of these photographs reflect morbidly obese persons ---- both male and female. The males are wearing shirts that say, "Older men are hotter." Their shirts are 3 sizes too small that clearly reveal mounds and mounds of sagging protruding flesh hanging over their waistlines not by inches but by feet. The women are proudly displaying half their breasts which themselves are the size of cantaloupes in what can only be called a fascinating interpretation of what constitutes physical beauty and attractiveness. Dozens of "friends" post "comments" telling these men and women how "beautiful" they are.

Is it any wonder that the vast majority of the 50% of these "adults" who are single get on dating sites such as these and write profiles filled with declarations and demands? Declarations stating, "I look much much younger than my age. . . wo/men my age can't keep up with me. . . I am very physically active (which frequently translates in reality to "I can walk around my block without gasping for breath."). . . I am in excellent health (which frequently means, "I'm trying to quit smoking and only use my walker when I'm outside."

And so it goes. A generation of Baby Boomers living in denial. In denial about their retirement savings, their physical wellness, and their capacity to take an honest look at who they are.

Which in turn has left a generation of lonely middle aged adults. En route to what for many will be decades of lonely old age. And sadly but truly, most of these are absolutely capable of giving and receiving long term love. But you can't fight denial about biology.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 354
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 7:01:56 AM
I have my hair and don't have a gut enough said?
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 355
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 7:19:57 AM
Not really … I meet over-50 toothless, flabby liars with entitlement issues everywhere.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 356
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 8:36:36 AM

I have my hair and don't have a gut enough said?


Not enough said. Do you have an hour glass shape, thin. sexy body with no fat, flab or cellulite? Are you completely wrinkle free and is your body well toned? Do you make mens' heads turn to take another look at your beauty when you are out in public? If you answer "no" to any of the questions, take a look in the mirror before blasting guys who don't look like Hollywood sex symbols.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 357
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 8:58:22 AM
Ready Real nailed it in messages 425 and 429. That is just exactly how it is!
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 358
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 9:13:47 AM
Males are too stupid to know there is a big fat middle between George Clooney and some fugly guy that looks like Santa Claus.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 359
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 9:44:20 AM
I learned pretty quickly that my own value as a woman has plummeted

Maybe so, but as far as I'm concerned my value as a person has gone up, simply based on what I've learned in life, the character and personality I've developed. If I find a man that appreciates that, fine. For the men who cn't seem to see past the end of their d*ck, who need to chase women 20 yrs younger because they can't face their own aging and mortality, not my problem. If I cannot have a relationship where we enhance each others lives, I can do without. In fact that has a lot to recommend it.

I've already accepted the fact that I will probably wind up in some kind of care facility. If the men who are so busy chasing young tail are OK with ending up in that situation, that's fine.
But I don't want to spend my twilight years in a nursing home full 0f old men pissing and moaning because they ended up with nobody to take care of them.

Now, about that. My health isn't perfect.
I'd like to think I can be compassionate about a potential partners' issues, but there is a concern there, I've already buried one husband. I really don't care to repeat that experience.
That being said, I REALIZE that stats indicate I could very well end up burying a 2nd spouse or SO, but I'm not sure I could sign on for something where that event is imminent.

As far as caring for an ill SO, I'll do the best I can should that need arise, but I also have to recognize that I could have limitations of my own.

And I can certainly understand how ANYBODY could willingly be a caregiver for the spouse of their youth,the one they made a life with, but would have reservations about signing up to be a potential caregiver for someone who has just come into their lives.

All I can say is, if you are over 50 and single for whatever reason, start looking ahead so that you are not a burden or a huge pain in the arse to your family if you become unable to live independently, and don't leave a big headache for your family to deal with after you pass. Don't count on having a spouse or SO to look after you.
Once you stop looking at dating/finding a relationship as a must-do mission, life after 50 can be a helluva lot of fun!!!
Cindy O
 Ready_Real
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 360
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 12:15:14 PM

Ready Real nailed it in messages 425 and 429. That is just exactly how it is!

So, in honoring forum rules and addressing all gentlemen who currently share "Like2Dance's" sensibilities on the above messages, the practical me is thinking, "Is he simply attempting to validate what i've posted in #425 and #429?"

However. The romantic in me is thinking, "Ya never know. For those of us ladies who have to offer those "things" well in the ballpark of Like2Dance's stated "desireables" in women -- save their birth years --- maybe he has just posted the above because he's sincerely ruminating upon the meaning in my messages. Gee. Maybe he's even reconsidering that there are women his own age who may well be his physical, intellectual, financial, and spiritual complements AND whose


value as a person has gone up, simply based on what [they have] learned in life, [and] the character and personality [they've] developed


I guess i won't know until/unless you expand your profile's upper age restrictions and allow some of us to respond to your profile and test your waters:)


I am accustomed to mostly dating women in their early to mid forties I am willing to try up to fifty five [/quote)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 361
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 12:28:03 PM
"Also a bit of a gut goes a with middle age."

No it doesn't! What it does go with is a person who takes in more calories than they need for the lifestyle they are living.

Sorry but I would rather have no dates than date someone with a body shape that turns me off. What would be the point of dating someone who turned you off and had a slower lifestyle than you do?

"Once you stop looking at dating/finding a relationship as a must-do mission, life after 50 can be a helluva lot of fun!!!
Cindy O"

Absolutely!
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 362
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 1:58:28 PM
The majority of us (both genders), with common sense, would much rather have a person a few pounds overweight or balding or with a few wrinkles than have some of the folks that post on here that tend to have a negative attitude, and an "I'm hot, you're not" attitude or just plain ooze frigid, cold and nasty. If some think that they are so much better than, smarter than, would never date from here, etc., why keep coming back here? Is it just to be "right" or show some sort of superiority or is it the fact that you can't find anyone in real life either...mainly because of the attitude mentioned above. And if they can't find a date on here where things usually look rosy, how the hell do they date in real life where their attitude shows it's true colours.

I get that the vast majority of us would rather continue a fun filled solo lifestyle than settle, why the hell would anyone settle? But at our age it IS harder to find someone to date as most are married, partnered, some we've lost to death, some can't be bothered and some are just the plain frigid, cold and nasty that no one wants to date here or in real life.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 363
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 2:44:29 PM
"No it doesn't! What it does go with is a person who takes in more calories than they need for the lifestyle they are living."

That spells a person with a negative attitude or frigid and no one wants us? Seriously?
That is nothing but a way to get out of the medical fact that if someone eat too much they gain unnecessary weight which is unappealing.

Those of us who have enjoyed a happy marriage till death parted us, know what it takes to have a good relationship.
Some of us have been surprised that they enjoy being single almost as much as they enjoy being married. There is no one they are interested in getting into a relationship they know won't work for them. We aren't worried about the issue that it is harder to find someone as we age. We are too busy enjoying our senior years.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 364
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 4:49:51 PM
^^^^. Yet you're still here seemingly to date ? How's that working for you?

My point is, many are here on a dating site (men and women) and spend their time poking fun at the other gender for not being smart enough, making bad choices, being 20 pounds over weight, or bald, grey haired, wrinkled, or like fishing, motor bikes or football. The lists are endless. We didn't have these lists, red flags, must have, must have nots, etc. when we were 21. Many grew bitter from what life threw at them but many just seem bitter. This IS supposed to be the fun time of our lives as children are grown, our careers are where we want them, retirement is here or not far off so we should all be happy....not cold. Maybe some folks need a chill pill or a good old sweaty sex romp or an adventure or just an attitude adjustment. And no, don't settle, but get down from the pedestal you put yourself on and live, really live. And give some folks a little slack, the non fashion models can be and are wonderful people. Again, ugly on the inside is far worse than ugly on the outside.
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 365
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 5:06:45 PM

Some of us have been surprised that they enjoy being single almost as much as they enjoy being married.

ALMOST being the key word. Precious few really PREFER to be alone. Especially those that come to a dating site.

There is no one they are interested in getting into a relationship they know won't work for them.

Somewhere, Tony Robbins is shedding a tear on this one.
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. ”
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 366
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 6:28:40 PM


"^^^^. Yet you're still here seemingly to date ? How's that working for you? "

Obviously it is working out just as I want it to. Why the assumption is isn't?
I have no need to erase my profile when in a relationship.

I see that you don't want to address the points I made - just flame.

"Again, ugly on the inside is far worse than ugly on the outside."

You are the one flaming yet I am the ugly person. Interesting.

"Precious few really PREFER to be alone. Especially those that come to a dating site."

I believe that some of us do prefer to be alone (and know they can still be happy), but over 50 people mostly want the people they date to be working towards a live in situation.
Makes dating harder for those only interested in long relationship where both parties keep their own homes.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 367
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 6:57:38 PM
The words "some" and "many" are not the same as saying "you". And after reading the forums, yes, there are "some" folks that are ugly on the inside (I don't recall saying "you"). And really, there were only two points you made; you don't like fat people and think they should eat less, and you enjoy being single. My point is, don't discard or make generalizations about those you think eat too much...don't date them. And many enjoy their singleness, I know I do but I also know I'd like to share my life with a man. I enjoyed being married. But it is harder at this age.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 368
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 7:16:28 PM

... but over 50 people mostly want the people they date to be working towards a live in situation.
Makes dating harder for those only interested in long relationship where both parties keep their own homes.


This is my theory as well. Too many people in the 50+ range are more interested in a security blanket than a relationship based strictly on love. So they fast track the long dating procedure required to really get to know someone and go full steam ahead to the end goal of a "permanent" relationship-whatever form that takes. They want to make sure they have a built in nurse maid when their body and mind starts to fall apart in later life.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 369
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 8:39:31 PM
Only wish the problem was 20 lbs. overweight more like 50 or more.
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 370
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 9:07:39 PM
http://trendy-hairstyles-for-women.com/

Easter.......you're using a phony pic..???
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 371
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/5/2014 9:27:19 PM
Yes. She is:

http://trendy-hairstyles-for-women.com/photo-galleries/women-50-short-hairstyles/picture/1
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 372
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/6/2014 1:21:59 AM
^^Hilarious....hahahaha
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 373
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/6/2014 1:45:52 AM

Posted by EasterParadeHat:
"Males are too stupid to know there is a big fat middle between George Clooney and some fugly guy that looks like Santa Claus."

Plenty of people aged in their 40's and 50's are out there meeting other singles.
That was not a very nice thing to say about men you might potentially meet.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 374
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/6/2014 7:46:03 AM
At 59, a woman can:
---be well educated and reasonably intelligent;
-- be blessed with excellent health, capable of maintaining a very active lifestyle and has continued to work at remaining healthy by not taking that good health for granted;
--own her own home, have a solid retirement, have zero debt, and is happy to pay her own way as an equal partner;
--- have raised her children to be courteous, responsible adults themselves living a healthful lifestyle and well educated gainfully employed and off on their own;
--- hear on a regular basis, "you look beautiful";
---with open arms sustain a long term relationship as both a friend and a lover and continue to keep her heart open to just this

It doesn't matter a hill of beans. She is almost universally considered a decade (or more) too old for men her own age. Which leaves men her mother's age.


This accurately discloses how things are. Ready, you are perceptive and you express your thoughts well.

In my late teens and early twenties women near my age were age appropriate. At 61 women at least ten years younger than me are age appropriate. I find dating younger women is natural and very easy to do. I meet them everywhere. I never come on strong. I wait for them to at least give me a hint they are interested. Some approach me. Life is good.
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 375
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/6/2014 8:44:10 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^I am going to have to agree with likes2dance and Ready...at age 57, I am regularly contacted by much younger or older men. Sorry don't want to babysit a frat boy or be a nurse maid to decrepitude.
Men my age...meh...doesn't happen.
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