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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?      Home login  
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 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 476
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?Page 20 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
^^^ I once tried to tell a Ferrari dealer that my salary was just a number, he still wouldn't let me test drive the Ferrari F12berlinetta.
 CoralReefs
Joined: 5/31/2014
Msg: 477
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/7/2014 8:23:53 PM

Try telling women height is just a number-see how far that gets.


At 6'2'' this hasn't likely been much of an issue for you.

At 5'8'', if it's been issue for me, I would have no idea. Nobody has ever said, straight-out, "Sorry ... "

If age has been a brick wall for the majority of women here, then for that I'm truly sorry. I'm 58 and have no real interest in anybody younger than 53/54. Why should I? I'd like to be partnered with a woman who is as close to me as possible in lifestyle, common reference points, higher likelihood of having free time, less likelihood of children still at home. Freedom, to enjoy each other. This is the last leg. Hopefully it goes 20+ years. I want to share those years with a woman who's sitting where I am. And there are many, many women, 53+ who are fun, attractive, active and have great attitudes about life, family and relationships. Honestly, it feels like a bonanza and I personally would like to thank all the men in my age range who need their partner to be <50.

So for me it's easy. Do you remember anything about JFK's assassination? If you do, you're in.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 478
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/8/2014 4:42:48 AM

At 6'2'' this hasn't likely been much of an issue for you.

At 5'8'', if it's been issue for me, I would have no idea. Nobody has ever said, straight-out, "Sorry ... "

If age has been a brick wall for the majority of women here, then for that I'm truly sorry. I'm 58 and have no real interest in anybody younger than 53/54. Why should I? I'd like to be partnered with a woman who is as close to me as possible in lifestyle, common reference points, higher likelihood of having free time, less likelihood of children still at home. Freedom, to enjoy each other. This is the last leg. Hopefully it goes 20+ years. I want to share those years with a woman who's sitting where I am. And there are many, many women, 53+ who are fun, attractive, active and have great attitudes about life, family and relationships. Honestly, it feels like a bonanza and I personally would like to thank all the men in my age range who need their partner to be <50.


Height starts being a strong negative around 5.6, at 5.8 you are only about 2 inches shorter than the current average white American. It's tough to really see this bias clearly IRL (height), much easier to see with online dating. I think the same can be said for age, it's much more obvious with online dating.

I have been told directly my height was the reason for not meeting.

IMO none of this is a brick wall, it's more of a numbers game, if is were a gambling game, the odds of meeting someone decline as height decreases for men or age increases for women, at different rates as the difference becomes more pronounced.

I think this is more difficult for women because at a younger age they had no difficulty meeting men, if they were attractive they had beat them off with a stick. The change over time is obvious because they had been accustomed to getting a lot more attention.

For someone like myself, I have long been accustomed to having a limited dating pool, so it doesn't bother me. In fact, it's confusing to me when suddenly the dating pool gets much bigger.

I read a woman’s profile yesterday, it was amusing. She is very attractive, 29 years and doesn't want to meet any really old guys that are 33>34. Coincidentally she is is on POF and Chinese American. Made me chuckle while thinking of Methuselah.

But as you can see from this lady poster in MSG 145 in another thread, she is 61 and just met someone, it takes more effort but it happens.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/16259946datingPostpage6.aspx

BTW, there have always been men that wanted to date younger. That IMO isn't the main problem for older women, there isn't a strong bias against older men dating similar aged women. The main problem is there are a lot more women over 50 that want to date than men that want to date. At 60 it becomes even more lopsided. The odds of meeting someone change.

Don't worry, be happy is good advice.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 479
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/8/2014 4:48:12 AM

how many of the women you're talking about - the "now single 45+ women of beauty, grace, intellect, practical means, and accomplishment who are still very much alive and kicking with open arms and hearts" - are the same women that turn their noses up at a guy who is only 2" taller than them, because they can't wear their 4" heels with them?


The women I'm talking about haven't worn 4 inch heels in decades. Some since high school. However, as honest women, they'd probably be willing to confess to a closet (or two) containing more than a few breadbaskets filled with Nike Air Pegasus 28's, 29, and 30's (has anyone tried the 31's yet?) in a variety of hues. Except when hiking. Then nothing beats Merrell Moab Mid Gore-Tex in baby blue or blush. And for those little black dress affairs? Sandals. In strappy shades of Ecco leather. A woman can dance all night in 'em. And go home with her dancing shoes -- still on her feet:)
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 480
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/8/2014 5:03:44 AM
So if a woman can view a man's age relative to herself as some kind of an asset, then I don't know why men can't do exactly the same thing

This question speaks spot on to the crux of my befuddlement: I neither view a man's age relative to myself as an asset of any kind nor have a clue as to why anyone --- again, male or female --- would. But I am coming to appreciate that others do not share my sensibilities.

So in other words, you never noticed that men tend to prefer younger women (almost universally) and women tend to prefer older men (up to a point). Ok! Then I don't know what to tell you. I'm surprised that you're just now getting around to noticing any of this.


There are so many now single 45+ women of beauty, grace, intellect, practical means, and accomplishment who are still very much alive and kicking with open arms and hearts. They have loved and been loved. Is it not only natural that keep on believing they will have it again?

Yeah sure, they can believe their little hearts out, but only if they're willing to date a man who's getting that senior citizen discount at Denny's. How many men that age are still "very much alive and kicking"? Not many! And the number is getting smaller by the minute. Frank fell down the stairs so he'll never dance again. Another one bites the dust.

Because the men who are HER age are too busy dating (or aspiring to date) women who aren't a day over 38.

Exceptional people who never go beyond +/- 3 years duly noted.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 481
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/8/2014 8:45:47 AM
There are too many people who have been shopping at the Disney Magical Kingdom store and buying magic mirrors. They hang them up, and each morning, they say "Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all". Then-in their head-they hear the mirror saying "You are. You're actually 55? You don't look a day over 25. and you're just as sexy and hot and fit as you were in your early 20's." And those people believe it.

There are a lot of people who think 4 or 5 or more decades of aging (and aging by having kids) is not noticeable and look no different or less sexy than in their 20's. Older women don't understand why guys are not lining up at their door to ask them to go on dates like they were in her 20's. And older guys are wondering why their little black book isn't filled with women's phone numbers like it was in their 20's. They (both) also wonder why anybody who does contact them isn't the spitting image of their fantasy sex symbol. It's time to replace the mirror with a Walmart mirror that will reflect the real you.
 CoralReefs
Joined: 5/31/2014
Msg: 482
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/8/2014 8:05:53 PM

The main problem is there are a lot more women over 50 that want to date than men that want to date.


Dragon, you would ascribe to this what reason? I think you may be right but I'm curious.

But on the other hand, I did a quick search compilation, I think it was here, and found in my area more men in my age range than women. Something like a 6:5 ratio, I don't remember exactly.
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 483
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 9:53:55 AM

The women I'm talking about haven't worn 4 inch heels in decades. Some since high school. (...) And for those little black dress affairs? Sandals. In strappy shades of Ecco leather. A woman can dance all night in 'em. And go home with her dancing shoes -- still on her feet:)


Fair enough :) Cynicism aside, I have met a few like that, or at least "in that ballpark" - it's a good park :) We need to raise more women like that. Still looking for one for me ;)

They do seem to be a distinct minority these days - even in our (45+) age group, sooo many women are still "looking for my prince charming", for their "tall and dark", even with profile pics of just their (spiked heel) shoe. Saw a new profile the other day that headlined a song, "I Feel A Sin Comin' On" - "Give me tall dark and handsome, Mix it up with something strong"...etc. It's like they haven't grown up from their "fairy tales" days. While men are skewered for still "looking for Barbie, and 10-20 years younger", it's still socially acceptable - even encouraged - for women to be looking for their "Prince Charming" - and if they need a little lipo, botox, and silicone at our age to do it, that's easy enough. Today's "coupon book" in the mail has on its cover a youngish-looking woman in short-shorts, a tank-top being pulled up to reveal a flat, 16-yr old looking belly, saying, "A Younger, More NATURAL (caps mine) You". "Reshape with SmartLipo!". Natural my azz. Women beat up men for pursuing the youth (or falsified look thereof) that they pursue themselves.

Of course it isn't just a lot of women, our society is drenched in height-ism. espn . com's baseball lead article this morning? "Little Big Man - Contending with concerns over a 5-foot-5 big leaguer, Jose Altuve has silenced all doubters with his drive". And Dustin Pedroia of the RedSox can't do anything without his (lack of) height being the main topic. I think our society has a long way to go on these things.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 484
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:01:52 AM

A Younger, More NATURAL (caps mine) You". "Reshape with SmartLipo!". Natural my azz. Women beat up men for pursuing the youth (or falsified look thereof) that they pursue themselves. Women beat up men for pursuing the youth (or falsified look thereof) that they pursue themselves.


"Your_Move," your message is very thought-provoking and really resonates for singles in our age group. Sortof a "chicken and egg" conundrum involving dating appearance vs. dating reality it would seem. . . .

To illustrate, how about if we consider 45+ hair. In seeking to recapture their lost hair follicles, men (and the women who support this expenditure) spend something like 100 times that spent by ALS researchers. Truly. What can be said about such a statistic? More $$$ on "cures" for baldness than for a disease so insidiously relentlessly terminal that doctors dread dx. it more than any other with zero meds to halt its progression equal to a certain death for 80% within 18 -36 months? As for women's expenses on "coloring the grey"? I can't begin to guess what hair coloring products & services total annually. Probably enough to feed the hungry in any small US city. And yet forum threads on baldness and grey hair abound, each loaded with compelling thoughts of every mindset many articulately expressed.

At some point -------- and who is to say what exactly is that point ------ each of us will draw a line on our own personal beach. All non-physical attributes considered equal, who is more attractive for a 45+ man: a 50 year old woman for whom silicone breast implants and botox facial injections have left her looking a decade younger than her age which her profile says is 40 or one who has had none of these cosmetics and looks a decade younger courtesy of genes and lifestyle with a profile age of 50?

Is it any wonder that in Dating World 45+ it is harder to meet other people in their 50's?
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 485
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:23:12 AM

each of us will draw a line on our own personal beach


So true - ultimately, things change one person at a time. I'll take the natural genes/lifestyle approach. Those stats you gave are pretty sobering about our priorities. I wonder what % of people would admit to being shallow - vs what % would say society overall is? If no individuals are (or admit it), how is it society is?


Is it any wonder that in Dating World 45+ it is harder to meet other people in their 50's?

Add in this factor, too -- my last date was with someone who's profile listed "51". She admitted at the end of the date she was actually 61 and lied about her age. No botox, no silicone boobs, no lipo - cute, smart, could pass for 51. I still think it's wrong to lie about age though. Ironically, her profile restricts messages from anyone over 58...I always find it odd when people would reject a message from "themselves".
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 486
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 11:43:04 AM

Dragon, you would ascribe to this what reason? I think you may be right but I'm curious.

But on the other hand, I did a quick search compilation, I think it was here, and found in my area more men in my age range than women. Something like a 6:5 ratio, I don't remember exactly.


You are listed as 58 and 16066 is the zip code of the area in your profile.

men miles women age range
348 10 miles 234 50-55
244 10 miles 275 55-60

So somewhere about 55 there are more women (275) than men (244) looking for dates in your area. It's closer to 50 in Chicago where the ratio changes.

This ignores what age range both genders might be looking for, though culturally in the USA men tend to look for women a little younger, and women for men a little older, but not a great deal different in age. Posters who say 15 years and greater are really outliers and IRL are rare, like maybe 5%, but who knows for sure exactly what percent. The only stats available for age differences are marriage stats.

It's very easy to make a mistake with trying to use POF to derive such data. The system will automatically increase the distance if there aren't enough matches, and if you are logged in the system will know you a man searching for men. So you have to make sure you list as a female searching for a male and the distance remains the same. Also the system maxes out at 600, so you have to pick a range that is above the min but not above 600.

Why is this true?

Don't really know, women maybe have a greater desire for relationships or maybe hormones could be at play? ….

BUT statistically men always die younger than women everywhere in the world, between 4-7 years depending on a lot of things. So that alone would tend to say women remain heather longer than men, by about 5 years. And women also tend to focus more on their health all their lives, but I don't think that is the only reason they tend to live longer.

That is probably the biggest reason.

It's easy to observe the facts much harder to explain why.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 487
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 1:26:14 PM
who is more attractive for a 45+ man: a 50 year old woman for whom silicone breast implants and botox facial injections have left her looking a decade younger than her age which her profile says is 40 or one who has had none of these cosmetics and looks a decade younger courtesy of genes and lifestyle with a profile age of 50?


Based upon my personal experience upon close inspection we all look our age. Some look very good for their age, others not so good for their age. Most lie around the middle of the old bell curve. Plastic surgery is detectable both visually and tactilely. Who is kidding whom?

As for internet dating, I gave it up long ago because many of the women I met had lied about their age and/or their weight by preposterous amounts. I absolutely refuse to start a serious relationship with a liar. If she lies about age, a material fact, she will lie about anything I can imagine!
 abroncs
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 488
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 1:54:32 PM
the same women that turn their noses up at a guy who is only 2" taller than them, because they can't wear their 4" heels with them


My problem is, partially, the exact opposite. I keep meeting women 5'10" ++, who really like me and dig me, and I'm 5'4".

These women are kind and nice, and some of them are normal. Most of them are fat. Okay, last five women, two were revolting, so big, one was okay, and two were really gorgeous. Each of them were within ten years of my age, some older, some younger, some exactly my age.

I don't mind their elevation, I mind the elevation plus excess weight. These girls were kind and nice, age-appropriate, but their sheer mass made me feel intimidated. Even though they were submissive in the sense that they always yielded to my suggestions. Not in the snm or bnd sense, but you know, go to this restaurant, see that movie, or do this or do that on any given day. They also did not mind cooking, and I paid meals outside.

I don't want a mommy figure who is nice and i can hide behind her skirt. I want a woman who makes me feel like a man -- sass, resistence, and a bit of spine. One who makes men turn heads when we walk down the street, not because people say, "what the... a midget with a giant woman". I want, instead, people to turn around to look at us, and say, "say, what's that drop-dead gorgeous blonde with the huge hooters doing with that pathetic-looking fat luser walking down the street?"
 Sahasrara
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 489
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 1:59:01 PM
OP; I don't date women my age, for the same reason I won't join any club that would accept a guy like me as a member.
 abroncs
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 490
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 2:02:02 PM

Most lie about (around?) the middle of the old bell curve.


U r right. Most people lie about how fat they are in the middle. I am fat, fat, fat, and lo! I don't get dates on this site. Because I don't lie about how curvy I am in the middle.

Maybe i should take up liing. But then I'd meet other fat peopel who don't look like their age or weight or photo.

There is no way out of here...
 abroncs
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 491
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2014 2:05:52 PM

OP; I don't date women my age, for the same reason I won't join any club that would accept a guy like me as a member.


That's odd. Some clubs have a guy designated as the "member" of the club. And what are the qualifications? You have to be a prk. But how do you get yourself disqualified? You are too nice, or you are not straightforward, but subtle, soft (spoken) and sort of squooshi and cold-ish?

I never belonged to such a club. Unless I was the "member" and tactfully enough nobody told me that.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 492
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/11/2014 12:46:22 PM
Good on you, Ready! I hope things work out for you and your date-to-be.
 CoralReefs
Joined: 5/31/2014
Msg: 493
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/12/2014 1:55:52 PM
That's great news, Ready!

Absolutely not impossible.

My little bit 'o positive spin on all that's transpired for you to date: The wary-but-progressive approach, I think and on balance, leads to more initial meets that are surprisingly delightful.
 LuvFishes
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 494
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/25/2014 8:08:12 PM
At age 57... I think it's easier for the guys vs. women. When I view a male profile and he has a 15 to 20 yr span for dating preference... I stop reading. My take is arm candy and I'm past that. I love me and don't pretend to be anything but my age. Maybe it's because I work around young adults, I have great time with their activities.
Now if he's looking for laughter, fun and genuine real women who still loves live music, venues, and derives great pleasure in small, sweet gestures then I'm here. I am comfortable being single but know I am better with a mate. I come from a great guy who hit midlife crisis and we crashed/ burned. I have chosen yes I said chosen to remember all the wonderful things about marriage and family vs. the pain of betrayal. I love intimacy just as much as the next person but I am NO Booty Call, Don't care for Recreational Drug User either. He's out there and it's time I jumped back in and fish so to speak! I say to all of us "Let's Regroup and make it happen!"
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 495
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/25/2014 8:30:47 PM

At age 57... I think it's easier for the guys vs. women.


At age 58, that has not been my experience the last few years.


When I view a male profile and he has a 15 to 20 yr span for dating preference... .


15 to 20 years above or below their age, or 15 to 20 years with their age in the middle, or just 15 to 20 years below their age? I have no age restrictions because I am not going to presume my ideal partner's age ahead of time, since specific age is not relevant to their desire AND ability for a deep fulfilling relationship.


Maybe it's because I work around young adults, I have great time with their activities.


Virtually all of my interests are ageless.

So, if dating and meeting people is easier, I'm not seeing it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 496
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/26/2014 7:36:21 AM

At age 57... I think it's easier for the guys vs. women. When I view a male profile and he has a 15 to 20 yr span for dating preference... I stop reading. My take is arm candy and I'm past that.


I assume what you mean is someone who has a dating preference of 15 yo 20 years younger-not plus or minus 15 to 20 years. Guys are not going to consider a woman who is a senior citizen as arm candy.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 497
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/26/2014 8:27:21 AM
If a 57 year old man is looking to date a woman 15-20 years older than himself he would have to be a gerontophile.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 498
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/26/2014 9:02:52 AM
".....he would have to be a gerontophile."

Or a "She has a huge bank account and no heirs"-phile.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 499
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/26/2014 12:21:44 PM

If a 57 year old man is looking to date a woman 15-20 years older than himself he would have to be a gerontophile


I guess that explains why old poots get young women. Those women must be gerontophiles as well.
Probably has nothing at all to do with money, financial security, social status or trophies. Must be
because they like old people and all that entails.

I get it now.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 500
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/27/2014 8:21:08 AM
^^^

Older men and the younger women with them are called normal.
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