Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 76
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?Page 4 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
The word "soulmates" does not connote "match perfect."
 Mermaid2804
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 77
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2011 8:19:00 PM
Msg 85 "Meanwhile, the heathens grab the tiger by the tail and are having great time."
LOL....love the comment about the "heathens".

Msg 88 - It is not that I "can't stand men"....I can't stand having someone tell me what I am saying is my experience on this site is a false statement. I did not say all men, I said I have men, the plural term for more than one man, contact me on a daily basis looking for sex.

But OP, your question sure has ignited a very heated debate. It seems people feel very strongly in their opinions on this topic. Good job!
 Perigee123
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2011 8:27:30 PM
The word "soulmates" does not connote "match perfect."


Wikipedia - while not the most reliable of sources on occasion - does do a rather good job on it's definition:

Aristophanes presented a story about soulmates in The Symposium by Plato. It states that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God." Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

Bashert is a Yiddish word that means "destiny". It is often used in the context of one's divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called "basherte" (female) or "basherter" (male). It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.

I admit to a high level of serenity, but the (apparent) half of soul I posses has always been at peace with itself, if not with others. I assume that my other half, wherever it got to, would be homogeneous with the rest of it.

Or, you can ignore the term definition that has held sway for the past 2500 years (minus the past 20 or so since its resurgence as a fantasy), but then, you're just making up your own definition to fit your convenience.

"Smart." Is it really something a woman wants in a man?
 7276174338
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 79
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/9/2011 10:00:19 PM
I can't seem to find very many healthy men on here either. Most have a severe obesity problem and consider themselves "average". Unfortunately, they ruin it for others who are completely honest about being BBW or even medium or thin build, for that matter.
My profile is so detailed about physical characteristics that it probably scares people off. LOL I heard it put this way: "I may not get many good leads, but at least all the losers will be scared off." That's kind of blunt, but there is good reason behind it.
Just be specific on your profile about what the physical appearance, health, condition, traits are that you're looking for. I find the people that get offended are the ones that I am trying to avoid. Which kind of proves my point. !!
If a mature man reads it and is still interested, I hope he would have the fortitude (and honesty) to just say so and contact me anyways. What has he got to lose? If he can't handle an honest "sorry, not what I'm looking for" and still be secure in his own identity, you don't want to get to know him better anyways.
D
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 80
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/10/2011 8:46:47 AM
Hi, Perigee,

With regard to the word "soulmate," the operative word in my earlier definition is "connotation." This noted, it was really interesting to read the classical etymology of the word --- thanks for sharing it. Which of course allows me to address your last question: do women enjoy meeting "smart" men? Clearly you're a smart man, and yes, I do believe women very much appreciate having an good conversation with anyone, including a smart man:) On another note, please accept my empathy on your downsized employment outcome and my admiration for your perseverence in your most recent job. So many people near and dear to my heart are currently walking in your shoes, it certainly makes these middle-years evermore challenging! Here's hoping (even as the stock market is probably plummeting to god-knows-what ghastly lower number since yesterday) that the global economy begins to work in favor of the US. LOL. And with that statement, you must admit: my quixotic sensitilities regarding soulmate love are at the very least in synch with those connected to our present US economy
 Perigee123
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 81
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/10/2011 11:58:02 AM
Hiya, Ready;

Most kind of you to respond with such gentility to a post that could be construed as sharp. I tend to get a little...

.. a lot...

pedantic at times. ~grin~ My current situation demands words of no more than two syllables, so I think my inner Encylopedia Brown goes postal when it escapes the cage in the evening.

And my appreciation for your empathy; I assure you my situation is not dire. I think perhaps everyone should have a shot at passing through the underworld, just to see that a reversal of fortune is survivable. (Given a huge sense of whimsy and a monumental sense of self-worth...~Grin~) A little mid-life Kafka is better than a mid-life crisis any day of the week - at least you have a concrete condition to rail at.

It is, however, Amusing to see how I am percieved by others now. Clerks and Petty Archons assume I don't know what a whole bunch of ones are. It says a lot about them.

And, it says a lot about me - because, guaranteed, I thought the same way before.

Life is teaching master classes. If it hadn't cost so much, I'd absolutely love it.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 82
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/10/2011 1:09:47 PM
Hey, Perigee,

Given your previous expertise in the field of journalism, i would certainly expect that you tended (and still tend:) to get a little. . . as often as humanly possible.

As a former teacher of adolescents -- most of them listing English as their least fav subject and English teachers as the bane of their existence -- i spent most of my career in ecstacy anytime a given class submitted more than half their essay (replete with fragments, midplaced modifiers, and "interesting" conjugated variants of irregular verbs such as "to lie" or "to lay") assignments on time. Period!

So now we're back to that meal in Heaven or Hell allegory or yours:)

Regards!!

me
 Isis10
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 83
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/12/2011 1:14:56 PM
Yes, it very difficult to find a person who is intelligent, sexually active, fun and who wants just one woman. Seems most men change their women like their shoes and keep many near by for use.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/13/2011 2:43:44 AM
Msg 94

it's really hard to meet anyone of quality here.

Very astute observation. As a matter of fact, most members on this site are of the same opinion.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/13/2011 2:55:00 AM
Msg 104

For some reason most of the guys I meet are looking for someone 20 yrs younger.

And this comes from someone who posted on the same day in another forum thread:

To be honest Im not usually attracted to guys my own age.

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/13/2011 9:41:47 AM

Isis10:
Yes, it very difficult to find a person who is intelligent, sexually active, fun and who wants just one woman. Seems most men change their women like their shoes and keep many near by for use.


I think I meet most of those requirements. But I do notice one disconnect -- how can a man be sexually active unless he is out in the world, dating? And if he is out in the world, dating, and only interested in one woman (whom he is "sexually active" with), then he is not available to you, now is he?

Yes, I know, I am being picky, what you really meant to say was "still interested in sex and capable of performing", right?

Good luck in your search.
 7276174338
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 87
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/14/2011 12:26:33 PM
I'm finding that most men don't even read my profile - just respond to the pics. It creates a lot of confusion for both of us; I don't know why they are responding / contacting me when we're not looking for the same thing. It makes them look desperate.
I've just about decided it's time to just make friends of both sexes and forget about anything more meaningful.

--D
 RUsickofkissingfrogs
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 88
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/14/2011 1:36:50 PM
Paul is so right...lol......I look back when I was 49 and no way would I consider someone that w a s 50!

Friend of mine had this to share... (both men and women) the reason a lot of folks our age are single (men/women) because they have "issues"!....lol..

I think we can all agree who been out with someone they met on line has had their share of horror stories. Unfortunately on line sites are still the best thing going. You can walk into a bar and might see someone attractive.....because we are accustom to having all their information in front of us while doing a search you are suddenly back to old school not knowing a thing about her or should you approach her. Coupled with the lack of establishments that actually catered to people our age. Baker Street for a couple of hours then goes young. Same at Dan McGinnis , Major's and others.
Wished the owners of these types of place would skew their music etc to folks our age. We have more descrestionary income and damn loyal. People would flock to a place like this.......Remember if you build it ..they will come!!...
 Silver-Dove
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 89
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/15/2011 9:39:25 AM

It's even harder after 60.


And it keeps getting harder as the available pool gets smaller and smaller...and that includes online. Less older folk are comfortable with computers than younger ones.

As for the suggestions to widen my age limits, I am open to it! very much so. The problem is finding men who are willing to date above their age!

And when I do a search, i have scroll way down on each profile to find their age limits. I will not contact a man who has a cu off age limit way above my age....and if I just sit back and wit to be found, I will surely die alone! (Not that that's such a bad thing!) :-)
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 90
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/15/2011 4:26:45 PM
If you are charming or attractive...
no.
shouldn't be hard.

If you are not either.
Yes it is.

So work on the charm and attraction part
to better your results.

Hate to be blunt.
but at 50, you should be past any Pollyanna notions.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/15/2011 4:54:16 PM

And it keeps getting harder as the available pool gets smaller and smaller...and that includes online. Less older folk are comfortable with computers than younger ones.

As for the suggestions to widen my age limits, I am open to it! very much so. The problem is finding men who are willing to date above their age!

And when I do a search, i have scroll way down on each profile to find their age limits. I will not contact a man who has a cu off age limit way above my age....and if I just sit back and wit to be found, I will surely die alone! (Not that that's such a bad thing!) :-)

That's no joke, for sure. If I do a general search including only smoking, I get 0 matches across the country. And the more I add, like interests, the fewer I get - if there can be such a thing as minus zero.

If I look at who's online, there are plenty of men here my age, but they are also the ones with tons of restrictions, most of which are that they want someone a lot younger. The one really good match, IMO, lives about a mile away. We'd had a fairly long exchange of messages, and I suggested since he was so close, it would be nice to actually meet. Then he finally gets around to saying he's involved with someone now. He's on every site I'm on with basically the same profile, and not once in any of them does he even hint that he's seeing someone. I said fine, bring his lady friend along, I was also looking for any new friends since I haven't been here all that long. He's not interested in that in the least. Shrug. Mostly, I think it's their loss, they've prejudged me according to something and found me lacking - their problem, but it looks more and more like I'm gonna end up alone, too.
 happy2009woman
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/16/2011 7:18:22 PM
I have found that the majority of men in the mid-50's will say they want a woman who is aged 35 to their exact age--not even one year older. Many men will also have their upper age limit as 3-5 yrs younger than they are. That one I can't really figure out. If a guy is 53, does he really think there is that much difference between a 50 & 53 yr old woman? I have actually seen a couple of mid 50's guys whose lower age limit was 18! Now that's creepy--but thankfully unusual. I also find it rare when a guy's upper age limit is more than 2-3 yrs older than he is. I know it's the norm for women to be the same age or younger than men.

Funny thing, when I went to my high school reunion last year, the majority of women looked great--it was generally the men who had aged a lot, gone bald (which I do not mind) or had really let themselves go. So I think it's funny that it's the men who are so concerned about not dating women thei age.
 1noonelikeme
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 93
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 6:14:47 AM
I think it is all a funny joke to any of us who have reached 50 and can stillgo the distance. Life can really take its toll on peole physically and emotionally. There are plenty of very nice people who are willing to communicate and share. It always seems to come down to what u want in another person. What r u looking for ? People are precious and need to be shown respect and dignity for even reaching 50! Life can be good ,so dont limit yourself to just 50, age is just number !
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 94
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 6:59:28 AM
The responses to this thread ---along with several private messages from members sent directly to me --- overwhelmingly share experiences to support the notion that ageism is very much a factor in romantic potential. And the men who are most likely to exclude women within a decade of their own age are more often men who possess relatively high levels of financial solvency, physical health, and higher education.

I once asked a man such as the one above, "Why do you limit your dating to women at least a decade younger?" His reply, "Because I can." Of course life happens. Those of us who have lost "under 45" spouses/lovers have lived the reality that age is truly only a number, and age can turn on a proverbial dime.

So it does make a person pause and ask, "If life after 45 is even more fleeting and fragile than life before 45, why don't more people embrace an attitude of carpe diem with regard to the age of a potential lover? The Beatles' lovely minor key melody of "Eleanor Rigby," becomes a hauntingly lovely song for anyone actually hearing its lyrics which include the phrase . . . "All the lonely people. . . "

If you were a 55 year old lonely (as defined by "without a lover") man who had the chance to receive real deal true blue love from a 55 year old woman, why would you project 20 years into the future given the realities in the preceding two paragraphs of this message, and choose to be without love? Waiting and waiting for godot so to speak. . . alone with your determination to find love only with someone 45 or 35? Maybe you will.

And maybe you won't. . .
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:40:28 AM
Ready_Real, if I read your post carefully, it seems to me that you are answering your own questions.

You ask why a 55 year old man would choose to be alone, waiting for a woman 10 or even 20 years younger. Yet, in the same post, you have provided the answer.

Men who have “financial solvency, physical health, and higher education” look for younger women because they CAN attract, and be with, younger women. So the answer is, men who can attract younger women are going to do so. So your complaint is that the men who do not have education, money, and good health aren’t willing to settle for a woman their own age. But yet, YOU do not want a 55 year old man who does not have “education, money, and good health”. Catch 22?
 Kevjohns
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 96
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 9:38:33 AM
Well I am older, healthy and have a high level of financial security, and if I were availabe, age would never be a factor. I would be looking for a woman who was herself healthy and fit, sensitive, warm with a large capacity to love. The real issue is not age, imho, but attractiveness both on the emotional level and at least to some degree on the physical level. When I was thirty, I was never attracted to women in their fifties. Funny how that changes though, because now in my fifties, there are a number of women in that age bracket whom I find attractive. There is nothing that turns me off as quickly however is a woman who is critical or judgmental or controlling or overtly selfish, and unfortunately that encompasses a whole lot of women of all ages.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 97
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 11:32:01 AM
Dear ohenry and D. Duck,

Why would anyone who him --- or her --- self has a relatively solvent financial status, good health and higher education, be interested in pursuing a long term romance with someone of any age who does not? But this is not the point of my post:

Please consider a rereading : I state that 50something men in particular but not exclusive of 50something women (the subject of the OP's thread) who are relatively financially "solvent" (not synonymous with "wealthy" more definitively connoting "not in debilitating debt"), in good health and possessed of higher education, tend to EXclude women within a decade of their own age.

My question is: Why? Given that a 30-40something woman is not automatically more attractive or in better health guaranteeing higher life expectency, why is she placed at a higher premium by so many 50something men?
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 98
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:01:26 PM
Ready_Reel
The responses to this thread ---along with several private messages from members sent directly to me --- overwhelmingly share experiences to support the notion that ageism is very much a factor in romantic potential. And the men who are most likely to exclude women within a decade of their own age are more often men who possess relatively high levels of financial solvency, physical health, and higher education.

I once asked a man such as the one above, "Why do you limit your dating to women at least a decade younger?" His reply, "Because I can." Of course life happens. Those of us who have lost "under 45" spouses/lovers have lived the reality that age is truly only a number, and age can turn on a proverbial dime.

So it does make a person pause and ask, "If life after 45 is even more fleeting and fragile than life before 45, why don't more people embrace an attitude of carpe diem with regard to the age of a potential lover? The Beatles' lovely minor key melody of "Eleanor Rigby," becomes a hauntingly lovely song for anyone actually hearing its lyrics which include the phrase . . . "All the lonely people. . . "

If you were a 55 year old lonely (as defined by "without a lover") man who had the chance to receive real deal true blue love from a 55 year old woman, why would you project 20 years into the future given the realities in the preceding two paragraphs of this message, and choose to be without love? Waiting and waiting for godot so to speak. . . alone with your determination to find love only with someone 45 or 35? Maybe you will.

And maybe you won't. . .



It seems like you've put some stringent requirements on any potential mates, but when a man places similiar requirements you deam them petty, immature, unrealistic. You so completely disagree with them because the ones that you desire don't desire you.

Guess what they probably aren't going to change, you might have to, my guess is that isn't an option though.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 99
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:06:38 PM
Hard to find someone in their 50s, hard no, impossible probably.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 100
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 1:43:39 PM
[It seems like you've put some stringent requirements on any potential mates,]

Gosh! Do "relatively physically healthy, financially solvent, and educated" equal
"stringent requirements"?

????????
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?