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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?      Home login  
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 Kevjohns
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 101
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?Page 5 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

Gosh! Do "relatively physically healthy, financially solvent, and educated" equal "stringent requirements"?


LOL. Apparently yes.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 102
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/17/2011 5:55:17 PM
Unending frustation of older women: "why do men over 50 desire younger women"? Question: Why do older women care?

I could be wrong but I can't remember the last time a man started a topic on "Why do older women date younger men"? Or raised the subject within a current topic of discussion. We know it happens but most men don't care. This really seems to be a thorn in the side of the ladies: but why? It seems never ending.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 103
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/20/2011 6:50:54 PM
I don't have a hard time meeting men in their 50s. I have a hard time meeting *interesting* men in their 50s.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 104
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/22/2011 6:32:04 AM
I'm the OP and I think Meetup.com is a great idea I'm a member but have yet to go to a meetup. There's a lot of hiking meetups around this area which I'll have to join because they're apparently popular with men and women.
 Artful22
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 105
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/23/2011 1:08:01 PM
Not sure I entirely agree with you there Naked Lunch. I was away from PoF for a few years because I was busy doing things that interested me and expanded my world. I had become dubious of the online for many reasons anyway and figured if I don't meet someone and we click in real life, so be it. I've only dipped back into the pond for a look-see if anything has changed much and to try the service again.

When the writer said she wasn't meeting any one interesting over 50 I completely understood what she meant. There seem to be a lot of older men on this site who have little passion for life. They may have activities, credentials, etc., but they have lost their curiosity for the world and ability to be challenged by fresh ideas. It isn't true, as someone said earlier in this thread, that men seek younger women because they bring youthfulness to a relationship, just youth in age. Seems to me yoauthful attitude needs to be in you for any sort of equal relationship, and you either have it or you don't. If it's youth that's desired for physical appearance or innocence reasons that is one thing, but it's a sad person who thinks they can depend on someone else to bring them youth.
 deac2013
Joined: 7/14/2011
Msg: 106
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/25/2011 5:36:34 PM
I just read your post and thought I would put in my $.02.

As a man in my mid-50's, I have some of both of the profiles you mentioned above. I am fit and can do all the things you listed. I would not hesitate to take off on week-long backpacking trip in the mountains or other strenuous activity. I have had and continue to have a successful career.

Financially, however, I am not exactly reaping the benefits personally. I have a daughter in private HS and a son in college, so my personal lifestyle is very basic for at least a few more years.

What am I looking for? My search profile is 45 to 55. I admit I don't want someone older than me, but I don't want to raise another child either LOL.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we don't all fit the profiles you described. Maybe that makes me unique and that means my search will be easier.
 hoosyermama
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 107
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/27/2011 4:14:22 PM
Pointoffact I totally agree. I am always talking to men in their 50s who aren't even interested in dating anyone their own age. I am very youthful and active 50+ and it is very disappointing to know that I'm not considered dateable because of my age. As we enter into our twilight years, yes, it is about still having the attraction, but there has to be that common ground based on life experiences..difficult to get when your partner is so much younger. Its very disheartening!
 fishing4y
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 108
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:20:54 PM
Oh yes it seems everyone wants to be your friend but no one belives in getting married
or having a relationship over 50 years old. But I keep trying. I feel God will lead me to the wonderful christain man some day.
 hdgal51
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 109
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:41:24 AM
I'm 60 and have been single since I was 52. And I've found, as the years have past, it does get harder to meet people in my age group. Most men do not seem interested in dating me at all, and prefer younger women. I'm still attractive, active, healthy, and have little baggage, and my ex has been out of my life since the divorce. But I, too, have certain conditions of who I will date and how far I will travel. But it seems, not just on here, but on other "free" dating sites, there are a lot of lookers, and not many takers. I admit I'm damn tired, and very frustrated, of all the games on here, all the emailing back and forth forever and not getting the desired results. So, needless to say, I'll be leaving POF soon.
 IWONDER88
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 110
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:09:33 AM
I am an over 50 that has a good career. Can walk a mile in fact walk every day and try to stay in shape. I am amazed at the number of women who are not physically fit on this site. However I have met some women who after having an expensive meal have moved on to the next guy. I am not surprised at the number of people who have now contracted an illness from age. That is part of getting older. We all have baggage at this point in life and I beleive we all have things to work out. I also beleive if we communicate these things and are open and honest with the other person these issues are not insurmountable. However if you are not serious about finding a partner then you will continue to find flaws in people and not find the genuine person. I have found way to many games being played and less serious people who are actually looking for something besides a Friday nite date.
 IWONDER88
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 111
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:19:08 AM
Having only a few months on this iste I have only attempted to meet women my age and that has been challenge enough. What would I have to offer a 30 something? This is a topic in which I think everyone needs to look in the mirror and ask ourselves what are you really looking for. I am actually looking for a woman my age to have a real relationship not just dinner. If thats what I wanted I would talk to a 30 something. Figure out what you're looking for and be HONEST.
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 112
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 7:33:42 AM

NCFemale: ...The older men want younger.....

Generally speaking that's probably true and why many people miss the boat.
If attracted to a person with similar interests and feel they may be fun to meet/date then why be concerned with age. At 59 + 8 months I haven't found it any harder to meet people but finding that ideal right person is always a challenge regardless of your age.
 LSBF
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 113
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 9:36:41 AM
It's hard to meet anyone of any age, unless you're willng to go out on a limb. My big pick up line is "hi". Kidding a little, I dont' really pick people up. But it does start a conversation! Off all the grocery stores I could shop at, I go to the friendliest one where I sometimes run into friends and lots of people make eye contact. We have an outdoor Farmer's Market that's really popular, I try not to miss it. I like art openings, and non-profit fundraisers, and music festivals. Some I attend with girlfriends, some on my own. I've met people at all of them. This doesn't lead to me constantly dating, but it's lead to my last 2 boyfriends!
Go to public events and friendly places, make eye contact and smile, say hi. At worst you get no response, which costs you nothing. At best you get a "hi" back, a smile, and maybe a conversation. Don't follow up with "come here often?". Even "I like this place don't you? the art/trees/fruit selection is terrific". By then you'll know if she's interested in talking more. If not say nice talking to you, have a nice day, or just nod, smile and move on.
 LSBF
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 114
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 9:42:03 AM
I like what you posted and agree. I want someone fit, because I'm fit. I want to take hikes, travel, spend all day at a music festival. My daughter's off to college and I don't want to raise someone else's kids (again, been there done that). I'm hardworking but have a kid in college, so big bucks are not coming my way. They're not coming anyone's way, in this economy, and the dream of prince charming coming along when you're 50 (where HAS he been?) to provide the princesses with comfortable retirements is a joke, ladies, so get over it! We are all on our own, the most we can hope for is a loving faithful loyal partner to help us get through the rest of it! After 50 should be fun, I'm certainly hoping so!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 115
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 11:07:30 AM
I never had any problems meeting anyone at all until I moved from Alaska to the Lower 48. I was 54 then, and my husband was terminally ill. I could have used any friends, male or female, just someone to have a cup of coffee with and get out of the house rarely. Never happened. Then he died, I moved to a place where I could actually afford to live - and the whole bloody town shunned me. Since I can't drive, I've spent far too much time online in the past 4 years, and ***shrugs*** there is still no one interested in meeting me. Though I do have to admit that more than a few have been less than flattering because I'm actually on a dating site, when "it's obvious YOU don't need ANYONE in your life." They don't get that there's a difference, a big one, between 'want' and 'need' I guess.
 pydades
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 116
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 2:00:40 PM
As we get older we become more opinionated about our likes and dislikes. Been single for 12 years, dated some, seems like I get ask out mostly by married men or men in a relationship already. Just want an honest guy that can breathe on his own. Is that too much to ask??
 kitkatathome
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 117
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/28/2011 2:37:00 PM
Laha Math, very sage advice.........Does this include making eye contact, if I come out of my box?...lol
 Inkadinkado
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 118
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:42:58 AM
Actually, I've never dated anyone that wasn't within a year of my age, and would like to continue that trend. However, I may have to "go younger" in order to find someone that is in good enough shape and able to keep up with this "old man." Honestly not too crazy about that prospect as it's nice to be able to talk about things with your partner without getting the "Huh? Who is Cary Grant?" :D

To sum up: yes - it is difficult to meet someone in my age range that I'd want to spend serious time with, and I think that meeting somebody in person is still a better option than this online stuff, but that's just me.
 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 119
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 8/31/2011 2:31:41 PM
People in their 50's and up have had lots of social experiences, good and bad. They become more selective in what personalities they will "accept." If someone reminds them of, or has a similiar personality than a past bad experinece, thats it. game over. As we get older, we get set in our ways and just won't put up with the drama.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 120
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Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/1/2011 12:50:10 AM
i'm 62. my guy is 56. he found me and chose me over a 51 year old. most of my friends are in the 40's and 50's, some 60's. the ones in the 40's have just the same amount of hard time as the one in the 60's. to try to reverse their luck, many hide their age, lie, seek younger, etc. as for me, i just put myself forward with all the good and all the bad and risked.

it was not easy. met a lot of ***holes and candidates for anger management classes. then i asked the universe for help and concentrated on friends and activities. he found me very quickly. chemistry is chemistry. after him, many tried, but i just wasn't needy and had a taste of what it "could be", so why continue??? sooner or later, you have to proceed to the next stage and stop window shopping.

but for you, give it some oxygen to breathe and stop with the negatives and saying it cannot and will not ever happen. of course, they aren't gonna hop through your window! because if that is the depressed energy you give out or you just wait home alone, i absolutely assure you it won't ever happen!

other than that, let me share a personal joke. i have chronic lymes disease and my guy was a total germophobe!!! after making it clear, no handiwipes in the bedroom, our attraction on all levels was so strong, we made it happen. there was a big rift after a few months as he got scared of getting involved so soon after a very long marriage, but we cared enough and worked it out.

some of it is easy. some of it is not. but, it's worth it. even moreso because you get to know who YOU are. yes, many in their 50's meet people, as well as their 60's. if anything, i'd say the 40's are the hardest from what i've been hearing. so try meetup dot com for practice! or any other co-ed group. lots of ladies in dance classes, btw!!!!
 Kevjohns
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 121
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:03:28 AM
There is not much doubt the fifties are harder for women. Their dating pool is smaller, many guys their age are seeking younger and women have higher standards. They want a financially secure guy. Guys just want some chemistry.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 122
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:57:23 AM
I don't really find it hard to meet people.
In here it's sort of the luck of the draw. In real life, nice
people my age are everywhere.

The good news is I'm not in the same situation as I was when
I was in my early 20's. I'm not looking to start a family, not
looking to buy a house and plant roots, I'm not looking for
financial stability. That means the pool of people I'm actually
interested in is bigger, someone I might not be interested in
40 years ago could be interesting for the moment right now.
I'm not looking for someone I plan on spending 50 years with
anymore.


Or something like that.
 sportcars
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 123
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/1/2011 3:15:09 PM
alot woman in 50's own home and look for guy live with her then if she didnt like him then kicked him out ...plan and simple ....guys gotta watchout for that....i stay my own home...good luck guys
 itsjustakissaway
Joined: 6/17/2010
Msg: 124
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/1/2011 10:46:28 PM
I don't go anywhere that I could actually meet someone unless they run into me with their cart at the grocery store, and then I' kick their ass for smashing my cupcakes for the PTO meeting I have to be at in 10 minutes... yeah I'm one tough beatch...
 JAD2011
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 125
Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s?
Posted: 9/2/2011 2:06:48 PM
Oh my ... I'm like Army Mom ... if I wanted to be a "cougar" and date much younger I would be very popular. It seems that is all that emails me.

If I take the initiative and email a man ... (and I put in my searches 45 to 65) ... I get no response or a "no thank you ... you aren't my type" in return.

Finding someone to date (in their 50's or near) is almost impossible from my point of view. At least in my local (50 mile radius) area.

UGH!!!

JAD
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