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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financ      Home login  
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 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 151
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
This is BY FARRRRR! the most ridiculous thread I have ever seen on any website for any topic in my entire life. Hands down. No doubt about it. This isn't an old fashion opinion. Actually I think it is very very shallow to think that you can put a dollar figure on a relationship like this, it really does disgust me that somebody would even think like this. Its funny you said single mother and not single father and assumed the converse either isn't possible or a women shouldn't provide for the man with kids. i hope this thread gets deleted. Ughhh
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 152
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/19/2011 7:20:43 AM
I hope everyone read his profile. This guy has a few screws loose for sure.
 MOTORCYCLEMAN4U
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 153
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/23/2011 2:59:11 PM
He didn't have the fun their father should help not him.
 wildlifelover1979
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 154
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/24/2011 1:14:34 PM
I don't have this problem because I don't date with kids. Don' t want to see the father's face or be near him! Why should I have to pay for some kid that is not mine any way? That includes buying food, etc.

Now on the other hand I would do it if there was no man paying for bills and he wasn't apart of his life period. Basically the woman has to prove the guy is not paying and isn't apart of his life.
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 155
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:45:46 AM
There has only been two times in my life that I expected a man to HELP provide for my daughter. The first one being her father, which he didn’t do until he faced with no other choice but jail. The second was long term relationship in which we lived together and he did it freely on his own. He felt it was his obligation to step up.
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 156
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:20:22 PM
hey John
'him helping her with her expenses is the least he can do '
I think money issues have to be discuss between you and her, how much both earn and how you two want to spend your income as you are exclusive
'i feel he owes it to her'
to my understanding its like she doesnt want a man , you only need a woman
 Jdadd
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 157
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:41:44 PM
No i dont agree with you. You should not fill obligated to pay for someone elses shild. thats what child support is for. And if someone expects you to pay for there child, then while can.
 Imclassique
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 158
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:15:44 PM
Frankly he should help her in many ways, financially assist the family in some areas such as recreational persuits and holidays etc,and the mother to evenings out and treats as any relationship should and rightfully so.
why stigmatise her because she has adorable babies.
If you would date a solo woman you would do that too so why discriminate because she comes whih a beautiful family.
I find this rather hurtful demoralising and rather rude,
If the man has a good relationship with her and her children it is the right thing to do.
She should set her sights higher and dump him if he is using her.
If he does not want to assist her and ease her struggle then he should not date a woman with a family and frankly he needs to grow up.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 159
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/27/2011 5:26:05 AM

Frankly he should help her in many ways, financially assist the family in some areas such as recreational persuits and holidays etc,and the mother to evenings out and treats as any relationship should and rightfully so.
why stigmatise her because she has adorable babies.
If you would date a solo woman you would do that too so why discriminate because she comes whih a beautiful family.


I think the idea is based on what a poster so passionately discussed in a different forum....freedom of choice ....on can choose to date a single parent and the children who are part of the package....or they can choose not to assume the added issues and or liabilities that are easily understood.



She should set her sights higher and dump him if he is using her.
If he does not want to assist her and ease her struggle then he should not date a woman with a family and frankly he needs to grow up.


Poster type!

Perhaps the guy is the one who should have set his sights higher and not started going out with the individual in question who has children and is incapable of upholding their own responsibilities and requires someone else to pick up their financial requirements.

But then I see you list study as an occupation....so self reliance might not be a big issue for you?

Perhaps your handle is well named...Im Classic....as in I will be looking for a meal ticket to take care of me? from your own profile!


I am commencing study soon so I can be independent as I want to travel and live abroad, I want to come to Europe and the U.K, find a superb person and live happily ever after.


Now my own preference would be to find a woman who is self reliant and self supporting who can handle her own financial obligations while I handle my own financial obligations...but then life is a series of lessons.....and I was always brought up with the premise that woman were equally capable or should have the same opportunities or one should have the same rules and expectations for each gender....and all I see here ...is a case of special consideration and special rules because I am woman...I am woman with children?
 mftljs316
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 160
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:20:47 AM
No!!!! a woman who has kids should not accept financial help from someone she is "dating". I am a single mom of 2 kids and I would never accept money or allow a man I was dating to pay my bills. It makes a woman seem like that is the only reason to have a man in her life. It is the father of the child(ren) responsibility to help support the child, not some random boyfriend, even if it is a commited relationship. If the boyfriend wanted to pay for dinners out or pay for dates, then that is perfectly acceptable.
If the relationship has moved forward and they live together then of course the guy should pay his fair share of the living expenses.
 zink6122
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 161
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:24:04 PM
I personally love dating women with kids because I genuinely like to help provide for her and her kids. That's just my natural, ancient alpha male programming. With that said though, I also won't be taken advantage of. She would have to prove herself to be a rather spectacular woman who cares for her kids and is trying to make something of herself.

If a man knows she has kids, he can't reasonably expect not to help her. Like you said, it is a moral obligation, not necessarily a required one. I think any REAL man will help.
 fishpizza
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 162
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/3/2012 2:15:28 PM

That's just my natural, ancient alpha male programming.

natural alpha male programming is actually to spread your seed to as many women as possible.
 udmsarah312
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 163
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:03:40 AM
I would say no, unless you plan on long term relations with her. she has made it this far without any help. maybe after a year you could help out because chances are your ready to make things super serious...
 firesweetie
Joined: 12/31/2011
Msg: 164
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:33:42 AM
From my view as a single mom, I provide for my son and do not ask for help from the guy that I am dating. It is not his responsibility to provide for a child/or children that are not his. He can offer but I politely tell him no.
 T0uchM3
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 165
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:21:20 PM
I agree. As a single mom, I don't expect anyone but myself and my child's father to support him. Now with that being said, I don't see any problem with the guy understanding the financial restraints of raising a child on your own and offer to pay for the date itself. I don't personally think that the guy should have to pay for every date no matter what, so though I don't have a lot of disposable income, I invite my dates over to my place and cook for them, we watch movies, hang out and play guitar hero, or just go out and enjoy the sites. Walking around a beautiful park, window shopping, maybe grabbing a coffee and finding a nice bench to sit on while talking. I mean not everything is based on money. But definitely not the responsibility of the guy to support her child(ren).

If things progress to the point where you guys are living together, then a conversation needs to be had as to the proper splitting of the bills. I also don't believe in joining the finances until marriage. He shouldn't have to pay for the child care of the child. Food and utilities are a little tricky but seriously, unless you are feeding several teenage boys, splitting the cost of the food and the utilities is okay. Clothing the children unless gifts for birthday and christmas should be the parents responsibility. Now if the person because this really applies to both men and woman, should want to help support that child in any way they can, the parent of that child should not always expect it just in case things don't work out.

Just my opinion. Sorry it was long winded.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 166
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:39:55 PM
No

Unless they move in together or get married. He should offer to help out once in a while with babysitters fees when they date though... that would be nice.

YOUR kids are YOUR responsibility...
 newlysingle31
Joined: 12/14/2011
Msg: 167
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/24/2012 8:40:54 PM
Holy crap! I only needed the subject line to have an answer. After reading the actual post, I'm double sure.

HELLS NO!

If you start dating, you cover your own responsibilities, and she covers hers. She should still be capable of that once you become seriously involved.

If he moves in, then they need to come to an arrangement on shared household financial obligations such as rent, groceries, utilities, etc... Ditto if they are married.

If he should CHOOSE to help, then kudos to him so long as it's in a limited fashion. If it becomes a constant, one way street of his money going to her just because she has kids from some other guy, there's likely to be a lot of resentment there that will tear the relationship apart.

But OWES her for her attention? What about the attention he's showing her in return? Does that not count for anything? The LEAST he can do, morally, is return the same level of physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and financial support she shares with him. She makes time despite the demands of her kids? Well, he's giving up the pre-child freedom he's entitled to by not getting a woman pregnant in order to be with her.

I'm sorry John. I lived that with my ex, both before and after having a son. It's noble and great to be the hero, but when you never have someone else ride in to help with that burden that's not even yours to carry, you only end up burnt out.
 VTECturbo
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 168
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/26/2012 3:32:00 PM
If you do, you also might as well chop your balls off. You won't be needing those either.
 dadasaurus
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 169
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/29/2012 9:41:55 AM
someone elses problem man
 VTECturbo
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 170
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/29/2012 3:45:00 PM

Right, firstly I want to say I disagree with the original post. Unless the guy is living with a woman, he shouldnt help her out financially! SHE is responsible for providing for her kids.
However, this statement infuriates me!! A single mother is LUCKY to find someone?! Buddy, any guy that gets to be with me and be introduced to my fantastic children is the lucky one! Why is there such a stigma attached to single mothers?! Some of us get divorced, it doesnt work out, whatever...But to make out like we should feel GRATEFUL if w could find someone???!!! PUR-LEASE!


And apparently you cant read. That quote you posted says:

"I think that single mothers are lucky to find someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"

Look again at THIS part:

"someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"

THAT is the point he was making; not that single mothers are lucky to find someone, but that they are lucky to find someone that:

"will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"

Reading comprehension 101.
 honey7s
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 171
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/29/2012 10:21:34 PM
I made my children with the other parent.. if that parent can't meet his finacial responsibility than as a mom that's me job.. I hope to find a man who will be friend and an example of a man to my children..
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 172
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:49:37 AM
If a woman is into her man, she is not making a sacrifice to give him attention. Rather she wants to give it to him. In the beginning of the relationship I don't think guys should hand out money to any woman. Get established first. Once established I think it's okay to be a little generous, but not to have the women expect a pay out on a regular basis. The pay out should be love, affection, adoration, respect. etc.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 173
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 11:57:57 AM
Absolutely not they are not his kids so
 Skeptycal27
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 174
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 12:05:51 PM
Im a single mom of 2. One whose father disappeared for who knows what reasons. Maybe it was me he was ashamed of or maybe he wasnt ready to be a fathered. The others father i left because I wasnt situated to raise a 23 yr old. With that being said, Ive raised my children on my own. Im college educated and I did that while being pregnant. And I do not believe anyone is OBLIGATED to help out with another persons child/ren male and female alike.

As for some of the comments Ive read, there is no need to call this man the names and the like just because of his OPINION. Obviously he feels like thats something he HAS to do then thats him. No all women would take advantage of that. So you can call the woman who accepts his help a gold digger or compare her to a prostitute or an escort. Nor does she owe his D**k anything. If the man genuinely believes that he HAS to help her that often means he expects nothing in return.

Not saying that I would accept that because Im use to handling things on my own. And it is the responsibility of the PARENTS of the child/ren to provide for them financially. With that being said, it is the mans OPINION. Dont criticize him for how he thinks. Everyone does things differently.

I have been taking care of my children all this time. They get what they need from me.
 Skeptycal27
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 175
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 12:07:48 PM
to fix the typos *not, *cant
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