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 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 212
Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
For people who do not have a higher order of thinking? Are you kidding me? Super moms are so yesterday! You do what you can, you strive to be the best you can for your kids! Not for some potential date on POF. And exactly how many millionaire women do you really know? Do you have kids? Supermum? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 213
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:01:34 AM

I don't think all of them do, things were good for me in the dating realm for awhile, but not lately, but so much of my time has been focused on my kids...now the oldest is 21 and out on his own...youngest is 16 and I will be 48 in December, so I've started to go out more, who knows...maybe someone will come along that wants to date, but I know it won't happen if I don't get out.


There are so many women in your situation, it's hard to count. The problem I see is that a lot of us single guys online who are at the same age have not had a chance to have kids, or been denied the opportunity to raise them because of divorce and other situations. It's very hard for me to accept the idea of dating an empty-nester when I have brothers with very young children - and want some of my own.

I've also seen some empty-nesters who stayed married for the sake of their kids, then separate and realize single life is not that great. Some of these have unreasonable expectations because of what their former life was like, and expect the same - or better - from anyone new. I can't compete with an unknown expectation, no matter how reasonable it may seem to be.

That being said - GOOD FOR YOU to realize you have to get 'out there' and meet people. The computer is just a screen with a keyboard - not a real human being. Get offline as soon as you can.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 214
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:01:47 AM
oh and one more thing. i dont put on my profile that i am a single mom! there are too many wierdos out there! some guys on here are looking for single moms! women who put in the profile that they are single moms need to be very careful! thats like running around outside yelling that you live by yourself! i only wish there were a cure for stupid!
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 215
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:16:23 AM

oh and one more thing. i dont put on my profile that i am a single mom! there are too many wierdos out there! some guys on here are looking for single moms! women who put in the profile that they are single moms need to be very careful! thats like running around outside yelling that you live by yourself! i only wish there were a cure for stupid!


That makes utterly no sense whatsoever. I would assume ANYone who is 'Single' lives by themselves before I would assume they are living in Mom's basement or something. The percentage of pedophiles to non-pedophiles in here may be just a wee bit lower than you think. Good grief. If you have kids but say 'no' on your profile - you are lying, and it's a pretty damn big fib at that. You're not going to get honest people by being dishonest about yourself.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 216
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:19:39 AM
"they are your kids, not mine" equals, i dont give a crap about your kids i am just here for ass. and if a woman brings a guy into her life and she has kids she better make sure he is special! and the comment about being hot and sexy and all that was posted and it was about single moms. are you a single mom?
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 217
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:22:59 AM
just because your profile says you have kids dont mean you need to list ages! they could be over 18. and not all single people live alone, nor do they live in a basement! and if you think there arent any predators on here you are naive!
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 218
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 9:15:29 AM

just because your profile says you have kids dont mean you need to list ages! they could be over 18. and not all single people live alone, nor do they live in a basement! and if you think there arent any predators on here you are naive!


I am not naive about the idea that predators exist. No one is. But if you cower to the lowest common denominator, you're not going to find much better. Have faith that MOST of the guys in here don't have a criminal record! If you live in fear, predators WILL find you.

As far as listing details about your kids - THAT is something that can have a productive discussion - because there are a wide variety of opinions between individual women AND men about what is good/bad/prohibited from putting in your dating profile. There is probably another thread dealing with that specific subject already.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 219
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 9:43:47 AM

We didn't feel their heartbeat through the wall of your stomach... We were not there for the delivery, to name them, to be a proud parent . We were not there for their first steps, they didn't try to call us "dada" or whatever with their first words.... We didn't change their diapers... We didn't take them around to all the relatives each Xmas. We weren't there fror the first day of kindergarten, school, or to watch them ride their first bicycle... We weren't there for those nights when they were sick, or had an accident... or teething...
If they're older, we didn't help with their homework, their first crush... And so on...
In other words, we were not there for all those thousands of BONDING moments...



Thats ok cause most bio dads werent either! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 meg707
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 220
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 4:16:36 PM
I have 10 kids and I have gone out on dates, not just on line. I think most men are getting set in their ways, (just like women do) so maybe dating has become more of a chore instead of a fun,recreational social event.
I figure, I'm not in a hurry and if a relationship should develop that would be great, I'm not looking for a dad for my kids. A dates a date, a friends a friend and a relationship( with the right person) would be a positive addition.

Acceptance is difficult but when we do achieve it in certain situations than the problem of finding a date won't matter as much as it did before.
 sweet_n_shy82
Joined: 10/15/2011
Msg: 221
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 4:37:19 PM
i am a single mother, with no father involved, and dont have a babysitter i can call when ever. so i have found it is an issue. especially with men who have no kids. even if not in the begining, eventually the fact that i have a daughter and cant always get out, becomes an issue. i think if someone truly cares for you, it doesnt matter, and they will find ways to be with you even know you cant give them as much of your time as you want.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 222
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 4:44:56 PM
for me over time when you get to know someone if they really care for you, you wont need a babysitter all the time. you will do stuff together with the kids. and if it does not get to that point i would move on.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 223
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:03:54 PM
focus on your children...join single parents goups...so you meet other single parents... and rememeber your children are your first priority...
it is easy to meet a man... but to keep one and to remind them that htey have to be there for you and your children...
you are a package
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 224
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:12:24 AM
@ Creacion: Even granting that "multitasking" isn't PC-speak for "doing many things poorly", that sort of PC-speak just advises guys to give you a wide berth... just sayin'...

Arlo...
 Creacion
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 225
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/24/2011 7:22:20 AM
It is true, not all single mums have trouble dating.

 meg707
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 226
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/25/2011 8:09:33 PM
That was an interesting observation.
 livin71
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 227
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:59:09 PM
I have my kids 50% of the time and have encountered the same issue in that I am not always available at the drop of the hat. This has posed a problem dating even with woman who have kids. The way I see it is the right person will understand.
 1nozlnts
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 228
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 9:04:10 AM
Single father of 5 kids here and I am having all the bad luck. All the stuff I hear is hapenning to single mothers I am getting to. No child support, mother changes when she is going to see them, she moved outta state without telling anyone then cpl months later aka last week just shows up saying she is going to stay. And the dating thing good grief charlie brown is about as clean as I can say that deal. Its like everyone is using people or getting used and I am tired of it. Its like there is no way to find something worth while or its just a roll of the dice
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 229
view profile
History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 1:45:09 PM

Single father of 5 kids here and I am having all the bad luck. All the stuff I hear is hapenning to single mothers I am getting to. No child support, mother changes when she is going to see them, she moved outta state without telling anyone then cpl months later aka last week just shows up saying she is going to stay. And the dating thing good grief charlie brown is about as clean as I can say that deal. Its like everyone is using people or getting used and I am tired of it. Its like there is no way to find something worth while or its just a roll of the dice


Hang in there. When your children are grown, they will appreciate everything that you've done for them. Try not to worry about dating too much. Girlfriends come and go; your children will be yours for life. If a woman can't appreciate that, she isn't worth your time.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 230
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 5:16:56 PM
Actually no problem for me...Its called balancing your life out. I get asked out all the time, I choose who I will go on a date with.
So why are you having problems?
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 231
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:57:28 AM
A while back it stated on my profile that I had no children for privacy reasons. When men found out I did have children they'd say thing like, "not interested, trying to start my own little league" or "not into that, good luck" . It occurred to me being forthright would be less disappointing and that the latter message was written with intent since for a man to be interested I will need 'good luck'.

What I find is a lot of men without kids message me then when I meet them it is obvious that they're looking for a one night stand. I often wonder if I didn't have kids if that interest would go further. Hard to know since that person I once was is in the past. Now I have to keep on plugging away going from one coffee date to the other in hopes that one man will find that spark he is looking for whom is mature enough to accept the fact I have another man's offspring and come to terms with the relationship won't be exclusively the two of us, but sometimes the four of us .

Now I will go and read what others have written on this thread.
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 232
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:02:07 AM

I know this is going to sound bad, but it depends on how confident you are or how hot you are, Hot women and confident women with kids has no/ zero/ nada /bupkis problems on getting dates, average women with low or no self esteem, the ones worried about their weight, finances etc, has the most problems with dating.
Good point. I have been told on dates that I need to change my appearance. A few men have told me to cut my hair, colour it blond, wear makeup, and tighter clothing. So, this could have a lot to do with men not wanting to go on a second date with me since they cannot show me off. I think I would cry if I cut a foot of hair off to please men's tastes. :(
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 233
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:31:47 AM

oh and one more thing. i dont put on my profile that i am a single mom! there are too many wierdos out there! some guys on here are looking for single moms! women who put in the profile that they are single moms need to be very careful! thats like running around outside yelling that you live by yourself! i only wish there were a cure for stupid!
When it is stated in a woman's profile that she has kids, it's obvious she is a single mother. However, when this very important detail is hidden and men find out she has the plague (oops...I means children) the majority loose interest or want to meet up for a roll in the hay. Some men are cool with single moms while others are not. It depends on the man's mentality. I wonder if race plays a role in this mentality?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 234
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 5:11:03 PM

(despargne) A while back it stated on my profile that I had no children for privacy reasons. When men found out I did have children they'd say thing like, "not interested, trying to start my own little league" or "not into that, good luck" . It occurred to me being forthright would be less disappointing and that the latter message was written with intent since for a man to be interested I will need 'good luck'.


It's always a good idea to be upfront about this, and never a good idea to conceal it.


What I find is a lot of men without kids message me then when I meet them it is obvious that they're looking for a one night stand.


This happens to a lot of women, single mothers and not.


Now I have to keep on plugging away going from one coffee date to the other in hopes...


Like everyone else. But, you're pretty and you sound interesting. You'll have a better outcome than most.

Arlo...
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 235
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 2/2/2012 5:39:54 PM

Now I have to keep on plugging away going from one coffee date to the other in hopes that one man will find that spark he is looking for whom is mature enough to accept the fact I have another man's offspring and come to terms with the relationship won't be exclusively the two of us, but sometimes the four of us .

Now I will go and read what others have written on this thread.


So who granted you the knowledge to determine who is and who is not mature?

Would it be fair to either suggest you have a very enhanced view of who you are....or you simply fail to acknowledge that the guys equally have a right to decide if they wish to date you with your children and the potential financial and emotional requirements that easily are recognized as part of the package.

But you are right..some are cool with it...and some simply do not want or desire single mothers with children....but who are you to then suggest they lack maturity?....I have met single woman who will not date me because I am a single custodial father....I never suggested they were lacking maturity...just exercising their freedom of choice.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 236
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 5/22/2017 3:57:12 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_h-v7ew20g
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