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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do all single moms have problems with dating?      Home login  
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 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 226
Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Sorry guys - I'm from Minnesota. Nothing Canucks do really impresses me. Including play hockey.

We get all the same cold weather in the winter, PLUS the hot sticky crap like Florida in the summer.

If you think ethnic foods are impressive, I double-dog-dare you to have a plate of Lutefisk.

Can be either lock down this thread or get back to the subject at hand?

http://www.trephination.net/gallery/macros/derailed1.jpg
 1nozlnts
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 227
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 12:57:46 PM
I think its both single moms and dads cause I have 4 of mine and coordinating an actual one on one date is crazy plus the fact I don't want to get my kids involved in it is another. I don't want them to see the whole process but finding a baby sitter is hard to do as well. Also it seems that I am meeting all sorts of liars cheaters and fakes so I am beginning to wonder if its worth it especially since I pay for dating sites
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 228
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:21:12 PM

Sorry guys - I'm from Minnesota. Nothing Canucks do really impresses me. Including play hockey.
And no one from Minnesota impresses us... Twins, Wild or Vikings so we are even, but back the topic as you graciously pointed out

Do All single moms have problems with dating? Americans, Canadians, Aussies, Brits doesnt matter, some do and some don't, just look at the participants on this very thread, the rivers, lint spotters etc don't and some do its a matter of how one feels about one self I suspect
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 229
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:40:46 PM

John was raised in a Chicago suburb, along with his three siblings: younger brothers Billy and Jim and his ..... Place of birth, Chicago, Illinois, United States ...


Oh my ...

I stand corrected.
Thanks for pointing that out Captaino.

Next time I am in Midway,
I will keep my smirk to myself.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 230
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:49:57 PM

Can be either lock down this thread or get back to the subject at hand?


after you spent a paragraph addressing something off topic as well?
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 231
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 4:01:44 PM

I stand corrected.
Thanks for pointing that out Captaino


No biggie...

... and continue being smug, if you feel like it.

Every once in a while, I like to point out to Americans that Canada was the only country to really kick American ass in a war.

 almondjoy1988
Joined: 9/28/2010
Msg: 232
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/12/2011 5:38:35 PM
No you are not the only one. I am a single mom of one and I have one on the way. I have had several guys say oohhh no problem then when it comes down to meeting they have excuses on why they can't.
 creme_ofthecrop
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 233
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:59:04 AM
could be you and not the being a mom thing
 ThickNSweetGirl
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 234
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:57:46 PM
YES! I am so busy with school,work,being a PTA mom,I Coach kids soccer and baseball. Its hard to date. I really want that one person to spend forever with, but usually when a guy finds out you have kids they consider you damaged goods or something, UGH, And single dads are hard to find... So it can be hard, but just know it will happen when it happens, whatever you may be looking for.
 wooliepack
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 235
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History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/15/2011 8:29:35 PM
I reconnected with an old friend after fourteen years. She now has three kids from two different men, and one of those is a psychotic prison inmate. They can't keep him locked up forever, so when he gets out, he comes back to her, and she always takes him in-- even though he's tried more than once to kill her. I've stopped being involved with her. Twenty years ago, I wanted to marry her. Glad I missed that trainwreck!
My recentest ex has two smart kids in college, a home she can't afford, a horse, a career gone down the toilet, and a toxic ex who wants to embezzle their retirement account. Where could I fit in here? I tried to be her refuge, but after a few months she gave me the "I need time" talk and pretty much ended it then.
This was right before Christmas...
Her friends gave her a lot of heat for dumping me.
Another woman I became very attached to told me that she'd signed up her three kids for sports leagues, and it would take all her weekends, from March through November. I could have responded better, but it would have ended the same way. This was right before Christmas...
I can usually have a brief good time with a single mom, but it doesn't last.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 236
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/15/2011 8:40:45 PM
There are two problems one is leaving your children and not worrying about them or feeling guilty doing that alot. My daughter felt I was choosing someone else to do fun things with and it made her feel bad. The second problem I have had is that the guys i have dated who have no kids and never married seem annoyed to have my kids there. So it is a tough situation. The only time i was mentally free to go out was when my children with at my parents for the night. Then they didnt feel put off and I didnt have to worry about anything. Now I have older children who are in there 20s so it does not matter. It is tough because i wanted to spend as much time as i could with my kids. I still till this day feel bad for the time i chose to go out with a guy and ignore them.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 237
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/16/2011 7:19:42 AM
OP: you asked:

"Do all single moms have problems with dating?"

The answer is, no, just the ones who complain about it all the time.

Arlo...
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 238
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/16/2011 11:15:25 AM
O....MY....BACON...!!!!!

Seventies:

Are you kidding us?

The problem for you is leaving your children and not worrying about them?

How did you let them, pray tell, get through 13 years of public education for 8 hours a day, five days a week???

They were getting their feelings hurt at school too, you know, my kindergartener is complaining about another kinderpop saying the coloring skills are lacking, loser!

"felt you were choosing someone else to do fun things with?"

HELL YES. I am choosing someone else to do fun things with other than my child.

My sort of fun does not involve Chuckie Cheese, mac n cheese with apple sauce for dinner...or an extended period of watching Disney movies. That is not a fun date for me, however much I love my child.

I AM AN ADULT! Who is in serious need of some witty adult conversation, dressing up, dinner out, sipping wine or ginger ale, depending on location...an adult movie that wasn't made by Disney, discussing some interesting topic....with a MAN, not a munchkin.

I have spent and do spend a considerable amount of my life every day serving my child's needs. I am fully aware that if she was around me 24/7 I might monitor her so closely she can't even develop. The kid NEEDS to get out and explore and interact with others. That is not CHILD NEGLECT. That is called GROWING UP without Tyrannosaurus Mommy. Which I am.

But my job in her life is to be the BASE....the Operational Base she returns to for a hug, a bandaid, a PB&J , help with homework, graphic design on demand, and some rest and recreation before she goes back out in the world to become a citizen. I am not here TO BE her life. She is creating her life. She picked out her own best friend, whom she much prefers to me, I can tell you honestly. Because I'm not her best friend. I am Tyrannosaurus Mommy. (See Ice Age for reference.)

She has her own ideas and her own wants for her life. Were I to sacrifice all MY WANTS for MY LIFE, I doubt I would let her live her own life because I'd be trying to get her to choose what I wanted and let go by. (darn, even the toys that I think are sooooo cute, she thinks are just Meh.)

I cannot recall my mom ever worrying about this at all. I never needed her 100% attention. In fact, poor mom, after about six when those teachers taught us to read, I didn't even want her for bedtime stories anymore.

For heaven's sake, if my mother had been in constant radio contact with the chip implanted in my head, most of the fun in my childhood life would never have happened.

I do not feel bad for the time I choose to spend living my life. It impacts the kid minimally while also increasing connections to aunts and grammas. The PB&J's have never been neglected. The hugs and kisses and stern warnings and guidance and homework help are all still fully operational.

I am not her strait-jacket.
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 239
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/16/2011 1:37:34 PM
Seventiesbaby

if your child is jealous of you dating then you need to nip this in the bud

everyone needs personal space and as long as you are not neglecting her then she needs to deal with it, last thing anyone needs is to developea dependent mentality
 LeMonaLisa
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 240
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/19/2011 3:39:30 PM
I have not been one date in over a year and a half.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 241
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/19/2011 11:14:00 PM

I still till this day feel bad for the time i chose to go out with a guy and ignore them.


If you balance your family time & personal time well, your children will not feel ignored when you choose to have a night out. My children have spent the night at family members houses so i could have some adult time, & loved the change of scenery.

Also, i take in friends/family members children into my home for the night when their parents need some adult time, & they have a grand old time.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 242
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:16:08 PM
@Arlo you are such an ass! You do not even need to be on this thread because you do not have anything important to say. You really just talk out of your uneducated ass!
 Creacion
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 243
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:51:35 AM
Being a single mum is a state of mind, which should be no different to any other female/male dating.

Being a single mum is powerful. Single mums can do anything!
Be true to yourself and everything else falls into place.
I often refer to single mums as superwomen.
I don't advertise that I am a single mum. It's none of their business! If they pass go, maybe. Most won't pass go.
So, celebrate who you are. Treasure it and stand up tall. For being a mum is special and it's a gift to be a mum.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 244
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 3:20:06 PM
(Creacion) Being a single mum is a state of mind...


Are you sure? I thought it was both a biological fact, and a social one. Are you saying that I can become a single mum if I just get in the right state of mind?


Being a single mum is powerful. Single mums can do anything!


Oh, brother...

Arlo...
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 245
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:27:28 PM

Being a single mum is a state of mind

Are you saying it's a delusion?

Be true to yourself and everything else falls into place.

Yes, when your kids are around 18+, and if they're not overly coddled, and they have a job and an education, they'll move out and you can fall back into dating...


I often refer to single mums as superwomen.

As compared to????


I don't advertise that I am a single mum. It's none of their business! If they pass go, maybe.

If I was dating someone and she didn't disclose she was a single mom until after a few dates etc... I'd dump her on the spot....
Not for being a single mom, but for thinking that I didn't need to know... I'd worry what else she thought I didn't need to know...

For being a mum is special and it's a gift to be a mum.

And it's an even bigger gift to have a kid when you're in a relationship, got a good job and you're financially secure....
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 246
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:57:29 PM
^^^ There is no way on earth i would wait until my kids are 18 to date.

I can not imagine how miserable i would be, if since the day i gave birth at 19, i was still sitting here at 3q1, alone, lonely, no sex, no companionship, no romance, no male company, ewwwww no.

I much prefer the life i have lived, full of fun exciting dates, boyfriends, a marriage, giving birth to a second child, my beautiful wonderful son, the boyfriend i have now, the wonderful in-laws i aquired, and having a family life, a man that comes home to us every night, to be part of our family.
 NenaDeLume
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 247
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 8:42:12 PM
I don't think all of them do, things were good for me in the dating realm for awhile, but not lately, but so much of my time has been focused on my kids...now the oldest is 21 and out on his own...youngest is 16 and I will be 48 in December, so I've started to go out more, who knows...maybe someone will come along that wants to date, but I know it won't happen if I don't get out.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 248
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:19:12 AM
If you are a single mom and a guy does not like kids... to hell with him! It has nothing to do with looks. Guys who don't date women with kids are self-centered, selfish, and do not deserve the company of a single mom!
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 249
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:25:24 AM

Guys who don't date women with kids are self-centered, selfish, and do not deserve the company of a single mom!

Actually, this is the sort of comment that annoys many of us....
They are YOUR kids... They are not our kids...
That doesn't make us self-centered or selfish either...
Now, since YOU seem to think it does, kindly explain YOUR reasoning...
Just throwing out a comment like that, with no justification or logic behind it is not good enough...
 Creacion
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 250
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:44:20 AM
For people who do not understand higher order thinking.

"State of Mind": If you think being a single mum a burden, then it will be. If you make it no big deal, then it's not! It's that easy! Multitasking is what women do best.

"Be true to yourself": means to get your life in order such as: financial security, career options, post grad education, baby sitters, kids in private school, music, sports, etc.

Basically, it frees you up for dating whenever, whoever and not have a problem with dating.

"Supermum" status is reserved for women who are self sufficient and choose their date because they can. I don't see many single mums in this category. Instead, there are a lot of women that allow sociopsychological issues to continue. This limits the ability, the hunger, the drive to achieve millionaire status.. On the other hand, I do know mums in the supermum category and are self made multimillionaires because they took ownership of where their life was headed.

Your choice: make dating a problem or don't make it a problem. It's very simple. Start with yourself in mind.
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