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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do all single moms have problems with dating?      Home login  
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 ThickNSweetGirl
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 174
Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
YES! I am so busy with school,work,being a PTA mom,I Coach kids soccer and baseball. Its hard to date. I really want that one person to spend forever with, but usually when a guy finds out you have kids they consider you damaged goods or something, UGH, And single dads are hard to find... So it can be hard, but just know it will happen when it happens, whatever you may be looking for.
 wooliepack
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 175
view profile
History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/15/2011 8:29:35 PM
I reconnected with an old friend after fourteen years. She now has three kids from two different men, and one of those is a psychotic prison inmate. They can't keep him locked up forever, so when he gets out, he comes back to her, and she always takes him in-- even though he's tried more than once to kill her. I've stopped being involved with her. Twenty years ago, I wanted to marry her. Glad I missed that trainwreck!
My recentest ex has two smart kids in college, a home she can't afford, a horse, a career gone down the toilet, and a toxic ex who wants to embezzle their retirement account. Where could I fit in here? I tried to be her refuge, but after a few months she gave me the "I need time" talk and pretty much ended it then.
This was right before Christmas...
Her friends gave her a lot of heat for dumping me.
Another woman I became very attached to told me that she'd signed up her three kids for sports leagues, and it would take all her weekends, from March through November. I could have responded better, but it would have ended the same way. This was right before Christmas...
I can usually have a brief good time with a single mom, but it doesn't last.
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 178
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/16/2011 11:15:25 AM
O....MY....BACON...!!!!!

Seventies:

Are you kidding us?

The problem for you is leaving your children and not worrying about them?

How did you let them, pray tell, get through 13 years of public education for 8 hours a day, five days a week???

They were getting their feelings hurt at school too, you know, my kindergartener is complaining about another kinderpop saying the coloring skills are lacking, loser!

"felt you were choosing someone else to do fun things with?"

HELL YES. I am choosing someone else to do fun things with other than my child.

My sort of fun does not involve Chuckie Cheese, mac n cheese with apple sauce for dinner...or an extended period of watching Disney movies. That is not a fun date for me, however much I love my child.

I AM AN ADULT! Who is in serious need of some witty adult conversation, dressing up, dinner out, sipping wine or ginger ale, depending on location...an adult movie that wasn't made by Disney, discussing some interesting topic....with a MAN, not a munchkin.

I have spent and do spend a considerable amount of my life every day serving my child's needs. I am fully aware that if she was around me 24/7 I might monitor her so closely she can't even develop. The kid NEEDS to get out and explore and interact with others. That is not CHILD NEGLECT. That is called GROWING UP without Tyrannosaurus Mommy. Which I am.

But my job in her life is to be the BASE....the Operational Base she returns to for a hug, a bandaid, a PB&J , help with homework, graphic design on demand, and some rest and recreation before she goes back out in the world to become a citizen. I am not here TO BE her life. She is creating her life. She picked out her own best friend, whom she much prefers to me, I can tell you honestly. Because I'm not her best friend. I am Tyrannosaurus Mommy. (See Ice Age for reference.)

She has her own ideas and her own wants for her life. Were I to sacrifice all MY WANTS for MY LIFE, I doubt I would let her live her own life because I'd be trying to get her to choose what I wanted and let go by. (darn, even the toys that I think are sooooo cute, she thinks are just Meh.)

I cannot recall my mom ever worrying about this at all. I never needed her 100% attention. In fact, poor mom, after about six when those teachers taught us to read, I didn't even want her for bedtime stories anymore.

For heaven's sake, if my mother had been in constant radio contact with the chip implanted in my head, most of the fun in my childhood life would never have happened.

I do not feel bad for the time I choose to spend living my life. It impacts the kid minimally while also increasing connections to aunts and grammas. The PB&J's have never been neglected. The hugs and kisses and stern warnings and guidance and homework help are all still fully operational.

I am not her strait-jacket.
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 179
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/16/2011 1:37:34 PM
Seventiesbaby

if your child is jealous of you dating then you need to nip this in the bud

everyone needs personal space and as long as you are not neglecting her then she needs to deal with it, last thing anyone needs is to developea dependent mentality
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 181
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/19/2011 11:14:00 PM

I still till this day feel bad for the time i chose to go out with a guy and ignore them.


If you balance your family time & personal time well, your children will not feel ignored when you choose to have a night out. My children have spent the night at family members houses so i could have some adult time, & loved the change of scenery.

Also, i take in friends/family members children into my home for the night when their parents need some adult time, & they have a grand old time.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 182
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:16:08 PM
@Arlo you are such an ass! You do not even need to be on this thread because you do not have anything important to say. You really just talk out of your uneducated ass!
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 185
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:57:29 PM
^^^ There is no way on earth i would wait until my kids are 18 to date.

I can not imagine how miserable i would be, if since the day i gave birth at 19, i was still sitting here at 3q1, alone, lonely, no sex, no companionship, no romance, no male company, ewwwww no.

I much prefer the life i have lived, full of fun exciting dates, boyfriends, a marriage, giving birth to a second child, my beautiful wonderful son, the boyfriend i have now, the wonderful in-laws i aquired, and having a family life, a man that comes home to us every night, to be part of our family.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 186
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:19:12 AM
If you are a single mom and a guy does not like kids... to hell with him! It has nothing to do with looks. Guys who don't date women with kids are self-centered, selfish, and do not deserve the company of a single mom!
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 188
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:45:06 AM
oh becasue it takes a really good man to go out with possbily married a woman who has kids. and most men are too self-centered to even care about kids. some of the post on here in regards to looks and the single mom prove my point. and it is funny cause some of the guys who are saying stuff like... if you were hot you would not have an issue, or single moms let them selves go, they need to be sexy, or they are your kids not mine these guys need to look in the mirror! gees oh petes! and if i am going to date a guy and he says, "they are your kids" he anit worth the time of day! my child is more important to me then any man.
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 189
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:51:01 AM
For people who do not have a higher order of thinking? Are you kidding me? Super moms are so yesterday! You do what you can, you strive to be the best you can for your kids! Not for some potential date on POF. And exactly how many millionaire women do you really know? Do you have kids? Supermum? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 191
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:01:47 AM
oh and one more thing. i dont put on my profile that i am a single mom! there are too many wierdos out there! some guys on here are looking for single moms! women who put in the profile that they are single moms need to be very careful! thats like running around outside yelling that you live by yourself! i only wish there were a cure for stupid!
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 193
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:19:39 AM
"they are your kids, not mine" equals, i dont give a crap about your kids i am just here for ass. and if a woman brings a guy into her life and she has kids she better make sure he is special! and the comment about being hot and sexy and all that was posted and it was about single moms. are you a single mom?
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 194
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:22:59 AM
just because your profile says you have kids dont mean you need to list ages! they could be over 18. and not all single people live alone, nor do they live in a basement! and if you think there arent any predators on here you are naive!
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 196
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 9:43:47 AM

We didn't feel their heartbeat through the wall of your stomach... We were not there for the delivery, to name them, to be a proud parent . We were not there for their first steps, they didn't try to call us "dada" or whatever with their first words.... We didn't change their diapers... We didn't take them around to all the relatives each Xmas. We weren't there fror the first day of kindergarten, school, or to watch them ride their first bicycle... We weren't there for those nights when they were sick, or had an accident... or teething...
If they're older, we didn't help with their homework, their first crush... And so on...
In other words, we were not there for all those thousands of BONDING moments...



Thats ok cause most bio dads werent either! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 dolly419
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 198
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 4:44:56 PM
for me over time when you get to know someone if they really care for you, you wont need a babysitter all the time. you will do stuff together with the kids. and if it does not get to that point i would move on.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 199
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:03:54 PM
focus on your children...join single parents goups...so you meet other single parents... and rememeber your children are your first priority...
it is easy to meet a man... but to keep one and to remind them that htey have to be there for you and your children...
you are a package
 livin71
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 202
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:59:09 PM
I have my kids 50% of the time and have encountered the same issue in that I am not always available at the drop of the hat. This has posed a problem dating even with woman who have kids. The way I see it is the right person will understand.
 1nozlnts
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 203
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 9:04:10 AM
Single father of 5 kids here and I am having all the bad luck. All the stuff I hear is hapenning to single mothers I am getting to. No child support, mother changes when she is going to see them, she moved outta state without telling anyone then cpl months later aka last week just shows up saying she is going to stay. And the dating thing good grief charlie brown is about as clean as I can say that deal. Its like everyone is using people or getting used and I am tired of it. Its like there is no way to find something worth while or its just a roll of the dice
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 204
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History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 1:45:09 PM

Single father of 5 kids here and I am having all the bad luck. All the stuff I hear is hapenning to single mothers I am getting to. No child support, mother changes when she is going to see them, she moved outta state without telling anyone then cpl months later aka last week just shows up saying she is going to stay. And the dating thing good grief charlie brown is about as clean as I can say that deal. Its like everyone is using people or getting used and I am tired of it. Its like there is no way to find something worth while or its just a roll of the dice


Hang in there. When your children are grown, they will appreciate everything that you've done for them. Try not to worry about dating too much. Girlfriends come and go; your children will be yours for life. If a woman can't appreciate that, she isn't worth your time.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 205
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/29/2012 5:16:56 PM
Actually no problem for me...Its called balancing your life out. I get asked out all the time, I choose who I will go on a date with.
So why are you having problems?
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 206
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:57:28 AM
A while back it stated on my profile that I had no children for privacy reasons. When men found out I did have children they'd say thing like, "not interested, trying to start my own little league" or "not into that, good luck" . It occurred to me being forthright would be less disappointing and that the latter message was written with intent since for a man to be interested I will need 'good luck'.

What I find is a lot of men without kids message me then when I meet them it is obvious that they're looking for a one night stand. I often wonder if I didn't have kids if that interest would go further. Hard to know since that person I once was is in the past. Now I have to keep on plugging away going from one coffee date to the other in hopes that one man will find that spark he is looking for whom is mature enough to accept the fact I have another man's offspring and come to terms with the relationship won't be exclusively the two of us, but sometimes the four of us .

Now I will go and read what others have written on this thread.
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 207
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:02:07 AM

I know this is going to sound bad, but it depends on how confident you are or how hot you are, Hot women and confident women with kids has no/ zero/ nada /bupkis problems on getting dates, average women with low or no self esteem, the ones worried about their weight, finances etc, has the most problems with dating.
Good point. I have been told on dates that I need to change my appearance. A few men have told me to cut my hair, colour it blond, wear makeup, and tighter clothing. So, this could have a lot to do with men not wanting to go on a second date with me since they cannot show me off. I think I would cry if I cut a foot of hair off to please men's tastes. :(
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 208
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 1/30/2012 9:31:47 AM

oh and one more thing. i dont put on my profile that i am a single mom! there are too many wierdos out there! some guys on here are looking for single moms! women who put in the profile that they are single moms need to be very careful! thats like running around outside yelling that you live by yourself! i only wish there were a cure for stupid!
When it is stated in a woman's profile that she has kids, it's obvious she is a single mother. However, when this very important detail is hidden and men find out she has the plague (oops...I means children) the majority loose interest or want to meet up for a roll in the hay. Some men are cool with single moms while others are not. It depends on the man's mentality. I wonder if race plays a role in this mentality?
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 210
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 2/2/2012 5:39:54 PM

Now I have to keep on plugging away going from one coffee date to the other in hopes that one man will find that spark he is looking for whom is mature enough to accept the fact I have another man's offspring and come to terms with the relationship won't be exclusively the two of us, but sometimes the four of us .

Now I will go and read what others have written on this thread.


So who granted you the knowledge to determine who is and who is not mature?

Would it be fair to either suggest you have a very enhanced view of who you are....or you simply fail to acknowledge that the guys equally have a right to decide if they wish to date you with your children and the potential financial and emotional requirements that easily are recognized as part of the package.

But you are right..some are cool with it...and some simply do not want or desire single mothers with children....but who are you to then suggest they lack maturity?....I have met single woman who will not date me because I am a single custodial father....I never suggested they were lacking maturity...just exercising their freedom of choice.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 211
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 5/22/2017 3:57:12 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_h-v7ew20g
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