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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do all single moms have problems with dating?      Home login  
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 onemoretimeforfun
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 26
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Hey thought I'd drop you a note ..no not an old perv from Canada..I will say this though you are attractive and there are guys like me who are looking souly for single mom type girls..I for one am not through with being a father and am addicted to being a provider..not very romantic but there it is lol..so I think the problem your having is self inflicked your not putting yourself out there enough..I mean look at you ..your gourgous,who would want to be with you..get a sitter and get out there with the girls some night soon and land that guy,.I'd be falling all over myself to impress you if you were here and I was a few years younger..ok ok more then a few years but you get my point..All the best Dean
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 27
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/20/2011 9:47:13 PM
yeah, but I was just too busy

now my youngest will be turning 13 things are a little more settled and I could expand my 'warmth' toward people outside my family and immediate friends...

now I just have to find the desire to share my energy and interests with another person in a romantic way again
 doggle65
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 28
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/23/2011 1:05:04 PM
LovelyBaker.......

The single moms who choose to take a Main Picture of themselves after taking a sh*t in a public restroom should just stick with sh*tty men.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 29
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/23/2011 2:16:38 PM
Well some of us only have one mirror in our house! Just because you take a photo using a mirror in the bathroom doesn't mean that you just went. Why are you so rude anyway???
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 30
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:33:09 PM
I had problems going out because I couldn't afford to pay a sitter,& I didn't have any family to help, only on rare occasions. So I started trading babysitting with a friend who was also a single mom. Sometimes we put out not available vibes & don't realize it. Maybe you aren't going to the right places to meet people. Summer brings so many places to go with the kids during the day, fests, the zoo, maybe you'll meet a single Dad at one of those places with his kids. Get out there now, it doesn't get any easier as you get older. I had issues finding a quality guy. Some men didn't want a relationship with me because I was a single mom, but they sure didn't have a problem trying to use me for sex. I would weed those losers out asap. Stay active & out there, the right guy will come along. It's better to be unattached then to be with a guy who's not the right one for you. Give it time, it takes time.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 31
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:41:59 PM
Was doogle directing that insulting comment to lovely baker? That was so rude, no class at all there. It does not look like you took your pic in a public bathroom. The comment about the bodily functions was uncalled for. Ignore him & his stupid comments that are insulting, demeaning and degrading, he obviously has no class. That was uncalled for and mean.
 batata1219
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 32
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/25/2011 9:44:20 PM
I read a bits and pieces of the comments within the discussion and everyone seemed to have a valid point.

Yes, it can be hard, but only if you make allow it to be. Mypregnancy was MISERABLE. Down 60lbs in first trimester, surgery, 6 months bedrest, then the labor and all the weight back after along with post-pardome and sickness. However, I choose to leave all of the downfalls behind and remember that I have a beautiful daughter and I wouldn't trade her for the world. When we put our kids first, that does not mean we have to stop living. If you truly desire to have a relationship, then you HAVE to put yourself out there. I am not saying to settle for just anyone, but give someone a chance. Yes, there are insecurities. For instance, I am plus-sized, single mom, looking for a new job now, and living with my parents until I finish school so I can regain everything I lost while I was on bedrest. So!? Why should any of that stop me? I can change, and, actually, someone may even accept me for how right now. Change how you perceive yourself. In example, I am a mother trying to better herself while exploring what life has to offer. That makes you seem like you have room for adventure and love and life. Kids do not have to tie you down. I enjoy being with my daughter, but I need "mommy time" just as much as the next person. Lol.

The point is, you are only single because you allow yourself to be single. Take it how you want, but it's the truth in the end. Put yourself out there. It may not always result in Prince Charming, but it sure helps you figure out what you really want. May even make you feel better about yourself. Shoot! Slip on a sexy dress and look good for yourself! Lol. It sure beats the hell out of blogging about being lonely. Gotta love yourself before anyone else can. :)
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 33
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/25/2011 10:33:55 PM
I think single parents ( not just single moms) who are physically unattractive to the opposite set and have some complex issues of finances, problematic exes and multiple children, will generally have a harder time dating than single parents without those circumstances.

I think single parents who have a good career, good health, stay fit, work hard to become or stay attractive, have a non conflict oriented relationship with their ex and have a well mannered child, will be at a distinct advantage.
 doggle65
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 34
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:22:04 AM
My friends have no problem taking a good picture of me and know I am on here...no reason to silly ass superficial one of yourself unless...Here, I bought you you two a corndog Lovely and Cougarvamp for what you need in real life.
 mister_right
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 35
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/26/2011 7:56:07 AM
I am going start with saying I am a single dad with my kids living with me almost full time. In fairness I will also point out they are teenagers so I know its different then having young children.
Moms we all know you love your kids, we as dads love our children just as much, we just act differently about it. I believe it comes from a mind set, I myself am trying to prepare my children for their life, the life that begins when they move out. I find MOST single moms I have dated are trying to take care of their children.
I understand this is a fundamental difference between the sexes however if you have a teenager you cant leave alone then I am questioning your parenting.
If you have a child who is older then 10 who cant feed, bathe, serve them self or needs your help to go to the bathroom, barring disabilities I am questioning you as a parent.
The long and short of it gets to be at what point do you cut the umbilical cord? I have gone out with a mom whos 8 year old sleeps with her.... uhhhhh creepy
Now with all this being said I absolutely love good kids, I spend a ton of time with my kids, I spend time with my kids friends, I would spend time with someone I went out with kids as long as they arent suckling at the time.
I dont even mind playing second fiddle when its needed, but if its always needed because you have never taught your child to be independent then should know that you created the situation, and YOU will either have to change it or deal with the consequences.
 Sydney0475
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 36
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/26/2011 5:31:27 PM
I have been divorced for four years now and have been on one coffee date that lasted about fifteen minutes and included other people. But I like to look at it as a baby step in the right direction.

In all honesty when I think about having an honest to goodness "partner" again in my life my children are all much older than they are now, and independant enough to give me both more time and energy to commit to a relationship.

In the meantime though it would be nice to make a connection, but I do believe that I self-sabotage. Having that sense of mommy-responsibility can be an excuse to not look too hard maybe? Fear of rejection maybe?

I have been told, too, that when my friends and I go out to clubs or wherever that I still act married. It's not easy to switch that attitude for me and I very rarely look around or make eye contact with anyone. Let alone smile or flirt or try and make a connection with someone.

And men are *work*. SO much effort sometimes!
lol - I kid, anything worth while is worth the effort you put into it.

Good luck!
 ren2011
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 37
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/28/2011 2:57:41 PM
Whole 9 Yards makes a very valid point. Having been on the receiving end of a breakup and watching how it impacted my sons, it is very difficult for a person to grow attached to a child and have to walk away because the relationship isn't working out. I'm a strong believer that it is best that a couple break up than stay together because of children, even if they are not biologically related to you. Children need to see healthy role models, not people playing house.

Mister_Right-yeah, the whole sleeping in the bed thing....that speaks to a whole other issue.

I agree with the previous posters who say that a big part of the problem is single parents using that as a crutch to hide behind-often it is used to mask issues of self-esteem, fear of rejection, and emotional pain.
 DesertGem68
Joined: 6/18/2010
Msg: 38
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/28/2011 9:56:55 PM
[5... Your kid(s) are related to YOU. Not me, not to any guy other than the so called 'loser', 'sperm donor', 'baby daddy' etc that you had no problem fcuking and sucking with, and getting impregnated by.... However now, you expect the next guy to be of a higher standard to raise the result of all that sperm your ex left in you... How nice...]
Ok so as I was reading this and I had to wonder what age range people are here. This particular piece appears to be aimed at teens and 20 somethings who got knocked up and left. That certainly is NOT the case for ALL single moms. Many of us myself included were in committed relationships and even married. Some of these kids were even planned (gasp). Divorced parents account for a significant portion of single parents.
I'm in my 40s, college educated with a full time job that comes with benefits. I'm certainly not looking for a daddy or any financial assistance. I just want to meet someone who is patient and is willing to take the package deal. If one doesn't want to date a single parent...great, keep moving. What annoys me is the generalizations. It kinda makes trying to date a bit discouraging.
 beachbear
Joined: 11/7/2007
Msg: 39
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/31/2011 6:28:10 PM
Depends what the guys are lookin for too because you can be a hot mom but most guys are not going to stick around after mommy gets some especially if the kid or kids are young because for a single guy thats alot of shock when they have their little fits. So I believe hot moms will have a harder time finding a real knight in shining armor because alot of time wasted on men trying to steel the booty where as average looking moms with extra padding will usually get attention from guys who are not only into looks but want a relationship.
 lulubree
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 40
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/31/2011 8:27:01 PM
I have to say i agree I have been single for nearly a year and have not been out on one date it's very disheartening I have not let myself go and think I am fairly attractive I make as much time as I can for myself when they are not with me but still nothing I get that it's a less than ideal circumstance but also feel that I am a good woman being passed up for no reason there are times when i just want to give up but I still have a part of me that wants a connection with someone else so it is a slippery slope hun and if you find the magic key that suddenly changes it please let me know lol
 Bladesmith81801
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 41
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/31/2011 9:35:46 PM
"It is a war out there .. what are your weapons and how do they compare to those of your competitors ?"

Pretty sure thats not the best worldview to have of the pursuit of a loving relationship.
 gothicgirl86
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 42
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/2/2011 6:34:18 PM
Seriously funkymonkey? Sounds like total bs to me. If a man can't accept your children, he's not worth it.
 CyndiB2011
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 43
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:13:32 PM
To answer your question, "If you just want sex then you need to move on!!!!! " "why women put that on their profiles.

We put that on there because we are tired of meeting men who only think with their little head and only have sex on the brain. Sure this is a dating site but there is more to dating than casual sex. I know there are all kinds of people on here but the majority of the men that have contacted me want to talk sexual before they even ask to meet me. Talking about "YAWN". They immediately get deleted. If I wanted to be a whore, I'd be a rich whore and I wouldn't be looking for someone to date on a website. I'm just saying...

No offense intended....
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 44
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:20:09 PM
All I can say to single moms out there is if you want more dates and more dating options IMHO, it will require you to make yourself and your situation as attractive as possible.

The first would be things like working out, getting some new clothes, trying a new haircut, smiling more, maybe losing some weight, getting a makeover. The better a woman looks to most men, the more dating options she typically has. Not exactly a big reveal there.


The second would be getting a good career, getting educated, having a well disciplined child, getting good boundaries with the ex, creating time to meet and interact with other adults besides those that are kid related.

Maybe that's just a concept that is offensive to many women out there, I don't know, the idea that anyone can increase their dating options with hard work and it's not some game of "Well people should accept me for me no matter what!" I find usually the people who demand that the most tend to give it the least.
 CyndiB2011
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 45
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:55:58 AM
You make a very valid point and I agree to a point but try to understand that there are some real crazy people on here and there are actually a lot of women on here that are just looking for sex. With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile? Also, that really doesn't have to be a negative comment. Some men appreciate a woman with morals.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 46
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:07:37 AM

You make a very valid point and I agree to a point but try to understand that there are some real crazy people on here and there are actually a lot of women on here that are just looking for sex. With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile? Also, that really doesn't have to be a negative comment. Some men appreciate a woman with morals.


This is actually similar to what I was talking about in another thread. Stating things like "not looking for just sex," "looking for no drama," etc. are pretty much a given unless stated otherwise. And by taking the time to iterate it, all you're doing is telling male readers that you having a good share of baggage and/or that you're jaded.


With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile?

The particular things that you're talking about go without saying.


Some men appreciate a woman with morals.

I would go so far as to say -most- men. However, writing a bunch of negative information doesn't necessarily say anything about your moral compass. People can be moral -and- damaged.
 sassy0913
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 47
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 10:29:49 AM
I have problems dating, mainly because the guys I meet (on here especially) want to do something NOW vise giving me time to make plans for a sitter. I'm not a single mom by choice, I was married had kids during my marriage , got divorced and now here I am. I don't want guys to meet my kids because as someone mentioned breaking up with one person is hard enough I don't want my kids caught up in that.

Here's the deal though. I don't really care anymore that I have a hard time. Good things are worth the wait. I no longer wait for a guy to go out and have fun. I find a sitter and I go out, if i meet someone great if not cool.

I am friends with my ex, our marriage didn't work out but we put our kids first some guys have had issued with me and my ex being friends....well news flash we got divorced for a reason.

Someone will come along in time. I'm 28 which in my opinion is still pretty young, and I am picky. Im not looking for a baby daddy my kids have one of those, but long run if things work out the guy needs to have the potential to like my kids.

I have other things working against me like being in the military for some reason that seems to shy guys away, maybe its the moving maybe its something else...idk... but heres the deal. I am who I am they can accept it or not. I'm happy with me and someone else one day will be happy with me too.

You have to find a way to be happy with yourself before you can really date.
 WildAndFree3
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 48
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:22:32 PM
I don't have any problems with being asked out, just with finding good child care in the evening. I think the biggest key to getting asked out is just talking about yourself to the guy and let them get to know you. So many single parents are so used to putting their kids first all the time that they will just talk about their kids.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 49
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 8:58:31 PM
I was married when I had my kids. I am working full time and taking care of my own myself. I am just looking for someone to share my life with that will accept a pre-made family. It seems to me most men think really low of single moms because of the generalizations made. Not all of us got pregnant at a young age without being married.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 50
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 6:45:41 AM

Why is it that you, and so many other single moms have trouble understanding that once you have a kid(s), that you are going to have trouble dating...?


Do all single moms have problems with dating?

I've never had a problem 'dating' as a single mom. Just like anything else worth while... it takes time and effort.

I am just looking for someone to share my life with that will accept a pre-made family.

Maybe it's just me... that sentence seems like your a bit desperate. Just sayin..
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