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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do all single moms have problems with dating?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 59
Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Well river then start talking, im a cancer and love moonlit... lol
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 60
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:12:23 AM
Are Cancers compatible with Capricorns?
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 61
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:14:44 AM
LOL well, my grandfather did come from Canada...been there only once when I was 10. I have some family there as well as Michigan where my dad was born. Can't deal with the cold climate though. I guess I am a true California girl. Born and raised
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 62
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:33:31 AM
I will if you throw some snow around this way. It never snows in the OC.
But along with the sunshine, you gotta take the earthquakes, fires, and floods
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 63
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:53:24 AM
cancers are compatible with everyone, supposed to snow in san diego this week
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 64
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:57:41 AM

supposed to snow in san diego this week


Shut up! Beautiful SD? Im about an hr and a half north of there.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 65
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 11:09:17 AM

Deal :p what about a house swap for a month lol i', too pasty looking for my liking


haha..just like in the movie, "The Holiday" (one of my faves)
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 66
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 12:45:15 PM
yea about 30 miles east of down town
 lisa-xox
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 67
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 2:09:08 PM
i have a hard time def.. but i also notice that there not alot of my type or a man that 's even close of gtn my attention, idk maybee im too shallow or just know what i want n dont c it yet lol ive been sigle for 3 yrs now ...... its time to find some oen
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 68
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:05:16 PM
Well....add a 4th CDN....but then I still remember the non call on the high stick that Gretzky avoided...so the Kings fan might be a problem...not to mention the too young reality?
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 71
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:15:16 PM
I like bitten. Shes not once bitten twice shy babyyyy
 gary1010
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 5:44:49 PM
Lol, dont think of "single mum" as a badge or a job. Change your thinking to "single woman" ;) Kids arent baggage, just part of your life. If people dont think you are dating material just cos u got a kid then, let them date who they want. Find someone who likes you :) X
 trainrunner
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 2:49:35 AM
LADIES WHAT R YOUR PRIORITYS YOR SEX LIFE OR YOUR CHILDREN for gods sake your children come first i had custody of my 2 sons and didnt date til they started hi school worry about your children then yourself and when you do start dating please make sure he hasa job a good car and a looong work history last thing you want in yours and your kids life is some blue eyed stud that only works 2 months out of the year and expects you to buy his ciggarettes for him while he sits around playing video games because hes good at lickin ya where it counts
if this sounds terrible im sorry
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 74
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 6:39:04 AM

LADIES WHAT R YOUR PRIORITYS YOR SEX LIFE OR YOUR CHILDREN for gods sake your children come first i had custody of my 2 sons and didnt date til they started hi school worry about your children then yourself


uhhh...who said anything about sex life? it is possible to date someone and not jump in the sack.
tip for you: some people can balance dating and raising their children in a well balanced healthy fashion.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 76
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:09:23 AM
^^^hahahaha. we all have a lil freak in us.

im curious though, whats with the high school limit deal? so its best to refrain til they reach high school? what difference does it make other than the obvious, they are older and can possibly handle it?
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 78
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 2:15:08 PM

LADIES WHAT R YOUR PRIORITYS YOR SEX LIFE OR YOUR CHILDREN


Both. I am fully capable of balancing being an awesome Mother & awesome lover. After kids go to bed, it's Mommy's play time

(starts singing some Meredith Brooks "i'm a b!tch im a lover i'm a child i'm a mother i'm a sinner i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed, i'm your hell i'm your dream i'm nothing in between")


i had custody of my 2 sons and didnt date til they started hi school


Ewwwww hell to the no, i never had any intention of waiting until my kids start high school to look for a man. I would still be single now. Had to snag em while i was still young & purty, lol.
If i had your mindset, i would have never gotten married & had my second child, or enjoyed the fun of dating. Nor would i be living a happy little life out in the countryside of Florida with my wonderful boyfriend & wonderful kids, enjoying the family life together.

Celibate from the time of birth to high school, get the hell outta here with that noise. I am a woman, not just a Mom.
Not to mention, i want my children to grow up with a stepfather. Which they are blessed to have.

And..... enjoying sex is what made me a Mom to begin with


for gods sake your children come first


Duh, preaching to the choir here dude, my children have never lacked for anything, despite their Mom being a sexual woman who likes & enjoys men.


please make sure he hasa job a good car and a looong work history last thing you want in yours and your kids life is some blue eyed stud that only works 2 months out of the year and expects you to buy his ciggarettes for him while he sits around playing video games because hes good at lickin ya where it counts


Well my husband was a dark eyed stud, with a career, a business, more than a few cars, & worked at the same job for 21 years, didnt smoke,(i was the smoker in the marriage), had no interest in video games, but he was quite good at licking "where it counts" (lmao @ where it counts, who says that)...good enough?

I have never dated or been with a man even remotely resembling that, what an insulting assumption.


if this sounds terrible im sorry


A moronic, assuming, sexually repressed, uptight rant is what it sounds like.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 80
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:12:41 PM
^^^ Omg at your profile pic Iceman, i thought someone had hacked your account, lmao.
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 81
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:33:25 PM
Yes, but some of us call those Challenges.

Plus, we are not this poor pathetic category called single moms.

We are Mothers. Period. Ever notice you were the only one pushing that baby out? (and for the C-sections, you were the ONLY one who got the scar and had to recuperate that). So. Motherhood starts with some help but we ALL do the work of mothers alone. So, pu-tooey on this label.

We are Women. Period. Now that we are Women who Have Children, we have this respectful title of Mothers. However, we are still women, just with an added title to cover our special role.

There is such a thing as Mommy time....when you give your time as a mommy.

And there is such a thing as Woman Time. Including all sorts of delights...where you spend time taking care of yourself....pedicures, shopping, exercise, picking out a new perfume just because you like it, watching movies by yourself just because YOU wanted to, going all out for yourself and living life. Even if it's just an hour a day. You need woman time.

Then there is Lover Time. Where hopefully someone is spending time on you. ;) mmm.

If you practice scheduling your life with all the right kinds of Time, you will not view either yourself or your children as a problem...you will be enjoying your life!

I think what you are asking is, do most of us Women who are properly respected as Mothers, have some challenges in figuring out our different kinds of Time and how to manage it?

Yup. ;) But it's a learning process, and also....about letting go a little bit of the fear-clutch hold we have on our children, just enough to let reasonable people take care of them a few hours....about insisting on taking good care of ourselves....and about enjoying attention from a partner.

Then there is the filter for weeding out pedophiles from dating us. THAT is an important challenge, and takes some skill. Better just to wear them out with the rule, no meeting the children for a year or until seriously exclusive and committed.

Those are the challenges....Women who are Mothers can handle challenges!
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 82
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:32:40 AM
You dont have to wait until your children are teenagers or grown adults to be able to have a balanced Mommy life & love/sex life. I married & got pregnant again when my Daughter was a small little one, i now have a almost-teen & a first grader & am very happy in a relationship, am a wonderful Mom & wonderful partner. I was a wonderful wife when i was married.

Been a few dates in between long term partners, had my fun.


Might be time for baby #3.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 83
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:52:19 AM
StarledbyLight

A very well written opinion and something one to aspire to!!!! Yet it does seem strange there is no mention of self determination or self reliance?........because without it comes the suggestion of having to rely on someone else or society to pay for woman’s time....pay for your children and pay for your Lover Time....

But then reality rears its head and the potential stereotype that woman complain about? A single mother who spends the money on her children and herself and little to no mention of her earning the financial resources herself?

I also agree with your premise or suggestion of the filter....and as a single father with custody....without cs.....I use a filter to weed out the ones who have a sense of entitlement to having their lifestyle supported by someone else....to avoid the single mother type who was employed full time but still felt it was appropriate that guys who dated her could also pay or assist paying the babysitter.....or the part time single mother who lives on cs and social programs....as the social programs often stop when they live with a supporting partner...and the cs can also stop?

one needs to keep a very open mind for the very significant percentage of single custodial mothers who do not feel the need for being self reliant and self supporting.....and just as valid is the filter single mothers should use is determining the guys who have already left or are not financially responsible for children they already have....or a lack of stability before they allow into their beds or procreate with?

I have no issue calling out any father who is not responsible and not being financially and emotionally responsible for providing for their children....but I suggest woman will use two different measuring sticks....they expect men to be financially and emotionally supportive...and mothers to be emotionally responsible...as this well written piece by a mental health professional is conspicuous in its lack of financial accountability it expects for woman.....no problem illustrating spending the money...but amazingly mute about earning it...outside of the expected child support payments they would be receiving?


I do have time to date; and I can balance my work and home life with spending time with someone.



But she does suggest it in her own profile...but like so many woman....they seemingly do not suggest it of other woman....

But then back to the filter...POF has a great filter.....it has the box that allows one to illustrate Profession...or ability to pay or support the individual and any children they may have....and for ones who have no job and no profession.....I would suggest one enter into with open eyes and the realization of having to financially support both the individual and their children ....in some manner.....support their woman time....and support their pedicures and perfumes and hairdresser.....if they are not working or not working full time…...and the situation is easily validated by the statistics….employment and who is most likely to live or be found living in poverty.
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 84
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 7:01:55 AM
It amazes me how people who have no kids and never been married think they are qualified enough to give advise to people who do and have been

When she's pregnant there is no child to neglect and if she feels like dating that's her business

When the child is first born, most women who do not get PPD probably wouldn't want to date but if she has a support group in place and the child is cared for what business is it of anyone else's if she chooses to date?

When the child is no longer an infant and there's a support base in place (family sitters etc) and the mother wants to date.. WHO CARES???

Truth is it is no ones business what a single parent chooses to do with their life and body as long as the child is safe, fed and cared for. If you are an over protective individual who feels smothering a child 24/7 for 18 years is warranted then ill let you screw that kid up yourself but do not think for even a moment that a person cannot have a social life and still be a great parent just because they have kids
 OMGyaa
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 86
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 7:34:03 AM
It amazes me how people can assume because someone does not have children that they are not qualified to advise people who do have children. There are lots of child psychologists ,social workers etc who do not have children and perhaps cannot have children who are more then qualified to give advise. Some people have more comon sense and can give better parenting advise despite the fact that they aren't themselves parents. What amazes me is that it doesn't surprise me how certain people act ignorantly and close minded instead of trying to learn from everyone's advise irrespective if it advise they will consider or not.
 OMGyaa
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 88
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 11:38:18 AM
Bitten82 I am answering a clear statement from a poster and yes that answer was one example of why his amazement is nonsensical . There are lost of people whose advise I would listen to who have never been parents just as there are lots of people who are parents whose advise I would be more then likely to ignore.

If someone needs to experience things before they should give advise then why is it that the same person feels the need to advise on what a woman should or not do while she is pregnant when clearly he has mo first hand knowledge. The point is anyone's opinion or advise could be valuable whether they have direct experience or not and to the advise just because of the source's esperience is more foolish then wise .
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 89
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:40:50 PM
Arlo

Someone who may not have the personal experience of, say, parenthood, might still have some valuable input on


Whats the old saying, Those who can DO those who can't TEACH

If you have never been a parent there is no way you can know what parenting is like, babysitting, watching a family member, teaching etc is NOT like having and raising your own kids and therefore the knowledge you think you have is not always what others would see as good


That, for example, is a PERFECT example of a general observation/


I like how I used the word PROBABLY & MOST implying this statement does NOT apply to every woman and therefore only applies to some which makes this statement true and accurate (at least for the some)
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 90
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:44:31 PM

Having children does not automatically impart the wisdom of the ages... There are enough neglectful or abusive women out there to prove that...


However experience from raising those children does at least more so than someone giving advise to a single parent who has no experience or children of their own. After all i believe nothing is more annoying that a stranger who has no kids approaching a parent and telling them how to be a better parent to their kid

OMGyaa


Bitten82 I am answering a clear statement from a poster and yes that answer was one example of why his amazement is nonsensical . There are lost of people whose advise I would listen to who have never been parents just as there are lots of people who are parents whose advise I would be more then likely to ignore.

If someone needs to experience things before they should give advise then why is it that the same person feels the need to advise on what a woman should or not do while she is pregnant when clearly he has mo first hand knowledge. The point is anyone's opinion or advise could be valuable whether they have direct experience or not and to the advise just because of the source's esperience is more foolish then wise .


Well let me answer that for you

#1 I am the custodial parent of all my kids
#2 I am a parent of multiple children
#3 unlike most fathers I was there 100% of my wives pregnancy's, I went to every appointment i was there every minute
#4 I have attended seminars, taken classes and have worked with pregnant women, single parents and children for the better part of the last 20 year


So basically I have both personal experience and extended education on the topic which extends for more than 20 years which would make me more qualified than the average joe to talk on this discussion

In regards to pregnancy I never once said I had a baby but I was there I read the books, spoke to the mothers, held the babies, attended all the dr visits etc. so I am sorry if I did not feel a rip as the child slid out of me but in comparison to most DADS i have done allot more

Now feel free to correct me which I know you will do but as far as I can recollect the ONLY advise I have given anyone is (Be safe, do what you feel comfortable with and yes I THINK it is possible for anyone to find love) now i'm not sure what part of that was not appropriate for anyone to give but i am eager to finally hear what you think
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