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 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 149
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!Page 5 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
1ukn4u....... I would really love to debate you further on an intellectual basis with an open mind interested in self growth and development.... unfortunately these traits are non existent for your case.... Good luck to you and those victims who chose to interact with you....
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 150
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/22/2011 5:41:41 PM
from another poster....



BPD and NPD are both Axis II Cluster B personality disorders.

This means that they are similar in many ways.

However, both have hallmark characteristics that define them as one or the other.

BPD have an all encompassing fear of being abandoned, suicides are more prevalent with BPD. "Cutting" is a hallmark of BPD, although not all BPD's cut....I don't. "Angst" describes BPD.

NPD are "grandiose". They use people to keep their ego's inflated, are hugely competitive, and do not like to lose, the ego doesn't allow it.They lack empathy, and will go to great lengths to get what they want, or get rid of what they don't want.

A person who is BPD can "appear" NPD, and vice versa.

The outward "behaviour" can appear the same, but the intent of, and motivation for, the behaviour will be totally different.

BPD can appear to have a lack of empathy, while NPD can appear to have a fear of being abandoned....if it suits them....

The "thinking" behind the behaviour is what determines whether the person is BPD or NPD.


See also:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001931/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930/
http://allpsych.com/disorders/personality/borderline.html
http://allpsych.com/disorders/personality/narcissism.html
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 151
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 4:50:52 AM
Yeah I'm totally plagiarizing and trying to pass the DSM off as my own work.lol Get a life shakti.

You aren't an expert either.


If it is simply your opinion, based on limited information.. then specify your thoughts as such and cease mixing your own biased opinions with plagiarized information in order to present it as fact. As I said, it's embarrassing.


I can't fix stupid. Never did I state anything as fact. My opinion is my own and I expect anyone who is capable of following what I'm saying to understand that.



It's common knowledge that the one making a positive claim is the one with the burden of proof, not the other way around. Nice attempt to shift the goal posts though.


I could and would if I wanted to prove you wrong and I've done exactly this before to do it. You haven't done it cause you can't prove me wrong. :) Just saying.


I don't need to, you need to support your claim. Please, tell us all what percent of NPD's are unable to function in society..


Carry your own water and stop trying to get me to carry it for you. Also stop trying to bait me your embarrassing yourself. I'm not going to get banned for you. I'm saving that for someone special. :) Your not it.


from another poster....




BPD and NPD are both Axis II Cluster B personality disorders.

This means that they are similar in many ways.

However, both have hallmark characteristics that define them as one or the other.

BPD have an all encompassing fear of being abandoned, suicides are more prevalent with BPD. "Cutting" is a hallmark of BPD, although not all BPD's cut....I don't. "Angst" describes BPD.

NPD are "grandiose". They use people to keep their ego's inflated, are hugely competitive, and do not like to lose, the ego doesn't allow it.They lack empathy, and will go to great lengths to get what they want, or get rid of what they don't want.

A person who is BPD can "appear" NPD, and vice versa.

The outward "behaviour" can appear the same, but the intent of, and motivation for, the behaviour will be totally different.

BPD can appear to have a lack of empathy, while NPD can appear to have a fear of being abandoned....if it suits them....

The "thinking" behind the behaviour is what determines whether the person is BPD or NPD.


See also:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001931/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930/
http://allpsych.com/disorders/personality/borderline.html
http://allpsych.com/disorders/personality/narcissism.html


LOL If you look on message 163 of this thread you will see this was brought to this thread by me from the BPD thread and was orriginally posted by Quazi. gentleplus
You state how unintelligent I am as you try and use my own quote to debunk me. None of what is written there says BPD and NPD are the exact same thing or that they can coexist in the same person. It says they are similar disorders with very big differences. This is just sad. I've got far better things to do than to listen to these two jokers.

Thank you Gregarious1033 for setting what I've been saying straight. I thank god for the perfect timing of your post. It just shows the example of an NPD I've been looking for. Very interesting information. :)
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 152
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:09:13 AM
^^^^^.....Thanks again for being the poster child and case study of this post.... your railing, closed mindset, fact manipulation and posturing are classic and very informative to those who have experienced this type of person..... You have done a great service to all posters here....both seekers and victims... Notice how this discussion is avoided by all those who are victims.... because they have learned there is never a rational engagement with a NPD/BPD as a coping skill....

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 153
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:14:46 AM
1ukn4u:
Get a life shakti.

You aren't an expert either.
I'm a psychiatric nurse, I actually utilize the DSM IV at my work. I've also taken extra courses to learn more about NPD, ASPD and BPD from a recognized expert. I also worked at a jail for many years where the population is rich with cluster B types.

I simply recognized you spouting false information as fact and asked you to back it up with something. You have yet to do that. Instead you are turning it around as an attack on me.

Do you think that these type of ploys are lost on me?

I can't fix stupid.
That much is extremely evident.

 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 154
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:28:16 AM

and these idiots choose abusers. the stupid shall be punished.


^^Wow! Did he really write that statement? Totally blows my mind it does! How very ignorant and judgemental some of us can be. I am just shaking my head on this one...Gawd!
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 155
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 10:36:36 AM

I'm a psychiatric nurse, I actually utilize the DSM IV at my work. I've also taken extra courses to learn more about NPD, ASPD and BPD from a recognized expert. I also worked at a jail for many years where the population is rich with cluster B types.

I simply recognized you spouting false information as fact and asked you to back it up with something. You have yet to do that. Instead you are turning it around as an attack on me.

Do you think that these type of ploys are lost on me?


Ok so your claiming to be an expert then yet you have offered up no real opinions of your own on this entire thread. Atleast I have opinions on this discussion forum that I choose to post. With your so very vast amount of knowledge you should be able to offer up mounds of evidence and facts to debunk what I've said. Yet you haven't. Hmmmm I wonder why? Nice childish comment at the end of your last post. Shows your character. Why don't you settle the argument between me and gentleplus. Can NPD and BPD co exist in the same person?


^^^^^.....Thanks again for being the poster child and case study of this post.... your railing, closed mindset, fact manipulation and posturing are classic and very informative to those who have experienced this type of person..... You have done a great service to all posters here....both seekers and victims... Notice how this discussion is avoided by all those who are victims.... because they have learned there is never a rational engagement with a NPD/BPD as a coping skill....

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,Thank-you,




Wow really? Your starting to prove my point gentleplus.

Anyone who could stay with a real NPD for numerous years would have to be severely disordered themselves to stay.


I have actually formed an opinion about one of your other questions on this forum gentleplus.



I was married for 19 years to a NPD/BPD ...... Should I go slit my wrists or check in to a mental hospital????


My opinion is YES you should!!!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 156
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 10:56:50 AM
^^^^ Your railing is focused on whether NPD/BPD coexist in one person right????

In the absence of a definitive diagnosis for any one person neither can be confirmed or denied..... I am simply using the terms interchangeability because the etiology is so similar.... this is a spectrum disease that resists all forms of intervention including counselling and medications are not at all effective as of yet....

Spectrum diseases also have co-morbid elements as well..... this post is not about diagnostic criteria but about supporting victims of this type of relationship and sharing information to allow coping skills to be expressed.....

But in your case sharing information is not a goal.... its all about power over and force of personality........ hmmmmm???
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 157
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 12:26:57 PM
Thanks for clearifing that gentle plus. Your not sure what she is so your generalizing. I get it.


this post is not about diagnostic criteria but about supporting victims of this type of relationship and sharing information to allow coping skills to be expressed.....


This thread is a discussion forum. Go to a survivor forum if you don't want to hear opinions that aren't PC or up to a standard you think they should be. I have never seen a post on a survivors forum or on this very thread where someone posted at the request of their mental health professional. So if threads contribute so much to a persons emotional healing why don't mental heath professionals recomend them to all their patients?


But in your case sharing information is not a goal.... its all about power over and force of personality........ hmmmmm???


Power over what? My own opinion or my ability and freedom to express it?

In post 194 is what my experiences with NPD have been. I personally could not imagine a hell so bad as to have to live with an SO who has either NPD or BPD for any leangth of time. Me personally I could not live with one for more than a month and stay sane. I promise that with in a year I would have murdered my SO if she had either of these disorders. I'm not even joking. So sorry if I can't understand how you could possibly be sane after 19 years.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 158
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 1:38:12 PM
^^^^^^ Your posts



I have actually formed an opinion about one of your other questions on this forum gentleplus.

I was married for 19 years to a NPD/BPD ...... Should I go slit my wrists or check in to a mental hospital????

My opinion is YES you should!!!

Me personally I could not live with one for more than a month and stay sane. I promise that with in a year I would have murdered my SO if she had either of these disorders. I'm not even joking. So sorry if I can't understand how you could possibly be sane after 19 years.


Outstanding logic...... THAT certainly is a solution.... KILL the stupid or goad them into suicide.....
 melbasmooch
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 159
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 2:40:29 PM
I would like to add this as well:

Characteristics of a Psychopath

superficial charm

self-centered & self-important

need for stimulation & prone to boredom

deceptive behavior & lying

conning & manipulative

little remorse or guilt

shallow emotional response

callous with a lack of empathy

living off others or predatory attitude

poor self-control

promiscuous sexual behavior

early behavioral problems

lack of realistic long term goals

impulsive lifestyle

irresponsible behavior

blaming others for their actions

short term relationships

juvenile delinquency

breaking parole or probation

varied criminal activity


You don't have to have everyone of these characteristics, of course. Most psychopaths have a narcissistic personality. I hope this helps someone. :)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 160
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 4:36:30 PM
~OP~ I recall that many many years ago, my son's sperm-donor's Mother told my Mother (now that's a mouth-ful! LOL) That any woman he was involved with would need to give 99% and get the rest back. Boy, she was as honest as it came on that note. The narcassist wore me out, literally took bits of my soul and in the end? Scared me for the future. There are some things, we as adults, can attend to ~ being with a self-serving, obsessed-with-self-human and overall selfish prIIck shouldn't be EVER something we consider. JMO
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 162
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/23/2011 6:10:33 PM
Google "dark triad" you will find some good info on this subject.

There is even a site that allows you to take a test to see if you have traits of dark triad.
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 167
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 7:40:45 AM

^^^^^^ Your posts




I have actually formed an opinion about one of your other questions on this forum gentleplus.

I was married for 19 years to a NPD/BPD ...... Should I go slit my wrists or check in to a mental hospital????

My opinion is YES you should!!!

Me personally I could not live with one for more than a month and stay sane. I promise that with in a year I would have murdered my SO if she had either of these disorders. I'm not even joking. So sorry if I can't understand how you could possibly be sane after 19 years.


Outstanding logic...... THAT certainly is a solution.... KILL the stupid or goad them into suicide.....


Isn't it though?!?! Want to know whats even more outstanding logic? Being married for 19 years and having 3 kids with someone who has a major personality disorder. Your amazing logic behind it is? You didn't want to put your kids through a messy divorce. Wow! Never mind the major 19 years of family disfunction that surely did major emotional and mental damage.

Here's my theory though. I bet after not 1 but 3 kids and an amazing 19 years of marriage when she decided she didn't want to be with such an amazing perfect flawless gem like yourself gentleplus. You finally figured out that she must have a major mental disorder. I mean she must in order not to be with you. Right?
 alake86
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 169
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 10:22:52 AM
man, sounds like my ex wife. lost alot of friends and family members trying to devote myself to her.
But for me , I always went back and tried to make it work because we had a kid together. Also Because I was extremely attracted to my ex physically.
 snowangel815
Joined: 1/10/2011
Msg: 170
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 11:00:24 AM
This is my husband 100% he has been very mean to me and my daughter and also his tow boys. He Drinks out of controle and dose not see any good in any one at all he always says mean and nasty things to his family (me, my daughter and his sons).
But to the public he makes him self out to be this wanderful man that dose nouthing wrong. He went through a nasty Divorce about 10 years ago and had the whole town rally for him.
But the town did not see how he treated the ones he clames he loves how he talks about his brothers, sisters, dad, mom, our any of there family.
I have had 3 strokes and have a heart stent put in my brain he calls me fat, lazy. stuped, cry baby you name it he has even tryed to run over me with a pickup.
He gets mad for stupid stuff like when my daughter uses to much sour cream he has tryed to toss her bike in the lake he told her he was going to kill our pets.
He tells her she is spoiled little princess but he never can tell her he loves her i think out of the 9 years we have been together he hs told her he loves her about 5 times.
He got custody of his boys in his divorce but blams the boys for nhow much his divorce cost him it was all there fault.
he trys to make people think he is so abused and miss treated i use to do every thing for him.
If he needed are wanted any thing i would run and get it i was always there for him when he needed me i stood by him through thick and thin.
He has called my children wetbacks and worse even though they are only half Mexican i am white.
last week i got into it with him and asked him why he says the things he dose to all of us or about us he would never answer the quistion. All he wanted to do is bring up every thing i had done wrong like put to many miles on the car or about he had to work all the time while i set on my lazy butt. i have not spoken to him since i am now sleeping on the couch. I wish it was as easy to get out but it is not i don't have the money to move and can't get my dissablity while i am here...
Stuck and hopeless
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 171
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 11:09:10 AM
Babybella and others here..... There are many websites that will give you support.... Consider these steps I took in my personal journey to wholeness....

1. Stop ALL communication/interactions with this person..... they feed off of turmoil and drama (you can actually see it well represented in this thread by the flame tactics and emotional diminishment by such personalities)..... if there are children/property/ other long term attachments.... all communication is to be exchanged in writing that could be later used as evidence in a custody/criminal action/ restraining order/etc against them..... Recognize that a BPD/NPD/Sociopath is the personification of evil in human form and WILL destroy any or all of who you are... or anything/anyone dear to you.....

2. Discover who you are first and validate that character outside of any person..... fall in love with who you are... but still remain humble and open to the possibility of relationship..... (possibly the reason you fell for this person at first... is that he fed your inner being in a way you could not....)

3. Find your spiritual center and connect with your inner voice that defines your eternal purpose/life plan/value and personhood.... the writings of Nelson Mandella point to this worth outside of circumstances... "The Secret" is a book and tape series that will help that journey into a deeper spiritual purpose....

4. Discover a middle aged social group(not a bar) in your area for single/divorced/widowed persons..... participate fully and openly..... One of the most wonderful ways to explore the deeper character of a person is through the act of social/ballroom dancing...... The amount of self respect, respect for another person's body and self control expressed when there is a mis step or other faux pas is very telling about your partners character.....

5. This is most likely to rub you the wrong way.... buuuut.... stay away from churches in exploring relationships (at least for now) until you discover your own power as a spiritual and worthy person in the eyes of the Creator..... History has shown over and over again organized religion has hostility towards true faith and spirituality.... If you are not centered in your self worth spiritually.... you will become vulnerable to the social pressures of conformance to be accepted by the group and may violate true faith and personhood in the name of conformity ....

Consider that Jesus was rejected, the apostles, the inquisition of the middle ages, hostility towards the first scientists, etc..... Consider this.... the highly structured environment of a church group is often a hiding place/attraction for those who are severely disturbed emotionally/mentally and a place to find women who are predisposed to be controlled/lead/influenced by authorities or otherwise weakened emotionally.....

The church environment is still a good place to ADD to your character not a place that DEFINES your character..... so be active in church later and recognize when boundaries of your personhood are compromised and hold that at a distance...but still absorb and grow in faith from the teachings but stay aloof from social destructiveness.....

6. Develop a picking system of filtering ALL relationships that are destructive and toxic to you as a person.... I use a traffic light analogy.....

Red Light= behaviors/practices that you will never tolerate in relationship.... examples are... drug addictions, criminal record, lack of impulse control, raging anger, careless with money,smoking, sports addictions, work addiction, etc... The discovery of any of these qualities in a potential relationship require IMMEDIATE escape and termination.... no excuses, no but if statements, no promises to change.... nada, none, finis.... RUN FORREST RUN.... don't ever allow yourself to become entrapped in a web of chaos and destruction....

Yellow Light= qualities or behaviors that if they never change you could live with them... example are baldness, grey hair, likes to golf, meat eater but you are vegan , snores when sleeping,etc

Green Light= OOO La La.... things that really trip your love triggers in a good way....often these are specific details of what feels good to you during intimacy

Hope this helps !!! GOOD LUCK in your Journey!!!! Write me if you want to know more
 snowangel815
Joined: 1/10/2011
Msg: 172
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 12:09:44 PM
This is my husband 100% he has been very mean to me and my daughter and also his tow boys. He Drinks out of controle and dose not see any good in any one at all he always says mean and nasty things to his family (me, my daughter and his sons).
But to the public he makes him self out to be this wanderful man that dose nouthing wrong. He went through a nasty Divorce about 10 years ago and had the whole town rally for him.But the town did not see how he treated the ones he clames he loves how he talks about his brothers, sisters, dad, mom, our any of his family.

I have had 3 strokes and have a heart stent put in my brain he calls me fat, lazy.
stuped, cry baby you name it he has even tryed to run over me with a pickup. If he needed are wanted any thing i would run and get it i was always there for him when he needed me i stood by him through thick and thin. He now says i never cared for him becouse i never do any thing for him. He has called my other children wetbacks and worse even though they are only half Mexican . And he never says he is sorry for any thing he dose it is like the next day comes and he walks in and says stuff like what are you still mad at me and if i say any thing it gets worse so i just keep my mouth shut.

My 12 year old daughter is one of the sweetest person you could ever meet she visits the nurseing home at least 3 times a week. She stands up for the handiecap kids in her school when other kids make fun of them. If she finds a child that needs somthing she tryes her best to get it for them.
When I first met him he seemed to be wanderful with my daughter that lasted about a year now he only says nasty things to her never a nice word. No matter how much she trys to show him she loves him it is never enough. Every Fathers Day, Birthday, Christmas she always would try to make our buy him somthing. But he has never done any thing for her never a gift or card not even a nice word. He gets mad for stupid stuff like when my daughter uses to much sour cream or when she trys to protect me she tells him he needs to stop and he yells at her and says nasty things to her. he has told her he was going to toss her bike in the lake or he was going to kill her pets. He tells her she is spoiled little princess but he never can tell her he loves her i think out of the 9 years we have been together he hs told her he loves her about 5 times.

He got custody of his boys in his divorce but blams the boys for how much his divorce cost him it was all there fault he would come in and just scream at the boys for no reason. Those poor boys could be just sitting at the computer he would come in from his parents house and just start calling them all kinds of nasty names and saying very mean stuff to them.

He trys to make people around our comunity think he is so abused and miss treated he would go out after his first divorce and seek sympathy in any one that would listen and still dose that to this day. He seems to always want to live in the past not the future and nouthing makes him happy i have even asked him what makes him happy and he says nouthing.

last week i got into it with him and asked him why he says the things he dose to all of us or about us he would never answer the quistion. All he wanted to do is bring up every thing i had done wrong in his eyes like put to many miles on the car we live so far out it is 60 miles to a walmart and i only go there about 1 time a month. Or about he had to work all the time while i set on my lazy butt I keep a very clean house for him i cook every day and i do any thing he asks me to do.
I have not spoken to him in over a week now and i am now sleeping on the couch and me and my daughter are trying the best we can to stay clear of this man it has gotten so bad.

I wish it was as easy to get out but it is not i don't have the money to move and can't get my disablity while i am here. Am trying to look into things to see if i can get any help getting out of here.
Stuck sad and hopeless
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 175
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 2:17:30 PM

.....there are a lot of undiagnosed BPD sufferers and psychopaths wandering around too. There is also a general increase of anger in the general population. As to why that is I think no particular study I have seen seems willing to address it.


The current culture of "me-ism" certainly feeds the condition and even values these types by giving power and extreme economic rewards in many cases.... I was watching a show called "Millionaire Matchmaker"..... it was interesting to see how many of these types are disturbed mentally and cannot form balanced pair bonds in real life..... so they resort to paying fees of $50K to secure a life mate....

The show's star is a Jewish matchmaker woman who often demands and commands behavior changes in a client to secure a mate..... the push back is interesting and volatile...... making good TV but a dysfunctional life ..... LOL.... I really doubt the character changes are sustained for most clients as an evolved life practice once the dating/mating is secured.....

To me it seems like the more dysfunctional lifestyle you have.... the more likely you could have your own reality show and cash in..... as long as this behavior is validated in media it becomes a template for behaviors to many people.... Can anyone name a reality show that does NOT use human relational dysfunction as a
key theme of its attraction...
Lets bring back the Brady Bunch.... LOL
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 178
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:18:24 PM
snowangel,
Please call the local shelter for abused women, they will find you a place, do not contact him, do not tell anyone where you are going until you can figure out who you can trust. Too many women have been killed in your situation. I cannot say this any stronger to you. GET OUT AND GET HELP. There are groups, church and others who will help you. Things are to the point where your children are also in danger. GET OUT!!!
You do not need money, take your ID and any other papers you can to show his income and get out of the house. You do not need to pack much. Take what you need for a couple of days and get to a shelter.
You are not a wetback your kids are in danger of learning the wrong lessons from this. They need to feel safe and secure not scared.
There should be a toll free number for you to call locally that can help you. They may even have someone who can pick you up. I fear for you.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 180
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Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:37:08 AM
Highfly.... do you have some links or search terms(author name etc) to use.... I would like to look at these as well.....

I found this.... menwhoareabused dot com
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 181
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:44:43 AM

People with MPD usually aren't dangerous to others, just to themselves.


uh, yes.. the problem with the word "usually"? it means not 'all the time' , it is not the same as "never"..it only takes ONE of the exceptions to be fatal to YOU.

does it help you after you are hurt/dead to know that you were part of a statistical anomaly or 'aberration' ?

reminds me of the 'customer service rep' who says something REALLY 'helpful' like "we hardly ever have any of these fail"

uh, yeah, like I care.. *I* experienced a 100% failure rate, the one I bought, failed..do I care that most other people's might not? not all that 'comforting', really
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 185
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/27/2011 6:04:09 AM
I agree Socoj74..Life is choices.And these same women after they have left MR.Narcissistic and claim they know the signs,Then she is right back with another MR.Narcissistic.I have seen it so many times.About like a abuser.Once the abuser leaves or in jail.The woman is chasing down another one,But meanwhile back at the ranch she wants a good man.YEA!!!RIGHT!!!!!Whatever!!!!The reason they choose these POS is because these Jailbirds,drug addicts,abusers,drunks and lazy worthless are not boring.They will always have Drama in their miserble lives.In other words these men are Drama kings.And most women love these types.But i suggest to you Socoj74 stay well clear of these type of women that has a history of choosing nut case after nut case.These women are dangerous!!!Stay well clear.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 187
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/27/2011 7:51:05 AM
Very good post Annasthasia.I agree 100%
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