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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?      Home login  
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 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 26
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Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Yet your profile says you are single? Not to pick but if you are involved with someone, I think you should say so? Or maybe I am wrong?


"Single" is a choice under the "Marital Status" category, meaning she is not married. The category isn't "Relationship Status".
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 27
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/12/2011 4:59:38 PM
Recently, maybe a month ago, here. But believing someone could be "The One" is a function of optimism- and actually might have just been delusional. Still, the feeling, the optimism, is good, so long as you can laugh at it if it was only pollyannish. But, Andover's story just makes you optimistic and positive, doesn't it? Great to hear, Andover.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 28
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/12/2011 6:00:52 PM
not 45 yet, but yes, there are quite a few women at the gym that have crossed the 40 mark, that are very attractive, in shape, athletic, and indeed very well proportioned.
not my cup of tea, but a delicious diversion during spin class none the less.
 RUsickofkissingfrogs
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 29
As Friends Noted...Damn They Have Been Right
Posted: 8/12/2011 11:12:06 PM
And I know this from experience.....Unfortunately.....for the "most" part I have found that the "majority" (never said all) but from what I have found is women in my dating age range seem to be single for a reason. They have soooo many issues, baggage, etc. I am not narrow minded to think guys have the same issues....But...we are talking about what I have encountered

He stole my money, my ex rip me off, last boyfriend beat me...etc....
At our age we have all been exposed to bad experiences. Sad that I have not seem to find anyone that can learn from it and move past it. Most want to hold the "next" guy accountable for their rough spots in their lifes.

In my case this makes it even more difficult to meet someone because I made a decision a long time ago not to have kids and choose not to date anyone that has them.(any age)..and yes that includes the ones over 18 (they never stop coming back wanting something and never want their momma to have a life if not thier dad) .

There you have it!......lol.....
An unsolicted testomonial...
 RUsickofkissingfrogs
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 30
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 12:04:57 AM
KUDOS!......Work at it!......Wow what a concept!

Seems now days couples view marriage life buying a Cannon Sure Shot....Pay 100 bucks and if it gives you trouble..........throw it away and get another.

Never a thought of repairing what you were happy with when you made that buying (commitment) decision. Just toss it aside and pursue another model......taking the easy way out!
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 31
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:27:36 AM
My experiences in middle aged dating have been few. As I have no ex husband or children in my life, men say they have nothing in common with me and the fact that I have not been married seems to mean I am psychotic to them without knowing anything about me at all. What I find interesting is that most have griped about the women they were involved with being crazy, still having some sort of relationship with an ex and how the children were trouble and how they were used and abused for money, etc. I am nowhere near perfect, however I do not expect a man to pay my way in life, I have a career, am not crazy nor do I have a crazy ex or kids. It all seems to boil down to a woman's appearance to many men, and if she is good looking to them they seem to take all kinds of crap from her. Those of us who have it together for the most part who might be average looking to most, a bit shorter or larger than what is deemed perfect seem to be the ones who are ignored. I find it quite sad that a middle aged man has not matured enough to see the value of women who are not what society calls beautiful.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 32
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:35:01 AM
Not 45 yet....but I am 41... &.....

I meet men of all ages. I do not do the approaching, because I have not * seen * one yet that made me thing OMG.

The issue I am facing is most men my age , for some reason , seem to have too many issues. I can handle a little ( we all have some ) but so far they seem to be in debt, too many kids with too many women, heavy, most are not independent / living alone, yet they all have one thing in common ~ they want a fit woman with no drama !!! LOL

The younger guys....are actually looking better but there is the issue of things in common and how long would something really last, as I am not wanting some temporary part time deal.

I have not ran into the * one *. But a lot of * WTF's * and * RUN * !!!!

No big deal...I am fine on my own. But do admit to getting tired of nonsense.
 Jazzzy
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 33
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:13:27 AM
My experience is, most men I have dated my own age are immature and selfish (and, I don't mean material possessions). No thanks, I love older men. Their wisdom and knowledge by far surpasses anything some man my own age has to say. lol
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 34
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:35:28 AM
^^^^^What age of men do you call "older men"? I am 54, and have found most men I have met who are aged 40-60 to be selfish and immature. Maybe after age 60 they stop chasing women half their age or value something besides a needy woman with "perfect" looks? I have considered dating men younger than 45, as sometimes I have more in common with them if they have not been married and don't have children, although I wonder if they would be seeking anything besides sex from someone a lot older than them.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 35
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Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 11:08:12 AM

fifi47:
I have considered dating men younger than 45, as sometimes I have more in common with them if they have not been married and don't have children, although I wonder if they would be seeking anything besides sex from someone a lot older than them.


I'll take on that question. The answer is, "It depends". Primarily it depends on YOUR appearance. When a man (any age, but we're talking specifically about younger men here), sees a hot woman, he thinks to himself, "Damn! She's hot. I wonder if she'd give me the time of day?"

He does not think, "I wonder how old she is?" That simply does not matter. He does not think, "I wonder what my friends would think of her?", as he knows the answer all ready, they would be envious. He would be happy to take her anywhere (if he were to be so lucky as to actually get a date with her).

Now if the woman isn't hot, but is "doable", then he starts thinking, "Could I get in her pants without being seen in public with her?" Under those circumstances, he might be interested in doing some things with her other than sex, but NOT in public where his friends might see them together.

Does this sound harsh? My apologies, but you asked, and there it is. Now if you're talking about a man in his 40's (not 20's or 30's), then the equation will change somewhat. But you said, "who are aged 40-60 to be selfish and immature", so I assumed you were talking about 20's and 30's.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 36
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:31:23 PM
At 54 I doubt that I would attact men aged 20-30. I have a nephew who is 31 and the thought of dating a man his age is not appealing to me. I was referring to a man in his 40s who is not selfish and immature. I should have stated that some of the men aged 40-60 seem to be selfish and immature, by no means not all of the men that age. Why do men not understand that women KNOW that most men think with their little head and not with their big head, especially when they are young. That is precisely why I find most men I have met who are 40-60 to be selfish and immature. Many will take so much crap from a woman if she is hot looking to them. Then whine about it later. Give me a break......
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 37
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:37:30 PM
Now if the woman isn't hot, but is "doable", then he starts thinking, "Could I get in her pants without being seen in public with her?" Under those circumstances, he might be interested in doing some things with her other than sex, but NOT in public where his friends might see them together

^^^Now that's "selfish and immature". And it sounds like a teenage boy's thoughts, rather than a man aged 40-60. Or even 20-30..
Are you for real? "Doable" but only when his friends won't know? You do realise you're talking about human beings, don't you? Or aren't 30-year-old men old enough to understand this concept?
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 38
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:57:45 PM
Good luck Ruby Waxxx!! Let us know how it turns out?
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 39
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:40:37 PM
It's funny when I read this and a member of one sex is talking about how members of the opposite sex are ALL WRONG cause they don't find them attractive and within the same page it shows the real reason they aren't appealing is mostly ATTITUDE...

I have met some of the most wonderful men in the world from online dating; I hope each of them considers me with the same high thoughts.

People get their panties in a wad when it is a very simple process; you have to find the person you are compatible with in many areas. If you go into this with LIMITS then YOU ARE LIMITING who you will meet and your own OPPORTUNITY for happiness; it is not members of the opposite sex fault. If you are short, overweight, uneducated, unkempt, etc and claiming it is the fault of the opposite sex being immature for not finding you attractive you should look at others who have the same traits....they find someone...why haven't you?

Awwwww normally it is the people saying others are immature for rejecting them are who reject others who they feel aren't good enough!

Love is simple; stop being judgmental of the opposite sex...there are good and bad people; stop blaming others and work to improve yourself cause the sexist thing alive is ATTITUDE!
 fnshrly
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 40
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:32:24 PM
try dating after 60 I think they are all looking for younger women or a perfect figure I'm not sure what ever it is I dont have it
 MondoVman
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 41
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Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:52:08 PM
^^^And if you did have it, would you want them? Seriously, would you want them?
What do women want? What do women have? What do women give?
Let's all get a life, and find someone to share it with, like the adults we supposedly are. MO
 NiceGuy97415
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 42
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/13/2011 10:56:17 PM
Heck,

My problem (if it can be called one) is that I started later than normal, so being 49 now and both my girls aren't even out of middle school. This seems to be an issue with meeting women my own age, since their children have left the nest so it's their time now to enjoy life, travel, all the things they wanted to do but couldn't.

I don't blame them for not looking at me as a viable option, but it does make it tough! That and the fact that most women I run across have children the ages of mine so I'm always around the mid-30 range. I enjoy their flirtations, but not really interested in going young again ... did that already.

I'm holding out hope to find someone mid 40's with relatively young children too, who intrigues me .... sometimes hard in a pretty small remote town. But hey, that's what POF is for :)

GL to all of you in your search
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 43
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/14/2011 1:59:13 AM
^^ It makes it tough for women your age with grown children or no children when someone your age prefers a woman with younger children, which seems to be a lot of men in some towns. (maybe more of a smaller town thing as I do not live in a large city).
I have found the online way of meeting men to be more frustrating in many ways than meeting men IRL, as the men seem to be pickier about what they are looking for in women. Probably since they can possibly find a better one with the next profile. Still trying to figure out how someone could change their height, as another poster pointed out that being short seems to be a bad thing. ( I like being short.)
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 44
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Posted: 8/14/2011 3:28:44 AM
the last time i met a person my own age whom i thought may be "the one" was when i met the father of my son when we were both at high school...
 sushisue
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 45
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Posted: 8/14/2011 7:58:13 PM
I sure hope that romance isn't a dead issue for me. Since I am a middle school teacher, meeting men my age is a challenge, hence my membership on POF. I've met one man from this site that really made my heart jump, but he has a girlfriend in another state. I've had lots of men email me and I email back ,but then no answers. Men have me on their favorites list but I don't hear much from that group either when I send them a "Hi, how are you?" I think for my age group it just seems complicated, it is going to require effort and what if we don't like each other? Maybe that isn't what is happening but it feels that way on my end. I'll just keep fishing and going to activities where there might be people my age. Thats all a person can do. As for the "pool" on this site, I've seen quite a few interesting profiles and nice looking guys. Makes me wonder if they're real, lol!
 sassyscorpiochick
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 46
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/14/2011 8:08:03 PM
Romance is not dead!

Honestly, I was really giving up hope that there was anyone in my rual area . I went on a lot of first meets with people I had no interest in. Then it happened. I met someone who messaged me from here and we have been together nearly every day since then.

Now instead of feeling for so long that meeting someone was hopeless, I have a very hopeful future with him.
 Silver-Dove
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 47
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/15/2011 9:32:45 AM
In the past five years, i met one man who thought "COULD" be the one. OK, I'm a LOT over 45 - like 20 years over, so my libido has greatly slowed down. So I don't feel that rush of hormones as easily. That's one part of the equation that adds up to low result.

The second part is perhaps what the OP is looking at?? I do not find men my age - on the whole - very attractive. Many men my age, or even as much as ten years younger than me, look older than me and remind me of my UNCLES when I was a kid! (Maybe some are lying about their real age?)

The mere thought of kissing some of them is appalling, not appealing.

Yet I do not quite want to go the cougar route, either. I want someone I can converse intelligently with, and have some things in common, not just bang.
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 48
Weigh In (figuratively!) on This One,?
Posted: 8/16/2011 9:06:18 AM
I live in a small town where, according to the 2006 cencus and I know many more retirees have flocked here since, almost half the population is over the age of 60. Consequently, finding single guys around my age is a challenge to say the least. I have had that "wow" factor twice in my life. First with my husband (now ex) of 17 years...then a few years ago when I met someone in real life.

I keep hoping it can and will happen again...but as the years slide by I am beginning to doublt that will be my reality. However, hearing all these positive stories on this thread...I'm beginning to see there might still be hope after all

I am finding, and I don't know if it's just me, that guys my age if they have taken care of themselves, have good genes, and look good for their age most seem to be looking for much younger women than I. However, I seem to have my pick of the over 60 crowd
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 49
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Posted: 8/17/2011 4:36:40 PM
It's been a decade, and I have all but given up.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 50
Weigh In on This One,?
Posted: 8/18/2011 9:17:53 PM
It's been TOO Long..!!
Partially because #1.) There are a smaller % of available, attractive women at this age than there are 35/40-year-olds.
And #2.) Those that are available have a greater chance of being 'polluted' by previous
bad relationships, and are less likely to give someone new an even-break...
_Just_ because he's a male!!!
I have a short list of favorites, here...and would kneel for any of them...
(But there's that ~little~ technicality with most all of them that always gets in the way:
*Distance*!)
But...If I could find that *WOW*-Lady...I'd jump a long way to make her the happiest lady
(of our age)
in town..!!
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