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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > "Soul Mates" defined at this time in our lives?      Home login  
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 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 129
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Mr wingy : I have been active on this site for almost a year and have learned it is only about dates . I am not very interested in dates unless they lead to a long term relationship . Unfortunately it seems most are only interested in getting as many first dates as possible . So welcome to the merry go round.
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 130
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/25/2013 11:39:55 AM
Regardless of what time in our lives the word soul mate is for a lack of a better word "stupid". My soul mate might be living in Mesa, Arizona right this minute and she hasn't the foggiest idea that I walk this earth alone. There isn't enough money in this world to help me find that "one" soul mate. So I move on and don't look back.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 131
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History
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/25/2013 12:37:57 PM
long, long ago ... when I was married ... we were having a "romantic dinner" out
and my husband asked me if I thought I knew who my "soul mate" was ... I was
puzzled and didn't respond so, gazing at me romantically across the table with
a candle between us, he proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes or so, telling
me all about the beautiful Russian girl he'd seen in some class in high school
and never had the nerve to speak to her and he was convinced SHE was the ONE!
and how he'd recently looked her up, talked to her mother in Texas and determined
that this Russian girl had died ... so now, he would never know for sure ...

if our marriage wasn't on the rocks prior to that point, it was then for sure ... he
asked me again who I thought my "soul mate" was ... I said something like, "until
just now ... I'd thought it was you!" but I was thinking, "I'm sooo over this!"
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 132
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/25/2013 12:51:27 PM
Msg 151:

I too have searched a lifetime thinking I have found my soul mate on several occasions only to find some major differences...


Does that mean soul mates are a dime a dozen, since you found them and discarded them regularly? It looks like your definition of a soul mate is anyone who will date you.



I am concurrently in a 6 year relationship that I believe is going sour...


First of all, I think you meant to say you are currently in a 6 year relationship. I too can believe it's going sour, considering you have a profile here saying you're looking for a relationship while still in a relationship. Is the current guy another ex-soulmate?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 133
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/25/2013 3:17:50 PM
Some of these posts are hilarious. :D

I’m very picky and difficult to please so my soul mate has to have balls of steel. That should narrow it down for me nicely.

Molly Maude….your ex-husband sounds like a real stupid ass.
 Sapphireeyes100
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 134
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/25/2013 6:42:40 PM
Aren't most people using soul mates as excuses?

The whole concept of someone else sooo getting you that you wont have to worry or fight? Vs learning to compromise and communicate ...

just seems to be another thing that people use to isolate themselves and blame the opposite sex about
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 135
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/26/2013 10:09:51 AM
I know my soul. I highly doubt there is another like it thus, by default, there is no "mating" going on with it.
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 136
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/26/2013 6:51:42 PM
What I remember from the 'Mars and Venus on a Date' written by Dr. Gray, there are 4 types of chemistry:
physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. And apparently if you can hit all 4 then you have your soul mate.

And since he also said that people find their mates when they aren't looking, that means there is hope for all of us...perhaps including the knucklehead poster that called wingmanrides "mr.wingy."
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 137
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/27/2013 9:16:51 AM
What's funny is people have the vision of finding a soul mate as being some magical force that brings two people who are perfect for each other together-yet in almost every case, it happens to be someone who lives in the same community or same neighborhood and went to the same high school or college at the same time. What a coincidence.

This brings another issue: If people think they found their soul mate and get married, why do about half of soul mates end up getting divorced-often very bitterly? Is your ex still your soul mate? It's funny how soul mate status changes so quickly and easily. One minute, it's your other half-the perfect person you can't live without. The next minute, it's the SOB you cannot tolerate and hope to never see again.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 138
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/27/2013 10:57:49 AM

What I remember from the 'Mars and Venus on a Date' written by Dr. Gray, there are 4 types of chemistry:
physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. And apparently if you can hit all 4 then you have your soul mate.

And since he also said that people find their mates when they aren't looking, that means there is hope for all of us...perhaps including the knucklehead poster that called wingmanrides "mr.wingy."


Thank God I had just put down my coffee or it would have spewed all over my monitor. LOL!!!

I will now always see wingmanrides as mr wingy. :) I like that.


It's funny, I have never read that book but I have always said exactly the same thing (those four things to me are important; and I really would like someone who fits all four; but if not all of them, three minimum).

It's eay to find one or two, but INCREDIBLY difficult to find all of them. And when you have a disconnect, that disconnect can be a killer of a relationship; because it means a core part of each person has opposite comfort zones, and THAT means one of them will be miserable while the other is comfortable, unless they both compromise and they are both happy being only a little miserable :)

I don't think there is just one for everyone, but I also think they are pretty rare. But are amazing if you find them.

And I fully agree fleuron, maudemolly's ex sounds like a total tool. Yikes.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 139
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/27/2013 2:08:12 PM
SOUL MATE, IMO, S=stupid, O=overrated, U=useless, L=language, M=most, A=annoying, T=term, E=ever
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 140
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/27/2013 2:23:27 PM

LOL!!!
I will now always see wingmanrides as mr wingy. :) I like that.

You maybe should get his permission lol, anyways I do agree with him that it takes lots of time to get to really know someone.

There is nothing 'magical' or anything to meeting our soul mates but I just wanted to mention the book's explaination of the chemistries: Physical =desire, Emotional=affection, Mental=interest and Spiritual=love. That is why a couple can have a ton of physical desire for eachother but have no other connection.

I see so many couples living like roommates..seems their kids left and took the couples chemistries with them. They share no interests, aren't affectionate or sexual with eachother, and do not come together for anything. Pathetic really and no wonder it doesn't last.


Is your ex still your soul mate? It's funny how soul mate status changes so quickly and easily. One minute, it's your other half-the perfect person you can't live without. The next minute, it's the SOB you cannot tolerate and hope to never see again.

Good points. Maybe they rushed the whole relationship ("All or Nothing"), maybe thought the other person was going to change a habit etc. once they married, or perhaps they came right out of ma and pa's house (or worse their previous marriage) into (another) marriage without knowing who they were as a person on their own. Who knows man.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 141
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 10/27/2013 10:12:30 PM

Soul mates, or life partners, or loves of our lives are attained through time, love, respect, compromise and communication. Be your partners biggest fan.


ok, then wingy it is, without the mr. (I've been accused of being a little left of center myself, so I can relate :))

And agree on the above, though in the case of soul mates (life partners), it's both partners being each OTHER'S biggest fans while both do all of the above.

If both people are all in? They can go the distance.

if it is only one? They won't make it, no matter how attentive the other one is.
 CaptainTeebs
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 142
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 11/9/2013 2:57:38 AM

SOUL MATE, IMO, S=stupid, O=overrated, U=useless, L=language, M=most, A=annoying, T=term, E=ever

I need to go make myself a coffee. Then read it again, take a sip and spray it all over the keyboard. Thank you. Thank you.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 143
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 11/10/2013 3:42:55 PM
lascaireachtaris- The practical part of me decided to look it up rather than wax poetic. Here's what I found :
"Two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity."
Sounds good to me.
 completelyhappy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 144
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Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 12/9/2013 4:37:43 PM
For me it is definately necessary to be spiritually connected- material and financial and sexual (eventually) will all fade away and the soul connection will be there for you when you are ready to go to Heaven.

I saw my parents in their 90's just holding hands and smiling and there's was very much a spiritual connection.
blessings
 arose4u60
Joined: 12/3/2013
Msg: 145
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 12/10/2013 8:22:14 AM
horray. i like one too.
but i belive in my lifetime.
that you do only have one.
design by god.
and that he may not of knew he was the one.
cause to me love happen only once. true love in your life.

and my soulmate is in ny
married to someone else.
he was my other half.
and i knew it.
so write know in my life i'm timeless.


mc
 Vertical-Man
Joined: 11/9/2013
Msg: 146
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/3/2014 5:41:44 PM
It seems to me that when we use the words "soul mate" it is just another way of describing our ideal mate but on a deeper emotional and even spiritual level. Unfortunately, these words fall into the same realm of abstraction as the word "God" and "Love"- no one really knows what they mean with absolute certainty. We think we know but not even the most wise in our respective spiritual traditions can conceptualize these words in ways that can truly make a tangible difference in our heart and mind. Should anyone ask us what they mean, we find ourselves -in various ways and degrees- with a believe in them that was passed on to us from our parents and our respective religion. But no matter which one we believe in, they remain insufficient in addressing the most pressing concerns of our existence i.e., of learning what it means to be human. I would argue that words like sincerity, honesty, undivided attention, thoughtfulness, and CARING are far more important than Soul Mate, God, and Love. Mainly because the former are far more straightforward and therefore cannot be so misconstrued. But more importantly, being sincere, for instance, has no meaning unless we make the conscious decision to ACT upon it. The very act of doing so can bring us closer to our humanity and the divine within ourselves.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 147
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/4/2014 9:59:25 AM
In it's purest and most literal sense, it's a beautiful idea.
Unfortunately, the term has been so over-used, mis-used, used as an agenda-hider,etc that I steer away from any guy who uses the term because I think it's hype he's using to try and pull the wool over my eyes.
Cindy O
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 148
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History
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/4/2014 10:20:49 AM
I will take "great" mate.
There is no such thing as a SOUL mate.
Romantic term people seem to like and there's nothing biblical about it, at least in the King James version..
You can read about how to be a good mate in the bible, but it never mentions one person meant for someone nor a soul mate.

I have had a dog I have felt a deep connection with in my gut and a child.
Not the same as with a mate.It's a different connection.

I don't see a man/woman relationship as that complex.
You love/trust and desire them and they you or don't.
It will last longer if you have SEPARATE bathrooms! You can bet on that.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 149
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/6/2014 7:21:50 AM

SOUL MATES ... is a new age fantasy.
Partner , Friend , Lover trinity is what you really want.


Funny, new age is the Partner , Friend , Lover trinity stuff.

Soulmates was described by Plato in his Symposium, where he has a story about soul mates.

Whatever want to believe about soul mates, you got the old age and new age thinking reversed.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 150
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/6/2014 9:04:21 AM
^^^ I view soul mates as a concept, a person with whom one has a feeling of a natural affinity for. And that is the standard definition. Someone with whom you feel you have the strongest bond with than any other person you have ever met.

As a concept, it doesn't fall under fantasy / scientific reality, it's a description of how one feels. Some people might describe soul mates in a way that makes it more of a fantasy, but they aren't using the term as it is defined.

Homeopath medicine has never gone away, some of it has become the basis of modern prescription meds, some of it is purely bogus. So I don't think of that as either new or old age.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 151
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/6/2014 1:40:06 PM
^^^ crystals, I would have to google it and research, as the only thing I know about crystals is some people think they have some sort of power. It seems all new age to me, but just my impression. BTW, new age as in late 1970s, not sure about how new age crystals are today.

The whole lets be lovers and not get too seriously attached as in living together is definitely new age, as in the 2000s. Historically people needed to couple up for survival. Now not at all really.


and you may feel you have a soul mate ... until 3 years later and poof ... what happened .... I guess they weren't and it now looks like it was all a fantasy created by pheromones and dopamine and the desire for it to be true.


Could be, but until it's all over, how is anyone able to predict that a relationship will eventually fail?

But that sort of relationship failing wouldn't concern me that much, I could just look for someone else. By my definition of soul mate being one that one has a close affinity with, there are many potential soul mates. But I wouldn't look for a soul mate, I would look for someone I had fun with in bed as well as out of bed. That is good enough for me to date them for a while.

I am just puzzled why some people get upset by the term?
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 152
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:39:31 PM

Dr. Gray says…..its four types of being physical, emotional, mental and spiritual…….
And since he also said that people find their mates when they aren't looking, that means there is hope for all of us..


^^^^^ And why is that ? Pray tell…...

For your soul mate or s/o…..that would be a plus with that kind of similar resumé …… and…….
.that said too in the same breath, that said, other person, is let to be free too…
As being in their own individually style…. to grow,learn prosper, within themselves etc…… & to love admire, and respect …. if you don't interfere with that,.then he or she can be as good as its gets……. and that….is soul…. baby…..

But……. for some of the real soul mates back in the day, imo Sam & David…aka "I'm a Soul Man." or The Young Rascals" where some of the true….soul guys……"Have Mercy on Me"……. ^^^^^
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 153
Soul Mates defined at this time in our lives?
Posted: 1/6/2014 8:57:32 PM
How convenient it would be to meet someone in the same zip code, right? Well, then I wonder, what are the odds of my soul mate even living in the same state?

I think a soul mate would be the ying to my yang. I've been married 3x. I only thought the 3rd was close to being my soul mate and here I am, single again.

Short answer...a soul mate would be someone that loved me with all my flaws. But you know what? I bet there are soul mates that have gotten divorced and the sad thing is, these people will probably never meet another 'soul mate' again.

Sad:(
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