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 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 44
Education and datingPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

…whether a degree has helped you in your dating life, specifically, online dating only. Has it gotten you better quality dates? Has it gotten you more dates?

When I did searches, I always searched for a bachelor’s degree minimum, and sometimes only advanced degrees. Some men that I met or interacted with mentioned that they viewed my having degrees as an asset.

More or better quality dates? Impossible to tell, and quality of person is not directly related to degrees. I’m pretty sure some men avoided me because of my degrees and some even withdrew because of the specifics of them. Self-selection, so that’s all okay.

The man I’m seeing has formal education through HS. He told me he was hesitant to contact me in part because of my degrees and certain stereotypes. But he's not one to let that stop him, I guess.
 modivin
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 45
Education and dating
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:18:11 PM
Higher education.....

In person has made a difference with more dates. Online, no changes.
 BBurlington
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 46
Education and dating
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:05:55 PM
Intelligence is a deal breaker for me. I am looking for someone to challenge me . A lady who can hold in own during a conversation and make it interesting. Brains are sexy, super sexy.

Usually intelligence correlates to education. This could lead some looking for degree as a starting point. That being said I have met very educated men and women who were completely inept in social situations. On the flip side I have had in depth meaningful conversations with a friends dad who dropped out of high school and worked as a brick layer his entire life.

If its totally a money issue a degree will be an asset. If its an intelligence issue than you also have to admit that it proves at the very least the intent to better your education.

Between Social Smarts/Book Smarts and IQ/EQ there are many different variables which make up intelligence. A diploma does add value, as it should, but my no means should be a reference point on if you talk to someone or not. Any day of the week I would take a self taught socially confident intelligent woman over a woman who earned a diploma and who's conversation was dry and painful to take part in.
 msinnocuous
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 47
Education and dating
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:30:10 PM
Speaking as a female (not for females), I think my degree status has had mixed results in regards to my dating life. On one hand, I believe it has intimidated individuals I'd be a poor match for anyway. On the other, it hasn't really decreased or increased my amount of responses.

Meh.
 SharkByte81
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 48
Education and dating
Posted: 10/20/2011 12:29:04 AM

So, if someone you dated had an interest in stargazing, but has never done it, does that mean that she is not datable? Seems to me that it would be a perfect opportunity to share something that you have a passion for. What is wrong with that?


You are absolutely correct, it doesn't make her not datable. However Saturn is pretty obvious. I would expect anyone who paid any attention at all in grade school to recognize Saturn in a good scope. In all honesty, if i took a girl out stargazing and she had no idea what it was I was showing her I would take the opportunity to share something I'm passionate about. If i pointed the scope at the Pleiades cluster I wouldn't expect her to have any clue what she was looking at. I would expect an "OHHHH Its so pretty" which I could follow up with the legend of the seven sisters. The Orion nebula turns into the story of the great hunter chasing the great bear (the big dipper is the bears tail) through the heavens for all eternity. Its just a good way to show a girl some amazing sights and tell some stories. The greater majority of what I could show you I wouldn't expect you to recognize.

I would not expect the average girl to be able to tell me the difference between a Porsche and an Aston Martin but i would expect someone with a high school education to be able to recognize a the ringed giant in a high quality telescope
 NobadeeFTW
Joined: 10/20/2011
Msg: 49
Education and dating
Posted: 10/23/2011 10:56:36 AM
Can I be the one who points out the obvious? If they are on here, then their degree is as beneficial to their dating life as every other user on here without one.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 50
Education and dating
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:35:53 AM
In my case, my having a Master's degree does not make one difference in "attracting" men online. As far as I know.

I have found that all men care to look at on here are my pictures and don't even bother reading anything on my profile including my education level.

Offline is a different story entirely...
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 51
Education and dating
Posted: 10/23/2011 2:55:39 PM
^^^ Ha, i lived on a Florida island for 10 years & i used to get those type of messages too, lol,
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 52
Education and dating
Posted: 10/23/2011 3:32:45 PM
My thread has been resurrected!

Thanks Kytten, for getting this back on track. The thread isn't about intelligence so much as social circles. Do people without a degree seek out/or not people who do not have a degree (70% of the population in the U.S. do not have advanced degrees) and vice versa? The impact on those decision has to make a difference for people who have a degree because they can't only date people who do (there isn't enough people with degrees). So, just like being over qualified for a job can you be over qualified to date? The real factor, I imagine, is income, but that is closely associated to education.

I see both points of mystery and Larissan.
 Tankeryanker56
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 53
Education and dating
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:35:26 AM
I am going to say that yes, the degree has been helpful in getting the conversation started online. I have had feedback on my degree at the meet and greet stage, but not so much during our first few posts.

Online the only thing that I can tell about your degree is that you can finish what you start. I can't tell if you also have an arrest record as long as your arm, suffer from road rage or are a dead beat parent.

For me, as long as a guy has his act together enough to be say a UPS driver. That's enough for me. I am using UPS as example because they have a decent standard for what they will hire yet they are unskilled labor.

I want to be devoted to a man, not his job, toys, or degree(s).
 Mikemiller2011
Joined: 10/31/2011
Msg: 54
Education and dating
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:52:15 AM
Does not matter. I almost have my masters degree and not have noticed any increase/decrease in quality of women and inquiries. Only thing it might show is someone has some ambition to better oneself. Overall the degrees are for employers and your current job to decide, not a potential date.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 55
Education and dating
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:07:47 AM
Having a degree is not nearly as important to me as having intelligence and a well-rounded personality. Experience in life and how to use that wisely, to me, is extremely vital. Does this mean that I would not be interested in a man who has a degree? Absolutely not. As long as he can talk/act outside the box, his degree(s) would be icing. Nothing wrong with that!
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 56
Education and dating
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:45:30 AM

what many people actually lack is initiative, motivation, and self-discipline.
getting an advanced degree is a proxy for those traits but by no means a guarantee.


Especially when they pay the smart kids to do all the work for them.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 11:37:41 AM
Apparently the best place for men to find women to date is college, as I read this article today:

http://www.vox.com/2015/2/17/8050259/discrimination-against-women-is-a-real-problem-in-college-admissions

Quote from article (whose link probably won’t be fully visible but it is from Vox if you want to search):

“Two generations ago, women were in the minority in higher education. Now they're dominating it.

In 1960, women earned 35 percent of all bachelor's degrees. They crossed the 50 percent mark in the late 1970s and just kept going.

Women now make up 59 percent of all college students. In 2011, they earned 62 percent of all associate degrees, 57 percent of all bachelor's degrees, and 60 percent of all master's degrees. They now even earn the majority of doctorates — the last bastion of male domination in higher education.”

The fact that women have come to dominate college admissions and degrees is nothing new to anyone who pays attention to these kinds of things, although their current 1.5 to 1 ratio surprised even me. What REALLY shocked me about this article is this:

“Women are so dominant, in fact, that some colleges — particularly private colleges — overtly or covertly give men a boost in the admissions process. If you're hoping to be admitted to a prestigious private college that doesn't specialize in engineering, it helps to be male.”

So it’s come to this: men have gone from dominating academics as recently as the 1980s to men needing “affirmative action” to get into college. IS THAT NOT INSANE? That actually BLOWS MY MIND.

What do you think about that?

And back to the original, more POF-related issue: you would THINK this would help guys get dates in college, but I’m not so sure. Interestingly, that 1.5 to 1 ratio is almost exactly the opposite of POF’s female to male ratio (it is NOT “10 to 1” or all this other crap flustered guys are always spouting around here). But the difference is, everybody on POF is single (or at least “looking”). A lot of women start colleges with boyfriends already. That’s far less true with freshmen males. Furthermore, just because there’s a substantial gender imbalance doesn’t necessarily make those women “desperate” for mates and willing to date “undesirable” men. In the long term, as Ainen pointed out recently in another thread, it could become a problem for college women who only want to marry men with college degrees, but at the college dating stage, it seems more likely we’ll just end up with a group of college “studs” dating multiple women, while the less desirable men still sit in the dorm dateless.

Regardless, I definitely would have taken those odds in college. At the time I was attending, my university's ratio was actually 56% male 44% female if I’m not mistaken (currently it is exactly the opposite: 56% female 44% male, despite having prominent engineering and agriculture departments).

Once again, I have screwed up by being born too soon.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 11:47:15 AM
I care more about earning reality and potential. If you can get that without a degree, then it works for me.

A masters in art is dandy, but its not the best field to be successful in. I'm college educated and chose a field that was intellectually doable for me and had the potential to make a lot of money. I've never had a guy upset about my degree or my field. A few grumbled about my pay grade being higher than theirs, but they chose fields that didn't pay a lot. Not my problem.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 59
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 1:45:22 PM
Old thread, yet:

OP, that seems impossible to answer:

Having had a certain education/degree, a person could not really tell whether it helped or hindered as naturally one would not know how it had been without having had that education/degree.

Saying how would I know whether my degree has gotten me "better quality dates" (an awkward term!!) or more dates than I would have gotten without it?

Or what any higher degree would have sourced in terms of dates?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 60
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 4:03:45 PM
At the Best, the Most you can have is Anecdotal Evidence with no way to eliminate the Conformational Bias, of those Replying to the question...
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 61
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 4:04:37 PM
OP, that seems impossible to answer:
^^^^^^
I don't know that it is impossible more than people don't want to hear the answers. In terms of quality, I'll go on the assumption that everybody reading this is in the market for love. If that is indeed the case then, the term "better quality dates" would be closer to someone who is more likely to reciprocate your affection than some arbitrary socio-economic status.

I've heard it said that if a woman is pretty enough then she doesn't need any more intelligence than an orang-utan to do very well in life. Even if that were so, there is the matter of any particular woman's own personal aspirations and curiosity that are best served by education. Education is something that women should pursue for its own sake. Boxtox and implants are probably much better investments than college in terms of dating. For overall quality of life, education wins handily.

For men, education will never encourage love. At best, it will allow him to earn more money and attract a woman who is tired of the rigmarole associated with getting a man that she actually wants. If the goal is reciprocated love then leading with your wallet and diplomas is a very poor strategy. Its boring. Other men don't even care so why should a woman? I won't deny that vast riches can be a turn on, but a Master's in Dutch Literature? ehhh. Again, get an education for its own sake. Two different things. Love is primal but education is constructed.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Education and dating
Posted: 2/20/2015 8:04:29 PM
My degrees have meant Jack and diddly, and Jack isn't even my type. Women haven't gotten past my picture to even bother finding out whether or not I have a brain so other than what I have said already I have no input in regards to whether or not it has helped or hindered. The latter even more difficult to answer, because if they feel they don't measure up because of my education I wouldn't even know it due to a lack of response in the first place.


I've heard it said that if a woman is pretty enough then she doesn't need any more intelligence than an orang-utan to do very well in life. Even if that were so, there is the matter of any particular woman's own personal aspirations and curiosity that are best served by education. Education is something that women should pursue for its own sake. Boxtox and implants are probably much better investments than college in terms of dating. For overall quality of life, education wins handily.


But those who are actually pretty are banking on their looks to snag a doctor or lawyer. Someone that can afford them in the first place (what I refer to as "Live in Prostitutes") so they don't need a brain to get further in life. They just want to be lazy and do nothing in a sense other than maybe squeeze out a kid or two just as an insurance method to ensure that should divorce occur, they can maintain a decent lifestyle with their biological pay days that are used frequently to hold over the guys head to get further botox and implant treatments while they flirt with younger men. Of course that is a negative thing to say, but not entirely far from the truth. We see them all the time, one of the most famous is the queen of the Kardashian house. Though I beg to differ on the term "famous" in regards to all of the Kardashian women from said household.


For men, education will never encourage love. At best, it will allow him to earn more money and attract a woman who is tired of the rigmarole associated with getting a man that she actually wants. If the goal is reciprocated love then leading with your wallet and diplomas is a very poor strategy. Its boring. Other men don't even care so why should a woman? I won't deny that vast riches can be a turn on, but a Master's in Dutch Literature? ehhh. Again, get an education for its own sake. Two different things. Love is primal but education is constructed.


Sex is primal. Love is societal. And of course you said it, education constructed. I agree education should be paramount for everyone in life. Never stop learning new things. Society always hangs by a thin strand, and riches changes forms at times. Currently intelligence isn't universally sexy nor valued. In the western societies it seems ignorance is praised far more often. One can go out on the street and mention the name Kanye West and get quite a bit of opinions. Of course I don't care who she is. But if one were to mention the name Alan Turing or even Stephen Hawking there would be considerable eye brows raised, followed by "Huh?"
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 63
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 6:39:09 PM

Not sure if having a degree has gotten me either more or better quality dates than someone without a degree, but I've gotten e-mails from plenty of seemingly poorly educated men. You know, the ones who come at you using textspeak. I've gotten some e-mails from men who seem well educated and bright, but those have been fewer.

Exactly the same thing here. Someone said men are better educated on Cupid, but that site's registration questions annoyed me so much I never finished registering.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 64
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:11:21 PM
Just something interesting: An astronomical number of men lie on their profiles about their levels of education. It's extremely popular for men to lie about having Masters degrees (and really easy to ascertain that they're lying). As far as men who falsely select "Graduate Degree": I'm not sure that that they're intentionally lying - I suspect a lot of them confuse "Graduate Degree" with having graduated from High School.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:31:22 PM

Someone that can afford them in the first place (what I refer to as "Live in Prostitutes") so they don't need a brain to get further in life. They just want to be lazy and do nothing in a sense other than maybe squeeze out a kid or two just as an insurance method to ensure that should divorce occur, they can maintain a decent lifestyle with their biological pay days that are used frequently to hold over the guys head to get further botox and implant treatments while they flirt with younger men. Of course that is a negative thing to say, but not entirely far from the truth. We see them all the time, one of the most famous is the queen of the Kardashian house. Though I beg to differ on the term "famous" in regards to all of the Kardashian women from said household.

Well, stupid and lazy women have been "marrying up" for centuries, doubt that's going to stop anytime soon....

Equality being what it is today, there are equally as many men out there living off of women, too.

As far as the "Kardashian Culture"....well, women like that are in the "famed 1%ers" and frankly are the exception, and NOT the rule.....
Let's face it, women like that make me fairly want to gag....PEOPLE like that, actually...I've met MANY men who are equally as vapid and opportunistic.
@ryuoki...
I have to say that I'm pretty sure that your particular problem is most likely geographical. Have you considered a move to another part of your State or Country?
I know plenty of women who would find you attractive and are looking for a man who is a professional and self-supporting, as are they.

Maybe you just need to move somewhere where the average woman actually knows what an engineer does???? lol
As far as your looks, well, I've been through this with other posters on here...You are an average looking guy. You're NOT ugly or unattractive. There is NO reason that you shouldn't be able to attract a woman, even a slightly younger woman mid to late 30s let's say, who still wants to have kids.

But, I also know that you have had your own Life experiences that have led you to the conclusions about yourself that you have and that will only change if there is new information that you are willing to accept as being true, though it may be contrary to your own beliefs about yourself.

Move to a large city and I guarantee, that if you get out and about that you will find a different perspective.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 66
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 11:25:47 PM

Just something interesting: An astronomical number of men lie on their profiles about their levels of education. It's extremely popular for men to lie about having Masters degrees (and really easy to ascertain that they're lying). As far as men who falsely select "Graduate Degree": I'm not sure that that they're intentionally lying - I suspect a lot of them confuse "Graduate Degree" with having graduated from High School.


That's easy to suss.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 67
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 11:27:32 PM

Exactly the same thing here. Someone said men are better educated on Cupid, but that site's registration questions annoyed me so much I never finished registering.


I wasn't exactly impressed with OK Stupid. I didn't find prospects there any more eligible and interesting than here. (Incidentally, I found my s.o. on PoF (and he was a paid member, not that it matters).
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 68
Education and dating
Posted: 2/23/2015 11:29:34 PM
To add:
There aren't any shortcuts in relating to somebody; whether they participate in PoF, Stupid, or Match, the same effort of building relationships still applies. The onus is on the user to actually participate in the development of their prospects to turn them into the relationships they seek.

All too often, (disillusioned) users erroneously believe that relationships will just fall out of the sky. And just because somebody has genetic/social privilege doesn't mean they shouldn't do the same (though it does seem -- at least on the exterior-- that it's easier for them; when in reality, it isn't always the case).
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