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Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6
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WOW DatePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
He was polite enough to send you an email thanking you for a good time, and you responded.....good so far......

Now, give him at least three or four days to get back to you, and if not, you can send him an email saying that you were thinking about him and your date, and wanted to feel that yet again and hopefully get to know him better. If he does not respond within a day or two, I would chalk it up as another hit and miss.

I can not tell you how many on here have contacted me, said they wanted to know me better and then they back off waiting for me to do most of the work getting to know them........not happening. If you send an email, and get a response, it should be your turn to send one back, then theirs to reply.

Why oh why do we somehow need to have one pursuing, and one needing to be pursued? Can we not just be equals and say what we feel, do as we say, and follow through with one another as equals?

I find it very stimulating and sensual when a woman is assertive enough to contact me, and then to want to be my equal in the pursuit of knowing each other. When those that contact me, step back and now either think or say.......You are the man, so come after me, all it does is turn me off!

Good luck with your time on this site and finding what you are looking for......and trust me on this one, there are many of us that have been here a much longer time, and experienced about everything you can while being on a computer.....go figure!!

Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 7
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 12:45:12 PM
Thanks- yes I have trouble with finding men. Most men I meet are married. VERY difficult to meet any single guys and I hate having to use these sites.

I'm very easy to get along with- laid back, very calm personality, no baggage or carry on's-I've just had trouble meeting ANYONE.

On these sites, getting someone to go out is like the lottery. I just don't see a lot of guys I'd be interested in- as a lot in my age range LOOK old or have 7 kids- or they're not ready for dating. Or they've got money problems. So I was enthused to find someone who actually acted interested in ME and didnt' seem to have lots o' baggage.

Nothing strange going on with me- I just apparently don't attract a wide variety of men.
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 8
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 3:23:44 PM
I think you should be 'forward' and contact the guy. Chances are he will be flattered, and glad that you are enthusiastic about seeing him again. What have you got to lose? If he doesn't want to get together again, at least you will KNOW, rather than waiting around WONDERING. Go for it girlfriend!
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 9
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WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 3:33:08 PM
I would wait to hear from him. He may have changed his mind about the lunch date. If he's interested in you, he'll definately contact you. Good luck!
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 10
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 4:11:44 PM
I go with Nature maid.

Asking what his schedule is like next weekend...
or asking him to go with you to some place fun is not too forward.
If he is interested, he'll go.
If not, you haven't stuck your neck out too far.

You can wait.....and not know.
Or you can contact him and know which it is.
Being proactive simply clears things up
and lets you know if there is a possibility with him,
or if you need to fish further.
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 11
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 6:51:39 PM
Don't contact him again. Wait a week after the first date and if he doesn't call again then he's not interested: move on. I know it's rough when you like someone and are not sure if they like you back, but the best you can do is just remain as unattached emotionally as you can at this point.
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 12
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:22:35 PM
Yep I tend to think I may give him a buzz later on Thursday if he hasn't come forward. I read that lots of men on these sites really want women to pursue them as well so I shouldn't feel pushy I guess. I just dread that 'silence' that I may get, but I guess you never know till you try!
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 13
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WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 9:38:32 PM

I agree with you OP...a lot of guys (and women, too) are just always wanting to trade up - looking for the Bigger Better Deal.

Miss StackHouse!! It's not usually about trading up for a bigger better deal. Frankly, this happens to me a lot. I will meet someone for a date and go out with them. Most of the time have a great date with them. But decide at some point that they are simply not what I am looking for. there was no chemistry or at least not enough for me to want to pursue them and go out again. It's a matter of you were nice, you were fun, but I did not feel that spark with you. You may make the 'buddy' grade, but not the romantic partner grade. this is not trading up. It's about being honest and not taking advantage of a person that may be more interested in you than you are in them.

To the other poster who said he maybe wasn't into me, Oh yes, I do realize that. But the signal was there that he was.

Oh well.

It's just very hard to get anyone to even meet and when they do they're usually either A) not what I'm looking for or
B) I'm not what they're looking for

So when I do meet somene fantabulous I wish they'd give it another shot to go out again. It just seems like you keep meeting and meeting and meeting and meeting and there isn't mutual interest...

There were obviously a few signals and you have missed them. He is obviously not interested. Your title of a "WOW" date may have applied to you, more than him. In the end, does it even matter? you were not what he was looking for. While it sucks sometimes, don't take it to heart or personally and just move on. i will say though, that if this is something that is happening to you over and over and over again, then perhaps the issue lay with something that you are doing.
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 14
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 10:29:47 PM
Hmm, not so much that I'm falling for them all and they're leaving me behind in the dirt- not that at all. But you have to kiss lots of toads before a prince appears. It just seems rather far and very few between to find too many princes on here. When you do find the occasional prince, of course I'm sure LOTS of women are interested and they just have lots of girls to choose from.

It's just disappointing and I feel a little better venting-
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 15
WOW Date
Posted: 8/17/2011 10:54:46 PM
I agree with MsStackhouse - Give it a rest for at least a week before you try to power-date this guy into an early grave.

I did tell him he was one of the BEST I've met.

You're exploding - that can scare a guy off. Exploding is how women sometimes show desperation. You say you don't meet eligible men for dating often, so you let yourself get caught up in a rush of emotion and fast-forward anticipation. I'm sure he noticed.

Now you come here and gush about this guy with superlatives like Donald Trump. I'm sure even your best friends did not want to hear another word in short order. STOP. Catch your breath - put down the friggin' phone! Let REALITY come back into focus.

Give this guy some time to sort it out - does he REALLY like you, or was he simply relieved to not have a nightmare date, like you were? Did he REALLY want to date on Friday, or did he want to toss you a bone so you're drive away happy and he could block your phone number before getting in his car? Seriously -- you sound over-anxious, and even when guys want to see you, they don't want you climbing on his leg in 30 seconds.

Cool those jets, Gypsy Girl! Plenty of farm boys in the next village!
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 16
WOW Date
Posted: 8/18/2011 4:47:15 AM
Other than the height (most guys don't believe women want shorter men), I don't see a problem with your profile. You should be getting a lot of responses and dates. I'm guessing you are picky about who you go out with and that is fine.

There is no rule you can't call and ask him out. If he is a really good looking guy, yes, he is going to have other options, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try for him.

You're an attractive women and if you don't get this one don't worry because there are plenty more out there who would like to be with you.
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 17
WOW Date
Posted: 8/18/2011 6:24:53 AM
sorry honey..he just wasnt that much into you. he was being 'nice' & polite about a future lunch date, however i'm available sat. for
Seriously though, What exact signs did he give you that u 'think' he liked you? I dont see a whole lot here really as a guy.
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 18
WOW Date
Posted: 8/18/2011 11:40:38 AM
Thanks to everyone; yes it's all been conflicting- almost 50/50. When I was younger I would be more aggressive in going after the guy I wanted- hmmm, notsomuch now that I'm older and wiser.

I'm just perplexed by online dating- I'm always surprised at the amount of guys that will just want to email or have a phone relationship. I'm always happy if someone actually wants to meet. As one poster said, I am kind of picky, but so are most others to a certain extent. To answer one posters question- why did I think he liked me?- well he seemed genuinely pleased when I walked up, we had great conversation for well more than two hours- to the point to where I had to say 'hey I gotta go' and then the mention of lunch- if someone is not interested they don't even mention a second date, or so thats been MY experience.

Believe it or not I've walked up to some who appear disappointed or very disinterested- I have no clue why they'd feel this way- but it's happened.

I've been with some that I'm not interested in, so I cut it short. But this guy seemed to have a great time. I've also went out with a lot that I felt we had a 'connection' and they never call either. I realize we have to move on, but it just seems like you move on to yet another one thats not interested. I'd like to move onto one who IS interested!

And to those who have commented: No I don't think I'm 'doing anything' out of sorts to make someone run- I don't pander on about past dates or relationships, I don't drink, don't smoke, I have a job, I don't pick my nose nor do I twirl my hair, I ask questions of interest about him, I don't talk about money, I don't talk about taboo subjects and I don't ask them to commit their life to me on the first date! I try to be as neutral as possible, so don't know what goings on.. I guess this is just a product of the online, unpersonal dating game.
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 19
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WOW Date
Posted: 8/18/2011 11:57:41 AM
I agree with you MissStackhouse. Good luck OP!
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 20
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:23:44 AM
Welcome to the world of "online dating". If I were the guy involved and I browsed the forums, I would be a little (what word to use here?) perplexed (?) about reading about "our date" (which was not really a date, but rather a first encounter that turned out well). I would wonder what else you might turn to the forum world for when it comes to me. I think your looking for advice two days after meeting someone would be a topic for discussion if we ever got together again.

By the way, is your norm to tell the world about things that happen in your life (do you have a facebook account?). This is an aspect that would turn me off. I would see the question you posed in your OP being discussed with a girl friend... but in public??
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 21
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WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:46:32 AM
What does it hurt to send a quick message at the end of the week to ask if he wants to meetup and do something, if he doesn't then you know for sure and you won't be left wondering if you let the right one getaway. The guy maybe just busy, I know I have a pretty full schedule and don't always have alot of free time to chat.
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22
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WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:56:58 AM
Let’s cut to the chase here, OP. You are quite attractive given your age, but you are 48 years old. You cannot compete with women 15 to 20 years younger. If this man you just met is the same age as you, and is in fact “gorgeous”, the kind of man who can make a woman feel “beyond thrilled”, then he can easily date women 10, 15, or even 20 years younger.

I’m sorry if this sounds overly harsh to you, but if you are chasing after the “gorgeous” guys, you need to expect this kind of behavior. The best looking men have the most options, just as do the best looking women.
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 23
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:51:10 AM
He knows you're interested in him, you left no room for doubt, yes you came on too strong with that "best you ever had" stuff, guys don't want it too be too easy and if he was interested he'd contact you.

By disappearing you retain a slight edge of mystery, by contacting him even though you know he knows you want to see him again you're removing that last bit of "advantage" in what is unfortunately well known as the dating game, and additionally if you reach out and get struck down it's going to sting quite a bit more than you probably realize.

You have no realistic choice but to assume he's gone, move on and who knows maybe he'll exhaust his current list of potentials and your name will pop up once again.

It could also be that whole sleeping with chickens thing. I don't know I'd date a girl who shared her bed with a rooster, I don't ascribe to the notion that "anycockledo".
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 24
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:55:40 AM

You do NOTHING. As hard as it it - you already indicated that you'd like to see him again. Thanked him, and complimented him on being a great date. It might have been a little overboard, and guys get all weird when they think we really dig them. So, play it cool. The ball is in his court. Be patient. If he likes you, you will hear from him again. If not - no biggie. Keep fishing.

OP you certainly are pretty, u should be able to pick & choose from those who pursue you...let the right one come into your life
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 25
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:09:59 PM

You cannot compete with women 15 to 20 years younger.
What does that have to do with anything?

If this man you just met is the same age as you, and is in fact “gorgeous”, the kind of man who can make a woman feel “beyond thrilled”, then he can easily date women 10, 15, or even 20 years younger.
What does that have to do with anything?

if you are chasing after the “gorgeous” guys, you need to expect this kind of behavior.
Who said she is chasing after gorgeous guys?

Nothing you said is applicable to her situation.
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 26
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:21:17 PM
A buddy of mine went on a WOW date once. Things were going well until the girl left him for some creep who had a spectral tiger.
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 27
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:36:33 PM
If i'm interested in a man, he knows it. I would call in this scenario. If he doesn't want to continue, I'd rather know now. The "I'm-the-girl-come-and-get-me" approach isn't for moi~
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 28
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WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:56:12 PM
If it is a "wow"......why would you not go and get him, find out and/or convince him that you are the best thing since sliced......never would only confuse him.....lmao

Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 29
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 7:14:27 PM
^^^ If it's a Wow date then he already knows I am...

Food never confuses a man...women do that for him
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 30
WOW Date
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:31:26 PM
Agreed-the ball's in his court. Breathe, let it go, and trust that what is to be will be without your persistence
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