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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
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What do you think is romantic?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I find the whole region of time-space referred to as "Romantic" to be THE most tricky part of the universe to negotiate.

The biggest part of the problem with it, is that it isn't even SLIGHTLY objectively real. This is why there are SO many arguments and fights and even breakups caused by wrestling with it.

Similar to the Heisenberg Principle, the act of trying to BE romantic on purpose, very often causes one to appear to be manipulative instead. Asking for Romantic gestures, is like asking for unicorns, not so much because the romantic sensations and acts can't occur, but because one persons romantic act is anothers time-wasting self-delusion.

None of this is intended to even SUGGEST that I am opposed to, or sour on romance. Rather it is to lead up to my own appreciation, that the MOST romantic things I have experienced or done in my life, were those which were done entirely WITHOUT any expectation of a special response from the other person. They were acts that sprang directly from the desire of one person to do some thing, not so much because they IMAGINED they would please the other person, but because they spontaneously WANTED to do that thing for the other person for the sake of doing it.

Buying a diamond for someone because you think they will be impressed by how much you were willing to spend on a gift for them is NOT romantic, it's calculating. Buying a particular flower (or some other item) for them because when you saw it, you discovered something about it which made you think of the other person and enjoy thinking of them, is much closer to Romantic.

Doing a list of things to be nice to someone, or buying them gifts, with the expectation that they will accept it all on YOUR schedule is often not a recipe for Romance, but for disaster.

It isn't WHAT you do that makes it Romantic, it's WHY and HOW you do it, and whether or not you are truly connecting with the other persons' essence that has meaning.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 13
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 8:19:23 AM
To me romance is taking time to put the other first whether it be to start dinner because you know she woke up with a headache and you got home first to just spending time watching a favorite program together and being 'present' 100%.

I dont go for the grand gestures that some men think all women are into...but surprise me with a single flower for no reason and Id melt a little.
 unYOUsual
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 14
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 8:32:08 AM
I think people have romantic confused with polite...opening doors, pulling out chairs all of that is good manners...Romantic is anything that moves the other person emotionally, to me its anything unexpected that lets me know how much the person thinks about me and cares about me..an I love you note hidden in my lunch...a pair of socks cuz she knew I needed some not because I asked, renting a movie that I said I'd like to see a while ago without me asking, bringing me a snack just cuz she thought I might be hungry....sending a text just to ask how my day is going, calling just to let me know she loves me, pretty much anything that shows that she thinks about me when I am not there and that she cares and listens when we are together....walking in the moonlight, going to Paris, candle lit dinners all of that to me is just the Set, what matters is her reaching out to hold my hand on our walk, her gazing across the table smiling and whispering I love you...Here trying on a funny beret just to make me laugh....
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 15
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What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 10:57:08 AM

Of course I thought it was, lol. But you be the judge, then tell me what you think is romantic.
Candlelit dinner and soft music with memory photos... yeah, that's standard romantic. Doesn't take much thought or truly too much effort really...

I really can't decide which is more romantic for things done for me... both by the same gentleman.

-Showing up at my apartment in full firefighter's regalia with a bottle of wine and a dozen roses after a long day at work for him.

-Driving back with a friend in the truck and stopping at the side of the road because he saw a field of wildflowers and knew I'd love them if he picked me a bouquet. They were completely wilted by the time I received them, but I have never been given such a wonderful gift before or since.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 16
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 10:57:50 AM
There's no confusion.
In this day and age, the extra effort to be polite, showing good manners, is a romantic gesture. Throw in the surprises, flowers, gifts ,and remembering important days, he's considered a romantic man.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 17
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What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 1:07:01 PM
in my last relationship, my SO was very romantic ... when we were out (I thought) just aimlessly driving around, he'd manage it so that we got to a specific out of the way spot just as the sun was going down with a magnificent sunset ...

we'd be hiking and he'd know the perfect spot for our picnic lunch break ... he always seemed to know where the best vista was going to be ... and we'd have lunch there ... somewhere well off the beaten path ...

once when we were "taking a break" and some other man started showing me more attention that my SO thought appropriate by sending pink and/or red roses to my office ... my SO drove 35 miles to another town where he could get the exact shade of yellow roses he knew I liked ... it wasn't the quantity of roses ... it was the consideration!

my mother always brought me daffadills on Valentine's Day to the office ... the first year after her death, my boss had daffadills delivered to me ... that was just so unexpected, sensitive and considerate that I cried!

I went to a party with my SO and we were mingling ... he knew I wanted to dance because I always wanted to dance ... when the group started playing "Unchained Melody," he came, found me, took me out on the patio and, even tho it had just started drizzling a bit ... we danced ... sooo romantic!

I think romance is an unexpected demonstration of thoughtful concern, tenderness, compassion ... indicating he really KNOWS what you'd like ... the "unexpected" aspect being key ...

 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 20
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 5:11:08 PM
I agree with Daynadaze. Romance , like beauty, is without a doubt,in the eye of the beholder.I've always thought sitting in a hot tub with my Mr.Right,drinking pink champagne,with candles flickering and under a warm,summery, starry night sky is romantic .........some might not. I've also thought riding horses bareback by the ocean is romantic......for others,not so much. My dream has always been to be proposed to high up in the air in a hot-air balloon...... anyone who's afraid of heights would disagree. How about..........at a country fair on a double Ferris Wheel, as the sun sets and leaves a beautiful sky-scape?? While some may very well be daydreaming about any of these wonderful scenes,others may not. It doesn't make ME wrong or YOU right......or,vica-verse...it just makes us different. I celebrate being different from you.......after all.it'd be AMAZINGLY boring if we all thought the same,right??!
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 21
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 5:11:21 PM
I agree with Daynadaze. Romance , like beauty, is without a doubt,in the eye of the beholder.I've always thought sitting in a hot tub with my Mr.Right,drinking pink champagne,with candles flickering and under a warm,summery, starry night sky is romantic .........some might not. I've also thought riding horses bareback by the ocean is romantic......for others,not so much. My dream has always been to be proposed to high up in the air in a hot-air balloon...... anyone who's afraid of heights would disagree. How about..........at a country fair on a double Ferris Wheel, as the sun sets and leaves a beautiful sky-scape?? While some may very well be daydreaming about any of these wonderful scenes,others may not. It doesn't make ME wrong or YOU right......or,vica-verse...it just makes us different. I celebrate being different from you.......after all.it'd be AMAZINGLY boring if we all thought the same,right??!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 22
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/19/2011 11:04:03 PM
The day I first met ma hunny we: necked in the parking lot of Borders. We held hands and talked earnestly, while gazing in each other's eyes. For hours. But the absolute thing that lingers most from that day is, as we were leaving, he reached over and placed his right hand on the crest of my right hip, and guided me through the aisles and out of the store. I can close my eyes and still feel the weight of his hand there, and the gentle pressure. *That* is romantic.

Obviously romantic stuff kinda falls under the rubric of "thank you for trying." It's the unexpected hits that make me dizzy. Don't ask for many, don't expect them, ever. By my oh my when they happen. . . . !!!!!

 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 24
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/20/2011 8:36:03 AM

If you don't know what to do, just watch any Cary Grant movie......... that is one smooth operator..........


Oohhhh la la, Mr. Cary Grant
He just need to open the door just once and I'm humping him! Even though he is quite deceased lol
Point is .. the swoon factor. Make a girl swoon, that's romancing baby.She's then turned on and you are then one lucky boy.

But to be good....
....it has to come from the heart.


<---shall we make this the humping emoticon?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 25
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What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/20/2011 5:03:54 PM

Lint spotter, I am very glad I'm not dating you, lol. I guess you don't buy the old saying "it the thought that counts".
That's the thing, if it was thought out, then it would be greatly appreciated.

The wildflowers were significant. The gentleman knew that I loved wildflowers above all others and he took his time to pick them for me, even though his buddy was there and was ribbing him a little for that gesture.

Candlelite dinners might be romantic, but they're also canned...
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 26
What do you think is romantic?
Posted: 8/20/2011 5:08:33 PM
MagikMan59- I think what you did was romantic.
People are different and have different ideas what romantic is.
What you did was a big gesture, but personally speaking, it doesn't have to be something that big (although it would b nice).
For me, the most romantic thing a man can do is listen to me, care about my feelings, my hopes and dreams.
Little things can mean a lot. Examples: I say who my favorite author is and I get one of their books. I say I love roses and I get roses. It doesn't have to be a gift either. I say I had a crappy day and I get a call that night to cheer me up. If I go out with someone and I tell them my favorite radio station and the next time we go out the radio is on that station because they remembered. Those kind of things can mean everything :)
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