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 AUTHOR
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 22
Am I a Serial Dater??Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
My guess is that 1. you haven't found the right person.
2. you are sabotaging your relationships, because you are scared to get involved to the point, where you will actually have to deal with some pain if it doesn't work.
3. You are like a kid in a candy store and need to see the reality of the candy stores advantages and disadvantages.


There have been a few incidents in my life where I felt distrustful of the other person.
So I have started distancing myself, in retrospective I found that I was doing the exact opposite of what I really needed to do. One of these incidents cost me dearly, and so I have learned the hard way to ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED!

When this happens:

Try to imagine yourself telling the person, that you no longer are feeling it, and you want to be let out, if you can not go through with that, than you absolutely know that the problem is not with the other person and that you have your own stuff to work on.
At this point you do nothing, relationships survive on a zigzag curve, and sometimes people can look for distractions as to why they are not feeling good, it doesn't have to be the other person at all.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 23
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 8/21/2011 10:33:46 AM
Clearly you are, but that's besides the point. You should at least be honest in your profile and say that you are looking for short-term dating with no commitments and that you will happily jump ship as soon as something better, newer and that you haven't seen naked yet comes along. At 59, this will never change. Good luck.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 25
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 8/21/2011 7:23:41 PM
I don't get why people say he has major problems since he has not had a relationship that lasts more than 4 years. I would concerned about dating someone if he had several relationships that lasted more than 4 years. Seems to me that he would be able to tell if someone was going to be someone he would be involved with seriously after a few months, and not date them for years until the relationships ended. Maybe I am alone in my thinking, sure seem to be different in many ways than most I have met on POF.
 Dappersmooch
Joined: 7/2/2010
Msg: 26
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/18/2012 1:38:43 PM
And you're here why?
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 27
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/18/2012 10:34:35 PM
dont sleep with a woman before you get to know her
(at least a little bit if you can control yourself)
how about, when you are dating someone fairly frequently...
you quit looking at profiles for a while so you can develope a relationship.
Unless you wish to remain alone as you grow older.
 4everRadiant
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 28
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:23:41 AM

Am I a Serial Dater??


It sounds like it.

kailania has some good advise ^^^^^^^
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 29
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 4:46:02 PM

Until you meet the one,
you meet several ones.

so I'd say you're about about normal.


Stray Cat keeps it simple. I agree with him.

It takes a little time to see if a relationship will work and if it isn't looking like it is gonna go long term one starts looking around, only natural.
 StageCat1
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 30
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:17:02 PM
It doesn't sound like you're "dating." It sounds like you keep getting into relationships that end because you think the grass is greener elsewhere.

Above all else, if you're not into someone anymore, have some respect, be honest, and let them go find happiness with someone else. Why no one ever seems to be enough for you, only you know.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 31
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:19:22 PM
I don't date my serial [sic], I pour milk over it and eat it.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 32
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:30:31 PM
is this a rectorial question? ... you're not a serial dater..you're just a .. well you know..the most generic name women verbally label men with .. rectum .. damn near killed em..
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 33
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:31:57 PM
It takes two months to realise you are not with the right person?? I hope I don't meet confused people like him. at age 40 and above it should take at the most two dates to figure out if you want to continue dating , what a waste of life !!I am sorry!
 SweetHeartedLady
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 34
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:30:42 PM
You already felt from the start they were not right.. (and so why would they get right?). Wishful thinking. It is harder and harder as we age to find someone compatible I believe. I see it faster and get out after one or two or three dates. I do not waste my time..

Good Luck. I hope you find the right one for you.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 35
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:11:13 PM
I dated a serial dater & your not even in the same league or ballpark for that matter. A slow day was one guy but more times than not it was 2 or 3 different dudes. Long live Internet dating for those who use it as their social life. A game she called it & used a calandar to keep track.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 36
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:15:42 PM
It's you............................................................................................................
 Sweetheartedness
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 37
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:40:09 AM
I just learned a lot from HIGHFLYINGADORED! I appreciate the narcissist definition. Makes total sense! AND......serial daters are probably narcissists. So the problem with moving from fish to fish maybe a symptom of a much bigger problem....HUH.....INTERESTING (NOT sarcasm). OP, you like fantasy. When she no longer seems fantasy-like, you go on to the next one, until the fantasy is fractured.
 KToned53
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 38
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:29:53 PM
Yes, just keep dateing untill you meet the one. You will know, but nothing perfect. I thought i met the one 2 times. The second time she said I Sweep Her Off Her Feet. 23 days later she does a 180 and throw me under a bus. So you never know. Just keep trying
 TheOneThatGotAway63
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 39
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:33:30 PM
Yes you are a serial dater. Someone who cant be happy. I bet its you.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:59:27 PM
Dear Casanova,
Sorry, yes you are a serial dater. Nobody can help you, but you. Knock it off!
Jan
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 41
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:03:11 PM
I think there are a lot of people on here that will say they are not serial daters or that they want a relationship but they are actually looking for something that is not ever obtainable nor does it exist. We all think and feel the "online dating" thing is a really good idea. And on paper or better yet, in our minds, we think it is but then we get out into it and it isn't what we thought it was. And I think part of that is where the "fantasy land" ideas come in. Everyone is different and I think alot of people think because some things are different that it makes it a deal breaker and off they go looking for the pot of gold over or under the rainbow. Where as in actuality, we don't give people the chance to be themselves and the other person never gets to be themself either. Things take time and along the ride of time, TALKING and discussing things if two people are open probably would lower the odds of the serial dater on here. Just a thought.
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 42
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:29:26 PM
You have to be kidding.
 Trish...
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 43
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/5/2013 7:12:11 PM
I think that you either know or don't know if the person you are with is the "one". I always have the talk after about a month if we are exclusive. or just dating. If we aren't exclusive I move on as I know that person is always believeing the grass is greener on the other side .....
 spicy_KFC
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 44
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/6/2013 11:33:37 AM
Not sure that counts as SERIAL dating, but you do have some questions you need to ask yourself about your intention. In my case, I was with what I consider a serial dater, unfortunately I didn't know until it was too late. I was with this man for several months enjoying everything that a relationship of that length brought, including a sexual relationship. It wasn't until the day I told him I was pregnant, he informed me he dates as many as 7 different women a WEEK! He would text me after work that he was meeting a "FRIEND" after work and would meet me in an hour, or three hours, or "could we meet tomorrow, something came up". He is addicted to that MEET and then afterwords, goes on the hunt for the next woman to meet. Somehow I ended up being one of those he held on to for several months and integrated into his life (or at least some of it). So here I am, 2 months pregnant with his child and he wants nothing to do with us anymore. I have now gotten in the way of the "relationship" he had with me and the "FUN" he had with everyone else.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:24:46 PM
Casanova
1. A man who is amorously and gallantly attentive to women.
2. A promiscuous man; a philanderer.

Philander
(of a man) to make love with a woman one cannot or will not marry; carry on flirtations.

He's not a serial dater, he's a Casanova, lol
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 46
Am I a Serial Dater??
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:37:56 PM
Well, that depends an what your compatibility issues are. Are they deal-breakers or quirks? If its always the same issues the common denominator is you. The "longest relationship was 4 yrs" bit is sketchy. That looks like commitment and intimacy issues on your part....Mucho trabajo for any woman.

O and the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence, unless your neighbours are growing pot over there.
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