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 kevinlovett1976
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 115
Multiple MarriagesPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
As long as they were given legitemate reasons to walk, i really dont care if they've been married 465.4 times before the age of 30. Truth is, sometimes it just doesnt work out. You marry someone thats on the level even.....people still change. It's just unfortunate that not everybody's always on the same page but thats just how it is.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 116
Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/2/2011 10:31:55 PM
Bobby135, awesome beautiful catch!!! I'm going fishing this weekend and seeing those fish has me excited.

Everyone's situations are different for why they have been married and divorced whether multiple times or once. Until you know them judging isn't right. The same with having children out of wedlock - many different circumstances.

I've been married twice. 1976 to 1984 and he turned to drugs and got violent and I divorced him. I stayed single raising my kids alone while going back to college. I rarely dated and then went into a long term relationship from 1990 - 1995 and in the end his manipulative selfish ways were too much for me. I left.

I married for the second time in 1996 thinking it would be safe and a good family life. He went to church, had custody of his kids, we did family stuff - boating, camping, etc but then his ex kept coming back into the picture and after years of that along with other issues; separated from him in 2009 then filed in 2010. I am legally divorced - it's final. We still own a home together until the economy picks up. No fighting. No stress.

Lately the men I've dated or talked to have been very pushy, clingy, and want to jump into long term or want a booty call. Am I discouraged? No. I am part of meetup so maybe "the one" will show up at one of the events.

Will I marry again? I may change later but right now I am happy single. And I spend more time in the forums then searching for a match. These things are addicting.



 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 117
Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:02:42 AM
yep....might date them but as for getting married to-em....nope....somethings wrong!
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 118
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Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:22:44 AM

Whenever I give my opinion on any topic, I am considering typical relationships in North America (particularly USA), or average people in N America (particularly USA). So I am referring to Abrahamic religions in general, Christianity in particular, and Protestantism specifically, since that is the dominant (Protestantism) religion in the USA.

Of those, only Catholicism expects people to marry for life. Catholicism isn't most people's religion in the USA, though there are a lot of Catholics here. Judaism--no problem for divorce. Islam--no problem, ultimately. Protestantism--no problem, and probably has the highest divorce rates.
I will agree that there may be a high divorce rate among protestants. But, I can assure you that "until death do us apart" is an essential part of traditional protestant wedding vows.
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 119
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Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:30:24 AM
It's interesting that many of the people, who've had multiple marriages, try to justify their numerous marriages by blaming their past partners for the divorces.
"He turned to drugs"
"She was a psycho"
"He was having an affair with his coworker"
"She cheated"
"He had issues"
etc
etc

At what point should someone admit, and take responsibility for, their own poor judgement?
 1in1000000000
Joined: 10/17/2010
Msg: 120
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Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:10:53 PM

But, I can assure you that "until death do us apart" is an essential part of traditional protestant wedding vows.


I don't doubt it, but regardless of what the vows, or the partners say, the Protestant Church does not forbid or take any stance against divorce. In fact, I think it if were up to ministers instead of judges, to issue divorce decrees, it wouldn't make a big difference. I doubt the rates would go down to any appreciable level. People are going to throw that "'til death do us part" vow straight out the window once they begin feeling like that spouse is no longer their spouse in their hearts or spiritually speaking. I personally see no good reason why a couple should stay together forever if they either can no longer stand one another, or one can't stand the other, or it has become evident that the union has otherwise become pointless or shouldn't have been to begin with.

In response to your other post, regarding poor judgment, what's the difference between poor judgment in marrying, and poor judgment in being with mates you don't marry? To me, this whole criticism of multiple spouses is very much like the criticism of multiple fathers/mothers of someone's children. Single parents who have children with multiple fathers/mothers get criticized, why? Only because there is evidence (children) of presumably poor judgment. Also, because they aren't married. People who are childless (or maybe have only one child) don't get criticized, even though they may have had five or ten children aborted. Why? No evidence of their presumably poor judgment. The evidence in this present case is multiple divorces. Those who didn't marry multiple mates (though they may have had multiple relationships), have no evidence there to convict them. People are way too hung up on "marriage" (mere secular legalities) in this society.
 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 121
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Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:46:50 PM
If you check out the threads where the subject of marriage is brought up, you will find a large percentage of posters talking about how there is not an appreciable difference between living common-law or being married these days.
When a common-law relationship breaks up, it can get just as dirty and litigious. There is property to be settled, child maintenance, heart break, etc. All the same fun stuff that a divorcing couple goes through.

Marriages break up for the same reasons that common-law relationships break up.
For some reason some folks try to make it seem a weaker solution if it was a marriage that broke. For example: If my common-law husband of 7 years made a baby with someone else....and the relationship ended because of this...then I guess it's alright. BUT...if you were married in this situation, then shame on you for not staying in the marriage, something wrong with your judgment if you leave(who knew 7 years ealier that your spouse would do this?).

Going back to my initial paragraph, I am wondering: For all those posters who claim that marriage is "Just a Piece of Paper". Why isn't divorce also "Just a piece of Paper"?
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 122
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Multiple Marriages
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:13:50 PM

In response to your other post, regarding poor judgment, what's the difference between poor judgment in marrying, and poor judgment in being with mates you don't marry?
Not much.

I did state, in an earlier post in this thread:
I'd actually consider someone who's had numerous common law relationships to be about the same as someone who's had numerous brief marriages.
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