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 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 76
Dating Out of Your LeaguePage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
^^^So true sddude. The thing with women is they care more about how other women perceive them than they do about their own happiness. They would rather be seen with a mean millionaire that beats them than a regular guy with a regular job that treats them great. Status is more important to them.



Great post Steve, I agree. Pretty much hit it home here. You know better than most9as you live in SoCal) just how much women need their friends approval of any man they date. You're dating her and all her friends basically. Most of the time, these types of women don;t have the balls to step up to their friends and say 'I'm going to date so and so, regardless of your opinion"......why don;t they do that? because as you said, they desperately seek their approval, as some sort of "cool stamp" or something. These are the women that usually get dumped on by the "hot/gorgeous/badboy" their friends so willingly approved them dating.

And of course, SDDude hit it home
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 77
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/22/2012 11:10:55 PM

I dislike the idea that anyone is considered to be dating out of their league.


you may DISLIKE it, but it is REAL and ALIVE... just like division of classes even exist in the cemetery, from the simple wood cross to the large mausoleums! Birds or a feather "fock" together (intentional typo)

The Disney story of Aladdin, is nice to believe as "dating out of your league" but is not the RULE, but simply an EXCEPTION- little girls (as much as grown up girls) love those stories! They still happen, but in general, water seeks it's own level! And most people have to date IN their OWN LEAGUE, unless they have something unusual to offer! For women in general, if she is poor, exceptional beauty, could bring her up into the upper echelon of the high class! (Lady Di, Hot women dating sports players, musicians) It's interesting that a lot of actors have a tendency to seek their own level, by dating other actors! By the nature of their work, so by meeting on the set of a love scene! etc....

On the other hand, a poor man, only has a shot at the "upper league" if he is "CONFIDENT", Alpha male, and sometimes good looks will also help him. Other than that, you are stuck to date into your own league!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 78
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/23/2012 11:24:29 AM

you may DISLIKE it, but it is REAL and ALIVE... just like division of classes even exist in the cemetery, from the simple wood cross to the large mausoleums! Birds or a feather "fock" together (intentional typo)

I totally agree. I think a lot of people like to live out a defense mechanism. Because the reality of leagues -- which is a basic basic Fact -- means people are less worthy than others. They don't want any objective, general position where they may fall. Oh no -- it has to be 100% subjective! Therefore, my ego isn't tarnished! :)

There's a difference between a type & a league. Some people could be within someone's league, or out of it, but either way, one's not the other's "type" so it's not going to work out. However, if Bobby is out of Sally's league (looks & status level) but he's also not Her typical "type" (but she is his type) -- that's going to matter a lot less to her. He's a hunky guy that seems to have things going for him, a guy she usually doesn't have opportunities with. However, getting to the point of a solidified, established relationship, that "type" thing will matter, if it's not just a taste thing but a matchability thing.

Just because someone's in your league, doesn't mean you'll get interest. It's just a basic foundation of where you lie in terms of attraction (without having to get to know them) by the masses. That isn't everything. Certain particulars (like 'type') and subjectivity alters it for each person .... which is why it'd be silly to "rank" people on some super-detailed scale. But that's not what leagues are. It's on a very big, generic scale.

A 4'10" guy with a lump on his back and a missing ear who has nothing more than a minimum wage job, is significantly less of a catch in the eyes of people in general, when compared to most guys. Yes, he is less of a catch -- a person -- in the dating market. People don't like to hear that. And they certainly don't want to subject themselves to fall under less than attractive by most, or not attractive as some people -- they want to pretend it's purely subjective and that judgement of beauty & status is purely 100% random.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 79
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/23/2012 4:07:45 PM
Guess I don't really think much about 'leagues' ; ) Just go for who I am attracted to, and hey it's gotta be mutual for anything to happen anyway. Gotta be more than an attraction for something lasting anyway. At the end of the day there is always going to be someone more attractive than ourselves, try not to overthink it too much. Never gave a sh** what my friends thought of someone, I could care less. Gotta have supportive friends no matter what.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 80
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 8:45:14 AM
Southern California women think they r outta everyones league......thats why there alone at 50 wondering wth happened? Chances r they have Screwed ova everyman they eva met in their life,women start aging twice as fast as men do at 50,then it becomes time for them to sit home with grankids an a cat an dog an the hair colorbottle ,, eeeuw wats that all about grannie hahah? It becomes aparent its pay back time Ohboy.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 81
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 1:09:41 PM
If they're alone at 50, they don't have grandchildren. They have their cat, their other cat, and all their cats' friends to keep them company. I wonder if the OC has enough cats to go around!
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 82
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 2:21:57 PM
Well Rabbitman...they've got a lot of cougars...lol
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 83
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 2:59:34 PM
Rabbitman - I guess you haven't met too many 38 year-old abuelas. Plenty of those here in town:)
 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 84
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 3:01:28 PM
Southern California women think they r outta everyones league......thats why there alone at 50 wondering wth happened?


LOL, and with ALOT of baggage too, agreed. Most women have the "entitled princess" mindset,thus, thats why they continue getting sh1t on by "bad boys/men".


Chances r they have Screwed ova everyman they eva met in their life

They're also(usually) the women who've been vindictive & taken a man for vaginamony, CS, and every other kind of support they can get their grubby hands on from a man. They can(and usually DO) deny this all they want, but it's the truth. They sit in their expensive homes, drive their expensive cars, dictate what kind of man they do/don't want to date, have unrealistic expectations from men, etc. etc.


women start aging twice as fast as men do at 50,then it becomes time for them to sit home with grankids an a cat an dog an the hair colorbottle


And get plastic surgeried to death, they look ridiculous, and don't seem to mind it. I refer to these ladies as "alligators", have had more cuts in their face than a Benihana's, tanned to a disgusting color of orange, huge botoxed lips, skinny as a rail(because they don't eat), then sit around with their stupid, vapid, narcississtic friends, complaining about how they can't find men, and why so many men don't find them attractive, or want to deal with their sh!t.

 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 85
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 3:03:07 PM

Rabbitman - I guess you haven't met too many 38 year-old abuelas. Plenty of those here in town:)



What is that?
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 86
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 3:15:45 PM
As posted by mamasboy 069:

"Southern California women think they r outta everyones league......thats why there alone at 50 wondering wth happened? Chances r they have Screwed ova everyman they eva met in their life,women start aging twice as fast as men do at 50,then it becomes time for them to sit home with grankids an a cat an dog an the hair colorbottle"

I'm alone in my 50's because I choose to be alone. And as far as your remark about women aging twice as fast as men do ...well you need to take a good in the mirror. Not all women age as you so think you know they do.

Additionally, according to your profile, your longest relationship is less than a year. No surprises there.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 87
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:00:52 PM
^^ A rebuttal to aging but nothing to refute the snobbery or the gold digging..

It is true that not all women age at the same rate... It is also true that all in CA are not stuck up. Yes.. not all of them out to gold dig and screw men over.

I am very tempted to say that most of that applies to most women around LA. Because I have to work at it to find exceptions just as LA women have to put in some effort to find a guy that is not a self absorbed douche bag.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 88
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/25/2012 7:54:36 PM
JJ - "Abuela" means grandmother in Spanish.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 89
view profile
History
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/26/2012 11:11:35 AM
There are a lot of short sided people in the dating arena. I don't think the know what their league actually is and their short sidedness actually leaves them alone unnecessarily. A simple meet or a exchange of a few emails might actually lead to something meaningful but for some reasons people won't do it. They say they never meet anyone yet they don't answer emails (or if they do they are as boring as hell,) don't send emails or go anywhere to meet people. Then they goes as far as saying the ones they "do" meet are just not their type. Problem is they don't know their type or have a terrible filter mechanism that allows the awful to filter thru while the goods ones never get a response. If you find the folks you are meeting are not the right ones, you need to make some changes in your thought process in 2013 to get more good less bad.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 90
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:14:35 PM
Do people really have such mierable time out there. After a while it seems that most threads start and end bashing and ripping the other sex apart into little pieces. If its so bad why do you still try and work at it????
Is the point to come here is just to inflate your own ego, Which applys to men as well as the women. Then after telling over and over how good you are and how lucky the other sex would be to meet someone like you. Then stand up and say you are not willing to date anyone.. Is that to make anyone feel bad that they are not lucky to meet you..
Are people out there really that bad ???? I understand that there are some basics complaints out there which at the top would be sex and money. Which should be easy date people who are closer to your way of thinking then not.
There is no one that says a guy has to pay for everything. If she demands that its a guys job to pay and you don't feel like it then move on. Don't waste your money.
For women if a guy wants sex and NSA and you don't want it then say no and leave. Find a guy who wants what you want. Yes for both sides of the war of the sexes it means lots of work.
But the funny thing is that its not bad at all to be single.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 91
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:44:22 PM
RE: #105 -
I guess you haven't met too many 38 year-old abuelas.
I don't date illegal scum. The one "hispanic" I have dated in the past was (European) Spanish-proper, not mexican* or other native, and the other "latin" women were Italian, etc....

* - It doesn't deserve to be capitalized unless we can execute capital punishment on its invaders here in the U.S.

RE: #108 - But being divorced with (adult) children means that you weren't always alone.... Not everyone has been so lucky.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 92
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/26/2012 3:00:18 PM
^^^^^^
You might be surprised , some of that "scum" will fool you. 2 years ago I was seeing a Mexican lady who was an HR manager of a large company, last year I met a Mexican lady who is the 7th generation of Californians in her family, now I'm dating a South American lady. She's been in L.A. for about 12 years.
I don't ask for documentation, if a woman says she is OK with her status, then I'm cool too.
Nobody has wanted to marry me lately, so it's not an issue. It may become that we try to marry one of THEM in the near-future, to escape the slide into oblivion that our lawmakers are insisting on. Who knows?
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 93
view profile
History
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/26/2012 4:00:51 PM
No wonder your rabbit died, where do you come off pulling out the "illegal scum card?" The USA is blessed to have a wide variety of nationalities, and I might add mostly legal residents to the country. With the attitudes of some in here it no small wonder their miserable and can't find anyone. Our nations biggest problems stem from our legal politicians.

Abuela means Grandmother, not illegal scum.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 94
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/27/2012 12:01:24 PM
What part of "illegal" don't you all understand. These people are criminals. I stand by my statement.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/27/2012 3:51:16 PM
I understand every part of illegal. You and people with attitudes like yours make a mockery of Conservatives and Republicans. You saw "Spanish Grandmother" and your shallow views come to the surface. Being Spanish does not make you illegal in so much as liking rabbits makes you a zoophile. You make a bad name for conservatives and should be shipped away because with attitudes like yours the conservatives will always be behind the 8 ball. Liberals are the only ones that can get away making racist comments and you sir are no Harry Reid.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 96
view profile
History
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/28/2012 7:33:13 AM
Wow, some harsh words being thrown around.

Talk about dating out of your league, I have an anecdote . Five years I was dating a white woman, over 45, whom I had known for some twenty years. We had been friends in Jnr Collge though we had not dated, and we re-met at a local gym. After a few dates, her attitude started becoming noticeable until she broke up with me through E-mail. I was flabbergasted, since I had known her for a long time and considered her a friend. Clearly, she thought that I was not in her league. Fine, I moved on.
A month ago, I ran accross her again (did not recognize her at first) and she was overly friendly. In the meantime, her looks had faded. Without going into detail, she looked now like what she was, a woman in her fifties, with the appropriate facial wrinkles, and other noticeable factors that had finally come to play. She reminded me of the old joke "Why are blondes like cow pies? Because the older they get, the easier they are to pick up." Needless to say, I was not interested in any further action with her and she noted my cool reaction to seeing her. As she promptly left, I reflected, what goes around, comes around. Not only did I not consider her a friend, just seeing her reminded me of all the pain she had brought into my life those years ago. I hope I don't run into her for another five years.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 97
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/28/2012 12:21:33 PM
I guess the rest of you haven't figured out what was meant by a 38 year old grandmother? On average, it means having two consecutive generations where the average age at birth is 19 (and a 0 year old as the grandchild). Do the math - consecutive generations of teenage motherhood. You all wonder about my harsh reaction when it comes to an ethnicity which uses its women only as breeders. Additionally, this seems more prevalent with the illegal invaders than those who immigrated here legally. Wake up people! The legal hispanics and those naturalized usually wait until their 20's.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/28/2012 7:04:23 PM
hahahaha,

KAK,

I have had the same experience but since I am very social and know alot of women, female friends that did that ignored me for being me , out of their league, well after they are at the time of thier life , overweight and divorced with kids, they saw me as a golden prize finally, I too ignored them . About a dozen or so are still looking, having money problems and asking me for help , i do help them but that is all.

Same with guys who knew that pimply fat girl in high school and in college, he ignored her used her for sex, now that fat pimply girl is a fit beautiful professional and those guys have fallen back, overweight bald and with a crappy job or no job now they want to date them... no chance, Why do I know? I am friends on both sides, like sitting back eating popcorn to see the drama.

It goes both ways.


RAbbit man you kind of scare me like some of my coworkers (in the military) that would say if it was legal to kill illegals they would, your harshness does not say that but seems to lean toward that .

My family are hispanics, I even had an uncle that was on a cover of a magazine for being a war hero in WWII and in the Korean war. My family has been here documented since 1805 in California. My dad has been discriminated even though he fought in 3 wars as did my uncle who just retired as a colonel after his tour in Afghanistan. A couple of sisters are in the airforce.

My dad was too dark too drive in the south, in the 60's he was not allowed to go to some gas stations and enter some restaurants because he is hispanic while my mom is actually from Mexico, legally here, married him at 18 and had 8 of us kids, she had no problem because of discrimination because she is a white blond mexican with honey colored eyes.

You kind of sound racist, I do not accept illegals either but I am not racist and badmouth other ethnicities, I may badmouth some scary beliefs other people have or their negative attitudes of other peoples.

By the way I train the military and more. In the military "caucasian" guys from the south have more tolerance than you for other people because they meet more and work with them, heck they even ask me to find them mexican girlfriends with traditional family values and I do, these are not submissive women, some are professionals , engineers lawyers accountants and some with just HS education, I do not see them as putting out children like rabbits, and they are from Mexico . I found them a couple of country girls from the midwest too, they just wanna find someone with values without that discrimination crap.

By the way I am a conservative even politically, patriotically, religiously and in values, not because I am hispanic I am a liberal and a rabbit that will pump out children once a year......

I guess I am off subject hahaha
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 99
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/29/2012 12:01:38 AM
If we're talking leagues, then it should be football, because with all these hard hits and low blows, it's the only league that seems to be appropriate given the turn of this thread.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 100
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/29/2012 2:15:12 PM
Re: #122 - Your ancestors (apparently) came here legally. That's quite different than swimming the Rio Grande or hopping over (or through) the fence. Check with the Arizona Ranchers who live within 10 miles of the border and they will tell you about the NIGHTLY invasions: Some are drug dealers and some are "coyotes" bringing in illegals. Are you telling me that these people have no right to protect their lives and property against invasion?

This probably deserves a thread of its own. I'll let someone else start it if anyone wants to continue talking about this topic.

There is also the matter of those who assimilated vs. those who refuse to. The illegals don't assimilate into American Culture. The former Alta Californians have assimilated, as do immigrants from other parts of the world. I do have a problem with immigrants (usually the illegal type) who try to bring America down to the quality of living of the Third World countries they left, as opposed to those legal ones who add to American Society. Immigration is supposed to be a tool used to improve one's country.
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