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Show ALL Forums  > California  > Dating Out of Your League      Home login  
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 100
Dating Out of Your LeaguePage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Re: #122 - Your ancestors (apparently) came here legally. That's quite different than swimming the Rio Grande or hopping over (or through) the fence. Check with the Arizona Ranchers who live within 10 miles of the border and they will tell you about the NIGHTLY invasions: Some are drug dealers and some are "coyotes" bringing in illegals. Are you telling me that these people have no right to protect their lives and property against invasion?

This probably deserves a thread of its own. I'll let someone else start it if anyone wants to continue talking about this topic.

There is also the matter of those who assimilated vs. those who refuse to. The illegals don't assimilate into American Culture. The former Alta Californians have assimilated, as do immigrants from other parts of the world. I do have a problem with immigrants (usually the illegal type) who try to bring America down to the quality of living of the Third World countries they left, as opposed to those legal ones who add to American Society. Immigration is supposed to be a tool used to improve one's country.
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 101
view profile
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 12/30/2012 3:57:34 PM
Southern California women think they r outta everyones league......thats why there alone at 50 wondering wth happened? Chances r they have Screwed ova everyman they eva met in their life,women start aging twice as fast as men do at 50,then it becomes time for them to sit home with grankids an a cat an dog an the hair colorbottle ,, eeeuw wats that all about grannie hahah? It becomes aparent its pay back time Ohboy.

Yet you (single 53 year old) live in Southern California and are here looking for a woman.

In terms of league? As many women and men already stated before me, I don’t believe in classification and ranking people as beneath or above me. And I choose to be single, unless I meet my match, just like anyone else here.

You sound like a bitter, cranky, old man, mamasboy.
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 102
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:40:37 PM
Yep , I feel like I have to respond back just to be polite.Even if there is no interest.Most of the men that email I wouldnt even consider to date.Because If the attraction isnt there and I wouldnt kiss or hold your hand then I wouldnt waste your time or have you spend your money on me. Out of my league could mean your also way to handsome.More like a beautiful man, is not made for me.There is that touch of handsome and cute that suites me.Education and money well there is a ballance in that also.I am not looking for a man with money but a man that knows how to manage his money and make morw of it.You dont have to have a degree for that.Knowledge is power and exsperence pays off...
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 103
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/2/2013 10:20:21 AM
post 113 Rabbitman49

unless we can execute capital punishment on its invaders here in the U.S.

wow.. that is pretty harsh... just like the original settler of this country, HAVE NOT invaded this country? and took it away from the indians? and taken California away from Mexico?? it's not because certain wars and defeats are 200-300 years in the past, that it makes Today's americans "morally" legal to be here, simply because their prior generations kicked the mainlanders azz! Capital punishement on the invaders, would possibly mean that your prior generation would have been "killed off", as most of our ancestors "were invaders" and took land away from indians, and mexicans. This is why INDIANS have special RIGHTS, and exclusions from US laws and taxes on their reservations, and all sorts of BENEFITS given by our government in RETRIBUTION for having TAKEN/INVADED their land.

Plenty of "mexicans" (or messicans, like Carlos Mancia would say) are here legally, but I am sure that you automatically hate them all, simply by the color of their skins... and put them in the same boat as being "illegals". Besides, it's not only messicans, it's all the illegal "south american, central american... and also PLENTY of europeans, candians, are here illegally!!! So no point in singling out the "illegals Messicans". Illegals are here to stay, it's not a new problem... I chose to focus on my life, and my surroundings..... and the world goes around pretty well.... I eat, I work, I feed my kids, they go to school, I meet people (of all races -without discrimination) and I have a pretty good life... given the poor economic out there. It's all about perception!

"What you resist persist",...... You can choose to harbor a grudge about illegals, (but we all benefit from their cheap labor) and I am sure you would be the 1st one to scream, if our "cheap" goods would double or triple in prices, if contractors, farmers, clothing industry, would have to hire a $35/hr unionized worker, instead of $8/hr illegal. Beside, you would not even apply for that job yourself, and so would not most of americans, because they can make more on welfare or on unemployment insurance... because OUR legal AMERICANS are also SPONGING off the welfare system.....without working... so why WORK.... when illegals will do the DIRTY WORK for the lazy americans??? It's the same stuff in canada, where I come from.

if you let it go, ....then the authorities, are working on it... I choose to accept that there is an illegal work force out there, that benefit all of us (right or wrong), just like there's illegal drugs in our world, organized crime, illegal sex trade, prostitution... etc.... it always existed... You can harbor a grudge for the rest of your life, or you can focus on your immediate environment... family, friends that "ARE NOT" illegals, NO drug dealers etc.... and stop agonizing about others... and have a good life!

That's my moto!

wow how is this related to "dating out of your league"---- maybe it should be re-titled- dating out of your race! .. or better yet... dating illegals! lol

Joined: 12/4/2012
Msg: 104
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:17:14 PM
I'm batting .450 in triple A, think its time to move up to the majors !
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:10:32 AM
Yes, we have gotten far from the "dating out of our league" initail thread. The thread has been hijacked by certain whiners who constantly complain about the current state of affairs. Wake up, unless you can mobilize a majority of the populace to hew to your beliefs, you are S..t out of luck.

I accept that there are illegal immigrants all around me in California. And you know what, I don't give a damn. I'm not competing for the jobs an illegal immigrant will take. That's why I went to college and earned several degrees.
In the town I live in, on the beautiful Central Coast of California, there is a huge Latino majority. The main job market around here is agriculture, with some high tech relating to Vandenberg AFB. Therefore, there are plenty of illegals field hand workers who work like dogs. The illegal immigrant is the n----- of California, who works the shit jobs no one wants to do.
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 106
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Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:44:07 PM
Interesting topic. I have to agree with alot of the other men's comments here. I also have to agree that though there is some general belief that women are more flexible with a man's education, material wealth and status when dating, all you have to do is read 1/2 of the profiles from women on POF as to what they are looking for to refute that idea. "Prince Charming" indeed! Now I will say that through casual observation, I find that women are more flexible as they get older or they're status appears less attractive then other women. But, if they're an attractive woman or young (and I've seen women as old as 31 in this category on POF), I noticed they want a man younger than 40, have money and expect him to be the very archtype of chivalry. Yet, you read their profile and sometimes they don't write enough (or anything besides a picture) or say enough to show they have some high expectations. As a man, I do look at these things. For example, I workout pretty regularly. That's 2-3 times a week if my schedule allows. If for whatever reason I don't make it to the gym I still am involved in physical activities that push the body. I'm exercising and I like my women to do the same. Yet, I've seen women saying they are in the gym 5-7 times a week and are looking for a man that does the same. There is nothing wrong with that, but now I consider if this woman would give me the chance to see who I am as a person because I don't work out as much as she does every week. I wonder if she would be open to see if I fit all the other qualities she is looking for besides having a gym card. I understand and agree with wanting a partner who is fit, but If you are at the extreme and they're not, does she turn them away? This is just one example of "requirements" I've seen on POF. I'm not even getting into those women who don't have the same level of education or career expecting the man to have better. Just their looks and a gym membership(maybe) is supposedly all these women need.
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 107
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:37:41 PM
Are men delusional? I have no idea. I get approached by a lot of men and I wouldn't touch 99.9% of them. I guess most women feel that way. It probably works the other way round as well. I guess I have wondered - quite often - why they thought that we were compatible when I couldn't see a single thing we had in common.

No, I don't feel pressured to entertain guys who are far less attractive or far less educated. I don't respond to people who I wouldn't feel comfortable with.
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 108
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 2/2/2013 5:20:13 AM
I don't date in a league, I go where I can fit in. I do believe I can hold my own with any woman but if she ain't choosing me why bother beating on a dead horse? Life is easier when you can push on the doors that open for you rather than trying to unlock them. She might not be the hottest woman you'll ever know but she'll help you boost your game a bit. Date enough of them and soon those "Hotter" girls will notice you because your ignoring them.
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 109
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 2/2/2013 6:18:23 AM
^^^^^i always hated Ridin a Dead Horse hahaha

ur only as good as ur worst employee.
hows that hope an change workinout 4 u?
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 110
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 2/9/2013 3:34:18 AM

Put it to you this way. I thought I had met Mrs Right but she ended up friends zoning me. I'm thinking ****! this sucks! It's even worse that her profile is still on here. SO I used that as motivation to create a kick ass profile and sure enough I've figured out my market and now I've got plenty of women choosing me here and not the other way around. Id say the game has turned around for the better for me. Not for worse.
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 111
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 2/9/2013 7:37:46 AM
Not sure by dating out of my league?? The first thing I do on POF is search new users. The profile you see includes a picture of the person, can't help that!! Guess POF thinks it is important. From there, I look at where she live. It is very difficult to meet and have a lasting relationship if it involves a lot of traveling. Then, I look to see a woman's education, profession, age and if they are a nonsmoker only. I have heard men are visually stimulated by pretty things, I know I am!! So, yes pretty women get noticed first.LOL!!

To answer your message, since I am here looking for a long term commitment, the best looking women are not my goal, but they are pretty to look at!! So, I gravitate more towards a woman who is a professional, stable person with a good job, like myself. As an average Joe myself, I rely on a great sense of humor, intelligence, and drug free lifestyle to attract women. How's that worked out so far?? Not so good on POF!! As we say in Mississippi, guess I need to switch bait!!

Hope this sheds a little light on your post, Deano the Sunfish...GO FISH!!
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 112
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Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 2/9/2013 8:26:38 AM
It's funny. I took a 21 year break from dating, and had no idea where I stood with single men my age. I am down to earth so I never sent emails to men in suits. I am not a dress up person and figured that was a smart thing to do. I met a guy that on his profile was jeans and a nice button up shirt. Turns out he was a Dr. If I had known he as a physician I would never have emailed him and would have missed out on a really great guy.

I guess what I am saying is, don't sell yourself short, and go with your gut instincts. People with agendas do get found out eventially, so why not skip that part and just be you, and let them be them and see what happens. Seems too easy sometimes :)
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 113
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/2/2013 12:07:09 AM
I didn't read the whole thread, but I did remember reading one by a poster saying any woman who is over the age of 30 , if she isn't dating 50-60 year olds, should be happy to date any man who has a semi coherent knowledge of English, a decent job, etc. Wow, I've heard about women being jaded toward men, but I guess this is one example where the man is jaded. So, poster Bael, us 30 something women and women beyond the r 30 something range should just shoot ourselves now if we're not willing to date the much older men? :P
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 114
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/2/2013 5:18:02 AM
If I have to jump 20 years to find a mate, I'll go ahead and pass. Relationships take work, and there's no point in being with someone you're not attracted to.

I've always picked men that I found attractive. From an outside perspective, I guess we were equal overall. It's tricky since everyone doesn't value the same things. A guy may make more than me which would give him more "points" than me...but I'm smarter than him...whose to say he even values that? If it just has to do with looks, I'd say we were pretty much equal.

I think every girl has been approached by a man they found comes with the territory. Society asks men to approach women, so chances are high they'll be rejected by the majority of them. I wouldn't say men are delusional, so much as playing a numbers game. Why restrict themselves when women are already restricting them? It's better to shoot high and fall than climb up.

Men are in a position to easily discover where they lie in the attractiveness spectrum. If all 10's say no to you, then you're probably not a 10. Women aren't so lucky since we have everything from a 1 - 10 asking us out. There's no telling if he sees you as "marriage/fling/throw a bag over her head" material when he's asking you out. So who knows? You just go for what you want and hope for the best.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 115
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/2/2013 10:50:20 AM

A guy may make more than me which would give him more "points" than me...but I'm smarter than him...whose to say he even values that?

You're taking the wrong angle on this. It doesn't matter what He sees it as, or You see it as. It has to deal with how the Market sees it. It's how high your Dating Market Value is, in the market (not by an individual you're eyeing).

When someone's out of your league, they "can do better" than you. Meaning, without too much effort, they can get someone who's of notably better looks & status than you. It's not determined by decimal points but the opposite -- ballpark ranges, hence 'league'.

It's not a judgement call on how good of a real partner they are. 'Leagues' are determined by pretty much the surface of things... something you could glean with observation for some minutes. Even though it's "shallow", it's what IS for the necessary requirements to 'have' the other. It'd be truly shallow if that's all there is to be in a Relationship, that's all.

If we're objective, we can tell if someone's out of our league... and after sitting down with them we can find out if there's exceptions, too -- like sharing a strong but uncommon interest or lifestyle that's shared... or the gal lost a lot of weight and her brain hasn't caught up realizing her real DMV yet... or you have a unique look and they gravitate toward that look that's hard to find, etc.

One should understand the basic difference of 'leagues' so they don't waste too much of their time, or be ill-prepared for someone who has a good chance of not being that interested in the next 24 hours and is looking for sex or attention (but hey if you're happy to take just that, go for it). Many people are "too picky" without knowledge that they don't "deserve" someone as good looking or as well-suited as the type their think they deserve. Being aware of this will help people improve themselves and ante up their DMV.
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 116
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/2/2013 7:45:47 PM
I'd be really curious to see how everyone on this thread would rate themselves on a scale of 1-10. Totally honest, no bull. Then look at members of the opposite sex and see what they've rated themselves.
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 117
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/2/2013 11:00:15 PM
I rate myself a 5 and Im pretty much a confident guy, determined and highly clasified as being myself and no one else.

I think when a woman simply say at her first approach, "We are not a match, best wishes", then I get the picture. Those words would right through any man's ears pretty effectively meaning "Sorry Im out of your league", go look for someone else. Now her kind gesture does not really stand out to be her "best wishes" after all, is it?
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 118
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/8/2013 3:57:07 PM
What is dating outside of one's "league"? What is a level? You guys are funny. I just have my requirements and whether those requirements are above or below my "league", I personally couldn't GAF. It is interesting how guys with money seem to message me to tell me they are financially generous. I guess I must seem like a money hungry b*tch. lol I did get a message from this young guy that told me that I talk like I'm a 10 but I'm only an 8 or something like that. I was like - oh thanks! lol I do not believe anyone has a number.
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 119
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/9/2013 11:05:55 AM
RE: ^ - You're from behind the Orange Curtin, so what did you expect? Us men all know that the OC is the golddigger capital of California. If you don't like the reputation of the place you live, move.
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 120
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/10/2013 3:11:54 AM
Not to pick a fight with you HappyEingleSpirit, but All women play the "not me, I'm not that way" card, and MANY are exactly the way that person said. Most of the women here in SoCal act as if their vaginas are the holy grail and/or superior to a man. A lot of these same women are usually alone on the weekends, and wonder why?

I always love it whenever a guy posts something that's mostly true, the women here get all sorts of butthurt and then the "you're just bitter/angry" responses seem to follow. Truth hurts I guess. Men are tired of being used by women.
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 121
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/10/2013 3:23:52 AM
Zunflower-which is why you'll be single for the majority of your life. The "entitled princess, my vagina is the holy grail" act is usually a good sign as to why people like you are single. Don't flatter yourself too much honey, no matter how drop dead gorgeous you think you are, men will get sick of you and your sh!t and of course, bangin you. Women with "holier then though" attitudes like yours are usually the ones who'll get continually dumped on and used. Whatever floats your boat. Its also obvious you're a "chivalry" woman, right? Expects a man to do ev rything, pay for everything, and all you have to do is sit there and be a lady, lol. Expect a man to do things for you, you yourself don't do for a man, as you think it's beneath you. No worries honey. Hope you enjoy sitting home alone a lot on the weekends, get used to it.
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 122
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:34:12 PM
^ well, if you guys stop worshiping the vajayjay, I'd stop thinking you were praying to it like a holy grail. lmao
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 123
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:13:21 AM
What is dating outside of one's "league"? What is a level? You guys are funny. I just have my requirements and whether those requirements are above or below my "league", I personally couldn't GAF.

Oh, I highly disagree. You do GAF. You may give less of a fvck than a girl next to you, but that doesn't mean you don't GAF.

A "league" is just a broad category of where they fall into in terms of dating-value attraction to the general public. Looks & status isn't 100% random at all.

For instance, you would be out of a guy's "league" if he was 5'0", 210lbs, dressed like sh!t, and had only something to be embarrassed about as far as his education & job was concerned making poverty-level at age 48. You're out of his league. In this case, it wouldn't take a majority of the random masses to say you could do better -- it would basically be 100% (besides the one voter who just wanted to be funny).

The concept of what league one's in gets hazy & weird when you measure it too finely. On a broad spectrum, it's common sense. What makes the dating-value attraction? Basically looks & status. Just because one doesn't care as much as many others about one or the other, doesn't mean they don't care about "leagues". If they didn't, then there's be just as much chance that they'd be ga-ga about an completely hideous looking person who lives in their parent's basement as they would with a sharp, awesome looking person with a great job.
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 124
Dating Out of Your League
Posted: 4/12/2013 7:19:37 AM
I was just thinking that the way an individual rates someone doesn't really exist. .someone's "8" or "10" can be another person's 5 or below. It all depends on a variety of factors, such as preferences for a person's education level, ethnicity, whether they are established in a career, etc.
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