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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Confused about "You're too old for me" responses from women      Home login  
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 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 26
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from womenPage 2 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
Oh dang! I actually quoted sites and I timed out and lost it all. It has dropped to 5.6 - 10 years on medical sites due to mainly obesity.

The government site includes suicide, homicide, giving birth etc, which does drop it farther.

The point is there are a lot of widows in his "age range".
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 27
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:06:55 PM
Any age number is realitive to the actual person. For example... I am actually 65 years old, as my profile states. I date women older and younger that myself, but just because a women is 10 years younger than the guy, don't assume he can't keep up. I know for myself, the women I have dated in their 50's I have left them in my dust, in all departments. I was blessed with good genes, and not Levi's either.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 28
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:28:15 PM

Is there some evil magic about the number "60" that scares some women away - even when they are only 2, 5 or 8 years younger?

I don't see anything "magical" about any number. Personally? I have a VERY small window of opportunity to the age that is appropriate for me. When I was dating, a year or two older and a year or two younger was the extent of that range. I have many reasons for feelings as I do and I no longer explain, but one's "age appropriate" number shouldn't offend anyone. I think I'd much rather be someone's "just right" than someone's "Oh, I'd prefer someone younger, but she'll do for now." But that's just how I view it.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 29
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:45:44 PM
You are to * fill in the blank here* for me.

I am not attracted to you.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Pick one.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 30
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:49:39 PM

I will agree with the baby faced part but my ex's mom ( who did not dye her hair ) had mostly brown hair until she was 75 and I have a picture of my grandfather at 75 who had more brown hair than grey ( and no hair dying for him either ). My ex who is 55 now still has very little grey hair. On the other hand I have a friend who was totally grey at 30.

Judging relative age by the amount and colour of your hair is not reliable ( too easy to fake ), skin, body tone and posture are a better indicator of being youthful or not.

I agree about the hair only - my husband had solid black hair nearly down to his waist when he died at 62, with maybe half a dozen white hairs mixed in. But he also wasn't ever a smooth skinned baby face with it. I also know quite a few who turned gray early, some as early as high school.

I went back and looked at the one who was so insistent that his photos were current, to see if they still looked too young. Yep, not a single wrinkle or even laugh line, though he's smiling very carefully. Those photos are either faking his age, or he's got one of the world's best plastic surgeons. Doesn't really matter, anyway. It just seems pathetic, no matter which.
 BACKAGAINTOTRYAGAIN
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 31
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:58:07 PM
i think that some one who 60 wanting a 25 old is fooling themselfs because unless you have alot of money they wont date their grandpa or grandma . what could you have in common . most 25 year olds are just being their lives and wanting to have a family ext. im 40 and i wont date a 50 or a 60 man . i like younger men and 10 and maybe 5 years older but older men and me dont fit well. thats the thing and im not into older men . and men who wont a few years older are not for me . so just my two cents.
 Hudsonview10960
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 32
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1:58:32 PM
Dating is a lot like cold calling in sales: you know going in that 9 out of 10 prospects are going to say no. Just the nature of the beast. I advocated in another thread the idea that dating is a numbers game. You are going to go through a lot of people who aren't interested, of the ones who are interested, you may not be interested in them. That is a lot of people to go through.

As I used to tell the saless guys who worked for me: be happy when they say no. You are one closer to the person who is going to say yes.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 33
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 2:22:00 PM

What makes you so certain the OP didn't contact older women? For all you know, he did contact them, but got no response.


I never said I knew or was certain of anything so I'm not sure what this is all about - I simply suggested that OP try contacting women who were older than him since the reason he started this thread is to ask WHY those particular women he contacted and who, in his own words "are only 2, 5 or 8 years younger", felt he was too old for them.

Besides the obvious double standard, this thread once again reminds me why sending any kind of replies when you are not interested is pointless because no matter what you do, someone will always whine.

And I can only imagine how the answers would be different if it had been a woman, say me (54) who had started a thread to ask WHY a 46 year old man had replied saying he felt I was too old for him. I'm pretty sure that words like cougar, delusional, old desperate fool would have found their way in there more than once. Hahaha. Whatever.

Ultimately, this is nothing more than another whiny why don't they reply...oh wait they did but I guess a straight up reply wasn't good enough for OP now he wants to know why younger women, because these WERE younger women, think he's too old for them.

And so once again I suggest that if OP is not happy with the responses he's getting with younger women AS PER the examples he gave in his opening post, then maybe he should contact older women. And if by chance OP has already contacted older women, something he didn't mention in his opening post, then it means that my suggestion to do so is redundant, same as this thread.

 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 34
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 2:30:01 PM

Dating is a lot like cold calling in sales

I agree; it's also like on-line shopping...
Chin up, OP. As christ said (our christ, not the Other One), you don't know why they said "no". Don't take it personally coz it will do your head in.
And I don't think you look older than 60. Don't fall for that crap. THAT will do your head in...
(BTW, my ex is off to Bali to celebrate at his friend's girlfriend's 40th birthday party. He's 72. And he's fat. But he's got the best personality!)
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 35
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 2:31:20 PM
Msg 35

I went back and looked at the one who was so insistent that his photos were current, to see if they still looked too young. Yep, not a single wrinkle or even laugh line, though he's smiling very carefully. Those photos are either faking his age, or he's got one of the world's best plastic surgeons.

You don't need the best surgeon. When it comes to doctoring, Dr. Photoshop is quicker and cheaper.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 36
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 2:43:13 PM
^^Big deal if he's got wrinkles. He's freaking 60. What are we supposed to look like? All of the posters here LOOK THEIR AGE. Scary, but true.
And if he hasn't got wrinkles? Maybe he's lived in really humid places all his life. I've heard that keeps the skin moist. Or maybe he's a botox fan. Who knows?
I'd date a 60-year-old (even though the number does make me quake in my boots). It's not the age, it's the person.
If a few women haven't responded, OP - well, it's their perogative. You can't assume why; it could be for a myriad of reasons which mightn't have anything to do with you. So stay positive - say to yourself "those weren't the right women" and keep going. Or give up on online and stick to real life.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 37
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 3:32:39 PM

Is there some evil magic about the number "60" that scares some women away - even when they are only 2, 5 or 8 years younger?


I've only read one,maybe two answers to this actual question. Quit going on tangents people, your really starting to bore the hell outta me with this age shiat.

Some look their age. Some don't. Some are attracted to some. Some aren't.

OP,,,I believe all you are getting is excuses/reasons for replies. Take it as it is. They don't want or don't see a need to go any further with their responses. It's not a big deal if you really think about a person that has to "make up" answers at those ages. Experince and wisdom comes with age???? My bumhole it does. (not directed at you OP,but, to those that want to reply to your emails as they did.)

We all could die tomorrow peeps, male or female, no matter what the stats say. Think about it.
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 38
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 3:44:22 PM
Walts - Let me be the first to apologize for failing to entertain you.
You do have lovely plants, though.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 39
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 3:56:36 PM
I too am inclined to say that "you are too old for me" is more of a convenient and basically inarguable " I don't think we are a match".
However, I also think that those who suggested the OP contact women who are older than he, brought up a good point. Of course, there has to be a sense that there could be some chemistry, the OP shouldn't be contacting women OVER his own age just because they are older-there needs to be some actual interest on his part.

The other thought that kinda drifted across my mind... although I've had little PERSONAL experience of this particular phenomenon, I read in these forums,time and again, people of both genders going to meet a person and discovering that they are notably OLDER than what is presented on their profile. I'm inclined to think that we all read the stated age and DON'T quite take it as gospel. Yes, I'm talking about MEN fibbing their age-and some of the commentaries I've read in the forums indicate that when a guy "shaves "years off his age-he tends to use a chainsaw, not a razor,LOL.
Just my thoughts on the subject.
Cindy O
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 40
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 4:12:14 PM
well i looked at your profile, the photos. you look your age to me and the pics are fine. don't get rid of the kilt photo, it is a good example of you and your interests.
i liked the poster who said it is just what those particular women were looking for, someone younger. don't sweat it, and realize that it takes all kinds, you will find the one that thinks you are perfect.

a side note that ocurred to me, and some thing i have wondered about before. is there a possibility you (or more men in general) would consider having a professional color your hair. maybe put some low lights into it to give less solid gray? i am almost completely gray, but would never go gray. not ready yet i guess. just a thought, i think solid white or silver/gray is very aging to the appearance.

lord, i will probably get a load of stuff from bringing this up. just know ahead of time i am not going to defend my opinion/query!

kaylee
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 41
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 4:36:49 PM

Walts - Let me be the first to apologize for failing to entertain you.


Sorry, I just hate reading,watching and hearing "re-runs". As in, "men die earlier", "you should dye your hair(so you "look" younger"),"you can't expect a person TWO years younger than you to find you attractive", "you can't keep up to me", "men won't look at anyone older than them,,,,especially those old farts","old guys are couch potatoes",etc,etc,etc,etc.

Like I said, "with age comes wisdom"??????? Again, my bumhole.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 42
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:02:00 PM
Msg 45

a side note that ocurred to me, and some thing i have wondered about before. is there a possibility you (or more men in general) would consider having a professional color your hair. maybe put some low lights into it to give less solid gray?

Kaylee, do you really think that would get him that first date? And would he have to continue to color his hair after?

In my professional opinion, instead of putting some lowlights into beautiful silver hair, it would be more appropriate to employ low-light photography technique, strategically highlight your best features and come up with a really sexy glamour portrait.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 43
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:05:42 PM
Kaylee do you really think that would get him that first date


According to those commercials for mens hair colouring the young women would suddenly be all over him

Most of us over 50 are just happy to have some hair and the OP seems to have a full head of hair ( we should all be so lucky ). If we all start dying our hair and putting in streaks etc whats next make up and jewelry... opps I forgot the under 30 crowd of men are already embracing that.

I heard an expression from a young lady that seems appropriate here she said " I won't date a man whose spends more time and money fussing over his appearance than I do"


.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 44
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:12:49 PM
no, my mention of hairlcolor was a side comment.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 45
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:13:19 PM
Most of us over 50 are just happy to have some hair and the OP seems to have a full head of hair


Oh yes...I recall hair.

Look OP...you are just going to run into this.
Lots of women out there looking for younger guys
and lots of guys out there looking for younger women.

God bless em, but I think they're delusional.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 46
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:32:53 PM

Kaylee, do you really think that would get him that first date? And would he have to continue to color his hair after?

I dunno about a first date, but I do know a man who got hired at least in part because he colored his hair. He was blond for the interview, but by the time he and his family arrived it had gone back to being mostly gray.

But I'll also say that having grown up on a ranch and being a former bullrider, he was in prime shape. Not only did he do a fine job running the IT department, he was also an experienced farrier who was frequently consulted by the local vets. Nor did it hurt that his wife - about 10 years younger - could still have passed for one of the major football league's cheerleaders.

He's about my age, and he still rides in cutting horse competitions.
 ShellLadySD
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 47
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:41:34 PM
There is no evil magic about any number as far as I have seen. I've dated several 60 yr+ men who are not too old for me OP, but I think you are. Age is not just a number, it's an attitude and where you are is not where I am. As a performer, you appear to be someone who might appear in a Lawrence Welk Show, which would just about kill me if I had to sit through it with anyone except my sweet 89 year old auntie.

I think Walts is right. What they're saying is just an excuse for not taking it further. I watched your videos and you're in a whole different musical place than I am. I'm laughing right now because I'm a publicist for a few death metal bands and while that is SO not my preference, I'm pretty sure that most women my age (57+) are not into Lawrence Welk either.

That's just me. I'm sure you'll find someone who digs it. It's not the age, it's the place...
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 6:53:40 PM
I'd love to meet a man who was 60, but wasn't grumpy, grouchy, stingy, and mean! Seems like something "happens" to men once they hit that magic number. Yet, I have no desire to date someone young enough to be my daughter's beau.
 EmeraldsandDiamonds
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 49
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Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 7:40:28 PM
I didn't look at your profile, but someone 60 would be too old for me. Sometimes men who are grandfathers contact me. I really don't want to go out with a grandpa! Then, some appear to "think old". I haven't found any luck with men in their 50s online (i.e., cheap, dirty, crude, bitter, sex-obsessed ...) and assume that men in their 60s are worse. I think that most older men are looking for a nurse with a purse. Or they are on viagra and proud of it. UGH, haven't had good experience with older men!

EDIT: I just took a look at your profile. It is good and non-grandpa. Why don't you take out the requirement about looking for a performing parter (or whatever it said in this regard?) You can find that somewhere else, you should just be looking for a compatible date at this point, I'd say... this requirement would definitely make me reject someone, since I don't have that and not looking for it. Just a thought! Love the kilt too.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 50
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:05:01 PM
Still a lot of assumptions on here and age bashing. "60 would be too old for me", it's just a number. Some 60 year olds are "younger" than 50 year olds and yes, some are old, act old. We don't know the OP so...an assumption. "go out with a grandpa" coming from someone more than old enough to be a grandma...again an assumption on age. "cheap, dirty, crude, bitter, sex obsessed.." again an assumption. I could go on and on about the assumptions. Dye your hair, grey is old, bald is ugly, too fat, too short, too old, too young. And us women get so pissed off when men say we are cheap, bitter, frigid, gold diggers and only after their wallets. It's a wonder any of us get a date. Maybe it's time we all leave our assumptions and preconceived ideas at the door and act like human beings. We're all getting older and even if you think you're hot at 50 or 54 there is always somone out there that thinks you're old, ugly and unworthy.
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