Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Confused about "You're too old for me" responses from women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 547
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from womenPage 23 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

Over the course of these many decades of chasing women, I have been told that I am too old, too fat, too ugly, not rich enough, too horny, too desperate, and probably dozens more that I don't even remember right now.

You would think by now that I would have callouses on my callouses, but it doesn't work like that. Sometimes, yes, the insults just slide off my back. Other times, they do hurt. Sometimes I am surprised by how much it stings, even when I can see no logical reason for it to do so. Other times, when I was anxious about the results of trying, the negative response comes almost as a relief.


Thing was, I was amused she was concerned about by height rather than I was 40+ years older than her. Not hurt in the least.

Mostly I wasn't hurt because I was already committed to my future wife, I contacted the young woman on POF because she lived 1 mile from my house and liked to ride a bike. My wife was still in Thailand and the other people I ride with are either my age or my mother, I thought it would be nice to ride with someone much younger as it would be more of a challenge. A refreshing change of pace.

I really had no thought of dating her, but I can't fault her for leaping to that conclusion, it's a dating site after all. I never did explain I was only interested in a riding partner as I got side tracked. (those were the days where there wasn't an age restriction on who you could contact.)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 548
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 12/29/2016 10:38:42 AM

(those were the days where there wasn't an age restriction on who you could contact.)


AKA the "glory days".

"Yeah, they'll pass you by
Glory days
In the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days"
 acityofdeniers
Joined: 12/25/2016
Msg: 549
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 12/29/2016 3:31:32 PM
ohenryx,

Is that the chicky-pooh who was just a "little extra," that wasn't quite good enough, until you realized she has a brain and used it to figure you were just too fat to love after the holidays?

The truth is, you are a man-child in a 5x. Look in the mirror. You have dozens of pounds to lose, starting with your obese ego. When you shed all of that and change your attitude, Lord willing, you will meet quality people.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 550
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 12/30/2016 11:49:08 PM
2017 Will be the year of the S I L F !
 montgomery1960
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 551
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/3/2017 9:12:12 AM
"Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 1216 PM

Is there some evil magic about the number "60" that scares some women away - even when they are only 2, 5 or 8 years younger?

op, not only do you not know if these women were being honest with you, you don't even know if their reasons have anything to do with you. they might not actually want to meet anyone, their dance cards might have just gotten full - there are a million possible reasons and you'll never know, so analysis is pointless. keep trudging and don't look back."

Makes perfect sense. Best not to dwell; dating is a contact sport.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 552
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/3/2017 11:48:54 AM
I dunno...some people are 60 and others are
SIXTY. Some 60 year olds are too old for me.
I try not to look at numbers, but honestly, that
I'm on the radar of 75 to 80 year olds sort of
freaks me out...
so I get it.

People want what they want...or what they can't have.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 553
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/3/2017 4:26:37 PM
About a year ago on another dating site I ran into the profile of a woman I had dated years ago. We have been dating again for the past year and it is getting serious. Turns out her mother is three years younger than my ex-wife.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 554
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/21/2017 11:02:48 PM

browneyesboo
Some 60 year olds are too old for me.
I try not to look at numbers, but honestly, that
I'm on the radar of 75 to 80 year olds sort of
freaks me out...
so I get it.


When I was 63, I was dating a woman who was 73. And we had a great time. So ... whatever works.

My last date was with a woman 2 years older than me. The one before that was 20 years younger.

Tonight I was at a meetup event, wound up dancing with a woman that I have known for at least a year. She is beautiful, and a really good dancer. Always doing the fanciest moves on the dance floor, dancing with the guys who are really great dancers. To tell the truth, she kind of intimidated me, what with her looks and the dancing.

But tonight, I worked up my nerve, and asked her to dance. And it worked out okay, being a really good dancer she could follow anything I was doing, and she didn't try to do anything other than follow my lead.

A nice night, a good night. Small steps.

The last woman I was ... infatuated with, or crazy about, or whatever words might apply... I have kind of given up on her. She is dating a rich guy, takes her on expensive weekend getaways. I have done such things, but not on a regular basis, and not to the extent this guy is doing. So I'm going to let this one go. Look for someone new. I don't blame her, she is recently divorced, and exploring her possibilities. And I knew all of that going in, so ...

I continue dating, and going to Meetups. I just really want someone who takes my breath away, someone who excites me. And I found that, but it didn't work, so start over.... The woman I was dancing with tonight could definitely take my breath away. We shall see. Tonight was a a good night. Small steps.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 555
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/22/2017 5:28:34 AM
Tell me to asked her out. Forget small steps and take a giant leap of Faith Henry :)
Man I wish someone would take me away on expensive vacays. I'd prolly get up early and clean the hotel
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 556
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/23/2017 10:33:39 AM


Tell me to asked her out. Forget small steps and take a giant leap of Faith Henry :)
Man I wish someone would take me away on expensive vacays. I'd prolly get up early and clean the hotel


Oh, I asked. The response was ... indeterminate, slanting towards no. She said she was aiming to not date within Meetup, she had tried that and it didn't work out. I tried some damage control, telling her that the way to date within Meetup was to NOT take dates to Meetup events, indeed, don't let anyone else in the Meetup group even know that you're dating. This way, no one is embarrassed or uncomfortable when or if it doesn't work out.

She responded that people always find out. And I pointed out that with the last guy she was dating, they went to a spot where many members of the meetup group tend to hang out. Indeed, I saw here there myself with her ex-boyfriend. She asked where I went on dates, and I told her I did not take dates to a club to go dancing. I prefer venues where you can actually talk, and get to know someone.

The conversation was difficult, as we were in a loud environment, live music, big crowd, etc. Things are ... indeterminate, as I said, but there is hope, I will see her again, and press my case. But not too hard. Fine line to walk there.
 Kj521
Joined: 11/16/2016
Msg: 557
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/23/2017 5:25:46 PM
Hope is a beautiful thing, Mr. Ohenry! Wishing you much luck, a magical star alignment and a hypotizing full moon when you meet her again. :)
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 558
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 1/28/2017 4:13:41 AM
"Too old" might not even be a reference to your actual age. I know men my age who are older than me and I know men my age who are younger than me. I can meet a woman my age and think yeah, she's great or I could meet a woman who's younger than me and think nah, she's old. Am I making sense? It's not just about the number.
 Mrtampa
Joined: 8/30/2014
Msg: 559
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 2/26/2017 3:00:00 PM
you are at an age where men shouldn't do the chasing. (I'm 58)

Make sure you have your act together: Get healthy, dress well, show your success and wisdom, be charming, mature, calm and in control...

...and let them chase you --- they will-- I guarantee it.

And don't be surprised if the ones that come to you are 10 to 15 years younger.

I speak from experience.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 560
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/18/2017 1:34:00 PM
I`m confused as to why, when someone has a certain preference ( whether it be age, distance, etc) they cannot be bothered to use their mail settings to weed those out?
I wonder if some people get some perverse satisfaction out of answering messages all day and telling people they are too old, live too far away, etc
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 561
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/18/2017 2:05:18 PM
^^ While normally I would agree with your 'solution' to the problem, as a forumite I do not have any mail settings so that people can write to me about the forums.

That said, I have the age and distance criteria expressly listed in my profile in no uncertain terms so if a man writes to me who is too old/young or too far away, I do not feel guilty just blocking with no response. Although I admit that I have made a snarky reply a few times over the years - sometimes I just get fed up with the 'kids' who write because they must think a fat, middle-aged, high income, divorced woman is desperate for them hawt young thangs - not.
 sunny36330
Joined: 2/12/2017
Msg: 562
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/18/2017 9:19:37 PM
You hit the nail on the head, Velma.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 563
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/19/2017 9:28:11 AM
I have mentioned before that you shouldn’t try too hard with your initial messages. Often times, you can entice a woman to answer when she has absolutely no intention of ever actually dating you. I did not originate this idea, I first heard it from abelian, here in these forums, and I have heard other men espouse the same thing. I believe TallIQ (before he went bonkers) was another.

Case in point, I spotted a profile yesterday, an attractive woman, mid-fifties, one picture shows her with 4 dogs. So I drop her a line:



Good afternoon, ____, how are you on this warm Spring afternoon?

I must say, that is a lot of dogs! Are they all yours? I have two dogs myself, both rescues.

Henry


She replied back this morning. Three paragraphs, a very nice message. Yes, they are all hers, all rescues. She talks about how they have enriched her life.

She compliments my profile, says she is going to steal my Nietzsche quote and use it herself.

And closes with this:


I love your profile, I'm afraid though you're out of my age range. Shame... I'm sure you're a great catch. Thank you Henry and good luck to you!


It was nice to get a reply, and from someone not only attractive but literate. It was just damned disappointing to read through her message, with mounting hope, only to get my hopes dashed by that last paragraph.

My first reaction was, “It would have been better to get no reply at all.” But after sober reflection, I’m glad she did write. It was nice to get a reply, and from someone not only attractive but literate.

Closing thought: This is yet another reason why real life is to be preferred to OLD. I’ll bet you a nickel, if I had run into her at a Meetup and asked her to dance, she would not have turned me down due to my age (which she wouldn’t have known anyway). We have talked it to death here in these forums, but it is the nature of OLD that anything which can be expressed in numbers is a killer in this venue. Age, height, etc.
 Mrtampa
Joined: 8/30/2014
Msg: 564
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/24/2017 10:55:41 AM
Really...

Some older women haven't gotten the memo.

When I was looking, I read a number profiles, with long lists of demands, that left me with a "Yeah, right" attitude.

Reality will eventually visit us all.
 missrightright
Joined: 6/30/2016
Msg: 565
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 3/24/2017 4:49:11 PM
Some women and men prefer to date people younger than themselves. This usually works out fine as some folks prefer to date older partners.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 566
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 4/4/2017 7:10:31 AM
a long winded video, but there's some interesting philosophies, such as an older fellow should only approach women who would be interested in him. That not all younger women seeking older men may have daddy issues, but instead might be looking for a fellow who isn't looking for Netflix and chill, but instead might take her into his world for a little while of escape.

http://adamgilad.com/dywd2
 dorani
Joined: 1/26/2011
Msg: 567
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 4/4/2017 4:25:52 PM
Why might I ask did you only contact women younger than you? Myself I find that older men seem to be so very much older in their outlook on life and I guess the fact women live longer than men is why they have a younger outlook.. or are we all trying to recapture our youth? I have nothing against any age its how the person is in fitness and approach to life.
 beginthebeguine
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 568
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 4/11/2017 9:39:35 AM
Like men, women don't want to date a 70 yr old when she is in her 50s. I'm in my early 50s and got a response from a 63 year old. Stated he was 56 then at the very end stated he is actually 63 and couldn't change his age preference.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 569
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 4/11/2017 9:53:07 AM
That mean Easter chick is back
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 570
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 4/11/2017 4:09:56 PM

She said she was aiming to not date within Meetup, she had tried that and it didn't work out.
That's great. A good reason to suggest getting out of there. ;-)


She asked where I went on dates, and I told her I did not take dates to a club to go dancing.
A red carpet to ask her in return where she liked to go on dates and "passingly" suggest one in one of those places.


and press my case. But not too hard.
It's usually best not to make any case. Just start a conversation with her see where it leads. Since she mentioned she tries not to date within Meetup, if I were you, I'd "innocently" ask about other places she thinks are better choices. You could subsequently "suggest" meeting her there in the next 15 minutes or so ;-)

Good luck.

OT:


Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Not much to be confused about. The woman wants to date someone younger. Seems fairly clear.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Confused about "You're too old for me" responses from women