Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Confused about "You're too old for me" responses from women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Perigee123
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from womenPage 3 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
Why ask why? You don't have a right to explanation; people have their personal preferences, and that just happens to be theirs.

I'm sorry, OP - I understand that you are bummed out that someone - or several someones - have excluded you, but like so many "sub-perfect wonderers" ("Why do people read and delete me?" "Why can't people see past the fact that I look like a Panamanian Gorilla?" "Why does my morbidly obese frame turn women cold?"), your question is simply asking people to defend the way they feel about things.

It's not unfair for them to decide what they want. It is unfair for you to ask them for an appeals hearing. It's petulant. Shake it off, and get back in the game, if you're looking for a win.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:34:00 PM
island mermaid and welsh both had some good points

take a look at your profile, assess it in terms of limiting or being too narrow in describing what you want, and realize that we won't appeal to everyone.

good luck,
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:52:04 PM

...Age is not just a number, it's an attitude...

And I agree totally with that. I just got two emails yesterday from two different women who are the same age - 71 - one is a friend, one is a family member. One is busy showing her horses regionally and nationally and winning ribbons after ribbons. The other says she's "too old, too tired, and too disinterested to do anything productive." Not only that, but the one who is busy with her horses is a cancer survivor as well.

I would never judge anyone by their age alone. It's the whole package, meaning character and zest for life, that's important to me.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 54
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:55:55 PM
I haven't found any luck with men in their 50s online (i.e., cheap, dirty, crude, bitter, sex-obsessed ...).


I am wondering just how young a 54 year old woman has to date to find a man who is not cheap, dirty, crude and sex obsessed ( I was far more sex obsessed at 14 than I am at 53 ) and I knew more that a few teenagers in high school who were bitter ( angry and self destructive ) as a result of their home life ( I had period of that myself ) - some of them grew out of it and became better people and some did not.


Maybe it's time we all leave our assumptions and preconceived ideas at the door and act like human beings. We're all getting older and even if you think you're hot at 50 or 54 there is always somone out there that thinks you're old, ugly and unworthy


Well put Welsh and thanks for making me laugh. May I add that some of us think that just because we look good from far that some people won't think we look far from good.
 Fightdirector
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 55
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 12:34:58 AM
My hair has been silver-gray since I was about 45 - it's a family genetic trait and I don't want to dye it another color.

FYI: The picture of me wearing my kilt was taken only two weeks ago.

Besides, as I have often said, it's better to have long, thick hair that you have to get cut every three weeks than nothing but a head of skin.

When I was 58, I didn't have trouble getting dates with women who were 56 - but now that I am 60, women who are 58 say "You're too old for me".

BTW: Just last week I had a first date with a woman who is 35 - and we're going out to a jazz club this weekend. I guess the lesson I am learning is not to date women close to my age - date women 20+ years younger - they appreciate a mature man more and aren't as "ageist" as women in their 50's or 60's.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 6:21:31 AM
@Flightdirector, it's been my experience most women in the 50 on up range suffer from the Mrs. Robinson syndrome, they attempt to recapture their youth using younger men as the elixir...before I'm pummeled there are number of older males suffering the same syndrome..
Like you, younger women are more receptive and actually make advances, unfortunately I have no desire to live the Hefner lifestyle with a kept woman who's more interested in my money than me.
I'd seriously question what this 35 year old wants, is she studying ancient history?
I'll hold out for an older woman who's emotionally ready to except her age as well as mine!
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 57
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:24:22 AM
"Wow...and this coming from an older looking 54 year old woman. I'd have guessed 60 something based on pictures." I have to agree with you Procolharem, those were my thoughts exactly.

We're all attracted to who we're attracted to, my thing is don't automatically disregard someone because of a number in age or height or hair colour or the frivolous things - that each person as they come. There are really old 45 year olds and really young 65 year olds and a big range inbetween. It's attitude, activity levels, open mindedness and character.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 58
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 7:56:11 AM
BTW: Just last week I had a first date with a woman who is 35. I guess the lesson I am learning is not to date women close to my age they appreciate a mature man more.


So exactly how was this 35 yr old appreciating you more that a woman close to your age could. If you are financially secure she may appreciate what you are sending her way. If you are well enough connected in the entertainment industry she may appreciate the the contact and influence you may have. She may appreciate your maturity and worldly experience but that is something you don't need to be in a sexual relationship with someone to do.

If you take her out somewhere where there are attractive men her age paying her attention will you be wondering if she appreciates you for your physical appearance ? How will you feel if she starts complaining about her own minor aging problems ( the odd gray hair, a wrinkle or two ) would you feel self concious about your own physical appearance and how she may be noticing how much older you are than her?

If you hang aroung people who are significantly wealthier and more successful than you do you feel that you have done better than you have. If you hang around people who are more physically attractive than you do you feel more attractive than what you see in the mirror?

Some believe dating someone much younger than themselves makes them feel young. For me being with someone much younger than me would be too much of a reminder of just how old I am.

Good for you though OP... dating a woman who may be younger than your children is has got to be good for your ego. And kudo's for sticking with the kilt pic I hope it brings those young ones flocking to your inbox. Enjoy the experience!

May I give you one last piece of advice - you list martial arts as a interest and list your body type as athletic - you should provide at least one photo that demonstrates an athletic apperance.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 59
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:18:31 AM
OP, I read your profile and wish you were nearby. You are unique and no doubt interesting.

Not all women in their 50's are looking for younger men so maybe it's a certain type you are sending messages to.

60 is not old.
 jaqi
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:40:00 AM
I'm with ShellLady on this. It is all about attitude and state of mind.

The OP looks old in his physical appearance and the clothes he wears and doesn't appear to state any 'active' interests. A lot of women nowadays would like their ideal partner to be fit and healthy. The OP looks pale and pastey faced which would make me think he didn't eat healthily either.

My last long term relationship was with a man 10 years older than me who is very fit and takes pride in his appearance. He also has a very young attitude to life with a lovely child-like glint in his eyes. (We are still very good friends)

My dancing partner is 74! He is agile, fit and looks more like in his fifties.

60 plus doesn't need to be 'old'.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 61
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:50:57 AM

BTW: Just last week I had a first date with a woman who is 35 - and we're going out to a jazz club this weekend. I guess the lesson I am learning is not to date women close to my age - date women 20+ years younger - they appreciate a mature man more and aren't as "ageist" as women in their 50's or 60's.


OP, I was empathetic towards you before---however, you just blew your credibility to smithereens with that statement. The man I'm dating just turned 63, and while I personally have appreciation for men in their 60s, I don't respect those with your attitude. If anyone is "ageist", it is you.

Moreover, since you had a successful date with a woman who is 35, and have another one lined up, I really don't see the point in your starting this thread, unless you were simply trolling for attention.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:54:10 AM
To Msg 68
Well...You do NOT look like the average 54 year old woman that is for darn sure.
WOW!

But the lack of active interests in a profile may only mean he did not include them.
It does not mean he's not active.
His pasty skin? I wear sunscreen / sun block now. Almost never tan, because it's not worth the risk.
Plus some of his pictures were taken in October, by which time any tan would have easily faded away.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 63
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 9:39:01 AM

...it's been my experience most women in the 50 on up range suffer from the Mrs. Robinson syndrome, they attempt to recapture their youth using younger men as the elixir...before I'm pummeled there are number of older males suffering the same syndrome..


How is a woman not wanting to be with someone who is up to 8 years older than she is attempting to recapture her youth or suffering from this so called Mrs. Robinson syndrome? Wasn't the young lad in that movie a teenager still in high-school? How are the two situations even remotely comparable? And what's with the most? It is a fact that the great majority of women still prefer a man to be the same age or slightly older than they are which makes the claim that most women want younger men because of blahblahblah nothing but a lie.

For the record, I haven't commented once on OP's profile or appearance because I personally couldn't care less how old or how young he looks or what his interests are...OP came here demanding to know WHY three women, one of whom was 8 years younger than he is thought he was too old for them. And I stand by my earlier answers with this added - I find it amazing that some people seem to think that not only are they entitled to a reply, but that they are also entitled to an explanation as to why they were rejected, BOTH of which were provided to the OP.

But what blows my mind is that even with this information in hand, OP still can't let go and wants to know WHY those three women felt the way they did, as if anyone but those three particular women would know to begin with.

Furthermore, since when is any one of us obliged to lay on a virtual couch and reveal our most inner thoughts to a stranger on some Internet dating site who is demanding to know WHY we are not interested in them. They (those three women) both replied and provided an explanation for their lack of interest in the OP and still OP feels he is entitled to more. Why is that? And what's next? A lie detector type of sensory device attached to our keyboards so that if we reject or decline an invitation and wish to be kind and say sorry, I'm already taken or something to that effect, a buzzer goes beeeeeeeeeep the biitch/dog is lying the real reason s/he doesn't want to go out with you is because s/he thinks you are _________ !

 Fightdirector
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 64
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 9:43:10 AM

So exactly how was this 35 yr old appreciating you more that a woman close to your age could. If you are financially secure she may appreciate what you are sending her way. If you are well enough connected in the entertainment industry she may appreciate the the contact and influence you may have. She may appreciate your maturity and worldly experience but that is something you don't need to be in a sexual relationship with someone to do.

She is a musician (a sax player) as well - we met at a jazz jam session, enjoyed making music together, and then found out we shared many interests (food, films, books, art, etc.) . Possibly the age difference is looked at differently on her part because she is originally from Kenya (though raised in England). She comes from a different cultural background where older men are valued for their life experience. She has mentioned that she doesn't like dating American men her own age because they "all they want is sex - most of them can't carry on a decent conversation." (I told her I enjoy both - good sex and good converstion )


Some believe dating someone much younger than themselves makes them feel young.

I've always been something of a teacher, and I think that dating someone much younger appeals to that aspect of my personality.
 Fightdirector
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 65
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 9:47:10 AM

find it amazing that some people seem to think that not only are they entitled to a reply, but that they are also entitled to an explanation as to why they were rejected, BOTH of which were provided to the OP.

A brief, "Thank you, but I'm not interested" would have been more polite - a brief lady-like response such as that and then I would never have been motivated to start this discussion.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 66
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 10:00:15 AM
A brief, "Thank you, but I'm not interested" would have been more polite - a brief lady-like response such as that and then I would never have been motivated to start this discussion.


Would that have ended your enquiry or would you have still wanted to know the actual reason why? You know from thier response that they were not interested and they gave you a reason ( probably because they are tired of guys emailing them back and looking for a reason ) but you could not accept that and needed to create this thread. OP you will never know all the real reasons a woman rejects you or leaves you just accept that they have and move on - you were just not for them.


. She has mentioned that she doesn't like dating American men her own age because they "all they want is sex - most of them can't carry on a decent conversation." (I told her I enjoy both - good sex and good converstion


I am wondering if your allusion to having sex with her made her smile or look a little uncomfortable?

If this 35 yr old you are dating rejects you after a few dates ( or maybe after the first time you get naked with her ) will you accept her explaination if she says "you are just too old for me"!
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 67
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 10:31:46 AM

So exactly how was this 35 yr old appreciating you more that a woman close to your age could. If you are financially secure she may appreciate what you are sending her way. If you are well enough connected in the entertainment industry she may appreciate the the contact and influence you may have. She may appreciate your maturity and worldly experience but that is something you don't need to be in a sexual relationship with someone to do.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



I stand by my original post.

It is NOT your stated age.
They are just not interested..move on.

Keep dating the 35 year olds..No one cares except them and the reasons.........WELL.
You can't always get what you want.............Stones.
2 out of 3 ain't bad........meatloaf.

Keeping the face tweaked is not a sin, but you cant hide your neck, posture or curmudgeony attitude.

Definitely advertising IMO.
 jaqi
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 10:37:12 AM
Thank you procolharem, I guess that was a compliment after the not so compliment you left the other lady!

When I referred to his pastey looking skin it was not because he was not tanned. I meant that there was no life in his skin. We don't need to be tanned to have that, just to eat in a healthy manner.

OP silver grey hair is not what ages a man, nor is whether you have hair or not.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 69
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 2:19:48 PM
You know what? I just had an epiphany!
I think women in their 50s (like me) are sort of repulsed by signs of ageing. Like the neck thing that Pepps was talking about. I noticed it, too.
It's all a little too close for comfort.
Whereas, those younger women who do date men 20 years-plus older see his ageing as a counterpart to her glowing youth. They don't see his ageing as having anything to do with them. In fact, it makes them look better. Even if they are very ordinary looking women, they still look YOUNG.
I don't want to date an old man either, yet want to date a man my age. Oh, the conundrum.

Well...You do NOT look like the average 54 year old woman that is for darn sure. WOW!

Jaqui, I just wanted to say I've been wanting to congratulate you on that bod for years. Awesome. I've worked with weights for years and was trained by a female body-builder and ... you've got the look. I can't get there - not disciplined enough with the food.
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 70
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 2:45:00 PM
I'd rather be an old man's darlin
Than a young man's slave

[folk wisdom from Appalachia]
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 71
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 3:07:37 PM
Nicely done spider listing your age as 82 should keep away unwanted emails but you will I'm sure get a few comments like " wow you look good for your age". I have to say you look much younger at 82 than the OP does at 60!
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 72
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 3:27:23 PM
60 is not Evil. Using older photos and showing up at a first meet, is what is evil. And yes, 60 scares some of us. Stick with women who appear like you, in more ways than one. Might have an easier time.

I personally do not buy 60 as your age...I would say a tad bit older.

If you are getting 35 or 40 year olds....it is A) If you have TONS of money dripping and they use you. B) You buy one off a web site. C) maybe some foreign chicks. The kind that will do anything to leave their country or get a free Big Mac.


Stop the nonsense. Thanks !
 Tremolux
Joined: 4/8/2011
Msg: 73
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 4:33:42 PM
Increasingly, it is yet another proverbial "stick to beat you with." Just as it may be one's pallor, one's height, one baldness, one's taste in music, one's perceived fondness for the usual vices of nicotine and alcohol....or some potentially toxic combination of this and so much more.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 74
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 5:16:09 PM
OP, I would say for the same reasons
you aren't emailing ladies aged 68, 65 and 62.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/25/2011 6:54:14 PM
@ val & inthroughtheoutdoor




How is a woman not wanting to be with someone who is up to 8 years older than she is attempting to recapture her youth or suffering from this so called Mrs. Robinson syndrome? Wasn't the young lad in that movie a teenager still in high-school? How are the two situations even remotely comparable? And what's with the most? It is a fact that the great majority of women still prefer a man to be the same age or slightly older than they are which makes the claim that most women want younger men because of blahblahblah nothing but a lie.




Excellent. Points very well made. (The boy had just graduated university and was her daughter's boyfriend--which doesn't actually change your point.)

Oh my, it appears I've hit a nerve, I invite you to go back & reread Flightdirector's original post. He clearly states his age as 60 and he's being rejected by women in his age category, e.g. 58, 55 even 52 IMO could be a viable match..chronological age can be offset by biological age to great degree...as could 62, 65 even 68 be offset...
My reference to the Mrs. Robinson Syndrome merely applies to older women seeking out younger men while rejecting their peers as old duds..little to do with the film itself !
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Confused about "You're too old for me" responses from women