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 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 97
Confused about You're too old for me responses from womenPage 4 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
HEY! That's Lawrence Welk you're talking about! When i was a kid, we spent many a happy night with my grandparents dancing around the room to Myron Floren's "Beer Barrel Polka". There was also Joe Feeney, the Irish tenor. And Henry Questa on his amazing clarinet. And Bobby Burgess and Barbara. Followed by Bobby and Sissy King. Followed by Bobby and ??? (Ok "over 45 Year Olds -- Bobby and Whoooo???)

I love Lawrence Welk and still watch his old reruns. From The Lennon Sisters to Larry Hooper's amazing base:) Of course i also love "vintage" stuff from the six decades that followed Lawrence! And I'll bet the OP does too!

Let's hear it for All the Lawrence Welk boomer grandkids

And P.S. The above is why it is just plain nice to have a romance with somebody our own age
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 99
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/26/2011 5:20:04 PM
Quoting another of the OP's posts from 2008 he was fairly enamored with older women


One of the women in my life is 9 years older than I - and my nickname for her is "The Energizer Bunny". She attributes it partially to being repressed until she was in her late 50's and finally allowing herself to come out of her shell.


Maybe he has changed his mind in the last 3 yrs and figures he has one last shot at dating the young ones.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 100
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:44:47 PM
^^^^
I suspect those men who try to date significantly younger women are hoping that the fact that there are more women available for dating than men gives them an edge. They may be right, but I still think we are more likely to have a long-term compatible relationship (and therefore more likelihood of happiness) with people nearer our own age .
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 101
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/27/2011 7:11:18 PM
I was a grandma at age 36. I married young - had my first at 18 and my oldest daughter had her first at 18 (and yes we were married before PG.) So saying someone looks like a grandma or grandpa is stereotyping.

At 36 to even 45 everyone thought my grand kids were mine. I'm now 52 and look like a grandma and mom. I'm fine with that.

As for the neck thing - no one wants it but it will happen for some of us.

The men and women that look old and yet say they don't want to date old might want to have cosmetic surgery then. Yes, that seems mean but seriously....
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 102
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/28/2011 11:41:28 AM
For me, “too old” is more about attitude, as Velma explained so well on the “giving up” thread. (Where I reached my post limit! rats) Physical fitness is good, and equally as important as intellectual and emotional fitness. I’ve known pliant people still intellectually and emotionally growing (growth= youth) of many ages, and rigid brittle people of many ages. Change and growth is the nature of life, and the essence of youth. Brittleness and ceasing to grow is the opposite of youth, and therefore “too old” for me.

OP has a few things in his profile that are positive under that definition of youth. He cited reading material, says smarts are sexy, and does martial arts. Hmm. He’s also in the arts, which is stereotypically a bit adventurous in terms of thought, ideas, social change. Not a lot there to reveal himself, but a few little indicators that he could be intellectually and emotionally fit and youthful.

OP, "too old" is a state of mind, heart, and body. (Alzheimer's research has proven that to be true!) So maybe be glad that these women are weeding themselves out, and you can explore up and down in chronologicl age to find someone truly youthful in a range of ways?
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 112
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 9:35:23 AM
Dear OP,

KevJohns beat me to the keyboard regarding your being a THREE time Appalacian Trail veteran! Why not include this very telling piece of bio in your profile? Anyone of any age embracing a lifestyle of wellness would easily appreciate what such a major accomplishment says about your "real age":)

And P.S. The Lawrence Welk info (as i've already noted) is great. And to heck with anyone unable to appreciate it:)
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 114
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 11:10:57 AM

- ...would do wonders in convincing the women here he was very youthful and energetic
- Even better if it shows him carrying a fifty pound pack with all of his belongings. I mean, how many even young guys here could compete with that?


The bottom line is that no one should try to convince anyone of anything, specially in this milieu. This is not a competition and it wouldn't make one bit of difference in the interested/attraction department if Atlas himself wrote to me from a profile showing pictures of him carrying the whole world on his shoulders! Sheesh...what's next? No one is allowed to be disinterested in a person because he or she is stronger, more fit, in better shape than the average bear?

Having read all of OP's posting history, I seriously doubt the validity of this thread to begin with...how likely is it that one person not only has their emails answered when there is no interest but that not once but several times those replies mention his age? This isn't the first time that OP has complained about women replying with you're too old, too this, too that and I for one don't buy any of it. I think OP just wanted to promote himself/his venue and/or wanted to stir the pot, both of which he succeeded in doing.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 116
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 12:15:39 PM
"I'm not interested" is the polite thing to do - and a reasonable person would accept an "I'm not interested" response and move on and leave you alone


Probably because unlike yourself many women find that a significant portion of the men who message them are not reasonable. This is just another case of the few ruining it for the many - it's just the way it is in online dating and IRL as well. I would think you would know that already or do you just not want to accept it.


Maybe it's because in real life they meet me at a club performing or at the dojo sparring with a karate partner or on the trail backpacking


I think I mentioned in one of my earlier post that if you want to be seen as youthful it is a good idea to include pics that show your youthful side. There is enough feedback on this thread alone that maybe your pictures are not doing you justice - is it really that hard to add a couple of pics showing your other side?
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 117
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:06:06 PM

If I get what you are saying Inthroughthedoor, OP is looking for somebody to tell him how youthful he looks in his photos rather than looking like a 70 plus year old man, and I assume you do not believe that Op actually walked the entire Appalachian trail three times?


No, that's not it - it's not about whether OP expected anyone to comment on how young or how old he looks - it's about creating a thread that is related to your profile and how you look where very clearly in said profile it is indicated that a) you are looking for a pianist and b) there are two YouTube links promoting yourself/your videos. OP knew that people would be looking at his photos and profile by creating this thread dealing with a topic that seems to be a recurring theme for OP since he posted about the same thing using the almost exact words back in 2008:


I'm 57 years old and have had 55 to 60 year old women respond to my initial e-mail with:

"I'm very sorry, but you're too old for me. Men over 55 are worn out, washed up and have too much baggage."


...to which I'm calling BS. Women are not only accused of not responding to emails, but they are also accused of being timid, of not wanting to hurt people's feeeelings and yet here we have a man claiming that women are going on a rant about men over 55 being all washed up with too much baggage blahblahblah for just him (op) contacting them and them being not interested. Hahaha. Yeah okay. Whatever floats your boat.

My other point is that it does not matter why certain people are not interested or attracted to us and it's not about whether OP or anyone is more youthful, stronger or in better shape than their counterpart.

I would no more consider the fact that OP can climb Mount Everest (or whatever trails or mountains he's climbing/hiking/walking) with a five hundred pound sack on his back than I would not consider someone who can't walk at all - it's both arrogant and presumptuous for anyone to assume to know what other people may or may not find attractive/interesting in a person.

It also speaks of someone with severe entitlement issues - how dare this or that person not be interested in me? Look at me! I am more youthful, have more energy, can do more of this and more of that and they still don't want me...how dare they??!?

And this competition thing? That's both laughable and pathetic...I, as well as each and every one of us, am not in competition with anyone...how exactly do we compare a human being to another anyway? The WHOLE human being I mean, not body parts or the results of a pulmonary function test or how generous or not the gene fairy was to us or anyone in particular?

There are tons of women in my age group who look younger, are more attractive and who are far sexier than I am, have ever been and will ever be ... so what? Is that supposed to be some sort of news? OMG...hold the press...I am not the center of the universe and the whole world doesn't revolve around me. What's a poor girl to do?

Oh I know ...maybe I can start a thread asking why men, some as much as 8 years younger than I am aren't falling all over themselves to be with a oh so special oh so youthful oh so vibrant woman such as myself - all in my entitled eyes of course.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 118
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:14:50 PM
I for one...Would never respond with a comment referring to...your too old for me!
If a polite answer is not suffice for some...then I may have to get more nasty or point blank...the foilables of on line dating!
I have to admit...I will avoid any man that is carrying on about "how young I look" in real life and how vibrant I am....Just tells me they are insecure with their age...imo.
However, I have my age settings for my preferences. Have dated younger and older men and I totally agree...it is attitude,place in life,interests and Yes... what we find attractive to "us"....don't sweat it...Move on!
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 119
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:20:54 PM
I just don't get this.
There are lovely and sexy women on POF right now 6 and 8 years older than me, maybe when I get there I'll be scoping out the 75 year-olds with a**** grin!!
I hope so.
It's all about attraction.
Period.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 120
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:43:24 PM
Not for nothing, but is having hiked the trail 3 times a reason
to date someone you're not attracted to? All of a sudden they
become more attractive? I don't think so. People are either
attracted to you or they aren't...and doesn't matter what we think,
initial attraction is usually looks.

Not everyone is attracted to me. Sometimes it's because I'm too
old, sometimes it's because they don't like my look. Should I add
a bunch of stuff to attempt to turn these people around? Who the
heck wants to convince someone we're worth knowing?

 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 123
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 2:33:05 PM
I would imagine that when the OP says he did the Appallacian Trail 3 times he was referring to only select parts of it. Otherwise I have to scratch my head and wonder why someone would walk the same 3500 km three times for fun. With so many other wonderful ways to spend your time recreating in the world this would strike me as someone who was a bit obsessive and single minded.

Lets see with an average walking speed of say 5 kph , 3500 km is 700 hrs of walking at lets say 10 hrs per day ( 70 days ) so who in thier right mind would want to spend a minimum of 70 continuous days of thier time off doing a hike that they have already done.

Just because someone is fit enough for activities that most of us don't do does not mean they look youthful. I have a friend who is 83 and he still moutain climbs and backcounty skiis and every year I am amazed at how well he can keep up downhill skiing in the Powder ( and he speed skiied his age in MPH when he was 74 ). He is as thin as a rail and very fit for his age - while his posture, the way he carries himself, and the sharpness of his mind indicate that of a much younger man his skin texture and colour are appropriate for his age.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 128
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:11:49 PM
I just finished my third Maine-to-Georgiahike of the Appalachian Trail.That is the entire trail/


If that is so please refer to my last message - what a waste of time to want to do that 3 times. Think of what else he could have done with his time in the time it would take to hike that extra 7000 km. Someone with a youthfull mind would be seeking to spend thier energies on new adventures and not just repeat the past IMO.


Post a pic and I'll you how fit and youthful you look.


It would be far too easy to post a fake or really old pic to prove a point would it not?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 131
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:47:58 AM

So in answer to your question: YES YOU SHOULD, if you are serious about dating from this site that is. Always do your best at whatever you do. And on a dating site, that means putting your best foot forward to score as many possible dates as possible. The more dates you have, the more chance you will find somebody with whom you hit it off.


No. If someone is already turned off by me, I'm not going to do anything to try to
change their mind. If someone thinks I'm too old already, I'm not going to post all
the stuff I can and cannot do. If I'm not good looking enough, I'm not going to
learn tips on make up and such, and if I'm too fat, I'm not going to lose weight for
them.

The point is, if people aren't attracted to you, they can give all the reasons in the
world why they aren't and there isn't anything you can do to change their mind.
Maybe saying "you're too old for me" is just another way of saying "no thanks,
I'm just not interested in YOU."
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 135
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:07:12 AM
I disagree with that statement. Why give up something you enjoy, because you already did it? Did you stop having sex because you did it once and should be looking then for other things to do? I ride my bike on a great trail. It's near a river, farm houses, cows and horses. It's relaxing and I enjoy it.


There is a big difference in what you want to do over and over that takes an hour to a weekend to complete but a 3500 km hike is a 2 to 3 month adventure.

OP you have still not indicated directly to us weather you did the entire trail or a portion of it. If you did complete the entire trail in one go how long did it take you and how did you manage to find that much time?


Even if the woman I sent an e-mail to looked at my profile and thought "ugly knees" - why can't she reply "Sorry, I'm not interested" instead of writing "You've got ugly knees and I don't date guys with ugly knees"? Honesty may be a good thing, but so is civility and politeness


Yes more tact and diplomacy would be a good thing and we all lack it from time to time. However the world is full of people blowing smoke trying to coerce us into believing something that may not be true so sometimes real honesty is refreshing.

When I was working at Suncor I was talking to a young engineer who shared an interest in skiing and we got talking about back country hikes. When I told him about a little adventure we had skiing the glacier at Joffre Lakes ( a relatively easy weekend trip) he was impressed but he mistakenly thought we had climbed Mt. Joffre. I could have let him believe I had accomplished that much more significant feat but that would really have been dishonest.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:24:08 AM

Even if the woman I sent an e-mail to looked at my profile and thought "ugly knees" - why can't she reply "Sorry, I'm not interested" instead of writing "You've got ugly knees and I don't date guys with ugly knees"?

Honesty may be a good thing, but so is civility and politeness.
I couldn't agree with you more on this note! However, whether she said you were too old or even if not interested, the vast majority of folks return come back with hostility. Sometimes, OP, you just can't win for losing! I don't sweat the responses here, learned that a long time ago.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 141
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 9:06:04 AM
I did this hike, and the lack of oxygen at 14000 feet will give even a great endurance athlete quite a workout.


Funny thing about altitude is that being a great endurance athlete ( having great cardiovascular health ) is not the only factor in how altitude affects us. Some are more predisposed to it than others based largely on genetics. Acclimatization to altitude is the second or most important factor. Look at how high the Sherpa's on Mt. Everest are able to climb without oxygen!

I went skiing at 11000 and 13000 ft on two seperate occasion and had no problem breathing whereas a couple of people in my group who were more fit than I was were struggling a bit ( a bit of payback was had for leaving me in the dust at lower altitudes )
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 144
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 3:51:22 PM
Man, Ruby was right, this is turning into a lot of blah, blah, blah or just a bunch of dogs marking their territory as to who climbed the highest and who is in better shape.

The "ugly knees" comment as well as the "you're too old for me" comments are just plain rude - either don't respond or just say "thanks but no thanks". That's it, nothing more required. We like what we like and pass over what we're not interested in, quite simple really.

To the above poster - you aren't out here in datingland, you're not single/not looking, you don't post a picture yet make snide comments to the OP about his looks and physical condition, you seem to give "advice" freely yet do you really understand the situation and somehow I hear Carly Simon singing "You're So Vain" in my head.

I have empathy for the OP - we've all had this type of response and we move on.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 147
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 7:49:53 PM
Pinkoleander brings up a good point about turned tables.
But my thinking is with those who say "Thanks but no thanks" is apt to bring another email asking why, arguing, hostility,etc. And some people are not comfortable with giving no response-it feels rude.
"too old/too young for me" and "you live too far away" seem to be responses that don't leave much room for debate-these statements are not insulting,vague,debatable-and they do serve the purpose of politeness.

But it is kind of funny-if we don't respond to an initial contact email, we are in the wrong. If we respond with a "no thanks", or "I don't see us as a match", it seems to invite arguments and recriminations. If we say we just started seeing someone, then we get chewed out for not having left the site-or it becomes the topic of a forum rant. If we pick an inarguable factor( age, distance) as a reason for our disinterest, we're in the wrong for that.
yep-can't win...
Cindy O
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 148
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 7:56:17 PM
The empathy I have for the OP is in the responses he received from women basically in his age group - "you're too old". If I don't fancy someone who emailed me I either ignore them, block them or say "thanks but no thanks". I don't even send a rude response to the 24 year olds that email me the old "hi, I love older women, wanna fvck" - I block.

No, we don't always get what we want. I've been in datingland long enough to know that and I'm sure the OP has been too. His question was basically "why the rude responses", especially from those in his age group. He's not chasing 25 year olds, he's talking about women his own age or close to it.

As for walking the Appalation (sorry on the spelling) Trail, he said he did it 3 times, stated when he did it although I don't recall the third trip. So what. You go on and on about being athletic, confident, etc. yet you have no picture - we don't know that, you could well be a 75 year old fat guy for all we know - it is easy to hide behind the computer screen and make shit up. Hence the You're So Vain comment. It's easy to be an arm chair quarterback when you're not in the game.

You state that the OP is 60 and you think he's 70. Who really cares unless you're the one that is going out with him. Lots of folks have a full head of grey/white hair at a "younger" age. One gal I worked with was like the OP at 35 and she never coloured it. I know many men the same way. The OP had folks telling him to dye his hair - the only thing that need lightening around here is our attitudes.

I'm not naive - I'm not dating the OP and neither are you. Do you really care if he's 60 or 64 or if he has grey hair or black hair or if he has ugly knees or not - are you dating him? I know I'm not so I don't really care if he fudged his age or not but I'm not going to argue with him. In the big picture the OP's age means nothing to me and it should mean nothing to you. The OP is a guy on a dating site looking for a women to make his life happy, that's it. I know what's in it for him but what's in it for you to continue to pick on him. Does it somehow make you feel better to run him down, run down his accomplishments, make fun of him, etc.

It all boils down to the numbers game - we, those of us looking for a partner, send out emails. Sometimes we get rude responses, deal with it and move on. It's a big pond out there and don't get discouraged. We can't control the rude folks and their responses.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 149
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/30/2011 10:57:28 PM
The OP is a guy on a dating site looking for a women to make his life happy, that's it. I know what's in it for him but what's in it for you to continue to pick on him. Does it somehow make you feel better to run him down, run down his accomplishments, make fun of him, etc.


...My thoughts exactly.



It all boils down to the numbers game - we, those of us looking for a partner, send out emails. Sometimes we get rude responses, deal with it and move on. It's a big pond out there and don't get discouraged. We can't control the rude folks and their responses


Being here for years now has taught me to NOT take things personally...wow...did I say years? What the hell.....

...mae
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 150
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 12:16:33 AM
Msg 172

but wonder if I am fooling myself if I try to make that climb now and what I can expect at those altitudes

I wouldn't expect at those altitudes any females telling you that you are too old.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 152
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 6:07:25 AM
This really is just another nice guy whiney thread.
Most of us have come to accept the fact there are just
plain rude people on this site as well as in real life, but
we don't all go boohooing around about it.

When you start a thread on the fishes, you open yourself
up for responses, and you have no control over what gets said.
Long time posters will always point out you can't expect to have
everyone post cheery yeah I'm with ya posts. Frankly, it all depends
if the majority like ya, if they do..you're in like flynn, if not, well
prepare to get beat to a pulp. For some reason, the majority seem
to like this guy so he's being coddled. Whatever.

I'm too old for a lot of guys, and honestly? Most of the people I
see in the pond my age are too old for me. It all comes down to
attraction. For the record, I don't believe for a minute the OP is 60
and I'm pretty sure the women he's contacting don't either and THAT
could be the crux of his problem.

 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 155
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:44:29 AM
On the topic of being too old for me. This is becoming an increasing problem in the workplace where there is a shortage of jobs ( we are competing with younger people for a shrinking pool of jobs ) and a change in the workplace requiring people to change jobs and retrain more frequently than in the past. I think men feel more issues with being too old in the workplace than they do in relationships or maybe the insecurity in the workplace is carrying over into our relationships.

To below - you need to let it go
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