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 AUTHOR
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 168
Confused about You're too old for me responses from womenPage 5 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
I know...it's amazing. She wasn't afraid to bare it all. I can only hope to look half as good when I reach that age.

Some are fortunate to be blessed with good genes, then combine that with healthly eating habits and exercise...."Looking Good Naked"


...mae
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 169
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 6:52:37 PM
Different people age differently...you can't look at someone's pic and GUESS they are lying about their age...what do you wish him to do..post his driver's license pic with the age on it?

I do have a bit of an issue with those who feel lying for any reason is ok...I know I have wasted so much time and energy getting to know someone only to find out that the person has lied about a major issue...it is not a point I give on. If a persons lies about their age/height etc ...you have to wonder why...it generally means they aren't happy with themselves and seek to make themselves appear in a better light...I don't want someone who feels this way about themselves...that is it ok to lie to make yourself appear better...
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 170
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:02:33 PM
Did you see Diane Keaton is Something's Gotta Give? She's 65 and her naked body looked FANTASTIC


And what was Jack Nicholson's first reaction when he saw her naked!
 knight523
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 171
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:03:11 PM
may those so concerned about age as a number, may they end up alone in the end,
because by the time they quit playing the good men will have found something better
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 172
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:06:58 PM

may those so concerned about age as a number, may they end up alone in the end,
because by the time they quit playing the good men will have found something better

There are plenty of people to go around, of all ages. For those who prefer younger, there will always be younger ~ for those who prefer their own age, again ~ there will always be plenty of those as well. For those who prefer older? I'm certain there will always be plenty of options in that demographic, too. It's all just personal preference and it's highly unlikely any one group will be left out based upon age interest. JMO
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 174
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:25:11 PM
Hey Novi Guy!! Have a cone at Guernsey's for me! Plus, you're right- silly fusses.

Kevjohns, You're being obsessive. Some people lie on dating sites and in real life. So? This seems to be a major, major issue for you, but isn't the topic of the thread.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 176
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 7:47:43 AM

I like being part of "we".

Yeah me too...but when the offered "we" seems to be an abbreviation for "weinerhead",I tend to find myself re-evaluating the opportunity and giving it a miss.
"Sugar and spice" is for sissy girls and girly men, IMO.

But anyway, how did this thread get clear to hell and gone over HERE? How did it become about lies, altitude, fitness, the Appalachian Trail,ugly knees and kilts? ( I happen to LIKE a man in a kilt-probably my Scots-Irish ancestry...)

It's supposed to be about responding to a guy who is troubled because a few women have responded to his contact with a "you are too old for me" answer. Personally, I think it's more a matter of offering a fairly inarguable reason for their lack of interest.

Sorry,OP, we "ladies of a certain age" can be a tough crowd. Hey-they could have thrown sugar and spice to the wind and told you they didn't like the cut of your jib,or think your swash is about to buckle. I think they wanted to at least be polite enough to acknowledge your contact, without getting into an email fight over their disinterest.

Yes, not all guys have the class and grace to accept a plain "not interested" or "I don't think we're a good match"-many will email back and argue the matter. Apparently these so-foolish men don't grasp the concept that trying to ARGUE a woman into a date is the classic "brought a pocketknife to a gunfight" scenario.

I know, there is the "sorry, no interest" email followed up with blocking the guy "strategy"-but to me that kinda feels like throwing a rock at someone who smiled at you.


Kevjohns, You're being obsessive. Some people lie on dating sites and in real life. So? This seems to be a major, major issue for you, but isn't the topic of the thread.

Yes, and there are some interesting theories out there about people who seem angrily obsessed about a particular behavior.

Looking over the OPs posting history, it seems he has dated both older and younger. For whatever reason, right now he's hitting kind of a "dry spell",which can happen to just about anybody.
I'm still inclined to think that 2 or 3 women who mentioned the OPs' age as being a "dealbreaker" should not be making the OP think that all women have gone off their nut.
Maybe the age comment was simply their perception of an "inarguable" reason for their disinterest. Or perhaps these particular women DO prefer to date younger men.

People ARE beginning to question the seeming double standard that a man dating a younger woman was acceptable(or even a higher grade of success!), but for a woman to date a younger man was somehow shameful or pathetic. Actually-given the stats about how more older women are alone because of the death of their same-age or slightly older SO-maybe these women are looking for guys a few years younger, to counter that risk. Or maybe they just want to date to have fun and find younger guys more entertaining/better company-according to their own personal individual values,standards and objectives.
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 178
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 9:24:57 AM
A fit, attractive 58 year old woman IS NOT going to date a 60 year old man who looks like he is fifteen years older than her.

How do you know that? Are you a fit,attractive 58 yr old woman?

For the record, I DO NOT think that the OP looks 12 yrs older than his stated age. People age differently, outside of some very general factors. I have seen guys aged 60 who look younger, and ones who look older.

Should she not be able to get a fit and attractive 60 year old who looks much closer to her age?

Maybe-maybe not. Or maybe she has more interest in character, personality, wisdom, humility, kindness?
On topic-I still am inclined to hold the opinion that "you are too old for me" was simply an inarguable factor that they could use rather than the generic "not interested", or the tactic of not responding at all. Its' 3 women, not 300 women, or even 30 women.

But I also admit we are not going to see fit healthy women dating guys who look much older than them UNLESS there is something special that guy brings to the table, which generally means power and success.

Or maybe a good personality, wisdom, kindness, integrity, a sense of humor, humility-pehaps they have a shared interest/hobby/cause...
But the whinge about "power and success" (or "money") usually comes from people who think they aren't getting the dates they "deserve"because of people who have more "power and success"-or who tend to generally feel powerless and unsucessful.
For the record, in my life I have sometimes dated/ had relationships with men who were 5 to 10 years younger than I, and ones 5 t0 10 yrs older. These mostly arose from real-life meetings. All of my very serious ltrs/marriage have(this far) were with men a couple of years older than I. I have among my male friends and acquaintances, guys who are OLD at 55 ,and ones who are still YOUNG at 82.
Again-on topic,and MY OPINION. These ladies used the 'too old for me' as simply a less arguable variant of the "I dn't think we are a good match" or " I don't think you really are my "type"...
Cindy O
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 180
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 9:56:47 AM
Well I take people at face value, if a woman says somebody is too old for them, then its likely because that woman feels the person is too old for them. Otherwise, why not simply say I don't think we are a good match


I am surprised at your age you have not figured out that people gloss over the truth in order to make things go more smoothly for themselves. Unfortunately for some people with online dating that seems to include posting old pictures, lying about ones height, age, body type, etc..

As said before in many other threads you have not really met a person until you meet them IRL and that is just the start of getting to know them.

I agree with Lady on this in fact I posted a similar comment to hers in posts #141 and #75 about women just wanting the guy to go away quietly without a fuss so they give him an reply that he would have a difficult time coming back to argue about.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 182
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 10:56:18 AM
^^^^ Saying your are too old is no different than saying too fat too thin too poor to uneducated to white to dark to short too tall too young, too much of an animal lover, too much of a hunter, motor head, too far away etc etc people have preferrence and you have to have a bit of a thick skin for online dating.

I personally have not found dating over 50 difficult at all. If I was trying to date women much younger than myself I probably would. I can't comment on trying to date over 60 ( but I have been on meets and dates with women who were over 60 - a couple of them lied about thier age ) but I am sure as long as I am willing to date age appropriately that it will not be any more difficult than it is now. Right now I see quite a few over 60 women in my area who are single and dating I would imagine that will not change much in the next 10 yrs.

I don't think over 55 is ancient - I did when I was a teenager but it really is about perspective. Maybe the over 45 should be revised to the retired crowd, or an over 60 thread category should be added so that there is some other commonality of background but right now there is no top end limit for over 30 - should this be revises to the 30 to 44 yr old crowd?

I do not consider myself to be significantly removed from the thinking of a 45 yr old at this point so for me over 45 works fine.

To below thanks for the compliment but I am far from the type of guy most women are vying for - my lifestyle is too thrifty and too activity oriented for many women's taste. I am not a keep up with the Jones' kind of guy willing to do renovation after renovation or keep moving up the house ladder so I can have the fancy house and I do not drive a fancy car to keep up appearances and I am not as much of a world traveller as many women would like. I actually hope to be able to afford to retire soon and living within my means is a big part of that.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 185
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 12:24:17 PM
^^^^^yah..all that is absolutely true.
You don't have to prove anything.
But, seriously, are you really 60? Because you
look too old for me.

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 186
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 12:47:48 PM

Different people age differently...you can't look at someone's pic and GUESS they are lying about their age...what do you wish him to do..post his driver's license pic with the age on it?

LOL ~ well, that would be an option, but how 'bout just being honest about it? Really ~ it's not difficult to take a look at one's own birth record, type in the month/year of said birth and let the chips fall. And?? Like it or not? Some of us can spot an age-liar via a couple photos. Whether or not people age differently really is a moot point. Jowls, saggy eyes, floundering chins, etc., etc., speak of age. It might not be a "science" but it's certainly not difficult to tell the difference between a 45 year old person and a 55 year old person MOST of the time. I've found a way to avoid this without asking for a driver's license ~~~ instant cell phone pictures. Send a few of those and it'll be fairly obvious who's 54, with dyslexia claiming to be 45. Personally? I think I look my age and ?? So what? We're all aging. Embrace it, sigh when you think about it, curse it, but for the love of God, be HONEST about it. (And yes, my profile says something of that nature.) I don't care how amazing someone is, he's lying about his age? We're done before we start. Period. (I met a man that was claiming to be 38, he was actually 42. Stunning in appearance. We were done the moment he confessed. I have no use for someone so vain they can't be honest about how old they are.) To each their own, I'd date someone 52+ long before I'd date a 40 year old liar. JMO
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 188
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 1:37:38 PM
Oh good grief! I have worked one day a week in a retirement (not nursing) home for the past 23 years and the one thing I have learned is you can't tell a person's age by just looking at them. You can't even tell by how active and energetic they are. They range in age from 62-102. Some people in their 90's are more active and energetic than the people in their 60's.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 190
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:14:20 PM
I'm just so friggin happy that a few posters that can't seem to grasp the fact of "who cares" or "this effects you how?" and they can't just seem to get it through their thick heads that it all boils down to who cares. None of us are hooked up to lie detectors, half of what you read on here is bullshit anyway. And really, when you put up a profile it is like a resume - you highlight the good. Half the forums threads are full of b.s. and folks don't get called on it. This isn't life or death. And why would someone not even looking to date, who just wants to post on the forums give a rat's azz anyhow as to what any of us put on our profiles.

As for age - 50 year olds can look 60 or 40 and it works like that for all ages. I think I'm a pretty good guesser but it's still a guess. The above poster who works in a retirement home has it bang on.

OP, I hope you find someone to spend your life with. I still think that rude emails and nasty comments are not necessary. Being a human being and use some common sense which is what all of us should be doing. I'm disappointed with some of the comments on this thread regarding bashing the OP. So much for moving on.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 201
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/2/2011 7:12:38 AM
Paddy, for me I have to agree with the lady you quote.


Were you referring to post #48 where I was mocking the recent trends in men's " beauty and age defying " treatments? You had me bit confused with your post I seem to be in agreement with you and not with the lady suggesting older men colour thier hair etc. - could you clarify that for me?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 203
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/2/2011 1:23:27 PM

'You're too old', 'you're too young', 'you live too far away' are sometimes easy-way-out responses for 'I don't like your photo/profile, but rather than really offend you, I'll use the age/distance thing as a reason'.

Precisely...there is little room for argument/discussion in matters of age or distance( some WILL try to argue it anyway!)but that is much less likely than a guy getting pissy or snippy about " Don't think we're a good match".
Now, to just take a tongue-in-cheek flyer at behaving like another esteemed poster to this thread-and this is ALL IN FUN,HUMOR, JOKING!- but (IMO) exactly the way some might respond to Hudsonview-
" But I was born in 1953, and MY hair is not completely snowy white-so you must be lying about your age!"

just kidding just kidding -but you get what I'm going for, right??
sorry, sometimes the temptation to be a wise-ass and a smartmouth just OVERWHELMS me. Some kids just never grow up.
Cindy O
 Kennyinvegas
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 204
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/2/2011 1:45:31 PM
I am seeing some of that myself.....women my age (52) are looking for 42 or 38. So, I'm thinking these dating sites are just a waste of time.....or maybe we should be looking at women who are older than ourselves but well taken care of.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 205
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/2/2011 5:34:29 PM

I'm just so friggin happy that a few posters that can't seem to grasp the fact of "who cares" or "this effects you how?" and they can't just seem to get it through their thick heads that it all boils down to who cares. None of us are hooked up to lie detectors, half of what you read on here is bullshit anyway. And really, when you put up a profile it is like a resume - you highlight the good. Half the forums threads are full of b.s. and folks don't get called on it. This isn't life or death. And why would someone not even looking to date, who just wants to post on the forums give a rat's azz anyhow as to what any of us put on our profiles.


Yeah, isn't this the truth. The irony of it all!



 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 206
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/2/2011 6:04:08 PM


'You're too old', 'you're too young', 'you live too far away' are sometimes easy-way-out responses for 'I don't like your photo/profile, but rather than really offend you, I'll use the age/distance thing as a reason'.


Precisely...there is little room for argument/discussion in matters of age or distance( some WILL try to argue it anyway!)but that is much less likely than a guy getting pissy or snippy about " Don't think we're a good match"

The very few times I've used the 'we wouldn't be a good match' answer, I've also been very specific about why. No one has complained or gotten snippy about it - a couple have thanked me for letting them know - and why - instead of just not answering them.

The ones that boggled me were 2 of the 5 matches I had before I moved to AZ. Both were nice guys, both were regular correspondents, both called me regularly. both said constantly "if you just weren't so far away..." They were at opposite sides of the state, 100 miles max to reach me. One finally went to Europe and got the lady of his dreams (I hope) but at the time I thought to myself "and I live too far away?" The other one goes regularly to the east coast and gets taken to the cleaners financially, just as regularly by whoever the latest one is that trips his "Chemistry" switch.

I don't pay any attention to anything anyone says anymore. I just play around on the forums.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 208
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:59:44 AM
^^^^^^Actually the OP's talks about being rejected by women younger than himself in this thread based on age but he has posted other threads where he had dated women older than himself.

My experience is that most women on this site that I have viewed are looking for age appropriate men. I have seen the odd profile where a woman is looking for someone significantly younger and is not open to dating in her age range but then I have run across a couple of white women's profiles that state that they only want to date black men. These profiles tend to be memorable in that they are not the norm.
 Manysmiles22
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 210
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:03:09 PM
I have to agree with Spirited 101. It is much easier to use an "easy- way- out" response than hurt someone's feelings by telling them their picture or profile just doesn't appeal. On the other hand, sometimes, it is the truth. I am 66, fairly new to dating again and have recently dated guys from 51 to 71. I don't contact them; they contact me. I even have guys in their mid-30's begging to meet me, but I won't go that young, since my sons are older than that!!

The only reason I don't go much older is that I recently buried a husband who was 10 years older & ill for a long time. After nursing him for three years, I'm not anxious to repeat that soon. What most women really want is a man who shows he is a romantic & will listen to them & be sensitive to their feelings and treat them right. Maybe you need to re-write your profile too to convey those things.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 211
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:13:42 PM
Manysmiles, what a lovely outlook on life you have! I wish you much success in your dating.

You are correct most people do not wish to hurt someone else's feelings and so they will pick what they feel is the lesser of two evils. Rewriting the profile to reflect on the things we know that the opposite sex is looking for is good advice for all of us.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 212
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/5/2011 8:37:10 PM
Well Many Smiles I would say you are one of the few that is a good example of someone who actually looks much younger than her age I would have believed you is your profile said you were in your early to mid 50's. Good genetics, good living or both?
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 215
view profile
History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:02:56 AM
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...
look what happens when i take a few days hiatus from pof...(am still recovering from a well celebrated bithday, hic!)...i miss all the fun, along with sooooooooo many factual posts from the "great unwashed".

i sympathise with the op.
i'm having a similar problem in finding a suitable date, albeit that i prefer to date men 20/25 years older. maybe these elusive, to me, men are seeking women younger than i?...
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 217
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History
Confused about You're too old for me responses from women
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:32:56 AM
^thanks for the hint ruby but i couldn't find him!

just had a fruitless search of the sex forums for the 79yo goer...although if he has a 28yo girlfriend i'm unlikely to appeal to him!

i shall have to do as the op has,
i.e. change my preferences.
now, where are all those 70yo spunks hiding?...
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