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 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 131
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First Date Men buying my meal or drinksPage 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

You're right that this can vary. A woman paying for the entire bill on my first dates / meetings has been relatively rare. But when it did happen, sometimes we did go out on another date. On the other hand, a few women didn't offer to pay anything when it was obvious that there wasn't going to be another date.


For a coffee it doesn't matter, which all first dates should be anyway. I think for a meal I would only offer to pay if there was a realistic chance of a second date. If it is obvious there isn't going to be another date there is no reason for to pay the whole bill.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 132
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First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 9:50:17 AM

You're right that this can vary. A woman paying for the entire bill on my first dates / meetings has been relatively rare. But when it did happen, sometimes we did go out on another date. On the other hand, a few women didn't offer to pay anything when it was obvious that there wasn't going to be another date.


For a coffee it doesn't matter, which all first dates should be anyway. I think for a meal I would only offer to pay if there was a realistic chance of a second date. If it is obvious there isn't going to be another date there is no reason to pay the whole bill.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 133
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 10:29:07 AM


Now Aradia

You will be labelled a meal whore if you keep on meeting strangers for meals. Why do it??? Most of the time there will be no connection, the guy has paid out for a meal and you have to sit through it, mostly boring, right???

Just meet for a drink for heavens sake. Plenty of time to eat with them once you are actually dating. That you are a student is not a good reason to expect men to pay for your meals. If they insist then okay fair enough.

Chivalry has nothing to do with it. WOmen expect equality and we cannot have it all ways.
Courtesy and manners yes, but being paid for on meets, no.


Well I want chivalrous men!!!

I don't even want to go out for meals on a first date, the last guy I dated was obsessed with getting take away - his call not mine.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 134
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 10:45:01 AM

Hi there might be some truth in that though, in my 20s I met up with a guy who seemed very nice in fact he had such a nice personality I paid the full bill & drinks
I didn't fancy him though, so reading this has prompted me to think of why I did pay and not split


Yes some women would pay for a date because of lack of interest. However I don't think it's a general indicator though. I know women that have paid for a date because of other reasons. Such as a man going to a venue that was much closer to / more convenient for a woman. Thus he had spent more time and money ( on gas ) just getting there.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 135
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 1:16:39 PM

Who asks who out is irrelevant in my opinion as women very rarely ask men out. A first date should be very cheap ..


Not necessarily.

My boyfriend spent a small fortune on our first date. Of course, we had been friendly and established a rapport, beforehand: we had a coffee date and some periods of online video chat before our first date. Then, he expressed his generosity -- and he's somebody in whom I was genuinely interested and I felt it was a proper move, on his part.

He ensured I was well-fed, warm, safe, and comfortable. He presented me with flowers, a gift, champagne, chocolates, and paid for a nice dinner for me. I felt tremendously appreciated and desired. (And yes, I cooked and cook for him at least a couple of times or so, a week -- he pays for the groceries for most of the date. Other times, I do. No problems.)

I'm not here to criticize a young woman's decisions to go out on dates. If her dates happily insist on paying for the dates, I don't see why she should put up a fight about it. It seems the men are interested in her and appreciate the time she's taken out for them. She maybe returning the kindness with her appreciation and an occasional home-cooked meal, too -- that is, if she's interested. So why is being labeled as a meal whore? (I've not checked her posting history, at great length.)

I don't think it's necessarily wise to go out with people in whom you're disinterested, in the first place. It'd be a great deal of a waste of time for all people involved.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 136
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First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 1:36:45 PM

My boyfriend spent a small fortune on our first date. Of course, we had been friendly and established a rapport, beforehand: we had a coffee date and some periods of online video chat before our first date. Then, he expressed his generosity -- and he's somebody in whom I was genuinely interested and I felt it was a proper move, on his part.


The coffee date you mention IS the first date, you are talking about the second date. Sure later on if you feel the relationship is going somewhere more expensive meals are a good idea but not when you have only just met someone. At the end of the day on the first date you are talking to a stranger.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 137
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 2:37:47 PM
I had just a simple coffee dare/first meet a while ago. The guy was nice enough, I was thinking about seeing him again, but boy did he mess up big time afterwards. He texted me CONSTANTLY afterwards, like every hour on the hour. WHen I didn't respond right away because I was busy, he was like "have you given up on me already". Instant turn off. So I just avoided his text message and figured he'd get the hint. Then he kept messaging me on POF. His behavior was so clingy and stalker like that I had to block him. And he STILL texts me, the last one last night at midnight. He was like "are you there". Take a clue buddy, I'm NOT interested.

So even a simple coffee date can go terribly wrong.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 138
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 2:59:48 PM

And he STILL texts me, the last one last night at midnight. He was like "are you there". Take a clue buddy, I'm NOT interested.


Ok, I gotta ask. Was it HawkingJr?

If so, we can call him "StawkingHawking".

Ha. I f*cking kill me.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 139
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 2/28/2015 5:27:14 PM

I had just a simple coffee dare/first meet a while ago. The guy was nice enough, I was thinking about seeing him again, but boy did he mess up big time afterwards.


Was it a DARE or a first meet? Big difference!
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 140
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 3/1/2015 9:51:08 AM
Was it a DARE or a first meet? Big difference

---

Haha, honest typo, but in retrospect, yes it was more like a coffee DARE, not a DATE, lol.
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