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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvio      Home login  
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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious onesPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I remember when being married, some of our friends were single and expressed feeling like a fifth wheel when around couples. Those friends are now married and I feel like the fifth wheel now when around them and other couples.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 77
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 9:31:07 AM
I hear ya, Maleman. Other than those 17 years of marriage (common law and then 'papered'), I've been a 'fifth wheel' all my life, and it's a terrible feeling.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 78
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 9:46:05 AM
I miss having someone that truley misses me. As another poster has said....sure kids and family would wonder after a few days .
I can remember..I was working nights and a girlfriend had stopped by after work and we got carried away just chatting in the car. I didn't know in the meantime that there had been a major storm come through our home area and wiped out power lines.
By the time I pulled in the drive...He was just getting in his car to come search for me.
Now...this was before I had a cell phone..He bought me one the next day!!

I miss just having that one person that totally understood me and had my back!

I miss the silence when we were both in a room alone and no words needed to be said.
I miss hearing his voice...after years...it still made my heart pitter..patter.
I miss how well..we worked together...we had common goals....we had the same vision for our home and where our lives were heading.
I miss having a partner that there just was "no doubt" of each others devotion.
 xHD1200x
Joined: 11/11/2010
Msg: 79
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 10:09:43 AM
Having somebody grab me a beersie from the fridge and do my laundry haha, well i was spoiled i guess.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 80
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 4:30:35 PM
southmeetswest- I love to grill and I still do for me and my children/friends, I also love to cook, I don't do that as much since I've been divorced.
I'm ok going to things alone, but I admit, bargain hunting, concerts, parties, going out now and then seems kinda weird by myself.
I guess the single oddest thing is being around the friends we had as a couple, no one chose sides or hurt my feelings, they are still my friends, it just is a little odd. After a year, people still ask me about the ex.
 Bigrockinguy
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 81
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:45:46 PM
As my dad passed away about 6 weeks ago,i guess having someone there other than immediate family to consul me,and just turn to.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 82
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:53:28 PM
bigrockguy

my condolences on the loss of your father. it is sad when we lose our parents. our 1st and original connection to another human being.....

missing our parents and all that they gave to us and helped us over the years is a whole 'nother thread. i still think of both mine and wish i had realized earlier in my life how smart and wise they were while they were here and i could tap into that. probably would have avoided some big mistakes if i only known how smart they were!

my best to you,
kaylee
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 83
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:32:02 PM
I guess the strangest thing that I miss is the little letters I used to write. That was a long time ago that I was in a long term relationship. Allow me to explain...I used to write little lunch time messages that told her how I felt about her that day never negative, no matter the day or any issues...how I wanted her to have a wonderful day....I just wrote about little nonsensical things, not really consequential to world peace or anything great, but just little things ...and then those little notes were put in the car...or on her handbag...or even as letters sent to her work..
Now I tend to send little gifts to people I know...just telling them how special they are to me...not often...an affirmation of their value.
 michele6259
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 84
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:36:00 PM
What a nice thread. Thank you Kaylee.


Friday evenings, after work, porch sitting
Someone to slow dance with
Pillow talk
Grab ass at the kitchen sink
Wild flowers for no reason
Projects around the house
Reading while he watches the game
Looks across a crowded room
Packing his lunch
Sunday morning breakfasts
Weed wacking , I dislike weed wacking
Driving for 100’s of miles without having to say a word
Sharing good news and bad
Him laughing at my imperfections
Forking and spooning
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 85
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/14/2011 6:56:26 PM
thank you to everyone who shared on this thread. so many poignant memories and thoughts.

the thing that strikes me as i read each of these is that we have all loved and been loved. do you realize that some never have experienced this in their lifetimes?!

and of course we all loved and lost in some way or another. some through death, some through divorce or breaking up. life changes constantly and life goes on.

one poster, a lady, glen..something
struck a chord, a happy chord, when she said she hoped we all had the chance to experience finding happiness with the person that is for us again.

and she also mentioned the softer side of posters showing through on here. that makes me smile. i realize that we all have had some pain, we all have some defenses, and have worked on healing. in the final analysis we all want to love and be loved again.

kaylee
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 86
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 12:22:47 AM
What I miss most, is waking up with someone. That's not the same as going to bed with someone. I hate waking up alone. I'm at the stage in my life where sex means little or nothing to me. Sex has always been the cause of every good relationship I have had, going bad. And you can't just go to bed with a friend. So, I really miss having someone there when I wake in the morning. But, hey, I'll get used to it, but I'll never like it.


JMO
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 87
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 5:35:21 AM
um...when I get a really good 2-for-1 coupon, LOL...there is not much I miss anymore about a partner, they say when you like being alone & stop looking, it happens...YIKES! I better get out my running shoes
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 88
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 2:31:17 PM
^^^^^^^ yes. I have one of those "Entertainment" books filled with 2 for 1 coupons. Now I hate that I can no longer use them. I certainly can't ask a woman for a date and use a coupon. That is tacky, even for me. I am the king of tacky!


JMO
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 89
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 2:50:00 PM
Putting together a puzzle - used to love to do them by myself; it was relaxing time in my head. Made the mistake of doing some puzzles (competitive puzzle play) with 'the love of my life'. Still can't do puzzles.

Sometimes driving a place I know so well that I don't really see it anymore and then, for whatever reason, my focus shifts so I see it with fresh eyes as if I'm showing it to/sharing it with someone special. Damn I hate when that happens.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 90
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 8:33:07 PM

yes. I have one of those "Entertainment" books filled with 2 for 1 coupons. Now I hate that I can no longer use them. I certainly can't ask a woman for a date and use a coupon. That is tacky, even for me. I am the king of tacky!


use them -tell her the coupon makes it possible to see her twice as much


 WesternRose
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 91
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 10:15:19 PM
Ditto Glenoran1,
I have a few more to add to the list.

1.) Arriving home form work during an unexpected thunderstorm, pulling into the driveway and having him come out with the umbrella to meet me when I get out of the car.

2.) Having a warm towel to dry me off with in the garage should I have gotten soaked if he was unable to do so.

3.) Always being able to share the what I want for you after I leave here thoughts with each other.

4.) All of the repair lessons so that I would be able to take care of things without having to call the specialists in.
 dd3va
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 92
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 10:24:50 PM
Someone to smile with.
 2Nice4ya
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 93
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/15/2011 11:36:32 PM
It do happen to most people though,,,thats why we have this site
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 94
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/16/2011 7:02:56 AM
i miss being beside him. cuddling. our legs intertwined together. watching a movie together. watching him smile. riding on trains together with him when he has someplace to go to. meet his granny.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 95
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:58:07 AM
^^^^^ Taoistic1, bitter-sweet it is, but it also highlights whether the person making the comments is remembering through a glass-half-full or -half-empty frame of mind, or just perhaps, they are remembering both (a balanced approach).

When a person studies for a test, 'last in is first remembered', because it's fresher. Same with a relationship. The ending, especially emotionally-charged as it usually is (be it a passing or a break-up), tends to make it the part that is remembered most forcefully. It is good to remind oneself (or be reminded by threads such as this) of the good times that went before, especially if the relationship was a happy one -- all the little things that drew you close and kept you close.

It is a reaffirmation of the promises of happiness that are inherent in a good relationship. Whether those promises are broken later on is a moot point; thing is, they did exist, they were shared by the partners, and love was expressed and received in wonderful ways.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 96
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/16/2011 11:21:30 AM
After being widowed, i always felt sad around 5 pm, the time he would come for dinner. Even if he was working, he would stop by, give us all a hugs & kiss, & grab a bite to eat. Early mornings were hard, i always missed the sound of him puttering around the house, & how the house would smell of his shampoo & cologne even after he left.

Weekends were tough also, we used to go to Miami, South Beach, or the Hard Rock in Hollywood on weekends, and enjoy the big city.

Now that i am in a relationship, i do not take any of these things for granted!
Enjoy every little moment!
 singleous
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 97
what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/16/2011 11:36:32 AM
I miss having that person to come home to. When you've had a bad day, that you can call and just talk about anything but the bad and suddenly it doesn't matter anymore.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 98
What are some of the times you most miss a relationship-(not the obvious ones)
Posted: 10/16/2011 5:37:54 PM
Watching a Fabulously Beautiful Sunset...Or a Big, Bright Orange Full Moon rising...!!
......a l o n e.....

s i g h
 sschooly
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 99
What are some of the times you most miss a relationship-(not the obvious ones)
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:58:57 PM
I miss having someone around to just talk to. Even just the quirky, meaningless kind of conversation and knowing it's just that. Friends are good as a substitute though.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 100
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what are some of the times you most miss a relationship-not the obvious ones
Posted: 10/17/2011 4:02:02 AM
glenoran

i really appreciate your insight and ability to convey the messages.

your example

"last in is first remembered"

that is so true initially.

thankfully, my favorite, trusted healer, TIME, allows the good memories to resurface.

kaylee
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