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 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 26
Dating guys in the military...Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Agreed but the truth of the matter is the stats are exceedingly and alarmingly higher among military personnel. There have also been many more violent murders among the military here in my own back yard than in the entire local civilian population. Explain that one. Can you blame younger women for not wanting to date military personnel when its all over the local news?

My son in law, best friend from college, and many friends are all in the Army. Im all for them doing their job. In my opinion the government needs to be responsible and enforce counseling programs by making them mandatory for all soldiers.
 BigSpoon80
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 27
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 9:00:00 AM
People are trained to kill go through huge amounts stress then come home and have a hard time flipping the switch. That's no big shocker there. The military has just recently acknowledged PTSD it's going to take a while for them to figure out how to manage members returning from deployment.

How many people are in the military? How many military members commit murder? How many civilians are there? How many of them commit murder? Find that ratio for me then you can use that as a talking point.

Edit: It won't let me post again so I have to edit this post. That is a drop in the bucket compared to civilian murders per capita in any city/state you search. I'd love to continue this talk but we are going off topic for this thread. I'll do some research and try to start a thread this weekend in the off topic part of the forum. I'll send you a message when I post it so you can review my findings and post any findings you come across to substantiate your theory.
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 28
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 9:11:39 AM
Repeat I said violent murders-

Seymour Johnson, Cherry Point, Camp Lejeune, Fort Bragg, Pope, two Coast Guard stations, National Guard Stations, various camps and landing strips all within two hours- darlin' I'll let you do your own searches because its that creepy.
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 29
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 11:28:39 AM
I'm going to get past all the stereotypes and stigmas and beliefs and trends ( as some stereotypes sadly do have a reason for being there for any form of stereotype)

I think whether or not someone feels military men to date might have certain dispositions based on that career, I see two problems

- You are never home

- You probably don't make a ton of money

If you were gone nine months out of the year, but you were paid 2 million dollars a year, and you could leave your wife or gf behind in a nice cozy three story house, a new SUV, vacations anytime she wanted, she could eat at the best places, shop whenever she wanted, maybe could afford to travel to see you then how many women out there do you think would date a military man? How many women out there would date a military guy, drawbacks and all if he made 2 million a year?

I don't think it's rocket science. Most women I suspect will wait and wait long and wait far for a man who they think is handsome, has a good paying job, tons of spare cash, and pampers her.

My guess is most military guys, they just aren't good looking enough and have enough cash and the career track is not lucrative for most ( I suspect those who can seque into careers like medicine or being a pilot or politics will earn ok out of the service) to attract enough women for the implied drawbacks.

IMHO don't worry about the stigma, find a way to make 2 million a year and most of your dating woes will go away. You'll have to get a giant fence and giant water hose to keep your lawn clear of women trying to date you then.

Brad Pitt cheated on his wife with another woman. In public. Humiliated her. Left her. There are rumors that he also refuses to shower often and that on set his rank is tough for people to deal with. But how many women out there, including on POF, would line up to date a smelly rich as hell famous Brad Pitt? If you got enough going for you, drawbacks are roadbumps, not roadblocks.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 30
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 2:24:02 PM
carolann0308 ,

I hear you on that. The funny part about that pic is that that isn't my room. I took that pic in a buddy that joined after college, so it does reek of college dorm room. My room is very tidy. I'm prior service, so I know how to keep a room tidy and ready for inspection. :)
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 31
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 2:58:43 PM

Do they give out little patches for your uniform if you are a "good guy"?????


We call them medals.


Medals given in the military have nuttin to do with the man or woman being a "good person". In fact, medals are given for being a "good soldier" which at times are not one in the same. Maybe something that the OP is dealing with when dealing with females "out of the military"??????
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 32
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 9:30:44 PM
It would be nice if you can tell me which kind of job/occupation gives out patches for being a "good person".
 cinnarose
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 33
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:21:36 AM
I imagine people who want a serious relationship are concerned about getting involved with somone who is or stands a good chance of having to leave for long periods of time. The distance factor could very well have a bearing on the potential for developing a relationship.
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 34
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 11:38:46 AM
Being a military wife, husband, GF/BF is not easy and not for everyone but not all men and women are like some of the posters claim. If you date and go into a relationship with one that is active or a vet, you go in knowing PTSD is 100% likely in variant degrees and their personalities can be quite different.

My active Staff Sgt son-in-law has been in nine years and has PTSD but he does counseling and he channels his frustrations into activities that helps.

I was engaged to a man that was shot and killed. (I was young and before first marriage.) I dated another that went to Operation Desert Storm and came back a total jerk and refused help. So it depends on the person and if you can handle changes with someone active.

I actually like dating military or even just being friends with them. It's hard for me now due to my age. Most even Gunny Sgt's, CO's my age want younger.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 35
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:04:03 PM

Repeat I said violent murders-

Seymour Johnson, Cherry Point, Camp Lejeune, Fort Bragg, Pope, two Coast Guard stations, National Guard Stations, various camps and landing strips all within two hours- darlin' I'll let you do your own searches because its that creepy.


A few days ago at Ft. Stewart Ga.

Lovers, both returned from deployment, woman goes out, man stays in; 3 year old suffers injuries consistent with blunt force trauma..dies.

Second child this year, I believe, to die at the hands of a military person.
 mysta59
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 36
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 4:33:37 PM
And their problem is...!...I would welcome a military man I figure you gotta do what you gotta do and if you have chosen this as yr career well good for you its no different from me chosing my life path...
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 37
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:15:43 PM

Second child this year, I believe, to die at the hands of a military person.


How many military people are in the US? It was over 1 million a year ago.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 38
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:28:35 PM
Why does their total number mean anything?

I support the military, but I will NOT give them a break on their criminal actions.

Their war mentality stops, when they are not in a war zone.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 39
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:37:15 PM
Well my ex was in the military and deployed overseas for a year. ....... he'd already gotten out of the service years before we met. .... after some time dating, he started to show some excessive aggression and had anger control issues. ..... Because I hadn't known him before he was in the service I can't say if that's just how he fundamentally is or if it was time spent in service that made him that way. ......... I won't paint all ppl in the military with the same brush and perhaps wouldn't mind to date one again -- but I think I would also need to really keep an eye out for any red flags if I were in that boat again ~ JMO
 luvtolaugh12
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 40
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:43:38 PM
Well I was married to a marine and delt with deployments..from the inside it has a lot to do with u being oversea's. theres no chance in meeting you!! you seem very nice(my brother was in the army also)..But to be honest guys in the military jump in too quick and tend to be clingy...Most are jerks but not all..you all go through so much!! be proud..Girls who arent very stable and girls that are in there early 20's might not want a relationship..i lived on bases the divorce and cheating was ridiculous..you need to be concerned of girls that want to use you as welfare...take time to be alone and the right one will come along..It takes a strong woman to be with a guy in the military...keep in mind this might not be a bad thing...hang in there cutie!!!
 Katie2223
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 41
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:55:31 PM
Hi,

I was talking to a guy on this site 2 years ago who called himself Colonel Billy D. Farris. He sent me pics of himself. He talked of military life in Afganistan. We were speaking for about 2 weeks. He said he was falling for me and I found myself falling for him. He told me he was retiring from his military career and coming to Australia with his children. I knew nothing about military life so I decided to research him and military life. This is when I stumbled across a website about Nigerian Military Dating Scam. I have since found out that Colonel Billy D. Farris is an actual very decorated soldier BUT I was not actually speaking to him. I had been speaking to a scammer. There are pages and pages of ladies and even men who have been scammed by these SOBS. Many were scammed out of money and had their hearts ripped apart. So, its not you. They are still scamming but dont pose as military guys and women. Good Luck.
 BlueEyedGirl05
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 42
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 1:17:20 AM
My heart goes out to men in the milatary. I have found quite the opposite of the stigma is true. Most military men I have encountered have been gentlemen who are ready to find a good girl. A few of my good guy friends from school are former Marines and I have personally witnessed all the heartache they've been through from their significant others cheating on them while they were deployed or just straight up leaving them because they can not deal with their PTSD. I have never been in a LTR with a military man but I wouldn't completely be against the idea. People on here and in life think that relationships are rainbows and butterflies but truth be told they require a lot of work.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 43
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:56:08 AM

It would be nice if you can tell me which kind of job/occupation gives out patches for being a "good person".


The "good person patch" was a tongue in cheek comment because the OP believes he is a "good person" but he is also in the military,and I wanted to see if they actually gave out those "good person" patches,so that we on the outside looking in,could know the difference. They don't,despite what some believe medals represent.

You see, some jobs that we take as a person, and then become very good at them, are not always the right mix and match to be in a relationship. To do some jobs you MUST have certain qualities, certain abilities,etc to do your job efficiently. These qualities,abilities,etc are not always so easy to "turn off" when you leave the job.(not just military here). And if you can't turn em off, sometimes they are a major conflict in your personal life,especially when dealing with another,one of whom you spend a lot of time with.

About as simple as I can make it without hurting anyone's feelings or national pride.
 sexyazzkay
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 44
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 8:02:17 AM
Mmmmm, yummy! I love military men! My ex husband was in the army when we married. Its something about the uniform & the attitude. That's a real man there!
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 45
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:01:39 AM
Walts ,

I don't need to have a "good person" patch to show that I'm a respectable guy. I'm happy with the ones I have right now. Where I'm at, the screaming eagle patch is what makes me stand out to everyone. They are my brothers, and my sisters. It doesn't mean that I will be a a-hole to people, not that I won't be fair to anyone. I joined the services for a reason, and really, I don't give a damn if some chick or someone thinks I'm a douche for being in it. I have seen my shared of jacked up things go on, and a lot of it is sad. Even then, I will not let that change who I am inside, nor my personality. I feel bad for the gals that have had issues with my brothers in arms, but just because you've gone through hell with a military guy, doesn't mean all of us are god-awful, angry monsters. Not all of us have PTSD, nor come back home with it. Not ALL of us are killers, nor only in the infantry like some people think. I'm in an aviation support unit, and work with medics more often then not. I get to go on med chases from time to time and help the docs out. I went home on leave 5 month ago, and had a blast being with my family and friends, hell, I went on a date with an ex-co woker and we had a great time. Not one time did I go off on her, nor spazzed out because I had a flashback of something that happened in the field. I treated her with the respect and dignity she deserved. If that makes me look like a bad person, or just because I'm gone for a year doing what I'm supposed to be doing, then I guess I'm a bad person, so be it.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 46
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:26:57 AM
luvtolaugh12 ,

Thanks for the compliment, and the support. :) I totally agree with you on being overseas is hard(I'm overseas at the moment), but I think it also depends on the ability of the significant other to bear with it. I have a buddy here who's wife is in Ft. Campbell, just waiting for him to get back. They talk everynight, so at least there is communication. I'm in an aviation unit, so it's a bit easier to keep in touch with loved ones and friends compared to being in an infantry unit. I will somewhat agree with what you said about military guys jumping in too quickly and getting clingy, but from what i've seen, it's mostly the younger ones that do that more often. I'm very reserved, and like to take things slower. I've gotten off a real bad relationship before deploying, so i'm more wary about getting shafted again by a woman. As for the age range I look for, I like dating women 23 and older. 19, 20, and 21 years olds are too immature for the most part, and seem to either want a sugar daddy, or don't know what they want. Then again, I've dated women my age and older that sadly didn't have a clue what they wanted, and ended up hooking up with some younger d-bag in the end, just to complain about it and wonder where all the "good guys" have gone. I've got cheated on by a couple of ex gf's and my ex fiance, and It's something I don't want to go through again. At the moment, i'm just drifting and hopefully, I'll find a woman that wants to settle down, and know what she wants, someone who can take a year without seeing me, but enjoy the one I'm back with her. Time will tell. Thanks again for the complient and the support.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 47
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 12:30:13 PM

just because I'm gone for a year doing what I'm supposed to be doing, then I guess I'm a bad person, so be it.


Ummmm, you have been here from the start, and I have yet to call you a "bad person". What my tongue in cheek comment about the patch of a "good person" had everything to do with you complaining(yeah that was you) about how women treat men in the military.(for your info, I WISH there was one of those "good guys" patches that some of us could wear) You are not any different than any other man that gets treated the way we do because of the actions of those before us. Just because you are in the "military",,,,do NOT expect anything different.
Though some love the "uniform", you and I both know that the "uniform" does not make the man. The MAN, himself, makes the uniform,,,,correct????? Like I said before, if you want to change the perception of the men in uniform, you have the chance. Get at er!!!!!
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 48
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 12:52:59 PM
Walts,

Sorry about that. I didn't mean to aim the whole darn paragraph at ya. I did complain about the way some gals are, but in the end, I just wanted to get some input into how females feel about a man in uniform. I don't agree with the ones that have had bad experiences, but in the end, they got with the wrong person, and that is that. Anyway, my apologies for a tirade that wasn't meant for you. It's been a very hot, and hectic day here in the front, so I'm just glad the day is over with. BTW, the MAN makes the uniform, by what he does and exemplifies. They always tell us that even when we go out to have fun that we are soldiers 24/7, and to lead by example. Sadly, some people can't do that and act dumb and make the rest of us look like crud. At the same time, to each their own. I'm out here because I chose to, and am aware that I might not make it back. For as much as I'd like to be with someone, at the same time, I realize that in my line of work, it's better being single than have someone worry about me or even better, worry about where my $$$ is going if something bad happens.
 rkb16901
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 49
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 3:30:03 PM
Not sure if I am speaking for some of the woman on here but so far I have had contact with a few men who siad they were in the Military and it just happened that they were scammers who had hacked into someones accts and used the pics and info they could... Reason I knew was that I have some family embers in the Military and know how the R & R leave works and who pays for it ... They had asked for money to bring them home on leave and for a fact I know that the military pays for the militarys R&R leave to Home base and back to where hey are deployed.. They are very evasive when you start asking questions and get very nasty when you say no to anything that has to do with not sending money..then you never hear from them..
 CASID
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 50
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:09:11 PM
Unfortunately I must agree with Jake190 regarding one bad military experience ruining it for all. Personally I have generally stayed away from military men because being away from someone during a relationship is hard and deployments are long. I think I was lucky in my situation, the guy I dated was an Office and a state-side recruiter. However, just because you are an officer, does not mean you are a gentlemen. I know that I would have grown to really enjoy most aspects of his military lifestyle. Sadly I broke up with him because he ended up being just another guy who is a jerk. You might want to bring out your background slowly, but definitely make sure you are always a gentlemen and treat women with respect.
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