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 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 126
Dating guys in the military...Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Aqua..

I have a hunch that you have had bad luck with men regardless of if they are/were military or not. Maybe consider your picker is broken otherwise you will likely see the same results again regardless of not being military. lol go ahead find someone just like the last one only not military.. don't be surprised that it ends just like the last on only he isn't military.

trekker


How exactly does this make an individual a good partner or father? How does getting killed in Iraq help be a good father stateside?


I have a great father who is a veteran. Still together with my mom. My uncles apart from one of them are all veterans as well. Being career active duty is not for everyone. I can vouch for the fact that starting off with good parents then being in for a few years can really make a good man.

Iraq, Iraq.. blah blah.. We are not there in a combat role anymore. Also the majority of military guys are not lifers. Many serve a few years, get experience then get out, go to college on uncle sam and have kids after college. Experience, education and no student loans = a real man who can provide for his family. You are picking specific contexts and attempting to apply them as the end all be all for everyone.
 twink1971
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 127
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/4/2012 8:29:31 AM
I actually spent 7 months chatting with a guy who was in the military we met online while he was deployed...I respect military men..however this guy turned out to be the biggest jerk in the world. Now to answer your question would I meet another military man....Yes. I think what you are doing is great and I have total respect for you and what you are doing for us who are at home. ;)
 meagant
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 128
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/4/2012 12:27:17 PM
Do you know what I find? Some guys pretend they are in Military and are deployed, not saying you are. But they lead you on and build you up and then prey on you... That's what I don't understand.....
 netimenewhere
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 129
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/5/2012 3:55:57 PM
Ok, I was Navy and will say that ive seen the worst of both men and women as far as disrespect and cheating goes. Women whom use military guys for visa or home grown US women whom use them for there pay check and have the BF's move in as soon as the men deploy. As well as women whom slept with entire divisions or units or men whom hoe it up in every port with wives and kids at home.

But what baffles me is the fact someone would put a stereo type on the miltary. The people whom join are picked out of society and the military has all of the same issues as any city. As the same mixture of people are are simply put together. "the good- the bad -the ugly" and much more.

But you have those people in all walks of life we didnt suddenly pick them all out and say here a unform and a gun.
the ignorance of stereotypes are baffling to me. Grow up and look inward to figure out why you attract those individuals or at least how to spot that mentallity.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 130
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/6/2012 9:06:26 AM

But what baffles me is the fact someone would put a stereo type on the miltary. The people whom join are picked out of society and the military has all of the same issues as any city. As the same mixture of people are are simply put together. "the good- the bad -the ugly" and much more


You just knocked that one out of the park like a home run king on steroids..

"all of the same issues as any city"... Is dead on. Back in my Military Police days we trained with various PD's from many towns around NY state, sometimes FBI etc. Course like Police Mountain bike.. what ever.. When we were hanging out and talking shop we realized that the careers and work day clothing of the populations we policed were really the only difference.

Habs "You know, I am saving the country ;)" coming from the Air Force guy is hilarious to an Army guy. Unless he is one of the PJ's being in the Air Force is a lot like band camp.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 131
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History
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/6/2012 1:38:31 PM
I'm not spending my life waiting for a guy to come home. I'm either top priority or no relationship. Period. That means holding me when I need him.
 foxiemoxie
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 132
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/9/2012 4:07:45 PM
I dated a guy in the Military, he was the first man in the military that I dated. My dad was a Marine and he was an honest man . The man I dated said he was British SAS, he talked about being honorable and upholding honest. He turned out to be the biggest liar of all. I would really have to think twice about military. I think some of the comment about how they are pigs might be true. He certainly was, why not be honest. We are not 20 but in our 50's.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 133
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/9/2012 4:44:46 PM
Like I said.. Veterans are great.. All the qualities of a solider, but he's home for good. And generally they are done with all that unfaithfulness and ready to meet someone.

Can't really blame a single active duty military guy for not settling, exp during war time.... I mean.. they don't know if they have a tomorrow.. I wouldn't be able to think about anything long-term or permanent either if I had to face that reality everyday..

<3 them!
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 134
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/24/2012 11:03:08 PM
I still am perplexed at the fact that some stigmatize people in the military as cheaters, mentally unstable, and have no honor in a mean and viscious way. Ask yourself this, if you dated a lawyer and he cheated on you, would you not date lawyers after that on those premises and actions of one person and assume all lawyers are cheats with no honor? People don't see the real side of our men and women in uniform, they just see all the destruction and automatically pin blame on us. They don't see us building schools, handing out candy and school supplies to children, and medically treating civilians who have never been to a doctor in their lives.

As far as cheating, I believe (know) more wives of military men have cheated while they were away than the men serving abroad have done. FACT!! It's bittersweet. You survived and made it home, but you are getting a divorce.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 135
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/25/2012 6:30:04 AM
Very true. I think they are scum.. and I don't care the "reason" they cheated. No one should, but i think it's worse when a military spouse does. I just know a lot of active military and they tell me of all the cheating that goes on at the bases... "of course the speaker is always innocent" lol.

I do think you are right about another point too.. That they don't see the good they do, only the destruction that goes on. Blame that on the government and the media, that's all they show and tell us.. I think the "mentally unstable" thing come from the after affects of soldiers who come home from a war zone. Most of them do not escape unscathed and they have some problems.. I think they are more deserving of love and happiness then the average joe, but sometimes those problems are much harder to deal with then you would hope.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 136
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/25/2012 9:25:36 AM
Much of that has to do with the media entertaining rather than informing.

Example.

More air time has been given to talking about what Petraus did with his wiener than figuring out what really happened there.

Does not matter what vocation, life style or what part of the political spectrum someone is at. We are all human and you can find the same kind of problems because of that.
 _lalama_
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 137
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/25/2012 11:37:33 AM
most of the women on this site haven't been a member of our military. they don't understand that it's a way of life, not just a career choice. as a former member of the usaf, i enjoy men in uniform.

sure, there are some jerks in the military. there are lots of jerks in the civilian world as well. most of them don't own guns and the training to use them properly.

a lot of the women also think about what could happen in deployment. i lost my fiance to a roadside ambush.
 Runnergirl79
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 138
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/25/2012 2:20:09 PM
Many women are attracted to a man in the military. I don't think that is the problem. Some people do want the immediacy of the date and some people are fearful of the lifestyle, but speaking as a military widow and a mom to 4 children in the military, I loved the travel, opportunities, and the lifestyle so much that I continue to work for the military. Good luck.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 139
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/25/2012 6:12:21 PM
I've just completed 23 years in the Canadian Forces. I've been told by one guy that he wouldn't date military women because we are all sluts.

Every segment of society has different stereotypes applied to it. You have good and bad people as well.

If someone is not interested in you for whatever reason, no need to lose any sleep over it, move along; nothing to see here.
 styrofoamheart
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 140
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/30/2012 3:03:13 PM
Depends on the guy. I was married to someone in the military and am now divorced. I have a lot of friends who are married to military men, they just got lucky to have found the good guys in the military.
 Socalguy1962
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 141
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History
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/30/2012 3:35:04 PM
The military is and always has been a microcosm of society. You'll find all kinds of people in the military, good and bad.

On the other hand there are many women out there who are "tag chasers", will go after a military man for the benefits, especially the medical.

Just have to be careful, just like with anyone else.
 dmisty1
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 142
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 11/30/2012 5:21:21 PM
I don't think you're a jerk nor do i think any of the ladies think any man in the military is a jerk. As far as because you're deployed, maybe it is because you are not there to get to know the individual, don't quote me, i am very new to the site. I'm just saying. But by all means i"m sure it has nothing to do with thinking anyone is
a jerk. Be safe on your Journey, May God Bless you All~!~!
 pinkmittens
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 143
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/2/2012 9:17:22 PM
Ive heard of the stories of military women "servicing" more then just their country while on deployments.

too much drama.
 Lhk740
Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 144
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/3/2012 10:17:23 AM
I think it has to do with you being deployed. If you get stationed in a military town (such as here in colorado springs) there are a ton of women who ONLY date military men. Now granted most of them are just in it to get the benefits and use you, but there's definitely a lot of interest. I get turned down a lot because the girls only want a military dude.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 145
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:08:16 PM
I just messaged a woman and the initial reply was positive. On the second message she asked if I was in the military because on my profile I put something to the matter that I have done some extensive travel on the governments dime. I replied that I was in the Marines, and an Afghanistan and Iraq vet, and out of that scene never to return. No message back and blocked just because of a simple answer. I can say being a veteran is the biggest hurdle for me in the dating world. I thought (still do) I was doing something positive for the people of this nation and of those abroad, but never in my wildest imagination that I thought it would hurt my social life. I feel that I am being judged more harshly than a person who has cheated, and my loyalty and honor is always questioned. This is not the only time; it is a common trend now for me.

It is bittersweet seeing the people (most who have never served) in the streets cheering when Bin Laden was taken out, yet in society our veterans are being treated by crap. I remember coming home and going to a supermarket in San Diego; when I got out there was a note on my car that read, "thanks for serving for a lie!" They only knew because of the DoD decal on my car. I have done a lot for the community that I live in, in San Diego. I spent at least a couple grand of my deployment money on blankets for the homeless (which most in SD are veterans), then I go abroad to eradicate an oppressive enemy, build schools and shops, food and medical aid to providing security. There are many Americans who haven't lifted a finger to do something to better their community or country. People need to stop judging us negatively and realize that being in the military is not our whole life.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 146
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/23/2012 12:09:47 AM
I apprieciate happy Single Spirits viewpoint. And I certianly don't intent to change her mind, she's entitled to her views however offensive i may find them. I sure my viewpoint is flawed, as my father was a sergant major in the u.s. airforce and we grew up military and it take a certian kind of sacrifice, heroism, and love of all country ,and honor, that isn't quite definabale, unless you live it. The only thing i can say to those who blame military police and the like for violence in the world, if you were the direct subject of such trauma, you would be the first to call on the legal , police, military system to come save you. The greatest souls are seared with the deepest scars. Give thanks and grace each day you will not have to know what that means.
 bajason591
Joined: 9/17/2012
Msg: 147
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/23/2012 9:44:09 AM
faith....


while i can appreciate your trying to be honest here... i am disturbed and yeah i kinda take it personally what you said. i agree with the original poster here with that there are a lot of people that hop from girl to girl etc... however there are a lot of good decent respectable men in the military. i think you have just a nack for choosing the wrong ones. i am in the military. 6 years so far. i dont treat women like this. nor do most people i hang around... so your percentages here are extremely skewed jjust from your unfortunate personal experiences. just saying. all i am here for is good quality time with someone who i can have a freakin conversation with... that doesnt just wanna go out and get drunk or whatever. you know all the women on here talk like guys are insane always sending unsoicited nude pics... and yeah thats bad but.... i think you ladies go unnoticed because the crazies of you are are out there... we dont make it our entire profile or judge the rest of the female population from a few sour dates or idiots we happen to run accross online.
 P0ETFURY
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 148
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 12/24/2012 4:34:39 PM
Being a Vet myself I'd like to share a perspective on this subject. I've seen a few women say that their problem with military men is they treat women like trash. When you come back from multiple deployments and every tme a few guys in the unit get robbed blind by their supposed faithful wives you get to the point where all women seem to be like that. My unit had something like a 40% divource rate after our 6th deployment. I've watched friends with tears in their eyes as they explained they could'nt afford a haircut because the wife emptied their house and account. I'm no head shrink but I'd say military men that treat women like crap are doing it as a defensive strike, hurt her first before I get hurt kinda thing.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 149
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 7/27/2013 3:52:28 AM

I just messaged a woman and the initial reply was positive. On the second message she asked if I was in the military because on my profile I put something to the matter that I have done some extensive travel on the governments dime. I replied that I was in the Marines, and an Afghanistan and Iraq vet, and out of that scene never to return. No message back and blocked just because of a simple answer. I can say being a veteran is the biggest hurdle for me in the dating world. I thought (still do) I was doing something positive for the people of this nation and of those abroad, but never in my wildest imagination that I thought it would hurt my social life. I feel that I am being judged more harshly than a person who has cheated, and my loyalty and honor is always questioned. This is not the only time; it is a common trend now for me.


I had the same issue many times. I mean, I did 2 deployments to Afghanistan, worked my ass off, finally busted myself up by falling off a trailer while pushing some toughboxes off it, and busting up my right legs, and hurting my back. Did a total of 4 years and a half. I had a blast while I was there and have some very close friends still in. i'm starting school in Sept. I had a gf the last deployment, and she was screwing someone else while I was gone. Luckily, we didn't live together, so it was easier to get rid of her. The ironic thing was that she was screwing some hipster, wanna-be hippy d-bag. Can't stand hipsters or yuppies. lol Aside from that, met many gals, yet only spoke to two once they found out I was a vet. A couple did want to hook up for benefits, but hell no! lol


It is bittersweet seeing the people (most who have never served) in the streets cheering when Bin Laden was taken out, yet in society our veterans are being treated by crap. I remember coming home and going to a supermarket in San Diego; when I got out there was a note on my car that read, "thanks for serving for a lie!" They only knew because of the DoD decal on my car. I have done a lot for the community that I live in, in San Diego. I spent at least a couple grand of my deployment money on blankets for the homeless (which most in SD are veterans), then I go abroad to eradicate an oppressive enemy, build schools and shops, food and medical aid to providing security. There are many Americans who haven't lifted a finger to do something to better their community or country. People need to stop judging us negatively and realize that being in the military is not our whole life.


That is why I have a big disdain towards hipsters. I had a couple of hipster chicks call me and a fellow marine coming home to L.A. for R&R "babykillers". I told one of them to have fun taking care of her pothead bf without a job, at least I have one. lol They got mad and left. A couple of days later, I had one come up to me on a train going to Pasadena and started to talk about what a "bad" person I was for fighting in Afghanistan. well, he almost got his face beaten in, not because I wanted to be a**** but because****eads like him don't know what is like to lose a friend in battle. They don't know how messed up it is to try and help someone whose legs have been blown off. They don't know how messed up one gets when you are rushing an Afghan child who was hit by shrapnel after one of his own countrymen decided to blow themselves up in a busy bazaar. None of the people who wrote negative about the military on this topic know shit!!! All I saw was meaningless hipster banter. If ya'll want to go help all nations, then create a multinational utopia. Other than that, there are such organizations like NATO, the UN, and ISAF, who are many nations fighting in that country, and many others. that guy that kept saying that the military is all about national pride, you are wrong dude! None of the time I have done, from Basic training, on to the time I left have pushed God Bless America, We are the U.S., we are the shit! type of attitudes upon any of us. We volunteered, did our jobs, and came back and worked some more. Whoever thinks that all jobs in the military=killing, are morons.
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 150
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 7/27/2013 7:45:16 AM
Thank you for you service! As a veteran and former military spouse, I would not have a problem dating a military man. But with that being said it takes a very special person to be able to put up with long deployments, separations and all the other commitments that military life has. Do not react to the negativity and ignorance that some espouse about your career. People have their preferences and prejudices. I think the military is just a microcosm of the whole world and you will find both good and bad people serving just as in any other job . But please understand that your job does come with significantly higher risks than most (i.e. mortality, PTSD, etc.) Some people can handle it and some cannot. What about dating a military woman? Are they not good enough for you? At least they have some understanding of the military life and risks involved. You may get lucky and find that diamond in the rough disguised as a lump of coal. (or in this instance , perhaps camouflage and helmet hair......:D) Good luck!
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