Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 musicmaker003
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with MoralsPage 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I disagree. So does wearing a bikini at the beach tell a guy you want to sleep with him? Tell me what the difference is between what you wear at the beach and what you wear in the streets? Location. That's it! If she wore what she is wearing in her pictures at the beach people would think she was crazy and had too many clothes on and if she did the opposite people would think she was a slut for walking the streets in her bikini. It is the mentality of the man who ASSUMES she is willing to lay down for him because she is showing cleavage or her ass. This is the only country were showing skin is grounds for rape and other male atrocities! Men will be men no matter what we wear. Some think girls with tight jeans is an invitation or ball gown. Like is said it's the mentality of the man. They'd probably hump a dog if she looked appealing enough.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 118
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/21/2011 8:44:52 PM

all i stated was that your claim that "NO ONE is that good at concealing intentions" is bogus.

You also said nothing to support your belief.

why a girl would choose to refrain from sex to avoid the possibility of being misled). God forbid a girl might want to take precautions to avoid being in such a situation.

Living involves taking risks to get what you want. Smarter people make better judgments faster.

you think your intuition is just that great, huh?

It seems to be.

and everyone else is just plain credulous, right?

If you think you're easily deceived then at least your intuition is not very good.

and it doesn't mean you couldn't be equally fooled by such a person if you ever were to come across one. you don't know, because you have (most likely) never been in such a situation.

But, I have. You're just ranting because you want to excuse poor judgment.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 119
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/21/2011 9:07:50 PM
The problem is also that the exposure potential is cumulative, in that each non-exposure encounter doesn't offset an exposure encounter...

Yu're nothing but a slogan collectr. All that matters is whether a partner is infected or not infected. The rest of your crap is just obfuscation and meaningless jargon.
Unfortunately, as soon as you include 'assume ' in your criteria, your math goes out the window..

No, it doesn't, because the assumptions I made were only to provide a concrete example. It works the same way no matter how you distribute the sexual contacts. Before you start discussing math, you need to learn a little math.
 1776or1984
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 120
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/22/2011 12:06:16 AM
Well jco415 and abelian are both good sports. I do apologize for the barbs but it is hard to resist when you guys leave yourselves wide open with those commments. : )

And I should just stay out of this, hibirdie and m church have pretty much wiped the floor with their opponents!

m church, I agree assumptions aren't exact science but if you are to explain a therory, one must use some sort of numbers. Scientist friends joke about some of the work they do as being nearly useless until they get out into the field and "tag and release" workers. Slap a meter on them and see where they go, what they do, and what exposures they really have.

Isn't the internet wonderful? I've never looked up info on std before but a quick search said that Chlamydia is present in 4.5% of the population and HIV infection rates from a female's perspective is around 1 in 500 to 1 in 1000. And here is a website with statistics including the states with the most std cases, it even breaks std increase and decrease by year and even by race.

http://www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm

Here is another site with actual infection probabilities

http://www.malehealthcenter.com/c_std.html


Bottom line is that if man A has slept with one woman in the last year and man B has slept with 50, then a woman can estimate the risk of infection using the statistics in the above links. But does anyone really want to do the math? It should be obvious that promiscous people have more chances to get infected since they are most likely sleeping with other promiscous people. And most of these std varieties have a period where symptoms are not showing, there are even statistics giving the odds of infection using a comdom against the odds with no protection. You've said this already, that there is no knowing if someone is infected or not.


So you really can not be "careful".

Strangely enough, perhaps a woman is better off statistically getting tricked by a sexual predator that tends to prey on women with morals? Perhaps their prey would be less likely to be infected. How awful!

Still if Jill sleeps with Dan, and Dan has slept with 50 women, who have slept with 50 men, we have 50 x 50 or 2500 potential infection SOURCES on the second layer. If the 50 men had slept with 50 other women weh have 50 x 50 x 50 or 125,000 potential infection SOURCES. That is the weak link that m church pointed out.

If Beth sleeps with Bill, and Bill has had three partners who have each had three partners, then we have 3 x 3 or 9 potential infection SOURCES. The next layer would be 27 potential infection SOURCES.

So if one cannot know that someone is infected, and if the chances of getting infected rise with the promiscuity of one or more of the individuals having sex (let's hope it is just two! I can't figure the orgy odds!) then whether promiscous people use "intuition", "HOPE", or arebeing "selective", they still increase their odds. In the end it is just a numbers game, just like those guys that message hundreds of women a week. All they have to do is get one good response to "win". All a promiscous person has to do is be unlucky once and antibiotics isn't going to help.

But, we should agree to disagree on this topic. Let people make up their own mind if risks increase when sleeping with promiscous people.
 1776or1984
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 121
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/22/2011 12:20:24 AM
[Unfortunately, as soon as you include 'assume ' in your criteria, your math goes out the window..

No, it doesn't, because the assumptions I made were only to provide a concrete example. It works the same way no matter how you distribute the sexual contacts. Before you start discussing math, you need to learn a little math. ]

Sigh....
Abelian,

m church was actually quoting something that I originally wrote and he had a valid point. Your defending that quote that I made! That said, you did point out that I was illustrating a concrete example.

You need all the help you can get in this debate so you might consider not knocking your suporters in the head.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 122
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/22/2011 2:35:40 AM
That said, you did point out that I was illustrating a concrete example.

No, I was pointing out that I provided a concrete example.

Still if Jill sleeps with Dan, and Dan has slept with 50 women, who have slept with 50 men, we have 50 x 50 or 2500 potential infection SOURCES on the second layer. If the 50 men had slept with 50 other women weh have 50 x 50 x 50 or 125,000 potential infection SOURCES. That is the weak link that m church pointed out.

Appaently, you don't grasp the example either.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 124
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/23/2011 12:27:57 PM
^^ what about women who want that? let's not be totally sexist here & pretend that men are all "one way" & women are 'the opposite' ?

females today are much more sexually liberated & demanding, it is more common for them to 'demand' sex from dates or b/f's and the guy to decline
 PurposedWomen
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 125
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/23/2011 4:27:47 PM
Thanks for the response, because I was wondering what is going on with men today. It seems they want to have sex and make out as soon as they meet you. Then they try make you feel like you have problem if say HECK NAW!
 PurposedWomen
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 126
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/23/2011 4:30:44 PM
I wish it was as easy as reading the profile : -) Maybe, I should start making announcement we can meet, but PLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE NO SEX. It is funny because there is nothing in my profile that reads I want to sleep and make out with you on a first date.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 127
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/23/2011 5:31:24 PM

I have a buddy who has complained about that for the last couple of years. He's a great guy, retired early with money and property. He's got the looks and the personality. He has turned a few down already because he simply felt that if they'd boink him on the first date, they'd probably done it with numerous other guys and he's not desperate enough to just fcuk them simply because they're available...


I wanted to comment on this earlier Mr. Church? If I may? At our age, if one was to meet someone whom you say is handsome with a lot on the ball, perhaps ladies do wish to offer up their "goods" so to speak. It doesn't necessarily mean they do it for all? And I guess I don't mean boink on first date but hint at it down the road? God, dating is so much more difficult now than it was way back then! lol...I just think your friend, should he meet someone he thinks he likes, and if she is willing, hold her off and then make a move? He could be passing up someone really great? jmho
 BigJ_78
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 128
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/24/2011 4:21:46 AM
I think the debate on this topic is somewhat misguided, as it relates to POF, ...Online dating is a lot different than old -fashioned dating..

A lot of times, when I meet a women from online, we will have talked for maybe a week or two, if not more, online, before we are able to schedule a meet.... in chat, on the phone and through texting..We've seen each others pics and have a good idea of what each others personalities are... I'm a highly sexual & flirtatious type of man, so usually the flirting and sexual talk gets ramped up to a fever pitch before we even meet...often, a few non-POF type pics are even exchanged, if you get what I'm saying, lol...

SO yeah, by the time we meet , both of us are pretty sexually charged, .....and sometimes, yes we wind up doing the deed that same night, because that "first date", really isnt even like a first date at that point, after all the time we've spent talking and getting each other worked up....
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 129
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/24/2011 5:51:57 AM

SO yeah, by the time we meet , both of us are pretty sexually charged, .....and sometimes, yes we wind up doing the deed that same night, because that "first date", really isnt even like a first date at that point, after all the time we've spent talking and getting each other worked up....

ok...so I think this describes the issue. Some on POF like to call the 1st date a "meet" (not to be confused with a date) & some think it's more than a 1st date. ...it's a blind date. Yes, you've seen their pics & hopefully talked some on the phone, but you really don't know each other. Unless you're ok with the idea that it's just going to be this one night of fun & games, you should probably take a little more time to get to know the person in real life. Otherwise you wake up one morning & have gone on 20 of these "dates" & still have 20 other guys or girls texting you the non-POF pics or you're in a quasi-relationship with someone you don't know & truthfully don't like all that much.

I believe in sex. It's important. It's important that you do it frequently & like you mean it. However...I do not want to do it with someone I don't know & I'm not sure I even like or want to see the next day. I also try to keep the sexting/virtual flirting to a minimum until I know I'm really attracted in person. There's nothing like sharing a few intimate moments via phone or text & then discovering this person is a no-go in real life. Wait a couple of dates & see what they're really made of & maybe we won't see the sad sack threads saying the person turned out to be married, psycho, or both.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 130
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/24/2011 6:22:00 AM

At our age, if one was to meet someone whom you say is handsome with a lot on the ball, perhaps ladies do wish to offer up their "goods" so to speak. It doesn't necessarily mean they do it for all? And I guess I don't mean boink on first date but hint at it down the road?


I have turned down sex from a woman I briefly met, and suffered the wrath of a crazy.
That was one of the reasons why I turned down the sex..my gut instinct told me.."wait, something isn't right here". I wasn't wrong.

And, I truly believe that if two sane, consent adults want to get it on after the first, third, sixth date..have at it. It does NOT reflect that someone is easy, someone is a tramp. Or that someone has low morals..it simply means that the two people connected.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 131
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/24/2011 10:14:18 AM

) Maybe, I should start making announcement we can meet, but PLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE NO SEX.


funny thing is, most women who make that pronouncement really early on.. WANT to get jiggy on the first date.

watch what they DO................ NOT what they SAY
 groovygirl69
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 132
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/26/2011 6:45:15 AM
Sure, lots of men can wait.
But why bother with those guys? They are the ones with the lower sex drives.

As far as connecting sex to morality I take issue with your language.
What makes a girl who has lots of sex a less moral person?
is she less honest because of it?
Less ethical?
Less loyal?
Less helpful?
Less charitable?
More mean spirited?
Less loving?

No, liking sex has no impact on my value as a person.

Not having sex a lot can be a value to YOU, but don't put your moral judgements of those of us who wish to have more sex than that.

It doesn't make us bad people, we are hurting no one.
And it certainly doesn't make you any better than me.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 133
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/26/2011 8:36:22 AM

Hahahaha You are so wrong. I have waited for sex... and I also like sex more than once a day and every day.... There have been times in my life when I was seeing and sleeping with 2 or 3 women in the same day.... Lower sex drive?????? LOL

Then you are apparently supporting her argument, since you weren't doing a lot of waiting. You seem to want to simultaneously brag about womanizing while demeaning women who are considerably less promiscuous than you like to depict yourself.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 134
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/26/2011 11:30:25 AM
No...
There have been time when I have waited...
And there were times when that was not applicable....

Basically, I think you just make it up as you go to suit some weird moral agenda you have.

I've never found a woman who couldn't be a great lover... It just takes a little time and effort...

Then your standard for greatness is the bottom rung. The most important part of sex has nothing to do with mechanical ``skills'' or something that can be learned.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/26/2011 6:30:09 PM
omigawd! she's got a 3rd screen name with an X in it AND she's back to the pics showing her boobs off!



[sarcasm on]yep, she really was willing to learn...[/sarcasm off]
 CnstrcnGuy
Joined: 1/29/2010
Msg: 141
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/27/2011 11:14:19 AM
If he's really into you he will wait......TRUST ME. if he needs it that bad and he has the option, he will get a booty call till your ready.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 143
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/27/2011 4:47:27 PM
now, now, JCO, don't you know that's "stalking" her and "following her every move"?



somehow i am not surprized that she doesn't realize what stalking really is...


make comments critisizing the question


i did.

you didn't like it. too freaking bad, eh?

as for not criticizing you... YOU are the one suggesting that other people don't have morals when they have sex on their timetable instead of the one you set for yourself. that's pretty damn critical AND hypocritical of you.

so what happened to not wanting your boss to see your profile with your boobs hanging out?

 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 144
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 10/1/2011 8:18:35 PM
ahhh...it's just developed a life of its own 'cause of the subject line. She has some sort of idea that she was overwhelmed by men wanting nothing but sex, but her original post said it was 2 (yes, TWO). Two does not equal an epidemic, especially when you have sexy pics on your profile.

OP...you're probably a nice person, but if you advertise sex then don't be surprised when someone asks for it. It's almost like a bait & switch...if you're really going the born-again virgin route.

The whole idea of "bed jumper" & "girl with morals" is very vague here. How do you determine which is which? Is there a formula to determine which type you are? I mean...I wanna know if I'm a bed jumper. I prefer monogamy & my sex with a relationship, but I'd by lying if I said I didn't get caught up in the moment once or twice. (ok...maybe a couple times more than that...I am 44 after all)

Egads...am I a bed jumper???
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 145
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 10/2/2011 2:50:34 PM
I have to say...some of the men in here say we have to have sex with them on the second date? Really? I will pay for my own dinner/drinks and keep myself to myself tyvm! I don't appreciate a man putting a "timeline" on when I am supposed to have sex with him. What an emotionally immature attitude. If two people meet and the connection is there, "charged" so to speak, whatever happens happens. I don't hold out the golden couchie so to speak, but will do if a man comes across with his demands....
 henley2011
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 146
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 10/4/2011 2:56:07 PM
I bet they stay in the health clinics. people have forgotten about std's. They think condoms protect them from everything but they don't. I laugh at men like that because i know that they will soon get an std or hiv for dealing with bed jumpers instead of women with morals.
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 147
view profile
History
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 5/15/2012 4:52:10 PM
I'm sure this discussion has been carried out since the time of the caveman. Look at any time in history and there have been women interested in enjoying their sexuality and others claiming they were immoral because of it. To me it comes down to you and what you want. Do you want to express yourself sexually with willing partners or do you want to wait for your right moment. The choice is yours and only yours and there is no wrong choice.
 randyfarmer
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 148
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:15:33 PM
I have looked at your profile and personally saw nothing that encouraged me to view you sexually. Your clothes were modest, username, well I agree with what you say. It wasn't dirty to read. I think at your age you just have to take guys with a grain of salt so to speak. The fact of the matter is this, there are less and less people willing to wait for intimacy. Love has less an less to do with sex and more and more sex is mostly about ones own gratification rather then to express love to another. I think it's great that you don't wanna guy for a "hump" and "dump". I think more people in this ole world should stand up for what they believe. Guys who want sex right now no exeptions are not interested in you they just want the afore mentioned gratification. Be strong, a girl with morals is sexy!!
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >