Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > duped by the years old head shot      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 20
duped by the years old head shotPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
My question was going to be the same as "buckeyes"...Did she really dupe you? Did she say at any given time she was thin or athletic or did you just imagine she was?
At any point...I do find that people in general have a warped body image of themselves...not all but a lot!
In my age range..I can't tell you the number of men with big bellys hanging over their belts or man boob shots or the inevitable...thin man....with the loose skin with no muscle tone whatsoever....list themselves as "athletic".
I found very early on...to meet as soon as possible before the "fantasy" in my head gets carried away....a few times, I have been impressed.
However, I feel no need to be rude to her.
If your intent was to meet someone you have a connection with...that is part of it.

Just have to say...I am sorry, I just don't feel us being a match and that is what I am looking for....it's too bad because you seem like a nice person.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 21
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/6/2011 12:41:43 PM
This is pretty common on dating sites - bait and switch !

I'd just tell her straight up - you can still be kind - but that's me.

I once met a fella, that I barely recognized in person - though there was a slight resemblance, and he was the only one that entered the park at the appointed time , who was the right gender .
He admitted that he's posted a picture of his SON !! Damn.
What was really sad , was that he was ok looking - but his attitude turned me off.

Expect the unexpected !

 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 23
view profile
History
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:32:33 PM

Just tell her you're not interested. No need to tell her she's too fat. She already knows that, which is why she didn't post a current photo.


One thing I learned about dealing with people..they know the obvious. It's like when people lie..they know when they are lying, you just have to look for the signs of that. The body language gives it away.

This lady knew she was not putting up a current picture, and put up the best she had, which is what you saw. She has her reasons. They aren't valid, but like Janet Always has said..she knows who she is, thus the reason why she put up that photo in the first place.

Just be honest. You don't have to be brutal, just plainly, and sincerely tell her she is not what you expected, and that you wish her well, but it is not going to work out between you two. Then deal with your crass workmates as need be.

Regardless, there is a human being there, who, for reasons known, put up a pic up that portrayed her in the best possible view. Unfortunately, that isn't here and now. She still has feelings and what good does it do to call her a "liar", "deceiver"..she knows that already.
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 24
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:45:25 PM
How about the truth? Might be something she'll recognize and be more honest the next time she dupes someone else. You owe her nothing. At face value, what did she expect? Man up,,, cut the ties and move on..
 thundergatti
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 26
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:40:32 PM
Well she only had one single photo, (red flag) I even thought to my self she had a skinny neck and face structure and at 5'5" estimated anywhere from 120 to 140, completely ok with that. Honestly I dont mind a lil junk in the trunk, but she was more around the 180 range when we meet. She went the "about average" body type description on her profile. It wasnt completely a weight issue either she looked a little run down to boot. And I'm pretty sure the photo was before she had her kid and was at least five years old, her child is 4.
So In a post date text I tried to tell her I might transfer within my company to Williamsport Pennsylvania, which is completely true (I have an interview friday). She started asking me if I was opposed to long distance. I said that was a no go. So she went the route of saying she would come with me!!! after one meeting, and even mentioned runing off to Vegas to get married!!! She says well can we at least try to see where it goes and cross that bridge when we come to it lol. So now I'm pretty sure she's nuts too. Desperation is a stinky cologne.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 27
view profile
History
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:57:57 PM
I think you have a stalker and it's time for a restraining order. Run like Usain Bolt (world's fastest man)!
 thundergatti
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 29
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/7/2011 5:03:43 PM
its all good, told her i wasnt interested, I will be much more discriminating before a meet from now on. lesson learned.
 worknovertime
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 33
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:38:24 PM
Yes... everyone seems to have a story...

I met a guy..his photos were full body...just not his.
He was 20 years older and 100lbs heavier (if it was even him in the pictures).

I took one look, told him I didn't like being lied to.
Turned and left.

Didn't sit down. Didn't hold a conversation. Didn't sugar coat anything.
Just left.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 34
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:46:48 PM

Average= overweight

Not always. I say average because I thought it was more true than saying thin or athletic.
 voschi
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 35
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/10/2011 5:58:27 PM
seriously..you owe her nothing other than saying "i'm not feeling it"

anything else is just a cheap parting shot on your part
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 36
view profile
History
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:58:42 PM
Luke I said same thing in earlier post about "prefer not to say". I agree with your more blunt take on this.
 ExploringLife2Gether
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 37
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:31:59 PM
I have taken photos of models (face pics only) and modified them to make it somewhat difficult to tell exactly who the person is but enough to say the person is good looking. Then I send it (private). I never post it for all to see. Only once did a woman comment that I didn't look like my picture. I told her that I was on vacation when it was taken and people always look different on vacation. We had sex the first night we met. Woman don't care who is in the photo. It's just a tool to eliminate unattractive people. If you are attractive (and I am), it doesn't matter if you send a fake photo and meet later. This way, you don't run into problems with the girl printing and sharing the photo with her girlfriends that you may have hooked up with before.
 bunnyBiotch
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 38
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:38:25 PM
Oh boy, I think just about everyone has gotten this at least once(heavy, bald, no teeth, man boobs, jail time, etc)... Learn from it and move on... You don't have to be mean and nasty about it, she already knows she's heavy(which is why she had one photo from years before), just tell her you're not interested and move onto the next...
 politebutfun
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 39
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:41:52 PM
If you're not interested, for whatever reason , It's best just to say so and move on. Actually her willingness to "run away and get married" or anything along those lines is the scariest part! If you were a close friend, I would advise you to RUN, not walk, away from this woman..NOW!!

We are not all beautiful (or handsome) in everyone elses eyes. It's perfectly Ok...and not rude if you're polite when you tell someone you enjoyed the coffee, or meal, or whatever but you just don't feel any chemistry.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 40
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:44:47 AM
Girls, girls, i'm young and i'm dumb, i'm right here, look no further. 22 years old, my pictures are teh same as me, come get me tiger Rawr!
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 41
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 12:41:36 PM
I can't tell you how many times I have gone to meet a man who says he is 5'10 and turns out to be shorter then myself.


People sometimes lie on here.It's not big shocker.Either do the polite thing and excuse yourself and just run for the bathroom and exit out the back way.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 42
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 12:42:07 PM
Been there, done that. Except I've never done it in the company of coworkers, they'll be busting your chops for awhile on that one.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 43
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 12:53:42 PM
Dude, your not being shallow. She misled you! That's not right, not fair! I think this is rather common, as I've heard of this before. It makes me recall a stand up comics line once was "I think people should include a copy of a recent newspaper with the date noticeable if possible to prove the time of the picture".
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 44
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 1:04:38 PM
^^^Then why bother adding to it?
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 45
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 1:16:43 PM
Thank you for actually having the balls to just go and talk to her even though she turned out differently. Are you really moving out of state, if not..that's a little douchebaggish. She sounds like a real winner if she is wanting to run away and get married, but I have a feeling she isn't being serious. Well, at least I hope she isn't. Was she unattractive BESIDES being 50 pounds heavier? Does she have a good personality at least?

This is why I always tell people that I am not "skinny minnie" before meeting. I don't want anyone to be suprised that I am "thick".
 earthboundangel67
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 46
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 1:40:26 PM
yep, had that happen ....more than once! I think if someone does this, and you truly arent interested , just say so. No need to lie in turn or make it a long , drawn out process. Nothing wrong with mentioning that their profile & pic didnt really match up. Dont need to be nasty about it either. One can always send more pics & full body photos privately... makes it easier to recognize the person when you are meeting. Or as some do after various experiences, and go on cam to chat before meeting. It can be very much like a blind date .... especially when people are less than honest in their profile.

I am one that believes in upfront & honest. Have it on my profile , multiple times, call a spade a spade. I am what & who I am. I hope to one day be able to put down a few extra pounds & eventually average....am a work in progress. Have current pics & full body , so no false advertising! Do have a couple of older pics, but not much difference , and they happen to be good pics.And, same as christy, I do mention it to any potential dates as well...just in case they havent gotten past the pics... lol. Usually when I do meet someone, they tend to say that I am much better in person.

Personality does count, but physical attraction is important too. To me, honesty is huge as well. If they lie about a few things online, and dont fess up before meeting....what else are they gonna say or do that isnt quite up to par. However, it is online, where pretty much anything goes. You always take your chances when you start chatting and plan to meet someone. I dont really get the lying thing, but apparently many like to do it. All I can say is good luck!
 Midnight_Whispers
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 47
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 4:57:51 PM
I love that one, take a pic holding your name first.. :) Thanks a fantastic Idea
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 48
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 7:59:40 PM
Why people lie and use old photos to try and be someone they are not is just crazy.


How about photos where they use effects or graphics in attempt to pretty up the picture, but winds up altering what they look like with some kind of haze or blurring, but they put pretty borders on the side of the pics. Or pics where they're peaking out from behind of door frame or tree, hiding the rest of them. And I at least would like to see a picture from mid-section or the waist up, not just a head shot.

A bigger trend is, a person would have 7 pictures up, all of them taken from above their heads, what's up with that? lol
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 49
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:06:03 PM
Be honest with her because she wasn't being honest with you. In fact, be brutally honest. You are not wrong for feeling what you are now feeling because you bragged to your friends and they ended up laughing at you. People who post pictures of themselves looking way different from what they now look like are perpetrating a fraud and they know it. Do they care? No. They think that if you actually got to know them, that you would forget this little lie.
 Luvincuddles
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 50
duped by the years old head shot
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:22:07 PM
A similar situation happened to me once, met a guy in a chat and we talked on the phone. He wanted to meet but I wasn't interested as I didnt like his personality but I didn't tell him that, I just said no..well over the next few months he would call me up and ask me to meet and always I would say no. He looked good in his pic but still not interested. Finally I agreed to meet him (after several months) and right away I knew he wasn't the guy in the pic and told him so.

He made excuses like he had put on weight and blah blah but he wasn't that big and the guy in the photo was buff..

Told him " for 1: you are a lot shorter than the guy in the pic and 2: your nose is a lot longer Pinocchio"
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > duped by the years old head shot