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 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 26
What Do You Consider Long DistancePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I live in Waterdown I'm willing to drive or take a train as long as it is anything that is not past Scarborough is Long distance on the East side, Anything farther than St Cat's is far on from the Hamilton side of things and anything farther than Kitchener on the North side of things.

Hamilton, Burlington, Oakville and Mississauga is very manageable for me. At least an hour tops anything more than that is pushing it.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 27
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/8/2011 4:40:45 AM
For me, the "local area" is anything within 30 to 45 minutes driving time. Beyond that, it starts to become an LDR; but even then, a lot depends on how much I care about the lady and how often I'm able to make the trip to where she lives. (If she has business or other reasons to come where I live now and then, that's even better. But I expect to be the one who does the traveling.)

In a few cases I have traveled far beyond the time/distance mentioned above. The woman I married lived over 90 minutes from my home; I made the trip as often as three times a week, and would have been willing to do it even more often. The woman immediately before her lived in a town well over two hours' driving time from me, although we usually met in a nearby (to her) city; I don't know if I would have been willing to do that very often just to see her, and after I met the lady I married I ended the longer-distance relationship. (Because of my feelings for the new lady, much more than the difference in distance.)

In general, the more I care about the woman, the farther I'm willing to travel and the more often I'm willing to make the trip. If the relationship became serious enough, I'd even consider moving to be closer to her, or at least arranging for us to be together longer when we are together.

But that's just me; you may see things differently.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 28
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/8/2011 4:50:07 AM


What Do You Consider Long Distance



Anything outside the reach of one's penis or arms.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 29
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/8/2011 7:58:48 AM
ten time zones, 14 countries away, one big ocean and two smaller seas, a different language and it is still closer than Jenny down the Block
 kycarguy2
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 30
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/8/2011 9:12:31 AM
I had a couple LDR's in the 90's..cross country at that.

I now see an LDR as over an hour away.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 31
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:11:45 PM
I agree w/ 'Consi....' #18....
No distance is Too far...IF...one is willing to relocate !
The problem being that very few other people even _Consider_ that !
I've flown 1,200 miles for a 10-day 'holiday' that only lasted 2-days...
I'd do it again...for a better 'potential mate'..!!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 32
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:24:02 PM
This actually depends on the person to some extent

Although I always said I would never ever under ANY circumstances do a LDR several years ago I ended up having several which were 100-160 miles each way

But I have also seen other people where going just 10 or 20 miles has felt like the biggest chore since time began

But if I absolutely HAD to put a distance on it then I would probably say anything that was more than say an hours drive was a long enough distance to consider. Not just because of the travelling aspect itself. But because it also limits how often and when you would be able to make time to see each other especially if both people work and have other commitments
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 33
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:41:24 PM

What Do You Consider Long Distance

If we're in the same room, yet world's apart? That's distance to me. Geographically speaking? If I can't get a flight with only one lay-over or preferably direct ~ I might think it's an issue. Otherwise? I'm a firm believer: Geography is a matter of location ~ distance? A matter of the heart. JMO
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 34
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/9/2011 2:58:06 PM
I consider 'Long-Distance' *Temporary*..!!
If two people can talk, find common likes and dislikes, attraction and chemistry...
they should be given the chance to make a wonderful relationship together..!!
The First thing, though...is to give the other person the Opportunity to communicate..!!
Just saying :"You're Too Far Away!" isn't very Fair..!!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 35
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 5:51:29 AM

I live in Waterdown... Hamilton, Burlington, Oakville and Mississauga is very manageable for me.


compared to most people posting here, you're pretty accommodating.



maybe it's a Canadian thing, given the size of our country?

when i started at UofT Mississauga and was living at home (Long Branch in Toronto), i dated classmates who lived in Oakville, Burlington and Guelph. maybe the fact that they were already driving 30 minutes to an hour to school made the distance seem short to them.


Gerald's Law is the scientific principle that the absolutely most perfect person for you that you meet on line is at least 200 miles away.




is that all? many moons ago when i was still living in Toronto, for about a year i dated someone who lived in Houston. and i'm afraid of flying. i'm not sure if it was the distance that sunk the relationship so much as his refusal to come to Canada in the winter, while i went to Texas in the summer. my idea of an optimal daytime temperature doesn't include 88F at 8:00 am with 80% humidity. but i was born and raised up near Hudson's Bay! i'm pretty sure his idea of an optimal daytime temperature didn't include anything with a negative value in it - Celsius or Fahrenheit! (he was born and bred near the Mexican border, it makes sense.)




you get wear and tear on a relationship that you dont get at 1000 miles, because you have the expectation that you wont see them but specific times


thanks... now i have no excuse to put off the person who lives 1,000 km away....

 MissNoWhere
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 36
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:39:24 AM
I honestly think it comes down to expectations and reality. If the reality is that you cannot travel and the other person cannot travel due to financial restraints, then the ldr will not work. I know I don't want a phone buddy - nor do I want a once a year see ya kind of thing. There are several things to take into consideration - time, distance, finances and the willingness to put forth the effort to see each other. There is webchatting, there are phone calls and of course southwest always has great domestic fight prices (if you plan ahead). So to me it's completely doable, but again only if both are willing to put in the effort.

While I am comfortable in my current position and have been with my employer for 8 years, I know I have the ability to move, my job is such that I can do it in a different industry in a different location. I love where I live and I love what I do, but I am also realistic enough to know that it's rare that you meet someone who fulfills you on every level. For that kind of relationship I would be willing to move, or maybe he would...

Perhaps I am a bit different though. I grew up in a military family. Before my Dad retired we moved every 2 to 4 years, so it's comfortable. While I feel settled here I still sometimes get those "itchy feet".

*grin*
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 37
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:54:29 AM
I hate to drive. 5 days a week I drive into Chicago to my job, trying to leave early as to avoid as much rush hour traffic as possble. After work its a 50 minute drive home in rush hour traffic. After work I'm tired, & appreciate it very much when one of my kids has dinner ready. Usually, I don't go out during the week, I'm tired & I have to get up the early the next morning for work. However, I have when dating someone, & they have come to my home during the week also. I would say if I have to drive any farther than 30-45 minutes at the most, it's too far for me. I can't relocate b/c I have a career that I can't have if I leave this partcular job. The internet makes the world so much smaller, if I did meet the right man, no matter how far away he was, if we really loved each other & wanted to be together, if he was willing to relocate, I would have no problem moving him in. My place is small but it would work.
 4everRadiant
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 38
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 7:59:49 AM
I'm currently dating someone who is about 90 minutes away. It's not easy but worth it because we click. Normally, driving beyond an hour would be too much for me because being in traffic can obviously be stressful. At this point we alternate who drives and, yes, due to schedules we can only see one another on the weekends, for now. We often talk during the week to fill in the gap.

In response to:

Put it this way, if George Clooney wanted to have a relationship with a woman here on POF who lived on the other coast, what do you think she would say? That it's too far? Or would she sit in a plane for 6-7 hours every other day to get to him and let him see the back of her head bobbing in his lap four times a week?


If George Clooney wanted a relationship I'd decline, and it's not because it would be too far, given his resources. Not all women are interested in a man simply because he's celebrity, considered attractive or has money. I wouldn't be interested in seeing him for a variety of reasons, and those reasons have absolutely nothing to do with distance. So no, I would not be sitting on a plane to get to him in order to "let him.... "
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 39
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 12:36:23 PM
There seems to be a couple of things being interwoven by responders.

The question as asked was, "what do you consider long distance," not "how far would you be willing to go to try to start something."

That's why the first answer (post 2) is so good. I might rephrase it slightly, such that if all of our meets have to be planned in advance, it's Long Distance. If we can call each other on the spur of the moment and get together, it isn't.

That has nothing to do with how much I am interested in them, or whether they are the female equivalent of George Cluny (my choice would be someone like Claire Danes, or perhaps Alanis Morrissette, or Franke Potente).

Long distance is long distance, whether love triumphs or not.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 40
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 1:07:37 PM
Anything that requires major planning just to see a man. Live close, or we do not date. Close meaning a few minutes, maybe half hour away. I want to get to know the guy, not the travel route.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 41
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:40:40 PM

Or how far are you willing to go in miles?

10 miles would be as far as I'd go (I live in a pretty small town)... frequency and the ability to get together at a moment's notice is important to me.
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 42
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 4:44:48 PM
I've done several long (long) distance relationships - a few at 300 miles, one at 1,500 miles, 3 at about 3,000 miles (opposite coasts of the US). The first few I was naive and just went with it without considering, up front, who would move and when. Each fell apart, not because of the distance, but because we weren't compatible enough to make the distance worth it anymore.

Except the last one. I'd sworn off long distance and because the traffic in the Seattle area is so bad I was only looking within a 30 min drive (approx 10 miles). Then I saw a pic next to a pof forum post that so captured me I checked out his profile and then had to write to him. Took off like a rocket from there. 5 days later I flew 3000 mile and he drove 5 hrs to meet. From the beginning he said he was already planning to move 'out west' in a year or two so that hurdle was cleared up front. That was almost 2 yrs ago and he's in the process of moving.

Wonder what it will be like to have a date without a plane ride.

So to answer OP - under 30 minutes drive, or as far as it takes - for the right man.
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 43
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 4:53:33 PM
If it takes more than an hours drive, I'll pass.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 44
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:27:30 AM

From the beginning he said he was already planning to move 'out west' in a year or two so that hurdle was cleared up front. That was almost 2 yrs ago and he's in the process of moving.


Naturally, it all depends on where your at & how flexible you guys are if you do truly click on all cylinders!
And hope he can eventually figure out how to get out of dodge & head west.

And then there is work, if there's children at home, if a mortgage is to pay,etc. No easy task with that in mind. But still can be done.



Wonder what it will be like to have a date without a plane ride.



anticipation......
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 45
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 7:09:40 AM

Long distance is long distance, whether love triumphs or not.


Technically, yes.

But I think OP's question is one of those people are saying there's the technically correct answer and then there's the 'real' answer. Technically, 30 min drive was LDR for me. Reality is continental U.S. was not too far. That remains true even for the many LDR where love did not triumph.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 46
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:39:37 PM
That's a moving target. Ten years ago if we were both in the same state that was the same as the girl next door to me. That was back when I was driving three hours on my days off on a whim to see if a keyboard I heard about at one of the music stores would be worth saving up for, and also in the days where when I got bored I'd just drive around for hours at a time to see if there was anything worth seeing.

In time my free time decreased and the price of gas increased. Eventually I started dating a woman who lived almost 90 minutes away. She lived just 20 minutes beyond what, 5 years earlier, was a drive I'd make multiple times a week just to look around or because the McDonald's I worked at frequently loaned out employees to short handed stores.

It became an ordeal. We couldn't just pop in and see each other. We had to plan at least a week in advance for it to make sure I'd have the gas money to get there or she'd have the gas money to get here. Most of our relationship was online and on the phone.

Now I won't even consider dating someone unless they live in an area I already go to on a regular basis. My searches are conducted within 25 miles and the only reason my profile says "Must be within 75 miles" is because when I edit it the only options I get are "Any" and "75 miles." I'd have it set to 25 if I could.

So really the definition of a long distance relationship is determined by circumstances. If you're wealthy, have a lot of time on your hands, a private aircraft, and the money to keep it in the air the entire US is your back yard and from New York to Texas wouldn't be a long distance relationship.

On the other hand, if you're investing eighteen hours a day seven days a week into getting a business off the ground and you dig steel out of scrap piles, all the while hoping to find aluminum or, even better, copper to keep gas in your vehicle then if the other person's over an hour away they might as well be in Australia.
 Bobby135
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 47
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:25:40 PM
Thanks for all the responses. The main reason that I posted this was because I met someone that is approximately 75 miles away. 1 1/2 hours driving time on a good day. And yes she is worth the time and the expence. Just wish she was closer.
 fyrehawk74
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 48
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/12/2011 6:48:24 PM
To me a LDR is something like my Sister & my Brother-In-Law went through.
They met in University of Ottawa one year (years ago), he went back home for the summer in which was Victoria, BC and my sister stayed in Ontario. she did eventually go out to see him, as my mom, my two sisters & i drove across country to visit family as well as drop her off at his parents place.

Thou, recently i had to move to Sudbury from North Bay - to be closer to my job. Its only a 90min drive, but alot of ppl that are friends with my gf are 'oh my gosh' a LDR. So guess it depends on ones view what is a LDR.

To me, has to be more then 3 hours drive - like when i lived down in niagara region and my gf lived in North Bay.
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 49
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 1:30:46 AM
Any thing farther than wal mart....
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 50
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 2:10:38 AM
If you have to travel with a passport from where you are to where s/he is => long distance
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