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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 39
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What Do You Consider Long DistancePage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
There seems to be a couple of things being interwoven by responders.

The question as asked was, "what do you consider long distance," not "how far would you be willing to go to try to start something."

That's why the first answer (post 2) is so good. I might rephrase it slightly, such that if all of our meets have to be planned in advance, it's Long Distance. If we can call each other on the spur of the moment and get together, it isn't.

That has nothing to do with how much I am interested in them, or whether they are the female equivalent of George Cluny (my choice would be someone like Claire Danes, or perhaps Alanis Morrissette, or Franke Potente).

Long distance is long distance, whether love triumphs or not.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 40
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 1:07:37 PM
Anything that requires major planning just to see a man. Live close, or we do not date. Close meaning a few minutes, maybe half hour away. I want to get to know the guy, not the travel route.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 41
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 2:40:40 PM

Or how far are you willing to go in miles?

10 miles would be as far as I'd go (I live in a pretty small town)... frequency and the ability to get together at a moment's notice is important to me.
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 42
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 4:44:48 PM
I've done several long (long) distance relationships - a few at 300 miles, one at 1,500 miles, 3 at about 3,000 miles (opposite coasts of the US). The first few I was naive and just went with it without considering, up front, who would move and when. Each fell apart, not because of the distance, but because we weren't compatible enough to make the distance worth it anymore.

Except the last one. I'd sworn off long distance and because the traffic in the Seattle area is so bad I was only looking within a 30 min drive (approx 10 miles). Then I saw a pic next to a pof forum post that so captured me I checked out his profile and then had to write to him. Took off like a rocket from there. 5 days later I flew 3000 mile and he drove 5 hrs to meet. From the beginning he said he was already planning to move 'out west' in a year or two so that hurdle was cleared up front. That was almost 2 yrs ago and he's in the process of moving.

Wonder what it will be like to have a date without a plane ride.

So to answer OP - under 30 minutes drive, or as far as it takes - for the right man.
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 43
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/10/2011 4:53:33 PM
If it takes more than an hours drive, I'll pass.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 44
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:27:30 AM

From the beginning he said he was already planning to move 'out west' in a year or two so that hurdle was cleared up front. That was almost 2 yrs ago and he's in the process of moving.


Naturally, it all depends on where your at & how flexible you guys are if you do truly click on all cylinders!
And hope he can eventually figure out how to get out of dodge & head west.

And then there is work, if there's children at home, if a mortgage is to pay,etc. No easy task with that in mind. But still can be done.



Wonder what it will be like to have a date without a plane ride.



anticipation......
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 45
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 7:09:40 AM

Long distance is long distance, whether love triumphs or not.


Technically, yes.

But I think OP's question is one of those people are saying there's the technically correct answer and then there's the 'real' answer. Technically, 30 min drive was LDR for me. Reality is continental U.S. was not too far. That remains true even for the many LDR where love did not triumph.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 46
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:39:37 PM
That's a moving target. Ten years ago if we were both in the same state that was the same as the girl next door to me. That was back when I was driving three hours on my days off on a whim to see if a keyboard I heard about at one of the music stores would be worth saving up for, and also in the days where when I got bored I'd just drive around for hours at a time to see if there was anything worth seeing.

In time my free time decreased and the price of gas increased. Eventually I started dating a woman who lived almost 90 minutes away. She lived just 20 minutes beyond what, 5 years earlier, was a drive I'd make multiple times a week just to look around or because the McDonald's I worked at frequently loaned out employees to short handed stores.

It became an ordeal. We couldn't just pop in and see each other. We had to plan at least a week in advance for it to make sure I'd have the gas money to get there or she'd have the gas money to get here. Most of our relationship was online and on the phone.

Now I won't even consider dating someone unless they live in an area I already go to on a regular basis. My searches are conducted within 25 miles and the only reason my profile says "Must be within 75 miles" is because when I edit it the only options I get are "Any" and "75 miles." I'd have it set to 25 if I could.

So really the definition of a long distance relationship is determined by circumstances. If you're wealthy, have a lot of time on your hands, a private aircraft, and the money to keep it in the air the entire US is your back yard and from New York to Texas wouldn't be a long distance relationship.

On the other hand, if you're investing eighteen hours a day seven days a week into getting a business off the ground and you dig steel out of scrap piles, all the while hoping to find aluminum or, even better, copper to keep gas in your vehicle then if the other person's over an hour away they might as well be in Australia.
 Bobby135
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 47
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:25:40 PM
Thanks for all the responses. The main reason that I posted this was because I met someone that is approximately 75 miles away. 1 1/2 hours driving time on a good day. And yes she is worth the time and the expence. Just wish she was closer.
 fyrehawk74
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 48
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/12/2011 6:48:24 PM
To me a LDR is something like my Sister & my Brother-In-Law went through.
They met in University of Ottawa one year (years ago), he went back home for the summer in which was Victoria, BC and my sister stayed in Ontario. she did eventually go out to see him, as my mom, my two sisters & i drove across country to visit family as well as drop her off at his parents place.

Thou, recently i had to move to Sudbury from North Bay - to be closer to my job. Its only a 90min drive, but alot of ppl that are friends with my gf are 'oh my gosh' a LDR. So guess it depends on ones view what is a LDR.

To me, has to be more then 3 hours drive - like when i lived down in niagara region and my gf lived in North Bay.
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 49
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 1:30:46 AM
Any thing farther than wal mart....
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 50
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 2:10:38 AM
If you have to travel with a passport from where you are to where s/he is => long distance
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 51
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 5:17:20 PM
I feel that "Consigliori" caught the essence of this , with this line : "If you're willing to relocate I don't suppose any distance is too far. If not, well there you are."

I for one, would not be willing to move any time soon - though it's not absolutely impossible (not much is).

That said , once I'm in a relationship , I really like being able to see that person at least a couple times a week - if not more. And I really enjoy mutual visiting/hosting roles. So any car travel over an hour, is likely to cause me to resist getting involved in the first place.

Subsisting on phone and email is not my idea of a fun relationship - I want that "touchability" factor too !
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 52
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/2/2011 5:36:38 PM
To Me...:
'Long-distance' would be an inconvernience to travel on a daily basis to be together
as much as We want...roughly over 100 miles...
_Most_ people link 'Long-distance' and 'Long-Term' together ...
without considering that if the chemistry is Very Strong, one or the other may be more inclined to Do the relocating to make it work-out..!!!
I've flown 1,200 miles for a 'Holiday/Date' that turned into a Total Fiasco, but I'd take the chance, again...and even make a permanent move...
For The Right Lady !!

*Distance * is not...necessarily...Permanent !!

Give it a Chance
 Akua7
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 53
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/3/2011 7:14:42 PM
Long Distance...I think it's possible when you know you've found that one. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years with the love of my life; however, I may never see him again. I may not marry him or have a family with him. But I gave my heart to him long ago and he gave me his. We've been "together" in a sense for lack of a better word for over 2 years. Both of us agreed to see others and move on with our lives but neither one of us has given up on our love and our chance to be together one day. Even if an ocean is standing in the way. It's hard at times and we communicate via phone and email. It's a constant battle! I believe I can develop and grow to love someone else as much as him with time...but it's a big whole that would have to be filled. No one's come close. All I think I can do is live my life and hope one day to reunite with him or eventually find someone else leaves me with the feeling he left. Who knows...but I don't regret it!
 harbour_girl
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 54
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:42:58 PM
I guess it's all up to each individual. Some people don't mind long distance relationships... but they realize at one point or another that if they totally click one may have to move. Some just up a leave both their places and hook up somewhere together that works for the both of them. Though, I rarely see this happen.

I know for me, I don't want to relocate so I keep the distance as close to home as possible... also considering the money I'm willing or not willing to fork out to go on a date. And if I ever feel that I'm willing to move then I'll advance my search. And if by chance some guy who lives far away is willing to travel to see me and we totally click and wants to relocate, I may just take him up on it. But most guys seem to be settled and don't want to relocate either. Just my thoughts.

Hopefully this was of some help.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 55
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/5/2011 8:12:21 AM

10 miles would be as far as I'd go (I live in a pretty small town)


Wow. I live eight miles FROM the closest small town, and it's only got a couple hundred occupants. It's a forty minute drive to the nearest decent restaurant, theater, or other common 'first date' meeting spot.

So to answer the OP, I don't consider anything less than a two hour drive long distance, and 'long distance' does not create an absolute barrier. It just raises the level of interest required to initiate that first meet.

I've made two strong attempts at a truly long distance relationship. One lived in New Mexico, the other in Alaska. In the latter case our first date was in San Francisco, roughly halfway between us. We had a second date here in West Virginia, then both agreed that the interest wasn't strong enough to keep trying.

I had a good relationship going for a while with a woman who lived two hours away. We got together most weekends and it worked for a good while. We remain close friends even though she's now six hours away and phone and email are our primary means of contact.

The longer the distance, the longer the dates. You may not be able to just have a spontaneous lunch, but you're more likely to devote yourself fully to the time you do get to spend together.

And if the miles are great, there's certainly a lot more time spent before the first meet talking and nurturing whatever spark drew you to each other in the first place. All that anticipation can make finally sharing the same physical space quite memorable.

Dave
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 56
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 11/11/2012 2:26:05 AM
Over 100 miles or an hour's drive...
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