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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > I never should have asked her......but I did.      Home login  
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 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 100
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I never should have asked her......but I did.Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

There is so much more to good sex than the size of the penis.

That statement says it all. Obviously she is with you, so like the song says, you "must be doing something right".
 ActiveAVguy
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 101
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/28/2011 3:06:17 PM
Practice makes perfect! I good discussion on this is great foreplay and almost as good as the sex, but seriously talk it out and find out how to ring her bell until it becomes a regular part of your tool box.

 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 102
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:51:47 PM
Hate to say but I did a little research on this. I sorta wondered about this a bit because one g/f of mine told me I was too big. Not bragging here but that was confounding because I'm merely average and thought most women wanted huge schwantzes.

A woman's vagina is 3 to 4 inches long, on the average, BEFORE being excited. One link I read said it was even smaller. During excitement and subsequent intercourse, the vagina enlongates, due to a physical reaction of her uterus moving upwards in her abdomen.

It sounds like the OPs woman orgasms at times during penetration when she was being stimulated at or close to her cervix. I'm glad to read later on after Msg1 where the OP stated that his partner achieved an intercourse orgasm when she rode him like a bucking bronco. Now the OP ought to be paying attention to their anatomical connection when she climaxed on top of him, and try to imitate those positions and movements when he's on top of her.

It's always important to communicate well, even with a tough question like the OP posed. Frankly, I'd want to know the same thing if I were with a woman--I damn well want to know if she's climaxing and what's the quality and quantity of her climaxing.
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 103
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/28/2011 11:04:25 PM
OMG__ that is so rediculous. SIZE is not the issue but a myth. I will tell you a woman having one is ,more connected to her" brain" not his pness. It might be that in her brain it's size that matters but it isn't the reason physically.
Men get excited visually, women mentally. That is a scientific fact. So in her Brain, it might seem so.
That is so sad that women make this junk up. She is just not well educated on the facts and should read up on this before telling a man such a thing.
I would say, pass her by she is ignorant.
It is a fact women have a problem with orgasm (reguardless of what they say). Many lie and lie often.
The problem lies in what excites men is NOT the same thing as women. I have argued over such comments with women and finally get through to them and they admit the real truth, they think they are suppose to say that.
I am so sorry, a woman did that to you, she is selfish and should get A BRAIN.
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 104
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/28/2011 11:10:30 PM
OP, is this the same woman you said you broke it off with cuz she was looking at a dating site online while you were at some romantic getaway??? Why are you wasting time with this creature? You deserve better! What other ego-crushing things does she have to do to you for you to kick her to the curb already?!
 boarderdad50
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 105
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/29/2011 6:11:36 AM
Well the thing is, unless you are Ron Jeramy or something it is very likely your current SO has been with someone in the past that was bigger than you. What matters is that person had other issues and things obviously didn't work, she is with you now so use what you got and enjoy.

If it is really a big deal as others said they got toys for that and who is to say you cant be part of that fun.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 106
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/29/2011 12:03:42 PM

OP, is this the same woman you said you broke it off with cuz she was looking at a dating site online while you were at some romantic getaway???


Yeah....same person.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 107
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/29/2011 12:45:41 PM
It sounds like you're very insecure with this relationship...which will wind up being a self-fulfilling fear... the more suspicious and insecure you get, the more bored and annoyed she will get...She wants a MAN...not a whiner.

I'm not trying to hurt or insult...we've all done it to a degree...you gotta either toughen up or end it.
Realize that IF she doesn't feel you're enough for her there's nothing you can do about it!
You can either BE enough for her or show her you're not...your choice.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 108
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/29/2011 7:28:38 PM
cd young~

"She can't orgasm during intercourse? Talk about being a freak of nature."

Actually, according to research, only about a third of woman ALWAYS have an orgasm during intercourse. Another third have orgasms some of the time, and the other third do not have orgasms during intercourse at all. ALL women, however, barring any sort of pathology mind you, can achieve orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

Guys, you really need to get over this idea that if a woman does not have an orgasm during intercourse that a) there is something wrong with HER, or b) that there is something wrong with YOU. And people wonder why there is so much performance anxiety when it comes to sex? Sheesh! The pornos that you are watching are not real, you know that, don't you?

OP -

You should dump this woman. Not because of the answer to your question, but because she was on another dating site while you were together. She is a waste of time, and sounds like a bit of a player. You can do so much better!
 sporkintheroad
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 109
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/29/2011 7:50:32 PM
I saw something on TV the other day that said there is a direct correlation between how far apart a woman's clitoris is from her vagina, and whether a woman orgasms during intercourse.

Women who's clitoris are farther away, usually have a harder time. So, maybe the longer and bigger penis really was the difference, and because of his extra length and girth, he was able to actually stimulate her clitoris during vaginal intercourse, whereas a man with a normal size, cannot?
 its_me_J
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 110
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 12:44:18 AM

So, every time you've had sex you've given them an ORGANISM.....would that be in the form of an STD or a child?


This is why I hang out in the forums...LMAO!!
 dwayne88
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 111
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 8:52:15 AM
I don't see why anyone should get onto the guy.

He was expecting her to mention how he did it. Not that he had a babies arm.

Her telling him that was about as disrespectful as it could possibly get.

I couldn't handle that if I were him.

That would be a self esteeem murderer.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 112
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 12:12:03 PM

I couldn't handle that if I were him.

Because you're insecure!


That would be a self esteeem murderer.

It's not SELF-esteem is someone ELSE can take it away!
 dwayne88
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 113
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 1:05:22 PM
I may be insecure, but it's a normal reaction to have.

Its a direct shot at a man's manhood to say something like that.

It's about as bad as it can get. .............................................
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 114
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 4:30:55 PM
^^^^ Saying it's normal is a cop out....just like excusing poor behavior by saying everyone does it....

It may be all too common to have poor self-esteem but it'S not NORMAL.


There are plenty of people who can take her answer without getting weird... Heck, I don't even think she did anything at all wrong.... OP asked and she answered.

If you're to fragile to handle difficult answers, cease asking difficult questions.
 2wheeleddreamer
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 115
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 9/30/2011 5:01:42 PM
she is lying. drop her like a used rubber. I am large, I have had the same problem along with other problems. always got to have lube if she isn't shaved the hair gets rubbed, she say's ouch, i can't go to a strip club cause i can't hide it. I would trade you, first thing i would do is put her on top if she can't get off she ain't trying. simple as that
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 116
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:23:26 AM

Yeah....same person.


You are far too cute, sweet, and together to have to put up with this.

There's so many beautiful, giving, loving women out there who would build you up instead of tearing you down.

**wonders for the millionth time if I should change into a meanie so I could meet some nice guy** LOLLL
 dwayne88
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 117
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/1/2011 6:36:25 AM

^^^^ Saying it's normal is a cop out....just like excusing poor behavior by saying everyone does it....

It may be all too common to have poor self-esteem but it'S not NORMAL.


There are plenty of people who can take her answer without getting weird... Heck, I don't even think she did anything at all wrong.... OP asked and she answered.

If you're to fragile to handle difficult answers, cease asking difficult questions.


She could have just said he was really good in bed, not that he was hung like a horse.

Unless a guy asks about size, a woman should never mention it.
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 118
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:02:01 AM
If shes with you then she must be somewhat happy....but for her to say that...shes not thinking about what you might be thinking after....meaning the ego thing....
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 119
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:32:27 AM
Not wanting to add even more naff and irrelevant cliches to this as thats already been covered MORE than adequately lol

But I did chuckle at the post that said "big isnt always good, it can hurt" as this obviously WASNT the case with her previous partner I would guess, unless pain is what makes her orgasm


The real crux here as I see it will depend on one of two things

The first is if this "revelation" has an effect on you when having sex with her, which I can imagine could be possible. And could then potentially lead to either a solution or the relationship ending depending on how severe and what happens next


The other factor is more to do with her, and whether due to having had orgasms not just from "other stuff" but from penetration to that over time it might begim to feel that she would like the "whole package"

And as much as many have tried to claim its a tiny part of sex, because she HAS been used to getting orgasms that way then its quite possible its an important "tiny part" or could grow to feel important over time

Many people "make do" on countless areas with a partner thinking all the plus points will indefinitely outweigh the short comings

Sometimes they do, other times they dont theres no way of knowing in advance for either person

Failing that try wearing three thick socks and a condom and see if that helps
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 120
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:36:29 AM
Ouch!!

Well, if it's any comfort, I doubt very much that the pure sensation of size alone will reliably produce more orgasms in a woman (assuming the guy's in the "normal" range). Sexual satisfaction is about 98% brain - what you feel toward someone - not how large or well-shaped a penis or vagina is. I'm saying that her lack of an ability to achieve intercourse orgasm with you is almost surely more about the way she thinks about you as opposed to pure physical sensation.

And what she thinks about you is clearly the point when it comes to her telling you something like this. The intent, assuming she is not brain-dead, was to hurt you. Her comment was all about sticking a knife in your gut.

With that in mind, unless you're into a variant of sadomasochism, I would suggest you find a new girlfriend. There are plenty of quality women (almost wrote "fish";-) out there who would never dream of demeaning their man in that way. Find one.
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 121
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:46:49 AM
I would add that expectation has a lot to do with sexual response. I mean, as a guy, you might see a beautiful naked woman spread out on your bed as you're thinking: "Oh my god! She's so gorgeous! Look at those legs! I'll bet this is going to blow my mind!"

And sure enough the sex might feel fantastic. Not because the actual physical sensations are objectively better than they might be with a less attractive woman, but because you are super-turned on AND YOU EXPECT THEM TO BE.

Likewise with your (hopefully soon to be erstwhile girl "friend"). She looked at her massively hung ex-boyfriend and thought: "Oh my god! It's so gorgeous! Look at it's thickness and all those rope-like veins! This is going to blow my mind!"

And it did - not because the physical sensations were necessarily objectively better, but because of her expectations.

By the way, thanks for your honesty. It took courage to write that on a public forum.
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 122
I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 10:38:09 AM

OMG__ that is so rediculous. SIZE is not the issue but a myth. I will tell you a woman having one is ,more connected to her" brain" not his pness. It might be that in her brain it's size that matters but it isn't the reason physically.
Men get excited visually, women mentally. That is a scientific fact. So in her Brain, it might seem so.
That is so sad that women make this junk up. She is just not well educated on the facts and should read up on this before telling a man such a thing.
I would say, pass her by she is ignorant.
It is a fact women have a problem with orgasm (reguardless of what they say). Many lie and lie often.
The problem lies in what excites men is NOT the same thing as women. I have argued over such comments with women and finally get through to them and they admit the real truth, they think they are suppose to say that.
I am so sorry, a woman did that to you, she is selfish and should get A BRAIN.


Just read your post. I think mine mirrored yours well.

It is all about the BRAIN. Or mostly. Heh.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 123
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 11:23:07 AM
The idea that its all in the brain and size is irrelevant is actually the myth

Womens "size" varies as much as mens do, plus some women lubricate much more than others, even shape features as the curviture (or lack thereof) of a mans penis will alter what internal contact it will, or wont make as well as the girth causing or not causing friction plus the internal dimensions and shape of the woman vary greatly too

Even the variance between a womans pre coital size and post coital size varies quite a bit due to varying body sizes, elasticity and the different types and builds of musculature in that area

So to put it as clearly as poss women even of a similar size and shape of body can vary in vaginal dimensions from being difficult to insert a finger into prior to forplay to being able to easily take an average sized fist with little to no foreplay depending on their natural starting dimensions and what they have been upto during their sexual lifetime


All of these add up to an overall sensation and no amount of "mind" will do anygood if theres barely no actual sensations to work with no matter how much she might think of the bloke

But if you want to test the theory that sensation isnt ANY part of an orgasm for a woman, then find one who REALLY fancies you and sit looking at her clit and see how quickly she orgasms, failing that try touching it, but without moving or doing anything else and see how that works out too

A size mismatch isnt even just bad for women, its not uncommon for men to also complain that theres such a large variance in size which can equally be down to either partner or a combination of both meaning theres barely any sensation during penetrative sex. So if the man isnt "feeling much" youre claiming the woman on the other hand would still be in throws of uncontrollable ecstasy? Yeah right lol

For an "average" sized man, and an "averaged" sized woman things would normally be pretty ok, but averages are arrived at as a mean after recording the extremes too and with no research I am aware of its hard to even know what the modal female average would be and how much variance there would be between women who have had kids and those who havent, those who use vibrators internally and those who never do etc

But I have had quite a few couples where the size differential was a real problem and where they could only get any reasonable degree of physical sensation from vibrators far in excess of the size of their "average" sized partners. And even with those every few years the size of the vib still needed to be upgraded as it stopped having the same effect

So theres a LOT of variables and a LOT of different causes for a lack of pleasure

But I can understand why a lot of men prefer to think size doesnt matter at all and that its all in the mind as well as why many women will tell them the same thing too even when on their own experience its not strictly what they believe
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 124
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I never should have asked her......but I did.
Posted: 10/2/2011 7:52:12 PM
Well, it wasn't smart of you to ask.

And it was even less smart of her to answer like that.

I hate to tell you, but you kind of asked for it. And she's an insensitive ****.

The damage is done. I hope this isn't typical of your relationship. If it is, I doubt it will last. How do you get over it? I have no idea.

Quit worrying about orgasm during intercourse. Most women don't do it without help of some sort anyway. Focus on doing what feels good to her. Take your time. Worship her body. Get to know every little thing about it. Make her feel really, really good. Make her feel better than any other guy she's been with.

Or else get the flock out of there because anyone that insensitive is probably not relationship material.
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