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 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 26
Religion and DatingPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
If it's forensic Anthropology I don't see a conflict but if cultural or biological I see her having a conflict with her beliefs. Very interesting career choice for a Christian.

I know you said you have a lot in common but I see a lot of problems if she is already trying to get you to convert. If you do it just to appease her, it won't be real and you will eventually have trouble continuing with church, Bible studies, etc.

Good luck.
 Terra Espiritu
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:41:47 PM
You're going to run into some problems if she truly takes the Bible literally. By chance is her interest "Biblical Archaeology"? If so then I can see how she can blend her beliefs with anthropology as a major.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 28
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:55:20 PM
I don't hold anyones religion against them...~unless it involves a Jihad~..!!
I have my own beliefs, too...but don't expect my partner to agree with them...
Relationships are based on personal chemistry...not necessarily ones belief in any particular
'Supreme Being'.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 29
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:59:24 PM
Same religion = same values/morals/goals?

Different religion = different values/morals/goals?

Not necessarily!

I've been there Op, and I feel like I'm the only one who tried.. so of course it was doomed.

I say it depends on how much you are each willing to bend.. and how deeply entrenched exclusivity of truth goes, on either side of the equation. To me that sentiment (if it can be called that) is a love-killer plain and simple. I don't just mean the romantic kind either. I've seen it split families, and of course.. nations..

The irony is that those who cling to it with white knuckles think that it is honourable.. that that is what God wants. But if God is love as the christians proclaim.. well where is it.. ?

I will not have my love stuffed into a box. That's all I've got to say.

Good luck to you whatever you decide
 Pasionlatina529
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 30
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:06:53 PM
I'm a Christian and I know others who may be free n others that as u stated are almost literal. If I felt he wasn't allowing to serve God as a free choice n wanted me to serve Him his way. I would not date him. The sane goes for lifestyle choices. It doesn't have to be religion only. There are a lot closed minded ppl in the way one is brought up, on raising children, school. Again lifestyle choices There will always be someone who beliefs are better or the way - just choose who u want to be with wisely.
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 31
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 10:59:55 PM
She is interested in Biblical Archaeology ... but she is studying at a mainstream public, even liberal university. However she is focusing on Southwest archaeology. Anyways, it is an interesting school choice for a fundamental Christian.
 NotHereRightNow
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 32
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 11:34:07 PM
I was talking to this girl from here, and everything was near 'perfect', then she found out I'm not of the same religion, and I'm bad when it comes to religion, so she just dropped me, just wanted to be friends.

I'm sure you wont stand each other long anyways.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 33
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 3:16:29 AM
IMO *carolann0308* hit it on the head:

She is not attracted to her opposite, you are. She is trying to CHANGE you and make you into someone that blends. Is that what you want?

While you may have a lot in common, she still wants to "change" you in some way.... which unless your some kind of marshmallow and can conform to any thing, I doubt things will work out in the long run.
 Wrenchturner
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 34
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 3:23:15 AM
Honestly? Probably not. Religious beliefs are fundatmental to some people and trying to change that is like trying to change the weather; not going to happen. If you cannot accept things the way they are I am afraid you are going to be out of luck.
 steph_0929
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 35
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 3:35:41 AM
I wouldn't pursue it. I don't think it would work out especially if she is trying to convert you to Christianity. For me personally being either atheist or agnostic (undecided) I know it would be a deal breaker most likely.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 36
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 5:52:18 AM
OP from what you've wrote it sounds to me as if she's trying to get you to believe as she does. So I say, no, in the long run, this will never work out. I'm not one for jamming religion down someones throat.
 BowHunter216
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:05:03 AM
RUN DON'T WALK TO THE NEAREST EXIT. Sadly I speak from experience, a relationship between a religious zealot like you described will no work since these folks are completely consumed and have no room for anyone else in their life. Most will try to convert you to their religious views. I dated for a short while a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN, who felt she was holier than thou and kept quoting scriptures and mentioned how she always listens to religious radio programs, before learning about this, I made the mistake of inviting her to a family party where unknown to me she handed out religious brochures. I had to tell her to stop. It was a shame because we enjoyed going fishing together. I also loaned her $300 which she never paid back. I found out later that she coned her church into buying her a new car - what a good con artist. Wished I could have gotten her out of my life sooner - another painful lesson learned. You two are completely incompatible, so end it now, otherwise you will be in for a lot of drama and pain.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 38
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:14:25 AM
OP, a lot of people here speak from experience, as do I. And I can tell you, as someone who is atheist but still accepts what ever anyone else wants to believe, that viewpoint can't rescue and/or advance a relationship. It just can't.

Fundamentally, Christians will always want to pray when there's a problem. They will always want you to come to church with them. They will always resent the fact that you don't share in their belief system. If you have children, that's when the real conflict will start; to baptize or not to baptize, first communion, confirmation, etc.

I, for one, would not want to raise a Christian child. I don't want to go to church, I think praying is a horrible waste of time and energy, and my partner must accept that 100%. I learned the hard way, trying to pursue someone in college I was otherwise matched well to, only to see it all crumble away due to her family's non-acceptance, thus her non-acceptance, of me.

When I first met my wife I brought up religion very quickly and when she shared my same distrust and distaste for organized religion, I pursued further. I won't let myself "come to find out" later that we don't fit in this area.

My brother drags his a$$ to church on Sunday and has told me numerous times he does it to "make her happy." So if you can fake being a believer like he does, you're all good. Unfortunately, I don't know how long his relationship can go on like this, but we'll see...
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 39
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:26:52 AM
I mean if you're 'ok' with a person who believes in zombies, magical beans and talking snakes. A person who follows a book written 2K years ago by MEN and filled with magical stories. Why not.. I mean if you retard yourself a few points - it could be possible ... anything is possible if you're willing...

I personally would not even bother. But hey... whatever floats your boat...
 Bladesmith81801
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 40
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:44:47 PM
No middle ground here.

RUN!
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 41
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:51:15 PM
either convert.
or
corrupt.

If neither is an option.
go fish.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 42
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 2:18:48 AM
the first questions when thinking of dating someone is religion, what are you end goals (just dating, casual dating, long term, marriage), and a couple of other things.

I dont get why people spend time with others that arent' a match yet they still try to date them.

No for me it's not worth going for.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 43
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 11:37:40 AM
To throw further complication into the matter ... she is studying to become an anthropologist. We met in the field.

And your point is? My B.A. was in Anthro. Had nothing to do with my personal spiritual beliefs (which I do hold) Nothing. If I go to a surgeon who may be a devout Christian, an observant Jew or a religious Muslim, do they stand and pray over me and send me home? Of course not. They do their job and then have their private relationship with the God of their understanding. One's education, training and career have nothing to do with one's private personal beliefs.
Imagine all the people you come into contact with who provide goods and services to you and who may have vastly different beliefs than you do yet that doesn't stop them from working with you.
If this girl's religion bothers you then leave her alone. I agree with jmark.
 joemac356
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:51:54 PM
OP, you seem like a bright, articulate guy.
Do yourself a favour and do some math. Add up the responses thus far and tally the ratio of those in favour of you continuing to date her to those who are opposed. I think there is a reason it would be so skewed.
People are telling you that, based on their experiences, it won't work.

I fall firmly in that camp, also because of my experiences.

I married a woman who said that she was agnostic, didn't know what to believe, did not belong to any religion and did not attend church.
All lies, they were. It was not very long before she was trying to change me, to convert me to her real beliefs: that of a Christian. It didn't work, because it couldn't work. At the risk of making a generality, I'll say that in my experience, Christians are indoctrinated to bring others into the fold. I know because I was raised a Roman Catholic, but I never bought any of the dogma. I'm somewhere between atheist and agnostic.
I believe there is no such thing as a god or divine power. I admit that I could be wrong, but at this stage of my life, I don't really care.

I spent the better part of thirty years of my life feeling pushed and shoved, because I caved in a few times and attended church services with her and her family. I even played electric bass in their church band for a while.
I grew so tired of hearing scripture and what I consider hair-brained fantasy and seeing all the absolute hypocrisy that I couldn't take it. Imagine that: 30 years of torture, because I allowed myself to fall for someone of faith. Such was my devotion to her because of the love I felt for her.
Never again.

Like others have advised you, end it now. Find someone with the same core values and belief system.
They're out there and it's sooo much easier, in the long term.
Good luck to ya.
 3xsacharmsotheysay
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 45
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:56:54 PM
I cannot see how two people who have such a diverse bridge between them spiritually can have a forever lasting relationship. To begin with you've already called her a nut!!!
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 46
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:23:25 PM
Loosely related to anthropology, human geography views Christianity along with a few other religions as 'universalizing' religions. The MAIN goal of these religions is to create converts.

While you may have the ability to be open- minded and accepting of other's beliefs, the very foundation of your potential partner's beliefs dictates her future actions. If you decide you can be comfortable with this then go ahead with the relationship. If not you know what to do.

BTW it is a little disquieting to read you referring to her as a "religious nut". Not really a comment I would personally equate with an open minded respectful attitude towards others.
 ShellLadySD
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 47
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:09:18 PM
Why are you even asking? (apologies if someone has already asked this.)

Dayna's right-- as she always is-- if they're a zealot, how did you miss that one?

If they're not a zealot per se, but you're uncomfortable, hey, you're uncomfortable. MOVE ON.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 10:19:47 PM
Strange_Design,

Since I probably shouldn't call you a fool, let me just say that you sense of entitlement makes you out to be a very foolish boy. In none of your posts did I get the idea that you have any respect for this Christian Lady. Actually, what I did grasp from you is you seem to believe that it is your right and privilege to belittle the Christian woman. I find you very offensive. Is your intent only to get in her pants and then cast her aside. Do you wish to corrupt her and then beat her with failed morals.

I can assume you are on this forum complaining to all who will listen how unfair she is being because she has not succumbed to your charms. I hope and pray that her internal compass if firmly directed God-ward and far, far away from you.

TK
[S_D, may your future path take you as far as possible from the god of your own designs]
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/13/2011 10:39:24 PM

My S.O. and I have no problems with adherence to different religions, I'm an irreligious Pantheist atheist, she's a religious Hindu atheist, both of us are also agnostic.


You're going to have to explain how you are irreligious (hostile or indifferent toward the belief of God), yet believe God and the Universe are the same (Pantheist), how you are an atheist (does not believe there is God), but you are also agnostic (someone who claims there is no evidence to prove, or disprove, the existence of God).

You're hung up on a bunch of really neat sounding titles..pick one of them..or is this just on Wednesdays?
 RandomScause
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 50
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/14/2011 12:51:18 PM
Everybody on this thread assumes that if religion is an issue, then you are expected to convert to Christianity, or become religious if you already are a non-believing Christian.

I think this is not the only viable solution.

You could get her to become a non-religious person. Or the two of you could compromise, and choose a half-way measure between religion and atheism, and you both follow that. For instance, Shintoism, or in a sense, Buddhism.

There is more than one way to skin the cat.
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