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 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 101
Religion and DatingPage 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Yeah I agree shakti....thanks.

RoxanneR: This is EXACTLY the topic we discuss in this thread, it is about religious intolerance, the only difference is that you and I aren't dating. But it is apparent you are infected with it....

It would be a waste of your time to explain to me about your love and belief of Christ, because something tells me you won't want to hear mine.

But good luck with your shallowness and intolerance of others who believe something different than you.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 102
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/26/2011 9:30:02 AM
My first husband and I divorced because of a difference in religious beliefs. He thought he was God and I totally disagreed. Not too far from the truth, and not original with me, thought this thread could use a giggle!!
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 103
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/26/2011 10:20:34 AM
Bucsgirl.. it's sad that it should have to come to that. But I'm assuming the 'God complex' encompassed more than just his religious beliefs?

I've noticed over the years that our spiritual differences can actually unite us, there is always common ground to stand on.. if you look for it.

Rumi says it best:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.


Only Breath

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu
Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion

or cultural system. I am not from the East
or the West, not out of the ocean or up

from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not
composed of elements at all. I do not exist,

am not an entity in this world or in the next,
did not descend from Adam and Eve or any

origin story. My place is placeless, a trace
of the traceless. Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved, have seen the two
worlds as one and that one call to and know,

first, last, outer, inner, only that
breath breathing human being.
~Jelaluddin Rumi
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 104
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/26/2011 11:01:22 AM
no...absolutely not!!
 galaxxy
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 105
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:23:36 PM
within the human mind. every and any state is possible. the requisition rendered would be to locate ones dementia harnessing and universal adaption, analyze and apply a neurotic ionization in which one could perceive positively.


...*blowz smoke, adjusts shades' steps back into the shadow*
 virVerus
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 106
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/26/2011 4:47:29 PM
If I dated a woman who took her faith seriously, I would have her watch movies like "Agora" so she could see what the true history of Christianity was like, not the "everybody gave up their ancestral ways because they recognized the truth in Christianity" version. Of course, that wouldn't make her change her faith, which really isn't my intention in the first place. Christianity is a great religion when it focuses on faith, hope, love, peace, etc. I really don't get the "fire and brimstone" aspect at all, especially since it wasn't talked about in the Old Testament where the sole afterlife destination was "sheol" (the grave). Or the "my religion (or Jesus) is the only way" aspect.

Official Agora Trailer English HD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbuEhwselE0
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 107
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/27/2011 5:11:01 AM
When it comes to deep-rooted beliefs that help shape who a person is I find that it's best to find like-minded individuals to form a relationship with.

I'm a laid back Lutheran and I personally couldn't handle being in a relationship with one of those "born again" Christians. I have nothing against anyone elses beliefs, but I don't appreciate having them shoved down my throat 24/7. I have my own beliefs thank you very much. I personally don't believe in trying to influence others to believe as I do and I consider my religious beliefs more of a private thing. I usually don't get into relationships with atheists or bible thumpers. I prefer to find a happy medium to compliment my life.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 108
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/27/2011 8:40:46 AM
dunrich2 ~


Curious, what would the ones do who would only get involved with someone of the same faith do,,,if after a couple of years, your mate changed their thinking? Maybe embraced a new belief?

Would you split up with them?


It depends if we couldn't live together and agree that we disagree with faith then yes I would break up with them. I mean it would be a constant struggle to have to listen to someone who was born again Christian or even the flip of the coin if they gave up on Christianity and became a atheist and constantly trying to convert you as well.

I was raised to never argue about Politics, Religion and how much money you make. But anymore not many people go by that golden rule. They want everyone to hear their opinion loud and proud. And this is coming from most religions and non religious people. They are tired of being put down by other people. It's become a shouting match more than anything...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 109
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:40:44 AM
"I was raised to never argue about Politics, Religion and how much money you make."

This is a good point, I think the OP was more about is it someone you would date, IOW, if you found out, would you date this person. There are definite topics that should be discussed before entering into a serious, exclusive commitment, these are a few of those.

Arguing, in the strictest sense, is what lawyers do in court to win their case. You can only argue facts, anything else is opinion which is not "arguable". There are ways to present an opinion, set of beliefs, morals or standards by which a person makes decisions. While it would be rare to find any two people whose opinions, etc. match exactly, it's adviseable that they are fairly close or at least compatible. Some people can have divergent opinions, yet live happily together.

I think it really comes down to a person's level of tolerance, rather than how divergent their lifestyles are. I do find it interesting, and I'm sorry it's true that there are those who try to force their beliefs on others. That's not the teaching of christianity. The only times I've discussed my religious beliefs, I prefer the word faith, with someone else is if they ask, or it comes up naturally in a conversation. As others have said, my relationship with God is personal, so all I do is give someone what my faith has meant to me in my life. Period, if they appear to be uncomfortable, I'd definitely change the topic immediately. I know enough about human nature to not push someone, plus, honestly, it's just not in my nature.

I think if you're going to date someone, there's really only so much you can determine beforehand, that's what the dating process is about, getting to know each other. Then, you can decide if you want to get involved. That's just my opinion and how I handle those situations.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 110
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/27/2011 10:49:58 AM
Another problem that may arise: While dating, both people might put religion on the back burner because it's too sensitive to talk about. But when the relationship goes full circle and leads up to marriage, the selection of church can be a stopper. No matter how modern people claim to be, the majority of people still want the traditional church (or mosque, temple, whatever religious institute) wedding and ceremony.

If both are of a different religion-or non-religion, such as atheist-and are strong followers of their own religion (or non-religion), it would be very hard to find a compromise for the wedding location and ceremony. And if/when they have kids, that opens up another can of worms concerning how the kids are to be raised.
 drjrj3279
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 111
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/27/2011 12:25:21 PM
hey there --

My 2.5 cents: It's ironic I find this thread so quickly just randomly coming on to the forum the first time in 11 months. It's because I'm a practicing Roman Catholic who in the last several days was contacted out-of-the-blue by a very attractive woman self-identifying as an athiest.

Church is PART of what I do (even a big part)...not ALL that I do in life. That's what sets most of us apart from many born-again fundamantalist evangelicals. Yet, she raised the issue, asking me whether I wanted to continue the dialog. As it is, she comes from what sounds like a cultish family background she (understandably) reacted against upon leaving home.

My response was thus (paraphrased): There are many self-professed couples of the same faith (who meet at bible camp, Bob Jones or Steubenville) whose relationships are DISASTERS. Just look at the far higher-than-average divorce rates in the bible-belt and Mormon Utah. Don't tell me those were mostly faith inter-marriages.

Then, there are those of opposing spirituality whose relationships flourish. Now I grant you, neither can be an extremist or absolutist in either sense. But if likeness in faith and ideology were the true yardstick, why would Alabama have one of the highest divorce rates in the whole world???

Here's something else: I've been on a known site for Catholics. So many of those gals are so high-maintenance, demanding absolute 'chivalry' (i.e. obedience) with their God's-gift-to-creation-and-beyond attitudes, men are scum until proven otherwise, etc. Meet the future Deborah Barone's of the world, folks (if they can find husbands). Praying all the rosaries in the world can't relieve a guy of that Hell.

It comes down to this: is there CHEMISTRY??? If not, her KJV verses will be stuffed in your face. Do you share common ground in practical areas? If she's a fanatic (most religious people are NOT, as are most non-believers), it'll flop. If she's sophisticated enough to intellectually and emotionally evolve and can bend in general -- and there's mutual INTEREST -- it might fly. Try this: ask to do a compatibility horoscope w/ her b'day...if she flies off the handle that it's "demonic," bid her adieu.
 Faithful_lady2011
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 9:39:11 AM
I noticed that Christians are being called "religious nuts" and I am just going to put in my $0.02.

First off, not all Christians are religious nut jobs. I'm a Christian myself and I do not consider myself "religious". Yes, there are people who called themselves "Christians" that make me want to smack their head because they're not displaying the love of Christ properly. I do share the gospel but that's all I do. I just present the truth and leave the decision up to the people. It's not my job to convert or shove Bible verses down people's throat. I
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 113
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:23:36 AM
^^"First off, not all Christians are religious nut jobs." followed up by "I just present the truth and leave the decision up to the people". Uh huh, who's "truth"? It seems to me that you are trying to convert by presenting the "truth". I call b.s. on that.

The thing is, if you respect each other's beliefs we will all get along. But to come up with "our god is aweson" and "present the truth" - you come across as judgmental and nut jobs. Who's god is awesome - yours, the next door neighbours or the folks that live in another country or have different beliefs?

I don't want a nut job and I don't want someone "god fearing". I want freedom to believe or not believe.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 114
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:31:06 AM



"First off, not all Christians are religious nut jobs."


true..but the problem is the REAL nuts, think they are not, they believe they are perfectly sane-- the craziest people in the world think they are perfectly normal - only people with MINOR problems seek mental health help usually
 virVerus
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 115
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 12:58:59 PM

I noticed that Christians are being called "religious nuts" and I am just going to put in my $0.02.

First off, not all Christians are religious nut jobs. I'm a Christian myself and I do not consider myself "religious". Yes, there are people who called themselves "Christians" that make me want to smack their head because they're not displaying the love of Christ properly. I do share the gospel but that's all I do. I just present the truth and leave the decision up to the people. It's not my job to convert or shove Bible verses down people's throat.

It's amazing how many Christians say they're "not religious" and yet have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, to whom they pray to, which is a religious ritual by the way, as is taking Communion.

religion:
1. The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.
2. Details of belief as taught or discussed.

No group of worshipers is going to be perfect, whether they be Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, etc. Amazing how some people have a monopoly on "the truth" just because their ancestors were forced to give up their ancient gods and ways or get killed. It's sad we know a lot more about a Middle Eastern people's ancient history and religious customs than we do about those of our own ancestors.

Then again, in the West it's possible to find churches everywhere. I've yet to find a temple here in the States dedicated to Zeus, Jupiter Optimus Maximus, Cernunnos, or Odin. If you know where one is, please let me know!
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 116
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 3:01:29 PM
hello verVersus:
Duuuuuh! Agora was a movie, meant for entertainment. What little fact there was in the movie, it was surpassed by tons of "embellishment"

The early Christians did not have huge temples and grandious outfits. They were poor people mostly. You need to separate fact from fiction. A problem the OP has. As does her SO.

Just a hint. If it's in the movies, it's entertainment. Not fact.


JMO
 Faithful_lady2011
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 3:40:59 PM
Welsh474
I do have friends who does not share my beliefs and we get along fine. They know what I believe and I do not judge them. I am no better than any of them. If they have any questions about why I believe what I believe, then I will be more than happy to share it. If they do not want to hear it, they I do not force them to listen. So, I don't think this is considered "shoving scriptures down your throat" or being a religions nut job.

thebigflick
Sad, but that is true. Like I said, there are people who called themselves Christians that make me want to smack their head.

virVerus
I personally do not see it as a ritual. (While there are people who do all things because it's part of their "ritual"). If it's not a "must do" list will they still do it? Probably not.
I see ritual as something someone "must" do. A relationship is you do something because you want to.

For example: A husband gives his wife flowers or gift on her birthday. Does he do that because it's a "rule" or does he do that because he loves her? Same thing with my own experience. I read my Bible and pray because I want to. Even it it's not "what one must do" I will still do it.
 PabloWest
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 118
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 4:08:26 PM
The reason she wants you to accept Christ is so you would be "saved" and become a "Born Again Christian". I'm a BAC and don't attend church regularly and I will occasionally have a beer and still listen to Rock & Country music. The major difference in my life is I'll go to Heaven when I die and lost most of my bad habits, bad friends, and I am honest with myself and others now. If you would put as much time into listening to her needs as you do your favorite things, you might learn something. This girl could be the best thing that ever happened to you and if you follow some of these "not so wise" people's advise on this site I can assure you you will loose. I wish you well.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 119
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 4:22:24 PM

The reason she wants you to accept Christ is so you would be "saved" and become a "Born Again Christian".
I'm quite certain he's clear on that, lol..

If you would put as much time into listening to her needs as you do your favorite things, you might learn something. This girl could be the best thing that ever happened to you and if you follow some of these "not so wise" people's advise on this site I can assure you you will loose.
Perhaps she could learn a thing or two from him as well? Most healthy relationships are a two way street in that regard, as opposed to one person taking on the role of saviour (or should I say 'way shower' toward supposed salvation) and the other playing the God forsaken dark and unrighteous unbeliever.

And sometimes those who are thought a fool, are often the wisest around..

Ever heard of entertaining angels unaware?

Who did Christ himself dine with?

But, being human.. we all have our limits, don't we?
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 120
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 5:14:18 PM
Try this: ask to do a compatibility horoscope w/ her b'day...if she flies off the handle that it's "demonic," bid her adieu.

And if she happily bases her life-choices on planetary alignments, then what? Stick around?



“…make me want to smack their head because they're not displaying the love of Christ properly.”

I’m not sure how that makes sense to you, Faithful One, but do you have any sense of how that looks from the outside? to some of us who understand your beliefs but don’t subscribe?

Wanting to smack somebody because they’re not displaying love? There might even be some biblical basis for it, depending on how you interpret and apply the scriptures.

But from a purely scientific point of view, getting smacked is not likely to turn the other person into a loving individual. It might just leave them angry and upset. And wanting to smack you back, perhaps, in this case, for not displaying christian love.

(I know you only said you wanted to; you didn’t say you’d do it.)
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 121
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 5:43:51 PM
@Faithful one:

I do share the gospel but that's all I do.

Do you mind if I ask what exactly that would entail?
For example, say you came to my door and wanted to share your ideas ideas with me, the door answerer. What would you say to me?
 xSevenx
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 122
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 6:01:40 PM
No the relationship is not worth pusing. Opposites attract short term but not long term. Good luck!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 6:05:44 PM
I was thinking about this question and couldnt help but chuckle

Because if someone wasnt intent on trying to convert me then them not just having a religion, but actively following it ie going to church services etc wouldnt really be much of a problem as its just an "activity" they would have, no different to ballroom dancing, playing a sport or anything else in some respects

So in the same way I wouldnt resent someone not taking an interest in all of my hobbies and interests I'd be happy enough with them pursuing theres. And tbh, the idea of someone who did infact have a decent set of moral and social codes nowadays would be quite an attractive prospect


The chuckling though was because it would be pretty unlikely for someone with a religous leaning to be equally "tolerant" of my religious beliefs (which is non), which is kind of comical when most religions (allegedly) preach of tolerance and understanding and yet seem to fall repeatedly short of the mark on showing those traits anywhere near as much as they expect to be shown them

Oh the irony of it all
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 6:13:49 PM
"Yes, there are people who called themselves "Christians" that make me want to smack their head because they're not displaying the love of Christ properly. I do share the gospel but that's all I do. I just present the truth and leave the decision up to the people. It's not my job to convert or shove Bible verses down people's throat. "

Ehh...wow, the only word I can think of is ironic. There are people who call themselves whatever they care to, including yourself. I do also label myself "christian", but it shocks me that you would not just want to judge how you think I am displaying the love of Christ properly, but I would challenge your reaction to that at smacking someone upside their head. I'm wondering if you know any instances of Christ smacking someone on their head when he came across those who were not displaying love "properly". I can state with absolute certainty that's not "christian" (which means Christ-like) behavior. Sharing the gospel, again, it appears to be what you deem to be the gospel, and if you have even cursory familiarity with scripture, much of it is about how christians are supposed to conduct themselves and live their lives than about "sharing the gospel". People learn more about christianity from observing how a christian behaves than about listening to someone's rendition of "the gospel".

You present the "truth", again, it's the truth about what you believe. Other people's "truth" may not line up with your own. I can state for a fact, that mine does not align with yours. And for that your reaction is to smack me on my head?

I have a challenge for you and your "truth". Print this post and show it to your pastor. I bet it'd make for an interesting discussion. The shoving the bible down people's throat, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what people think who you "share the gospel with" after you're gone.

FYI, I find it both interesting and sad that you never talked about your faith or any personal beliefs. IMO, that's what people are most interested in knowing. The gospels are available everywhere, the whole bible is online, in different versions and languages. I find when it's personal, people are more interested.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 125
view profile
History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 10/28/2011 6:15:55 PM

The chuckling though was because it would be pretty unlikely for someone with a religous leaning to be equally "tolerant" of my religious beliefs


You can say the same thing about politics. Anyone that is a true believer in anything are terribly intolerant of anyone and anything that doesn't fit their view point. They are the most dangerous people on the planet. Regardless of what it is they believe... Haha, I bet you can find a die-hard Harry Potter believer that will not accept your muggle ways.
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